Tag: Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 1

‘Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king.’ 1 Peter 2:17(NLT)

‘“But,” someone might still argue, “how can God condemn me as a sinner if my dishonesty highlights his truthfulness and brings him more glory?” ‘ Romans 3:7(NLT)

‘“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.’ Matthew 7:12(NLT)

‘For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ‘ Ephesians 5:25-27(NLT)

Devotional Content:

“Do Not Enter” signs make me want to enter. I guess that is my rebellious side that sometimes pops up. Yet, I know these signs are there for a reason. For example, there could be something dangerous down that street or past the gate. I run a risk if I disobey the “do not enter” sign. Maybe someone posts that sign because they want privacy. They do not want anyone bothering them. If they want to interact with someone they will initiate the interaction. If I do not heed the sign, I am crossing a boundary that someone put in place.  

I think there are “do not enter” signs in marriage. Let’s look at two. First, I am married to Nancy and have been since I was 22. “Do not enter” signs need to surround my marriage. There are places I do not need to go because they are dangerous for my marriage. Flirting with another woman, looking at pornography, having a meal or coffee with a woman alone, and going to strip clubs are all “do not enters,” and there are many more. Those I listed are the ones I see guys go past all the time and they all lead to something that is very dangerous for your marriage. The bottom line is just do not go there. Violating the “do not enter” sign will never get you to an Awesome Marriage.

The second “do not enter” sign in marriage has to do with respecting your spouse. Let me give you a couple of examples. If you have been in an argument and your spouse needs time to think things through, give them the time. If your spouse says “not tonight, how about tomorrow,” respect their request. You get the idea. Listen to your spouse and respect what they ask of you. Do this for them and the odds are good that they will return the favor to you.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What are the “do not enter” signs you need to obey and/or respect in your marriage?

2. Dr. Kim listed some places men need to not enter. What are places that women need to not enter?

3. What are some ways that you show respect for each other?  

4. What are some other ways you can respect your spouse?

Going Deeper:

As you complete part one of this two-part plan, pick one thing you have learned to focus on for the next month.

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 1

‘Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ‘ Matthew 22:37(NLT)

‘for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him.’ Colossians 1:16(NLT)

‘My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ‘ Galatians 2:20(NLT)

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Do you have one way streets where you live? I do. Most of ours are in the downtown area. I think their purpose is to make traffic flow more smoothly and I think it actually works. If I am on a one-way street, I have four or six lanes going my way instead of two or three. I get where I am going faster, with less hassle. Sometimes I am in a hurry and the one-way street that I want to turn on doesn’t go the way I want it to. So I have to go another block or so, through a couple of extra traffic lights to get to the one-way street going in the direction I want to go. I have often wished that I had a remote I could click and make the one-way street always go the direction I want it to.

Marriage is a one way street — or it needs to be. One way that puts God first. One way that is a lifetime commitment to your spouse. One way that is for better or worse, richer or poorer, and in sickness or health until you die. The one-way marriage street has six lanes and I like that. The goal is always the same but there are a number of good ways to get there.  

Our problem comes when we happen to think about other one-way streets. The one we can far too easily hop over to is called “me first.” It is in direct opposition to our one-way marriage street. “Me first” puts self first instead of God. It places conditions on our commitment. It says we are here if things are better, richer, and healthy, but out of here if things are worse, poor, or sick. It says we are only here till things get tough.

The one-way marriage street can be bumpy and have a few potholes but it will get us where we want to go. Those other one-way streets can take us away from an awesome marriage – sometimes so far away that we never find the way back.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What are the one-way streets that take your focus off of your marriage?

2. What do you need to do to stay off of them? 

3.  What do you need to do that will get – and keep – you on the one-way street leading to an Awesome Marriage?

Going Deeper:

Discuss the bumps and potholes on your one-way street today. As a couple, what will you commit to that will keep you from changing to another one-way street?

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 1

‘The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”’ Mark 12:31(NLT)

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:3-4(NLT)

‘You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges ; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.’ Philippians 2:5-8(NLT)

‘We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.” ‘ Romans 15:1-3(NLT)

Devotional Content:

I was driving through my neighborhood this morning. It was a beautiful day. I saw a friend jogging toward me. I looked over to wave at him about the same time I passed a YIELD sign. This particular YIELD sign was at a place where two roads merge into one.  If two cars try to merge from two lanes into one at the same time, the results are not good. Thus, there is a YIELD sign and it was in my lane. I was supposed to slow down or stop to let the other driver enter the lane before I did. Luckily, I looked up in time to hit my brakes before I hit another car. Close call because I did not obey the YIELD sign.  

There are YIELD signs all over my marriage and often I ignore them too. I often interpret the YIELD to mean that I do not get my way and Nancy does. What it really means is for me to be unselfish even when I do not feel like it. There are times I get it and there are times I do not want to get it. I have said for years that the number one problem in marriage is selfishness. I should know – I can achieve professional status in this area. 

I have made an interesting observation. When I am driving and obey the YIELD sign, I never have a problem. I never had a wreck from obeying the YIELD sign. In my marriage, when I am unselfish, my marriage is really good. Do you know that Nancy and I have never, ever had a fight when I was being unselfish? Amazing, huh?

What if you envisioned a YIELD sign right next to your spouse? Then, what if you obeyed it? Finally, what if you did that day after day after day? Awesome Marriage? Probably.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. When you are driving how do you handle YIELD signs?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how selfish are you in your marriage?

3. How has selfishness affected your marriage?

Going Deeper:

Together make a YIELD sign to put on your refrigerator. Let it be a reminder for both of you to choose to YIELD instead of being selfish.

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 1

‘Stay away from every kind of evil.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:22(NLT)

‘But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ‘ Matthew 5:28(NLT)

‘Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:18(NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

‘People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will be exposed.’ Proverbs 10:9(NLT)

Devotional Content:

The STOP sign is pretty cut and dry. Stop means stop. Failing to stop could result in a ticket or even being smashed by another car. The STOP sign is a non-negotiable. If you take the driving test to get your license and you do not stop at the STOP sign, you fail the driver’s test. Stopping when told to do so is essential. There is no argument. There are no second chances.

There are STOP signs in marriage too. They mean the same thing in marriage as they do on the streets. Here are two big ones: pornography, and infidelity. The bottom line is that you stop: You do not go there. No trial runs. No baby steps. No “just this once.” STOP.

Make it an absolute. Do not cross the line. Do not give in. Pornography and infidelity destroy families and marriages. You are not the exception. Actually, there are no exceptions. These are relationship killers. The sign says “STOP,” and that is exactly what you must do. If you run this sign, the consequences are far more devastating than you could ever imagine. STOP means STOP for a reason. So STOP. Today. Now.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. Culture tells us that pornography is not a “stop sign.” Do you agree or disagree?

2. When Jesus talks about adultery, He takes the sin up a notch and includes lust. Why do you think Jesus put adultery and lust as equals?

3. What are “baby steps” that can lead us to adultery and pornography?

Going Deeper:

Come up with a plan together to protect your marriage from adultery and pornography.

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 1

Introduction

‘Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.’ Proverbs 19:20(NLT)

‘But be sure that everything is done properly and in order.’ 1 Corinthians 14:40(NLT)

Devotional Content:

We pass them every day. Sometimes we read them and sometimes we do not.  Sometimes we obey them and sometimes we do not. Traffic signs are everywhere.  They are there to protect, to guide, to warn, and to bring order. We want every other driver on the roads and highways to abide by them. Yet, on the other hand, we want a little flexibility with these signs when it comes to ourselves. If I am in a hurry, I really do not have time to come to a full stop at the STOP sign. If there are no other cars in my line of vision, why do I need to slow down at the YIELD sign? What about the CAUTION sign? After all, I have been driving for a number of years. I don’t need some sign to tell me to be cautious! Traffic signs are everywhere. I just do not want them to get in my way.

What if these signs were in your marriage? Would you read them, obey them, or ignore them? If the signs were there, would you want your spouse to follow them to the letter?  What about you? Follow or ignore?

Over the next few days, we are going to look at traffic signs and ask, “What do these traffic signs mean if we apply them to marriage?” Join me. It’s going to be one heck of a ride!  

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What traffic signs are you most likely to ignore — or sometimes not obey?

2. What happens if another driver chooses to ignore a traffic sign?  

3. What if that other driver’s careless driving impacts you?

Going Deeper:

What would “traffic signs” in your marriage look like?

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 1