Tag: Relationships Of The Kingdom – A Plan On Marriage

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord . “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”’ Jeremiah 29:11-14(NLT)

‘My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Proverbs 4:20-23(NLT)

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:1-2(NLT)

Dating can sometimes be a confusing time. It can also be a time of great learning and friendship. Amidst the shifting sands that dating can present, we must remember God’s promise: ‘For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’

God has good plans for you. They are not plans for your failure or defeat. They are plans to ‘prosper you’. They are not average or mediocre plans. They are ‘good, pleasing and perfect’ (Jeremiah 29:11).

We can give our anxiety for our future to God and rest in the knowledge that the same one who brought the stars into being knows us intimately and has a plan for each of us. God will not force his plans on you, but he requires your cooperation. If you want his plans to be fulfilled in your life, you need to seek him. He promises that, if you do so, you will find him (Jeremiah 29:13–14b). As you spend time with God, be led by him into the good plans he has (29:14).

However, sometimes we also need advice on what to do whilst dating. What should be my priorities whilst dating? Who should I be dating? Paul writes, ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy [because of all that Jesus has done for us through the sacrifice of himself on the cross], to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship’ (Romans 12:1, AMP). God wants you to offer all of yourself and all of your life – your time, ambitions, possessions, ears, mouths, relationships, and sexuality – as well as your mind, emotions and attitudes. Paul’s description of a living sacrifice also reminds us that you have to continue offering your life as a sacrifice to God, offering the whole of your life for the whole of your life. 

As Eugene Peterson translates it in The Message, ‘Take your every day, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering’ (Romans 1:1, MSG). And in all things, the writer of Proverbs urges us, ‘live wisely’. You have a part to play in responding to God’s call, staying on his paths, living wisely and thereby making something beautiful out of your life. You can choose what you think about. The life you lead will flow from your heart. ‘Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life’ (Proverbs 4:23). You are to fill your heart with good things – especially the words of God (4:20–21). They bring ‘life’ and ‘health’ (4:22). Think about ‘things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy’ (Philippians 4:8). 

from Relationships Of The Kingdom – A Plan On Marriage, Dating And Singleness

‘Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord , and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord . Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord , and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.’ Psalms 37:3-7(NLT)

‘I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord .’ Hosea 2:19-20(NLT)

‘Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.” Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry Let anyone accept this who can.”’ Matthew 19:8-12(NLT)

Singleness can often be a source of blessing and a source of pain rolled into one. It is also hard not to feel it is just a transitional stage. We can feel afraid and panicked about singleness, but our reading from this psalm reminds us to turn to God, bring him our fears, and ‘trust in the Lord’ (Psalm 37:3). Faith is trust. It is the opposite of fear and panic. 

Knowing that we always have someone we can turn to in our decision-making is so helpful: ‘Commit your way to the Lord’ (Psalm 37:5). This is the key to guidance. Bring the decision to God, ask him to act and trust in him. 

Trusting God in our decisions is a simple three-part process. First, committing the decision to God in prayer, asking him to open the doors that are right for you, and to close the ones that are not right. Second, trusting that he is in control. Third, watching in faith for him to act as you continue on your ‘way’, in the expectation that he will. 

In the book of Hosea, we see that God also longs for you to be living in a relationship with him, as close as that of a husband and a wife. He says, ‘I am now going to allure her’ (Hosea 2:14a). He takes her into a desert (this is so often the place where God’s voice is heard) and speaks tenderly. ‘“In that day,” declares the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’… I will betroth you to me for ever”’ (2:16,19).

This foreshadows the relationship of Jesus to his church. God promises a new love relationship between him and his people (Hosea 2:19–20). They will know (acknowledge) the Lord. Whether single or not, this relationship with God is the most profound relationship we can ever hope to kindle, maintain and fuel.

In the reading from Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus directly speaks of three types of singleness. First, genetic – ‘they were born that way’ (Matthew 19:12a) and ‘never give marriage a thought’ (MSG). Second, there is involuntary singleness (19:12b) – those who ‘never get asked or accepted’ (MSG). Third, there is voluntary singleness – those who ‘decide not to get married for kingdom reasons’ (19:12, MSG). Singleness can be temporary or permanent, but it is never regarded in the New Testament as second best. Both marriage and singleness are high callings and, according to the New Testament, there are advantages and disadvantages to both. 

As we read these passages today, may we know God’s pursuit of our affections and be filled with his everlasting, loving Spirit, which makes this relationship possible through Jesus. 

from Relationships Of The Kingdom – A Plan On Marriage, Dating And Singleness

‘“At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:23-24(NLT)

‘Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.’ Song of Songs 8:6-7(NLT)

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ‘ Ephesians 5:22-23(NLT)

In the beginning God gave to humankind everything they could possibly want. The whole created world was made for us to enjoy. Every possible need was catered for. The pinnacle of God’s creation was humankind. The need for community was solved by the creation of other human beings: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.’

It started with the beautiful gift of marriage; the lifelong union of a man and a woman in which sex – another of God’s beautiful gifts – is to be enjoyed with intimacy and freedom, without guilt or shame. 

God is love and we know he is because of all he does.

The word ‘love’ or ‘lover’ appears over and over again in the Song of Songs. It is all about romantic love between a lover and his beloved. They are overcome by love for one another. The beloved says that she is ‘faint with love’.

There is a strong element of physical and erotic love. Both describe the physical beauty of their marriage partner. As one commentator put it, ‘the Song of Songs is a long, lyric poem about erotic love and sexual desire – a poem in which the body is the object of desire and source of delight, and lovers engage in a continual game of seeking and finding… sexual gratification.’ But their love goes way beyond the physical and the erotic. The beloved says, ‘This is my lover, this is my friend’. There is nothing better in marriage than having someone as your partner, your lover and your best friend. The lover says, ‘Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm’ (Song of Songs 8:6). The desire of God for his people is the same as this idea of the love held between husband and wife. 

In Ephesians we find that mutual respect is the key to a happy marriage. The key words in verses 21– 33 are ‘respect’, ‘love’ and ‘submit’. The overall heading for this section is ‘out of reverence for Christ’. 

The word ‘submit’ is different from the word ‘obey’ (Ephesians 5:22). Submission is voluntarily yielding in love. It is a beautiful characteristic and it is clear from the overall heading, ‘Submit to one another’ that Paul expects mutual submission. This teaching would have been a revolutionary concept in first-century culture. Respect is the key to a good relationship between the sexes. 

As we read these passages today, may God give us his Spirit so that we may imitate Jesus in all our relationships, whether married, engaged, or single. 

from Relationships Of The Kingdom – A Plan On Marriage, Dating And Singleness