Tag: UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands

‘“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.’ Matthew 5:13-16(NLT)

Matthew 5:13-16
“’13 You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.14 You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.'”

As we finish up this series on our words for the Uncommen man, we wanted to broaden the scope a bit. We are striving to be an Uncommen Husband, Dad, and Leader, but what have we been called to be to the world? God’s command is to be Salt and Light to the world as they may see your good deeds and they should glorify God. You are called to set the bar high and then take that into the world to have an influence in your job, community, country, and the world.

Being an example (salt & light) at your job is underrated as we have a need to fit into the business culture to stay employed or to advance. With over 35 years of working experience, I learned years ago that character is hard to teach. Your boss may say he/she is looking for a person with training or experience, but dependability and trust are just as important. Early in my career, I was at a review and my employer told me, “Do you know why I hired you all those years ago? I hire on character over experience any day.”

Being Uncommen in the community can range from being a good neighbor to serving at a local soup kitchen or something even larger. The point is, to be Uncommen, you have to be active in your community. In spite of all the happy selfies people post on social media, there are hurting people out there, and your city has tons of ways you can help. It’s a great family activity as well.

If there was ever a time when our country needed Uncommen Men to stand up and be an example, it is now. That statement is not political; it’s not an agenda; and it’s not meant to be an inspirational quote on Facebook. Our country needs us in a variety of ways, but just as this series is focused around WORDS, it needs us to be able to communicate with each other. Arguing is not communicating. I love the saying, “Better to be thought of a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt”.

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country, and dare I say it… the world!

Questions:

Are you Uncommen in your job, community, country, and the world? If not, why?
What was the last community service project you took part in?
Would you be willing to serve more if you did it with other people?

Challenge:

If you are watching our way of life crumble on TV and social media, you may be part of the problem. Change can’t happen from the sofa. It requires us to be willing to get outside our box and serve others. Only by serving others will our world see an example of what to be like and that example is Uncommen.

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

‘No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. “Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”’ Joshua 1:5-9(NLT)

Numbers 14:5-9 – “5 Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. 6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, ‘The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.’” 

In the midst of people second-guessing God, Joshua stood his ground and stated “…The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid…”

There are many things I love about Joshua; in fact, I named my first born Joshua. But the best part of this passage is that Joshua wasn’t just stating his opinion but rather testifying to what he had seen and what God said He was going to do for the people of Israel.

A leader isn’t just the loudest of the group, and he is not the biggest of the group. He is the person who God has positioned and prepared for the role of leadership. While it may not have been anticipated, it was a seamless change of leadership from Moses to Joshua because God had prepared Joshua ahead of time. Notice that Joshua stated his view and challenged the Israelite assembly. He didn’t insult them or intimidate them… he spoke the truth! God’s Truth!

What kind of leader are you? Are you the most forward in the group and the first to step up? Or do you only seek the role of leadership when no one else will? While leadership skills may be built into your DNA, those skills have to be honed to be a benefit for others. How many times do you hear Jesus yelling at people to get their attention in the Bible? People would gather around pushing and shoving just to get near him and listen to what he had to say.

Leadership comes in many forms, and you may find that your family is waiting for you to lead. Your career is waiting for you to lead. Do so with God leading you.

Questions:

Is God preparing you for a leadership role?
Are you seeking God’s instruction to grow as a leader?
What are you doing to put yourself in the right position when God calls you to lead?

Challenge: 

God did not call you to stay where you are. See God’s will for where He wants to lead you, and be willing to move when He says it’s time!

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘ James 1:19(NLT)

James 1:19 – “This you know, my beloved brethren. Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…”
 
Pardon me while I brag on my two sons for a minute. I have two Godly, talented, rockstar sons (Joshua and Noah), and I say that with all the objectivity I can muster. Two young men who didn’t go through that adolescence phase or that teenage angst timeframe. But, rather, showed interest in me and my wife even to the degree of wanting to work at our design company. Both will go full-time when they graduate college.
 
They are respectful, loving, kind, and just flat-out the best thing I ever did. Praise God!!!
 
I truly believe that is the result of the boundaries we set to help them understand what it takes to be a well-rounded, Christ-focused person with a heart for others. There were times when I had to deliver unpopular rules or verbal discipline that would hurt me much more than them, but it was very seldom. The bottom line was: I had to be the dad and not the friend. But there is a way of speaking truth to your children without leaving scars. Verbal abuse has zero tolerance in my world, and it’s how my wife and I have parented our children from day one. I can speak to my sons with authority without abusing them with hurtful words that destroy the communication between us.
 
Your children are often reaching out to you for instruction and advice in many different ways. Be open to hearing from them and speaking with them with love and not out of anger.
 
There are so many ways my sons make me proud, but when they come to me and say, “Dad, can I get your advice on something?”, I know I’ve developed a platform of communication that my sons can always feel safe on.

If your past has a negative influence on the way you communicate with your children, then it’s time you took it to God to change that. There are books upon books out there on learning how to communicate more effectively, but just like all change, it has to start with you.
 
Questions:
 
Do you make time for your children other than just when you have to?
Would you consider yourself a parent or a friend? It’s hard to be both.
Do you spend time worshiping together?
Are you verbally abusive?
 
Challenge:

Sit down with your child over pizza, ice cream, or coffee, and listen twice as much as you talk. Give advice when they are open to hearing it, and let them know they can always come to you for support. Never, and I mean NEVER, say something that you will regret later. Words leave scars.

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

‘Wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites disaster.’ Proverbs 10:14(NLT)

Proverbs 10:14 – “Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand.”
 
Men, we are often our own worst enemy when it comes to communication. Whether you are newly married or a veteran like me (33+ years with my wife), you should have come to understand that the way you and your wife communicate will determine the happiness of your household. Happy wife / Happy life.
 
By nature, men are fixers. We want a small explanation of the problem while we are putting on our hero outfit and cape so we can spring into action and fix the problem. Women usually want to explain in detail what is going on, and they expect us to do something we rarely do well… listen.
 
Someone asked me: “What was the most surprising thing you’ve experienced in owning your own business?” Without hesitation, I said “People’s shocking inability to communicate effectively”.
 
But God doesn’t want that for our marriages. He wants clear, sound, truthful, kind, and open communication with each other. The number one thing I pray for during my quiet time is wisdom. Not that I’m channeling my inner King Solomon. But rather, I want to know the mind of God in every situation in my life. I want to store up knowledge and communicate effectively with my wife.

My wife and I do marriage studies frequently just to keep our marriage in tip-top shape and one of best ones we’ve done was “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It talks about the process of finding your love language and how you like to be communicated to. Once you and your wife have determined what your love languages are (there are usually two), you can then understand how to communicate to each other. If her love language is quality time and you keep giving gifts with no appreciation from her, it gets frustrating. It’s important to learn how someone communicates and then communicate that way toward them. It sounds very basic, but it’s one of the most overlooked things when it comes to communication.

As with anything, you will only get out what you put into a marriage, and communication is at the heart of everything.
 
Questions:
 
How do you and your wife communicate?
When was the last time you did a marriage study?
When was the last time you prayed for your wife?
 
Challenge:

Take the marriage Study – “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Learn what your wife’s love language is while she learns yo

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

‘Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ‘ James 3:9(NLT)

James 3:9 – “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”
 
I’m sure you’ve heard of “The Ugly American” right? He’s the person who visits another country and acts all kinds of ignorant while representing America. People look at him/her and lump all of Americans to what he/she is doing.
 
I’m here to talk about “The Ugly Christian”. This is the person who has come to know Jesus as their savior but has now turned their attention to others. This is the person who is humble at church or maybe even in person but acts like a complete fool on social media toward everything and everyone they disagree with. They post one day about how much love they have toward the things God loves and then curse people the next ten posts.
 
This person is just what James is talking about when he says, “We praise our Lord and curse human beings, WHO HAVE BEEN MADE IN GOD’S LIKENESS”. The very people whom you and I curse are the very people God has made.
 
Not only are you killing your own testimony by acting this way, but I’m sure God is going to have a little talk with you at some point about this.
 
We are not all going to agree on everything, but we can agree that God has created all of us, and when you are cursing another person, you are cursing something that is wonderfully made by God. You can choose to use your tongue to raise up or tear people down. Many times we tear people down because we are trying to make ourselves feel better. It’s important to speak the truth, but it’s also important to speak it in a Godly manner that reflects the love and mercy of a God who loved you enough to die on a cross while we were all still sinners.

Watch your words; be true to God; and love people
 
Questions:
 
Do you praise and curse in the same breath?
Do you think you are ruining your testimony with the way you communicate with people?
What can you change to help you reflect God better?
 
Challenge:

Evaluate the way you speak in-person and online. Understand you are representing God, and while He wants you to speak the truth, if you can’t do it without coming across as a fool, He may want you to just stop talking.

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders