Tag: Reducing Transitional Stress In Marriage

‘For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. ‘ Philippians 4:13(NLT)

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ‘ Romans 8:28(NLT)

The final techniques we want you to apply as you go through transitional stress is, firstly, to remember to always encourage each other in the Lord. Philippians 4:13 tells us, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” Remind yourself of this. Remind your spouse of this. Rehearse it in your thoughts and words, if need be, knowing that the result on the other side of the change you currently face is intended by God to bring you both good in your relationship, and not harm (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28). 

When you decide to embrace the transitional stress rather than fight it, being open to change – letting go of what is in the past and anticipating the new – you will, like an athlete committed to strength-training, enjoy the results the right response to stress can produce.

The last technique (but not the least) is to pray. Always pray. We’ve written a few guided prayers to get you going but commit yourself to praying throughout the entire transition for your marriage. 

Praise God First

“Heavenly Father, You are a God who changes not. Despite the transitions around me, You are the One who remains constant. You are ever-present and always reliable. Thank You for Your consistency in a life that fluctuates, often like the wind. 

I praise You for the ability You have given to me and to us in our marriage to rely on You. Your character is solid. Your Word true. Your presence steadfast and never lost. Thank You that You offer this to us like a lighthouse in a storm of stress, a beacon in the battling gusts of life’s many unknowns. In Christ’s name, amen.”

Present Your Situation to God

Use this time of prayer to acknowledge any transitional stress which may have become a part of your marriage or home. It could be work-change, a change in your financial situation, a move or a change in family dynamics such as a new baby or graduation of a child. Whatever the change or changes may be, your awareness of them and how they impact your emotional, spiritual and physical capacity and make-up will help to reduce any negative impact they bring into your marriage. Write out any specific transitions or failures to respond positively to transitions that you would like to see the Lord intervene in and work out for good.

Pray for God’s Intervention

“Gracious Lord, help our marriage relationship to grow more deeper and stronger as a result of any transitional stress we experience. Give us a greater respect for each other through the process of going through changes together. Show us how to accommodate each other’s lower energy levels, rather than to feel neglected or rejected by them. 

Teach us how to truly encourage one another whether it’s through words, patience, a gentle touch, gifts or whatever it may be. Open our hearts and our eyes toward each other’s needs during this season so that we can be more mindful to seek to meet them. 

And help us also to show ourselves grace by allowing rest when we need it too. Let us not lose any humor, joy or mutual attraction but rather increase it as we pursue the positive results of transitional stress together through knowing that Your intended outcome is for our good. In Christ’s name, amen.”

from Reducing Transitional Stress In Marriage

‘A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.’ Proverbs 15:1(NLT)

Other techniques for strengthening your marriage through the inevitability of transition include intentionally lightening the mood or atmosphere, whether through fun music, humor, witty banter or simply letting each other’s more tired emotions roll off your back. Don’t take every response personal. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Show grace. 

Understand that they are experiencing change and their non-verbal or even their tone may simply reflect their momentary stress, and not be directed or caused by you. In short, just as you would recognize a weight-lifter’s inability to carry on an in-depth conversation with you due to the current needs of the workout, be aware that transitional stress depletes emotional and physical energy as well. 

Adjust your expectations and demands of each other to that reality.

Another technique includes verbalizing or even internalizing the positives. Rather than focusing on the loss, change or adjustments – look for ways to emphasize your highest values – whether they be each other, family, the things that have gone well or the hope of the future. 

Continuing to speak about negative emotions or events will only reinforce them. What you speak transforms what you think. More so, what you say to each other – and how you say it – will affect how the transitional stress either grows or damages your relationship. Remember the wisdom of God’s Word: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” (Proverbs 15:1).

from Reducing Transitional Stress In Marriage

‘For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.’ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8(NLT)

Life comes with transition. Whether it’s a new job, new house, new child or grandchild and even something as small as a new hairstyle, we face change throughout our lives. Some of us are more adept at change. Others of us resist it. Some of us can adapt quickly. Others resist it. Some change brings positivity. Other change causes loss. If we were honest, even age changes us. There’s nothing we can do to avoid this inevitable aspect of life. 

One thing that will never change about life and marriage is that there will always be change.

Understanding how to approach change emotionally, spiritually and mentally can allow transition to transform our marriage into something stronger and more viable than ever before. Contrary to popular belief, stress doesn’t have to be a negative thing. How you and your spouse view stress, as well as how you choose to respond to it, has everything to do with whether it leaves a positive or undesirable imprint on your home. God has gifted us with the ability to decide how we react to life’s transition.

Did you know that the muscles in your body become stronger during rest not during the workout, or the stress? What the stress on your muscles does is break down the muscle protein that exists in your body structure. But the actual development of stronger muscles takes place as your body rests. When your body has the opportunity to repair and replace the damaged muscle fibers by fusing muscle fibers together to create new myofibrils, it builds tougher, more resilient, muscles. A body builder who doesn’t take the time to respond to his or her workout through adequate rest will actually slow down the process of developing strength and endurance through greater muscle mass. 

Likewise, how we respond to transitions and, even more importantly, how we allow our spouses to respond to transition will determine whether the stress of the transitions will strengthen us or, rather, weaken us over time. We must be willing to view the stress of transition as a developmental process and necessary part of life. We also must be willing to provide the space necessary for what stress may produce in ourselves, and each other – times of lessened energy, distracted focus or lowered emotions. Placing unrealistic expectations or demands on ourselves or each other to keep our affection or even our mood consistently heightened during transition may only lead to disappointment. Give time for the transition while seeking to solidify and focus on core values such as mutual respect, kindness, fortuity and service. 

from Reducing Transitional Stress In Marriage