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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Knowing What Matters

‘She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left.’ Proverbs 3:16(NLT)

‘“So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. ‘ Joshua 24:14(NLT)

‘“And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.’ Luke 12:29-31(NLT)

‘“You must not have any other god but me.’ Exodus 20:3(NLT)

Devotional Content

If someone asked me what the most important things are in my life, I would give the “right” answer: God, marriage, family, work—in that order. Yet, if you looked at my calendar where I enter everything that I have to do each week, it might tell a different story. I know that if I do not purposely set aside time to spend with Nancy each day, our marriage suffers. I need time with her—both quality time and quantity time. It keeps us connected.

What story would your calendar tell? If you and your spouse sat down together and looked at your calendars, what would you see? How do you spend your time? What do your calendars say about your values and your priorities? Do you purposefully set aside time for your marriage?

The contents of your calendar are a dead giveaway as to what’s really important in your life.

Today’s Challenge: Write out your priorities in order of importance to you.

Going Deeper:

1. What does your calendar say about your priorities?

2. Define both quality of time and quantity of time. Which is most important to you? Do you need a balance of both?

3. How much time do you need to set aside for your spouse each day?

4. Circle any of the following that get in the way of time with your spouse. How can you better balance your time?

  • Children
  • Friends
  • Work
  • Hobbies
  • TV
  • Social Media

5. Did you notice in question 4 that none of the things that were listed were bad things? The key is balance. What is your first step in getting balance into your life?

from The Foundation

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Regaining the Balance

‘For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.’ Ecclesiastes 3:1(NLT)

‘You already know these things, dear friends. So be on guard; then you will not be carried away by the errors of these wicked people and lose your own secure footing. ‘ 2 Peter 3:17(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Balance is one of my favorite words, probably because I have to work so hard to keep my life in balance. Marriages are negatively affected by husbands and wives who are living chaotic, unbalanced lives. In order for a marriage to run smoothly, both a husband and wife need to regain balance in their personal lives.

Balance means keeping all the parts of my life in their proper places. It means giving priority to what matters most. For me, that means my relationship with God comes first, my marriage second, my family third. Life really runs great for me when I prioritize this way; and it really can spiral downward quickly when I do not. Often life itself and the demands that come to me each day knock me out of balance, so I have to take many “time-outs” to make sure that I am in balance.

What does balance mean to you? What are your priorities, and what prevents you from keeping them in the right order? Here’s a suggestion for balancing your life: Write out your list of priorities in the order of importance to you. Then make a list of all the things that can get you off balance. Keep your lists together in a place where you will see them often. Make a habit of taking a “time-out” each week to look at your lists. I think by doing that, you will be amazed how much easier it is to stay in balance.

Taking a “time-out” to set priorities straight is important for regaining balance in marriage.

Today’s Challenge:

Take a “time-out” today to begin adding more balance to your life!

Going deeper:

1. What does “staying in balance” mean to you as you live your life?

2. Is your life balanced today? _________ Yes _________ No.

3. What do you need to do to keep your life balanced or to put it in balance?

4. List your top four priorities in order from top to bottom.

5. What are the things that get you off balance?

from The Foundation

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Readjusting Expectations

‘And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.’ Philippians 4:19(NLT)

‘Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. ‘ 2 Corinthians 12:9(NLT)

‘But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”’ John 4:14(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Think about what would make you happy in terms of your marriage relationship. Does knowing that God sent you this man or this woman who is perfect for you make you happy? Is your spouse enough? From a fantasy of marriage perspective, the answer to these questions would be yes. But from a realistic perspective, the answer is no.

There was a time in our marriage when we both bought into the fantasy that we could make each other happy. As time went on, it was killing us. We were heading for disaster. Finally we got it. We realized that our expectations had been unrealistic. In my marriage, if Nancy looked to me to complete her—to make her happy—I would fail. There are times I do make her happy, but not all the time. I am human and make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I hit home runs and sometimes I strike out.

The reality is that a spouse is not designed to meet every need—that job is already taken by God. Expecting Nancy to meet all my needs sets her up for failure. But if I let God meet all the needs that He wants to meet in my life, then that allows Nancy to meet the needs He has designed her to meet in my life. That works. That is the way God designed it.

Today’s Challenge:

Think about what you can do today to begin allowing God to meet the needs in your life that He wants to meet.

Going deeper:

1. In your marriage, what would make you happy?

2. What are the expectations you have for your spouse in marriage? List them and then decide if they are realistic or not.

3. How does it affect you and your marriage when your spouse “strikes out”?

4. What is the difference in letting God meet the needs He wants in your life and expecting your spouse to meet all your needs?

5. What is your first step in letting God meet your needs?

from The Foundation

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Placing God at the Center

‘And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. ‘ 2 Corinthians 9:8(NLT)

‘Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. ‘ Ephesians 3:20(NLT)

‘God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you; unfailing love, O Lord, is yours. Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.’ Psalms 62:11-12(NLT)

‘But the Lord made the earth by his power, and he preserves it by his wisdom. With his own understanding he stretched out the heavens.’ Jeremiah 10:12(NLT)

Devotional Content:

In our home, we have a number of electrical outlets. Many of them have the cords of electric lamps plugged into them. Behind those electrical outlets is all the power of our electric company. The amount of power that is there is incredible. But if I do not turn on a lamp, the room remains dark. With all that power, nothing happens until I do something.

The same is true in your marriage. You have all the power of the God who created the universe. His power is endless. He designed marriage in general and your marriage in particular. He can make your marriage into something truly beautiful, but you have to invite Him in.

God has a plan for your marriage. He has the answers that you do not have. He wants to be the center of your marriage. Are you allowing Him to do that? Or are there things that are keeping you from putting God at the center? Are you ready as a couple to invite Him in and see what He will do? If so, there are some practical things you can do to get started:

  • Find a good church and go—every week.
  • Pray for your relationship and for each other every day. Keep it simple. You can pray together or separately—just focus on the same things.
  • Read the Bible together. You do not have to be Bible scholars. Pick a book and read a few verses together. Talk together about what you read.

That’s it. Try these things for sixty days and see what happens. I promise you that God will show up. God wants to be a part of your relationship. Now is the time to begin to let Him do that. It will grow you closer to each other and to Him. Are you ready to see what God will do?

Today’s Challenge:

God shows up in marriages when husbands and wives invite Him in. Take that step together today!

Going deeper:

1. What does having the power of the God who created the universe on your side mean to you and your marriage?

2. How would you answer this question: Does God have a plan for your marriage?

3. What is keeping you from putting God first in your marriage?

4. Which of these “ways of putting God first” are you as a couple prepared to commit to for the next 60 days (circle all that apply):

5. Begin keeping a simple journal for 60 days focusing on what you see God doing in your marriage.

  • Find a church and begin regular attendance.
  • Pray daily for your spouse and your marriage.
  • Read the Bible together.

from The Foundation

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Setting the Standard

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. ‘ Romans 12:1(NLT)

‘Commit everything you do to the Lord . Trust him, and he will help you.’ Psalms 37:5(NLT)

‘If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.’ 1 Corinthians 13:1-13(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Far too many couples place the bar precariously low when choosing their standard for what they expect in marriage. This sets them up for failure. Popular acceptance of divorce as an “easy out,” prenuptial agreements, lack of preparation before marriage, fear of commitment, and disregard for God’s plan for marriage are all among the many things that help to lower the standard for marriage and fill this world with more and more divorces. When couples arbitrarily choose how far they will carry their marriage commitments, they lower the standard for their marriage.

Marriage is such a serious, binding relationship between a man and a woman, and every married couple who desires a lasting commitment must set a high standard for their marriage that is in line with God’s design for marriage. God intended marriage to be a gift to us and something that we should cherish. But this gift is not to be taken lightly. Marriage begins with a commitment to God and another person. It is not a commitment for an hour, a day, a month, or a few years. It is a commitment for life. Raising the standard for marriage is agreeing to give 100 percent to your marriage. It is saying that you will go through all that life brings your way—together. It is saying that the three of you are committed—you, your spouse, and God. It is having a no-quit attitude. It is being willing to fight for your marriage. If you can raise the bar and aim high for God’s plan for your marriage, the chances of your having a successful marriage are great.

Today’s Challenge:

The highest standard for your marriage has already been set by God; reaffirm your commitment to that as your standard today!

Going deeper:

1. Which of these do you think lower the standard of commitment to marriage? (circle your choices):

2. How would you define “setting a high standard” for marriage?

3. Name three things you can do to show a 100% commitment to your marriage.

4. How can you bring God and His plan for marriage into your life together?

5. What is the difference in “fighting in your marriage” and “fighting for your marriage.”

from The Foundation