Tag: Tongue Pierced

‘Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. ‘ Philippians 4:11-12(NLT)

A psalm of thanksgiving.
‘Shout with joy to the Lord , all the earth! Worship the Lord with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.’ Psalms 100:1-5(NLT)

Have you ever met someone who is always waiting for life’s next milestone before he or she can be happy? Maybe you are one of those people. I have a close friend who does this all the time. When we were in school, he couldn’t wait to graduate because then he’d be happy. After graduation, he couldn’t wait to meet the right woman and get married. After he got married, he began focusing on moving up the ladder in his company. Then kids became the missing ingredient that he couldn’t be happy without…

Being content doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have dreams for the future. But as we plan, set goals, and work toward them, we need to live in the present with a sense of peace and gratitude.

Words have the power to end this cycle of discontentment. Using them to build an attitude of gratitude will draw you into a deeper appreciation of life’s day-to-day beauty. That attitude is what will keep you from looking back one day and wishing you could relive the last ten, twenty, or thirty years being more present. How can you get started? Make the decision to hold your tongue when you start to say things such as:
I can’t wait until Friday… If only my vacation would hurry up and get here… Is it five o’clock yet… When will I find my partner in life…

Instead of speaking want, develop a habit of focusing on what you are grateful for at the moment. Thank God for his goodness, for your health, for your family and friends, for the ability to work and create income. Thank him for giving you another day of life and a purpose to fulfill.

If you’ll simply start looking, you’ll find countless things to be thankful for. Think about those things. Talk about those things. Let your subconscious hear your grateful words so it can, in turn, foster more opportunities for gratefulness in your life.

As you begin working these practices into your day, you will start seeing all you have to be grateful for with fresh eyes. Your heart will begin to shift toward an appreciation for the good in your life, and your words will reflect that shift.

* Will you commit to shifting your attitude to one of gratefulness? How will you start this journey?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

The words that accompany an attitude of kindness also continually reinforce it. For example, when you speak kind words to your spouse, he or she is more likely to reciprocate the effort. Over a period of time, that simple step will lead to more love between you. Here are two of the best, most effective ways you can use kind words to bolster the love in your relationship:

1. Praise your spouse in public.
When you are around friends and family members, speak well of your spouse. Make a point of complimenting him or her. Tell a story about something great he did. There’s not much that will make your spouse swell with love and affection for you more than hearing words of affirmation spoken in the presence of others. Conversely, there’s no better way to undermine a relationship than to speak negatively to or about your spouse in front of other people.

2. Avoid sarcasm and harsh words masked as jokes.
Inappropriate joking is one of the most common mistakes I see men make with their wives. Until they learn better, most men think they can josh around with their wife in the same way they do with their buddies; this kind of joking usually consists of poking fun, sarcasm, and trash-talking. But most women don’t respond well to that kind of communication, even when they know it’s in jest. Instead of trying to prove that there’s no harm in talking that way, be mindful of how your spouse wants to be communicated with, and humble yourself to honor that.

1 Corinthians 13 consists of wise words to live by in our love relationships. If we can learn to give away love that is patient and kind, not jealous, proud, boastful, rude, or irritable; if we can love in a way that causes us to never keep a record of wrongs (that’s a big one, isn’t it?); if we can learn to walk in love that never loses faith and is always hopeful; if we can learn to live a love that endures through every circumstance, then we will have cultivated a love that will allow our marriages to thrive at the highest level.

* How often do you praise your spouse in public? Communicate in sarcasm and harsh words? How would your relationship be different if you communicated with 1 Corinthians 13 type love?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

‘You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.’ Psalms 139:13-14(NLT)

Your thought life also manifests itself in the quality of your relationships with others. That’s because of how you think and feel about yourself dictates how you interact with people. For example, if you see yourself as shy or socially awkward, that belief will lead you to avoid social situations and you lose out on the relationships you may find through them. If you avoid connecting with other people because you’re afraid you won’t be liked or that you’ll get hurt, you are crippling your life based on fear—fear that’s counter to who you were created to be and perpetuated by the words you allow to run around in your head. Do you ever find yourself thinking things like the following?

I always say the wrong thing when I talk to her… I don’t get along well with other people… Relationships are hard for me… I’m so uncomfortable in social settings…

Phrases like these put you on the path to relational dissatisfaction. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. You may very well say the wrong thing when you talk to people, but if you do, it’s because you expect to; you are living by the mental script that mandates it. If you have told yourself that you’re not good at relating to other people or maintaining long-term relationships, your subconscious is working to fulfill those thought patterns. If it hears you say, “Oh, I always feel so awkward in large groups of people,” then guess what? You’ll dread the next social gathering you’re invited to and then not enjoy it once you’re there.

On the other hand, if you shift what you say when you talk to yourself and instead think things like, “I love being with and talking with the people in my life. I’m thankful that I am able to connect with others and express myself clearly” or “I’m open to relationships. I’m comfortable being myself and accepting others for who they are,” then the way you engage with other people will change. Your subconscious will follow the new instructions and turn them into reality just as easily as it followed the old. With some time and repetition, it really is that simple.

* Are you sabotaging relationships with your own self-talk? Do you have negative self-talk for friend group relationships? Relationships with family? Relationship with your spouse? How can you begin to rectify this negative self-talk?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy

‘For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:10 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/EPH.2.10

‘So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.’ Genesis 1:27 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/GEN.1.27

‘Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you? ‘ 1 Corinthians 3:16(NLT)

‘See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. ‘ 1 John 3:1(NLT)

Every accomplishment in your life—whether it’s how well you do in school, what level you ascend to in your professional life, or how you manage your household—is directly linked to how you feel about yourself, to whether or not you think you are capable and worthy of living life at the highest level. And what defines your evaluation of your own capabilities and worth? What you say about yourself when you talk to yourself. Or as author Stephen Covey likes to put it, the “mental script” from which you operate.

Your mental script has been developing since the day you were born. It began with what your parents said to you. If your parents, intentionally or otherwise, made comments that led you to believe you weren’t smart enough, cute enough, or good enough, those hurtful words and the emotions that accompany them started setting the foundation for how you see yourself. Along the way, friends, teachers, and personal experiences have built on that foundation, shaping how you think about yourself and thereby shaping what you think you can do and be in this world. After all, what you believe about yourself determines how you feel about yourself; how you feel about yourself dictates your daily actions; and your daily actions added up over time determine your level of accomplishment in the areas of life that are important to you.

When you and I wake up to this reality, we can begin to filter the contents of our mental script through the sieve of truth, keeping what’s beneficial and discarding what’s not—a process that’s at the full potential God has put in us. If we don’t we will end up living out our stories based on the incomplete and often inaccurate scripts that have been handed to us by others.

You get to decide what mental script you allow to direct your thoughts and dictate your days—the script that has come to you from well-intentioned but often misguided people speaking out of their own poor scripts, or a script based on the true identity God has given you. Choose wisely; your decision will determine the directives your subconscious mind receives and thereby control the direction and quality of your life.

* Which script are you following? How can you move toward the script God gave you?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy

‘Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. ‘ Colossians 4:2(NLT)

‘O Lord , you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord .’ Psalms 139:1-4(NLT)

I have an engineer friend who, as part of his job, regularly oversees the development of large residential buildings in different parts of the country. Every time he starts a new project, he spends an incredible amount of time with the architect who designed the building. They go over plans and blueprints together ad nauseam. There’s no way my friend would set out on a new building project without being crystal clear on what the designer had in mind. That would be crazy. If he failed to follow the blueprints of the person with the complete vision for the job, disaster would be right around the corner.

Even so, that’s how millions of people go about building their lives. They forge ahead with what they think is in their best interest, neglecting to consult the one who has the blueprint. But there’s no reason to barrel ahead blindly. By choosing to talk with God every day, you place yourself in a position where he can show you the best possible plan for your life and give you what you need to live it out.

Let me be clear, though: Prayer is not ultimately about God being available to you. It’s about you being available to God; it’s about letting him know that you are ready and willing for him to shape your life. As you admit your dependence on him and acknowledge that his plan is bigger and better than your own, you open the door for him to work in your life. Some of the most powerful, most life-transforming words you can ever speak are, “God, I need you. Please show me the path you want me to walk.” God won’t force himself on you, but if you’ll engage in the conversation, he’ll be sure to carry his end of it.

* How is your prayer life? Are you prayers mostly you-centric, or do they admit dependence upon God the creator? How will your prayer life change after reading this?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy

‘So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)

‘Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:24-25(NLT)

Every person you walk by on the street or pass at the bank or stand beside in the grocery store line may as well be wearing an invisible sign that reads, “Encourage me.” All people need encouragement, even if they don’t want to admit it. In fact, it’s usually the ones who won’t admit it—the ones who walk around with the biggest scowls on their faces—who need encouragement the most. And you have the ability to give them exactly what they need. As you begin speaking from a God-focused heart, encouraging words will come naturally. You will begin seeing other people as God sees them, which will make you want to encourage them to grow in that direction.

One of my favorite quotations comes from Goethe and speaks to this truth:


“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”

That is the essence of encouragement—treating the people in your life as the best possible versions of themselves, whether they are currently living up to that standard or not.

What if you practiced speaking encouragement to your spouse, your children, or your friends? Instead of focusing on what they do wrong and nitpicking their faults, what if you started treating them as if they already were all they could be? What if your words grew out of the vision of their fulfilled potential instead of their current reality? You would begin to see them grow and flourish in ways you never imagined. Those are the kind of words that have the power to affect people for a lifetime. Trust me, the people in your life already know what their problems and weaknesses are; they don’t need you to tell them. When you become a source of encouragement to them rather than a faultfinder and self-appointed problem-fixer, you are cooperating with God in building them into who he wants them to be.

* Do you find yourself being a faultfinder or an encourager? What are some ways that you can become a more encouraging person?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy

‘But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.’ Luke 12:48(NLT)

‘The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.’ Proverbs 18:21(NLT)

To start changing things for the better, we first need to recognize three essential truths about the nature of words. If we can begin to work these truths into our thinking, they will help us steer away from words that bring death and toward words that create life.

1. Words are a gift from God
The ability to use words at all is a gift that has been given to all us by our Creator. As such, we have a responsibility to use our words well. As we’ve seen, God was the first one to harness the creative force of words;and he has entrusted us with the same ability to use words to create the world around us. Given the substantial nature of this gift, we can’t just throw our words around any old way we please; they contain too much power. The only acceptable response to the gift we’ve been given is to show respect to the Giver by using it well.

2. Words can build up or tear down
As a kid, you probably chanted the phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I know I did. With a little age and experience, we come to realize that even though it sounds good in theory, the phrase is just plain wrong. Words can hurt. I bet you don’t have any problem remembering the last harsh words that were spoken to you or the last encouraging words you received. Other people’s words can have an incredible impact on us, whether we want them to or not. They have the ability to create the atmosphere of our lives. They also have the ability to create atmosphere for others.

3. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your words
The way you choose to communicate will ultimately affect every area of your life. Words aren’t neutral. Every word that goes out has a consequence attached to it. How you speak to your friends, family members, and coworkers will determine the quality of those relationships. Your internal dialogue with yourself will determine the quality of your actions and interactions each day. It naturally follows that the quality of your life is determined by the words you speak.

* Have you ever thought about the power of words in this manner? Why or why not?

from Tongue Pierced by Nelson Searcy