Tag: Restoring Relationships

‘My people are being destroyed because they don’t know me. Since you priests refuse to know me, I refuse to recognize you as my priests. Since you have forgotten the laws of your God, I will forget to bless your children.’ Hosea 4:6(NLT)

‘Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things? “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.’ Luke 12:22-34(NLT)

Relationship experts say that communication, sex, and money are the three greatest areas of struggle in most relationships. But, like a tripod with missing legs, many people think that sex and money are outside their heavenly Father’s purview. The Bible says more about sex and money than most other subjects. 

You have heard it said, “What you do not know won’t hurt you.” Hosea 4:6 states, “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.” The truth is, what you do not know is destroying you. 

No one can be expected to know more about a product than the manufacturer. If things are not working for you in your life, it is probably because you are not following the manufacturer’s instruction manual. This Sunday around eleven o’clock in the morning, pull yourself into a shop and let a manufacturer’s authorized dealer look under the hood. Remember, as with most products, if you do not use an authorized agent, it will void the warranty. Get your oil change and let them replace your filters and fill you up with the fuel you need to be successful in life. 

What areas of your life have you mistakenly considered outside your heavenly Father’s purview?

from Restoring Relationships Dr. Derek Grier

‘Then God gave the people all these instructions : “I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. “You must not have any other god but me. “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands. “You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God. The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name. “Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy. “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. “You must not murder. “You must not commit adultery. “You must not steal. “You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.”’ Exodus 20:1-8,10-17(NLT)

‘“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? ‘ Matthew 7:1-3(NLT)

The first thing I do when I get to my office in the morning is write my “things to do” list. It helps keep me on track for the day. However, as my responsibilities have grown, I have learned that I need not only create my “to do” list. I also need a “not to do” list. This is also true at home.

· Item #1: Don’t answer my wife too quickly when she talks to me. Listen first. Then speak.

· Item #2: Don’t comment so much about petty things. Give my sons more space.

· Item #3: Stop eating so much junk food for lunch. How about eating more lunches that contain some broccoli, spinach, or cabbage? 

This sounds really basic, but the concept has changed my life. Remember, most of the Ten Commandments begin with “Thou shalt not.” So remember to balance your “things to do” list with a “things not to do” list. The results will amaze you. 

from Restoring Relationships Dr. Derek Grier

‘But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.”’ Matthew 8:8-9(NLT)

‘Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves. “You have stayed with me in my time of trial. And just as my Father has granted me a Kingdom, I now grant you the right to eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom. And you will sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.’ Luke 22:24-30(NLT)

While I watched a famous Mafia movie, I noticed that, when life-and-death decisions were made, the godfather did not shout, jump up and down, or even turn red. He usually spoke just above a whisper. I have noticed people who are really in charge do not have to go through a bunch of gyrations to get results. All they have to do is say the word.

In Matthew 8, a Roman soldier says to Jesus, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I, myself, am a man under authority, with soldiers under me.” In other words, this soldier understood power. He didn’t need to see a lightning bolt or feel the ground shake. He just needed the word spoken from someone who had the authority.

This truth really hit home for me when the Lord spoke to me after getting frustrated with my two children. He said, “If you have authority, you do not have to yell.” Oops. Our society likes to put emphasis on those who make calls, give orders, and exhibit the “Type A,” dominant characteristics of a leader. However, this isn’t the leadership model we see in the Bible.

At the last supper, Jesus said, “The greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.” The Son of God, who had more authority than anyone else, demonstrated and solidified it by washing His disciples’ feet. Let’s reframe our concept of authority, and how it is played out, as we lead our families. 

from Restoring Relationships Dr. Derek Grier

‘or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:5(NLT)

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ‘ Ephesians 5:22-23(NLT)

When my wife and I were married, we were so in love. We expected the fairy tale, but instead, it seemed like the beginning of a nuclear war. We were both convinced God had us fall in love to punish us for sins future and past. She did not live up to my expectations. I did not meet hers. I responded by constantly criticizing her, and she responded by nagging and withholding affection.

The vicious cycle soon spun out of control until we realized a vital truth: we were in the same boat, and if we wanted to survive, we both needed to bail out water. It finally dawned on me that if she lost, I lost. She began to realize my loss was her loss. We decided to change our mindsets. Instead of always trying to win, both of us began to make sure the other person was always the winner.

This little change caused our marriage to take on a strength that has endured 25 years. It was no longer about what I wanted from her but what I wanted for her, and vice versa. This unlocked the practical power of 1 Corinthians 13:5. We discovered that love is simply looking for the win-win formula in every situation.

What about you? In your marriage, how do you respond when your spouse does not meet your expectations? Love is not about getting something but about giving something, as Christ gave Himself for us. Can you recall a situation in your marriage or relationship in which you compromised and you both won?

from Restoring Relationships Dr. Derek Grier

‘The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.’ Proverbs 15:28(NLT)

‘A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.’ Proverbs 15:1(NLT)

‘Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.’ Proverbs 16:24(NLT)

John Maxwell, leadership expert, states, “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” In other words, before you attempt to direct, you must connect.

One day, my younger brother and I had a heated disagreement over the phone. After I got off the phone, my conscience was bothering me, and I defended myself, thinking, I know I was right. Instantly, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. “You were right. But were you kind?”

Often, it’s the way in which we present our side of the argument that makes the difference between our audience truly hearing us or not. We may be saying all the right things, but presenting them in an unloving, harsh, or bitter way. We must be sure to examine our motives in advising others. Are we trying to control them, or best them in some way? Or rather, as Christ does, are we attempting to persuade them in love to make the best choice for everyone involved? 

Sometimes, winning the argument is not as important as maintaining a relationship. Think before you speak. Think today about whether or not there are relationships in your life that have been damaged by your impulsive speech. What will it take to restore them? At the end of the day, you can never be responsible for what another person says or does. What you’re accountable for to God, though, is your thoughts, words, actions, and motives. Ask God to examine your heart today, and bring anything to your attention that doesn’t line up with Him.

from Restoring Relationships Dr. Derek Grier