Tag: Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.’ Proverbs 16:9(NLT)

——- Hit for Average – Loving for a Lifetime ——

Proverbs 16:9

Many coaching families begin with a wedding during their twenties. This is a decade full of major decisions. What to do for a living, where to live, whether to marry, whom to marry, whether to have children, and more are among the countless major life decisions to be made.

King Solomon lends us some wise counsel in the book of Proverbs chapter 16, verse 9. There it says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” That seems pretty simple, but to live it out is a little more complex. Let’s consider the implications for a coaching family.

It’s a good thing to have a plan, and this proverb leaves us room to make plans. It’s also a good thing to allow some wiggle room in our plan for the Lord to make course corrections. Most of us, when we’re in our twenties, make plans for family and career, but we’d have to confess that our vision is pretty blurry. The Lord has no such lack of clarity. He knows and is well prepared to direct our steps toward the fulfillment of His purposes and our joy.

Ask any coaching couple in their sixties how closely their path of family and career matches the plans they made as newlyweds. They will probably chuckle at the disparity, and will surely marvel at the Lord’s wisdom.

The coaching family in their twenties might imagine that the map of their coaching life will be a straight line from point A to point B, always moving up and to the right. It is to our benefit that the Lord doesn’t always allow us such a path. He knows that much of what we will need is not on a straight-line path. We gather much of the character, skills, knowledge, and wisdom we need for our arrival at point B, at points way off the straight-line path due to failure, betrayal, bad decisions, and even rebellion. The Lord determines our steps and will not fail to fully equip us.

During your twenties, trust the Lord to guide you through the major decisions, even if you can’t see clearly and wonder where the path has gone. He is leading and will deliver you right on time.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  What sorts of decisions were you making in your twenties? How many of those decisions worked out as you thought they would?

2.  What are the major decisions you would like to have another shot at making?

3.  How clearly can you see the Lord’s hand in directing your steps as you look back on your twenties? Which course corrections did you resist at first?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. ‘ Ephesians 4:1-2(NLT)

——- Hit for Power – Making a Strong Impact ——

Ephesians 4:1-2

Your role as a coaching family is a high calling from God. How well did that sentence settle in your mind? How strongly does it resonate in your heart? Is this role something you have come to embrace as a vocation, an expression of your devotion to God? Many of your colleagues see it through the lens of their stipend, while others view it through the eyes of God. Which are you?

In his letter to the church at Ephesus, chapter 4, verses 1 through 3, the Apostle Paul strongly calls his friends to a high standard. There we read, “Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” That’s a challenging and direct standard for a group of people who live in a debaucherously pagan city.

We are similarly challenged today as coaching families. Our calling is from God and we must lead a life worthy of our calling. Live worthy of it; don’t defame it professionally or as a family. Be humble and gentle; putting away arrogance and intimidation. Be patient and unified as a coaching staff and as a coaching family. 

Imagine the impact your coaching family can have with your colleagues and friends as your career stretches from months, to years, to decades. Only the Lord Jesus can grasp the breadth and depth of your Spirit-fueled influence.

To demonstrate these qualities in our coaching and in our family life is certainly worthy of our calling. Our love for each other carries these attitudes and behaviors to full fruition and pleases our Lord greatly.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  When you read that first sentence, what sort of a reaction did it prompt in you?

2.  Who are some coaching families that you sense live with a sense of calling from God?

3.  What are some facets of your coaching life that may not be worthy of your calling?

4.  How will your love for the people you lead empower your patience with them?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. ‘ Hebrews 10:24(NLT)

——- Field – Dealing with Problems and Crises ——

Hebrews 10:24

What is it that best motivates your coaching colleagues? Where are the motivational buttons on your players? What brings out the best in your spouse? When you ask your children about homework or assigned tasks, how do you keep them engaged? 

The writer of the book of Hebrews understood that motivation is not a one size fits all proposition. He writes about it in chapter 10, verse 24. There we read, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” This simple sentence is loaded with key verbs and nouns for our instruction.

He instructs us to “think of ways to motivate.” This implies that we must consider that there may be multiple different ways to motivate the people around us. We are all wired differently. Some may be motivated by reward, others by encouragement, others by challenge, still others by fear, and some by the promise of a promotion or a financial bonus. What is it with you? What best motivates your spouse?

A few other key words are, “acts of love and good works.” Some people are plenty motivated, but not to acts of love and good works. What are the ways that you can best move your players toward love and good works? How do we motivate our family members to be their best?

The challenge for each of us is to carefully consider all those we lead and to discern the best ways to lead them to act lovingly and to serve each other. This makes for great teamwork on the field of competition and it makes for a wonderful coaching family.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  What have you observed to best motivate those with whom you coach?

2.  What motivates your family members to be at their best?

3.   What would you tell your spouse is the number one way to motivate you to acts of love and good works?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.’ Isaiah 61:1(NLT)

——- Throw – Communicating Effectively ——

Isaiah 61:1

A number of years ago, I was given a copy of the book, “Season of Life,” by Jeffrey Marx. The book chronicles the life transformation of Coach Joe Ehrmann. I found it to be deeply touching and of tremendous value, and I gave several copies to my coaching friends. Joe’s heart piercing question for coaches is, “Why do you coach?” To contemplate that question and to communicate it effectively is a powerful tool for a coaching family.

Similarly, the prophet Isaiah writes about his “Why” in Isaiah chapter 61 verse 1. There we read, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.” 

Isaiah served as he did because God had called and anointed him to bring good news, to comfort, and to proclaim freedom. His transformational purpose statement was clear and powerful.

Coaching families are in a similar position to Isaiah’s. God has chosen and anointed you to communicate a powerful message to all those you lead. Speak good news to the disheartened and confused. Speak comfort to those broken by life. Proclaim freedom to those in chains of pain, guilt, addiction, and deceit.

You may find that you best communicate your “Why?” as a couple. Your coaching family may be the best expression of your transformational purpose, as you live, love, and communicate with all those around you. 

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  What would you say if someone asked you, “Why do you coach?”

2.  On a 1 – 10 scale, how strongly do you sense that God has called and anointed you to coach? (1 = slightly, 10 = powerfully)

3.  How are some ways that your coaching family can both communicate and demonstrate your calling to be God’s messengers in sport?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry tour and told him all they had done and taught. Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. ‘ Mark 6:30-32(NLT)

——-  Leading a Busy Lifestyle ——

Mark 6:30-32

Coaching is a consuming lifestyle, for the entire family. It chews up hours, energy, attention, emotion, and squeezes the margins of our lives. How can we build in time for family that refreshes our souls and replenishes our love for each other? 

The Lord Jesus, during the three years of his ministry on Earth was certainly busy. He had a short time to reveal God’s will, to accomplish His plan, and to equip those who would further His mission. His approach to rest and rejuvenation is described in Mark chapter 6, verses 30 through 32. There we read, “The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry tour and told him all they had done and taught. Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place to rest awhile.’ He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone.”

The busyness of Jesus’ life with the apostles was squeezing them harshly, and Jesus took action. He took them away from all the noise and commotion to rest. Twice, the text mentions that He sought a quiet place for them. He called them aside to rest and to be alone. 

Our coaching families should take note. Our families need to occasionally get away from the noise and commotion of our normal lives, to somewhere quiet, to rest, and to be alone. We need these moments; whether an hour over coffee with our spouse, a weekend away, a family vacation, or a sabbatical from work. We need the quiet, rest, and solitude to reflect, to reconnect with loved ones, to renew the bonds of devotion.

The challenge today is to be as responsive as Jesus was. Seek and schedule a time to say to your coaching family, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place to rest awhile.” 

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  What about your coaching family life is consuming of your time, energy, and attention?

2.  How well do you schedule rest and recovery into your weekly agenda? Give yourself a letter grade – A, B, C, D, or F.

3.  When and where will you take your coaching family away for some quiet and rest?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.’ Song of Songs 7:10(NLT)

——- I N T I M A C Y ——

Song of Songs 7:10

Have you come to a time in your life where your relationship with your spouse is its own reward? Do you still need all the trappings of the sporting life to keep your interest, or have you grown to love your spouse more deeply and intimately? Sadly, we all know people whose marriages have crumbled as soon as the player or coach was no longer in the sport. A marriage characterized by mature love and intimacy possesses something the merely infatuated and the newly identifying lovers cannot even imagine.

Solomon wrote about mature love in Song of Songs chapter seven and verse ten. There it reads, “I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.” Now this woman has nothing to say about browsing among lilies. Neither does she make a claim of possession of her lover. She simply says, “I am my lover’s.” Selfless and content, she now is.

Further, she says, “he claims me as his own.” Amazingly, she finds that the true reward of this relationship is the bond of love and intimacy itself. She is no longer impressed by the external trappings of her lover, it is him that her soul loves. As he claims her as his own, it thrills her heart and brings joy to her soul.

Think about the oldest coaching couples you know. They don’t look like they did in their youth. They don’t do the exciting things they did as a young couple. They don’t need to. Their bond of love and intimacy now finds that the relationship is its own reward. This is the goal. Toward this intimate love, we must all persevere. 

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  Take a moment today to talk with your spouse about some of those long-enduring Christian coaching couples. What do you admire about them? 

2.  Think about a time when you and your spouse can get together with one of those older coaching couples to talk about how they made their love last for so long. Set a date.

3.   Make time to affirm your life-long commitment to your spouse. Set your course toward a lifetime of love that has your intimate bond of love as its own reward.

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. ‘ Romans 5:8(NLT)

——- S A C R I F I C E ——

Romans 5:8

How do you as a coaching family demonstrate your love for the people you coach? How do you show your love for the men and women with whom you coach? What does it cost you to love in such ways? Take a moment to contemplate these expressions of love and the effect they have in the lives of all concerned. This is the very work of God in your life.

In writing to his friends in Rome, the Apostle Paul penned these words in chapter five and verse eight, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” When we sacrificially love the people in and around our coaching family, we are joining God in His eternal mission of restoring people to a relationship with Himself.

We must note that it was, “while we were still sinners,” that Jesus came to die for us. God’s way is to seek out the rebellious and wayward for relationship, rather than waiting for them to get their stuff together and then loving them. We will surely have to love the rebellious and wayward in a sacrificial manner to be similarly redemptive.

Our minds may find it easier to think of those we coach as we think about sacrificial love and redemptive relationships, but this surely occurs at home as well. Imagine the depth of impact that will be made when a husband lays down his life for his bride. Contemplate the power of a wife’s sacrificial love toward her husband. Further, think about the generational effect of a Christian coaching family on a community.

This impact, power, and generational effect only occurs in an atmosphere of sacrificial love that pursues those we may consider to be unworthy and undeserving. Can you be that kind of coaching family? Will you commit to being that sort of husband? Are you a wife who can show God’s great love to the rebellious and foolish? By the grace of God, you can be. By the power of God you will.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  What are your most common demonstrations of love for the people you coach?

2.  How does your coaching family show your love for your coaching colleagues?

3.  What are the situations in your family that require sacrificial love? How will you pursue those who need such love?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. ‘ 1 Peter 4:8(NLT)

——- L O Y A L T Y ——

1 Peter 4:8

Think for a moment about one of the situations in your coaching career that demanded fierce and unquestioned loyalty from you. How did you maintain such loyalty in spite of the difficult circumstances? You are probably picturing in your mind people who stretch your loyalty to its limits. How long are you supposed to put up with their nonsense? Where will you find the strength of will to get through their next episode? Jesus had days and people like that on his team and in his family.

In his first letter to his friends of the church in present-day Turkey, the Apostle Peter wrote these words in chapter four, verse eight, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” I would imagine that when Peter is penning these thoughts, he can see the face of the Lord Jesus in his mind. Peter was very conscious of his multitude of sins, and he had experienced the deep love and loyalty of Jesus. Of all the disciples, it must have required immense patience and loyalty to deal with Peter for three years.

Peter emphasizes that love is the power behind loyalty as he says, “Most important of all.” A deep love for each other is the substance of loyalty in a team, in a family, between a husband and wife, as deep love carries loyalty in its arms. The depth of this love is indicated by its effect as Peter writes, “for love covers a multitude of sins.” We’re more than happy to have Jesus’ love cover our multitude of sins, but in this verse, he’s referring to the multitude of sins committed by those around us.

Sometimes we’re on the blunt end of the multitude of sins committed by our players, our coaching colleagues, and even our spouses. Suddenly the depth of love required seems greater and the multitude of sins is accompanied by deeply painful memories. This is why it says, “most important of all”

The challenge for us today, with our teams, with our families, with our spouses, and with our coaching colleagues is to appropriate the infinitely deep love of Jesus to the multitude of sins that have been visited upon us. As we have received Jesus’ love and forgiveness, we can now extend it to others. The results of such love is an enduring loyalty.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  Who are the people and situations that push your loyalty to the breaking point?

2.  How easy is it to love these people, when you just want to escape?

3.  Think of some concrete ways you can appropriate the deep love of Jesus and express it toward the people who are stressing your loyalty.

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ‘ Colossians 3:14(NLT)

——- D E V O T I O N ——

Colossians 3:14

Has your coaching family ever been connected with a program that was marked by unity and love? If so, that must have been fantastic. If not, do you believe that can be achieved? Do you find everyone in the coaching community easy to love, or have there been some challenging times with certain people? How would making the purposeful choice to love develop a perfect bond of unity in your coaching family?

That is precisely the point made by the Apostle Paul as he wrote to his friends in the church at Colossae in chapter three, verse fourteen, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” That seems pretty simple until you have to love some unlovely or seemingly unlovable people. Some coaching staffs and most families have some of each.

The language Paul uses is very important to this process. He says, “Above all.” What follows is obviously of greatest importance. It’s like when the coach blows the whistle to get everyone’s attention. Consider the whistle blown. “Clothe yourselves with love.” To wrap ourselves in love is to be done as purposefully and as regularly as we put on clothes to start each day. Such love is the stuff that “binds us all together in perfect harmony.” This love, purposefully put on, is the sticky stuff that binds teams, coaching staffs, marriages, families, and friends together.

Coaching family, above all, wrap yourselves in the wonderfully sticky love of God. It will bind you together. It will keep you unified, perfectly. Put it on today, tomorrow, the next day, and so on. This is the substance of life-long devotion.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  Think about the coaches and families you know who are characterized by unity and love.

2.  What makes them tick? How do they clothe themselves with love?

3.  What are some daily habits you can cultivate that help you put on love, purposefully and regularly?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

——- R E S P E C T ——

1 Peter 3:7

How do coaches, competitors, and sports officials demonstrate respect for each other? How is one’s experience in sport affected by such expressions of respect? How would a coach show proper respect for his or her spouse? How would that relationship be affected by consistent displays of genuine respect or honor?

The Apostle Peter wrote about such matters in chapter three, verse seven of his first letter to his friends. There it reads, “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature, yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” You may already be bristling at the thought of a wife having a weaker nature, but don’t let that throw you off course. 

Whether a coach is male or female, to consistently demonstrate respect, communicate honor, and treat your spouse as a co-heir of the grace of life as a coaching family is at the heart of a thriving relationship.

A life in coaching will certainly require a good deal of understanding from his or her spouse. The demands of time, the pressure to win, the emotional strain, and the layers of a relationship required for excellence are consuming for all concerned. To show proper honor to one’s spouse will not only enhance the relationship, but this scripture says it protects the effectiveness of our prayers.

Commit yourselves to be a coaching family that demonstrates the highest levels of respect and honor as you live together as co-heirs of the grace of life.

Questions for Contemplation and Discussion:

1.  How do the coaches, competitors, and sports officials you know demonstrate respect for each other? How well do they show respect for and honor their spouses?

2.  What are your favorite ways to express honor for your spouse? How does he or she respond to them?

3.  How will being a co-heir of the grace of life, with your spouse, shape your life of prayer and help you build a coaching family characterized by respect and honor?

from Whistles and Wedding Rings: Devotions for Coaches and Spouses