Tag: Wisdom For Your Marriage

‘As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.’ Proverbs 27:17(NLT)

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

No one wants to be a dull axe. We want to be a sharp axe, effective in the hand of God. 

This will not happen if we’re apart from certain people in our lives. Wise people, godly people, humble people. People who care. We need people in our lives who love Jesus and love us. We need people who will love us enough to challenge, affirm, and encourage us. We need people who care enough to listen to us and understand us. We need people who will pray for us and pray with us. We need people who will model what it means to passionately pursue Christ.

For example, if you want to love God more, it helps immensely to be around people who are great lovers of God. Or, if you want to be a better husband or wife, it helps tremendously to spend time with people who are great husbands or wives. We need to see the life of Christ incarnated in our midst. It’s just the way God has made us.

Furthermore, this sharpening does not happen at a distance. It does not even happen at arm’s length. It happens when people get close. It happens when we let people into our lives and into our hearts. It happens when we take a risk and get real. It happens when we let people get close enough to see our struggles and our fears.

Iron doesn’t sharpen iron from a distance. Iron doesn’t sharpen iron unless there are a few sparks along the way. It might even get heated at times.

This is not the easy way. If you want the easy way, don’t let people get too close. But you will never be sharp in the hands of God. You’ll never be effective for the kingdom. You won’t be all that God intended you to be.

So what can you do? Be intentional. Let people into your heart. Care enough to reach out to others. Join a small group and raise the bar in it. Find a mentor. Find someone to mentor. Be real. Open your heart. Take a risk. Invite people to speak into your life. Do life with other people. Love boldly.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

from Wisdom For Your Marriage

‘A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.’ Proverbs 15:1(NLT)

When you are in a dispute and your frustration is rising, when you feel hurt and angry and you want to lash out, the Bible has a simple, practical principle: be gentle. Use soft words, a soft tone, and gentle gestures, for the Bible teaches us, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

You probably know what that’s like. Most of us have responded with harsh words at one time. Some of us have done that more often than we care to admit. Harsh words don’t help things, do they? They stir up anger. Whether you are right, wrong, or some mixture of both, harsh words don’t help the conflict.

It’s just the way life works. It’s not just what we say, but how we say it.

Perhaps this principle applies to marriage more than anywhere else. When you live with someone and seek to merge two lives into one, there will be friction. There will be conflict. Oh, how valuable Proverbs 15:1 can be for conflict in marriage. Every couple ought to adopt this verse as a firm rule of thumb for conflict and decide, “We don’t rant and rave. We don’t shout and yell. We don’t call each other names. We don’t speak harshly. We obey God and speak softly. It doesn’t matter if my parents yelled—we don’t yell. We obey God, for a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Marriage may be the prime application, but the principle of Proverbs 15:1 applies to all of life. When you’re upset at your high schooler, your grade schooler, or your preschooler: soft! When you are in a meeting at work and you feel disrespected and insulted: soft! When a careless, selfish driver cuts you off on the freeway: soft! When the clerk is a bit rude to you: soft! In a thousand situations, in all of life, practice the Proverbs 15:1 principle: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” By the power of the Spirit, make this the way you live your life. 

from Wisdom For Your Marriage

‘Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:18-19(NLT)

Sex is God’s idea. It is God’s creation. It is God’s gift.

The Bible is completely positive about sex in marriage. Consider Proverbs 5:18-19, a passage that is almost embarrassingly candid and expressive:

“Let your fountain be blessed, 

and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

a lovely deer, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

be intoxicated always in her love.”

God is saying to every married couple: “Enjoy your sexual relationship. This is my gift to you. Have fun! Husbands, take delight in the playful beauty and gracefulness of your wife’s body. Be intoxicated, ravished, by her love.”

This may not be the way you thought of God and sex, but this is the biblical perspective. Sex is God’s gift. In itself, sex is completely good.

Yes, sex can be abused. It is like fire. In the fireplace, fire is a good thing, giving warmth and light. But out of the fireplace, fire can do great damage.

Sex is that way. It is completely good in marriage, but outside of marriage, it can do great damage. Sex needs the context of a loving, committed, trust-filled marriage. Sex needs this context because it is so powerful.

Sex is not just the merger of two bodies, but the merger of two hearts and two souls. Whenever a man and a woman have sex, there is a channel cut between their souls, a channel of emotional and spiritual intimacy. A channel intended by God to express tender love and deep oneness.

You cannot do that casually. You can only do that within the safety and security of lifetime love. No wonder people get so hurt when they abuse God’s gift of sex.

Sex is good. Enjoy it to the hilt in marriage, but only in marriage. It is simply too powerful for any place other than a committed, loving, and secure marriage. 

from Wisdom For Your Marriage