Tag: One: A Marriage Devotional

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.’ Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov. 3:5-6)

There is a dangerous dynamic that sets up in many marriages. I call it the teeter-totter syndrome. It is based upon the dynamic where we naturally respond to our spouse’s behavior. When one spouse moves to an unhealthy or extreme position, the other spouse will almost always adjust to the other extreme to protect themselves and the relationship.

Imagine two people sitting face-to-face in the middle of a teeter-totter on a playground. They are close and their weight is balanced. But what happens if one of them moves backwards? You know how it works. On a teeter-totter, everything the other person does on their side affects you on your side—just like marriage.

If the other person on a teeter-totter moves backwards, then you also have to move backwards to keep the balance. If they continue to move backwards, you have to keep moving.

The way it works in real life is like this: one spouse is out of control in their spending so the other spouse has to go to extremes to try to protect the money. One spouse is distant with the kids and won’t discipline them, so the other spouse has to become the disciplinarian and full-time attendant. One spouse becomes a religious fanatic and tries to enforce a legalistic environment in the home, so the other spouse fights to keep some fun and balance.

Our natural response when we perceive a wrong move on our spouse’s part is to adjust accordingly to a “balancing” position. This is the teeter-totter syndrome. Almost all couples have experienced it, but there is a way to avoid it.

The answer is threefold. The first step is loving communication and pursuit. Talk to your spouse about their behavior and tell them you feel a distance. Don’t react and create even more distance.

The second step is to take responsibility for your own actions. Remember, you began face-to-face in the middle of the teeter-totter. If you’ve moved, you’re wrong. Be humble and realize that some of your spouse’s actions could have been in response to your moving away.

The third step is to get help. If you can’t resolve an issue on your own, don’t sit by as your marriage grows more distant and the problems more dangerous. Get help. Be willing to get
advice and take it. Don’t be satisfied until you are sitting faceto-face again. Remember, that is where you started, and the best times in your marriage are spent right there!

Talk It Out | Have you experienced the teeter-totter syndrome in your marriage? Talk about anything that has gotten out of balance and how you can bring it back into balance.

Walk It Out | Do an activity together that requires balance—skating, bike riding, or walking on a narrow path. Compare how different factors can make you lose your balance (wind or other weather elements, distractions, losing focus). Talk about how this applies to other situations in your marriage and life.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord .’ Psalms 139:4(NLT)

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. (Psalm 139:4 NIV)

For the first fifteen years of our marriage, money was the most difficult subject for us to discuss. Today, money is a blessing and we can talk about it without any friction. Let me tell you two things we did that helped us in this area.

First, we submitted our finances to the Lord. Before making decisions, we pray. We don’t try to dominate each other or “win” arguments over money. We both realize that if we pray and find God’s will, He will bless us and we won’t fight.

Second, we began to honor each other’s money language. In the bad days of our marriage I would call Karen a tightwad and she would call me a spendthrift. We each see money very
differently and it caused us to argue and accuse each other.

Then one day I read an article by financial psychologist Kenneth Doyle about the four different money languages. Each of us has a predominant money language that affects our perceptions and decisions. The four money languages are:

Driver – Money means success. A driver says “I love you” by buying things and showing you through material objects you are important to them. Obviously, taken too far this can become materialistic and non-relational.

Analytic – Money means security. Analytics say “I love you” through saving and planning for the future. Taken too far they can become miserable, no fun and controlling. They can also communicate more value for money than people.

Amiable – Money means love. An amiable says “I love you” by sharing and giving. Without balance and wisdom, an amiable can be impulsive and unprepared for the future.

Expressive – Money means acceptance. Expressives say “I love you” by buying, showing and sharing. Taken too far, expressives use money the way some people use alcohol—to deal with pain and anxiety in a wrong manner.

When reading these descriptions, most couples are able to immediately identify themselves and their spouses. Approximately eighty percent of all couples have different money languages. Understanding these differences helps you identify the strengths and weaknesses you both have, and it can actually help you make better money decisions because you are able to balance each other’s perspective.

Talk It Out | Identify which money language you think describes you and share that with each other. Talk about the ways you can balance each other’s tendencies when making financial decisions.

Walk It Out | Set aside a certain amount of money to help someone. Ask God to show you a family or individual whom you could bless by giving them a gift card or buying a specific item they need but can’t afford.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.
Paul’s Final Instructions
But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses. ‘ 1 Timothy 6:9-12(NLT)

Now godliness with contentment is great gain. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil… (1 Timothy 6:6, 9-10)

In the verses above, the Apostle Paul gave Timothy a warning about money. He began by talking about the issue of contentment. Contentment is the opposite of greed. A spirit of contentment is crucial in financial success because it is able to wait for things. Also, as it waits, it is thankful to God for what He has already provided. Contentment does not mean you don’t want more. It just means that as you pray and believe God for more, you trust Him for His provision as you thank
Him for all He has done in the past.

Without contentment, you are driven to get more and many times take for granted what God has done. Even worse, discontentment is often unthankful and negative about present circumstances. That is offensive to God and is an attitude He won’t bless. Even though He always loves you, He is like any good parent. He rewards thankfulness and obedience and won’t reward bad attitudes and rebellion.

The fruit of discontentment is debt, division in your marriage and being deceived into believing that money and material objects will fulfill you. The worst result of discontentment is the loss of intimacy with God. Because you are not thankful and dependent upon Him, money becomes your god and replaces the Lord as the object of your attention, affection and trust.

Paul also warned Timothy that people who desire to be rich fall into temptations and snares that lead to destruction. You need to realize that God wants to bless you financially. Wealth is a blessing from God. The issue is not that God does not want you to be rich. The issue is that money should not be the chief goal of your life and the love of money should not overshadow your love for God. The number one desire of your life should be to please God and obey His will.

God wants to bless you and give you your heart’s desires. He is a good God. However, God blesses you as you thank Him daily for what He has done and maintain a spirit of contentment. You unashamedly pray and plan for more, but are willing to wait until He guides and provides.
This is the secret of a financially blessed marriage.

Talk It Out | Thank God for giving you food, covering and the basics of life. Pray together about your financial needs, desires and dreams. As you do this regularly, it will transform your marriage and your relationship with God.

Walk It Out | Put into practice the concept of contentment by blessing someone else. Volunteer at a shelter or soup kitchen, or give a financial gift to a non-profit organization whose cause you believe in.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘“If they listen and obey God, they will be blessed with prosperity throughout their lives. All their years will be pleasant.’ Job 36:11(NLT)

‘He said, “A nobleman was called away to a distant empire to be crowned king and then return. Before he left, he called together ten of his servants and divided among them ten pounds of silver, saying, ‘Invest this for me while I am gone.’ ‘ Luke 19:12-13(NLT)

If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures. (Job 36:11)

I read some marriage research the other day that made me laugh. Apparently someone did a study of married couples in which they asked the husbands and wives separately how much money they earned as a household and how much total wealth they possessed.

The typical husband tended to report that the couple earns 5 percent more income and has 10 percent more total wealth than the typical wife reported.

I laughed when I read that because I thought to myself, “It’s no wonder there is so much conflict in marriage over money. Couples can’t even agree on how much they have!”

One survey indicated that the average family felt that their financial difficulties could all be solved with 25 percent more income. But when income does increase, a family’s wants and expenses seem to increase right along with it.

Many people are surprised to learn that the Bible has a lot to say about these issues. Luke 19:12-13 records a parable of Jesus that has an important message about money management. “Therefore, a certain nobleman went to a distant country to receive a kingdom for himself, and then return. And he called ten of his slaves, and gave them ten minas, and said to them, ‘Do business with this until I come back.’”

The practical application for us is that Jesus is the nobleman, and we are the servants left in charge of certain resources. The lesson we can learn from this story is that God owns everything. It is not my part, your part, the bank’s part, the government’s part—it is all His. Like the nobleman, He gives it to us to “do business with” for an undetermined time.

The ancient Hebrews had a view of life which I believe has been largely lost today. They believed all of life was God’s business. If you were a carpenter, you were an ordained carpenter—God’s carpenter. If you were a fisherman, you were God’s fisherman—and fishing was holy work.

In your marriage, it’s important to establish financial priorities, agree on a budget you both can live with, and then work together to keep the financial ship afloat. When you do this, there is harmony in the area of your finances. Just remember, true prosperity is not wealth. Prosperity is progress toward a predetermined, worthwhile goal.

Talk It Out | Each of you take a sheet of paper and write down, in order of importance, the top five financial goals you would like to achieve. Compare your lists and discuss how you can form one list from the two. Then pray and ask God to bless these goals and help you achieve them.

Walk It Out | This week, come up with a creative way to go on an inexpensive date. Instead of dinner and a movie, take sandwiches to the park, browse a free museum, or visit a local attraction. Think of other ways you can save money toward achieving your financial goals, without sacrificing your time together.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

Unity in the Body
‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all. However, he has given each one of us a special gift through the generosity of Christ. That is why the Scriptures say, “When he ascended to the heights, he led a crowd of captives and gave gifts to his people.” Notice that it says “he ascended.” This clearly means that Christ also descended to our lowly world. And the same one who descended is the one who ascended higher than all the heavens, so that he might fill the entire universe with himself. Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
Living as Children of Light
With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:1-32(NLT)

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

One of the greatest dangers to any marriage is unforgiveness. Without the commitment to forgive and wipe the slate clean on a daily basis, a person’s heart becomes hardened and cynical. Think about how a couple can go from being so in love, standing in front of a preacher getting married, to being so bitter, standing in front of a judge going through an angry divorce. How does it happen? One drop of unforgiveness at a time!

According to Ephesians 4, unforgiveness is an open door for the devil. He uses unresolved anger to accuse your spouse to you. Literally, the person you once were so tender and positive toward now becomes the person you are cynical and hardened toward. Unforgiveness destroys intimacy and passion in the relationship. You end up being withdrawn, sarcastic and negative. These are danger signs of a heart hardened by the accumulating effects of unresolved anger and bitterness.

Forgiving a person simply means that you release them from your judgment concerning a wrong they have done to you. It also means you will in no way punish them for wrongs done but will love them as though they had not done them. It doesn’t mean you should not lovingly confront your spouse and talk your problems out. It just means that regardless of your spouse’s response, you are going to make sure your heart remains pure.

The ultimate reason we forgive is that God has forgiven us. He forgave us when we didn’t deserve it and even died on the cross to make our relationship with Him right. Also, Jesus tells us clearly in the gospels that we cannot be forgiven by God if we will not forgive. Even if we think we are justified in our unforgiveness, He offers no exceptions. The penalties for unforgiveness are severe here on earth and in eternity.

Decide to forgive. Don’t let the devil use hurts and problems to infect your heart with his lies. Go before God and do some heart housecleaning if you realize unforgiveness affects you. He will be merciful and gracious to you and once you are finished you will be more like Him.

Talk It Out | Take a few minutes to talk about any issues of unforgiveness between you. It may be something as small as not picking up your dirty socks or forgetting to pay a bill, or it may be a more serious issue. Whatever the case, if one of you became angry with the other, it’s best to talk it out rather than let that anger build. Choose to forgive, and speak words of forgiveness and blessing to each other.

Walk It Out | Commit to praying together each night before you go to sleep. This is a foolproof way to keep unforgiveness and anger from building up between you.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord , my rock and my redeemer.’ Psalms 19:14(NLT)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Did you know that there’s a big difference between complaining and criticizing? All of us need the freedom to complain to our spouses. We also need to make sure our spouses know they have the right to complain to us. In a healthy marriage, there is a freedom of expression that allows
us to talk openly.

When you complain, you must remember that it isn’t about your spouse; it is about you. Even though you may be complaining about something your spouse has done, the focus is on how you feel. In other words, if Karen has done something that bothers me and I confront her about it I would say something like, “Karen, you were short-tempered with me this morning and it bothered me. I don’t like it when you respond to me that way. If I’ve done something to make you mad, then I want you to tell me.”

Notice that I didn’t begin by accusing or attacking her. I began by talking about how I felt and my desire to understand what happened. I also said that if I had done something wrong, then I wanted to know it and take responsibility for it. Complaining gets everything out on the table without demeaning your spouse or putting him or her on the defensive.

Criticizing is different. Criticizing focuses on the other person as it accuses them and immediately puts them on the defensive. Here is what that same conversation would sound like: “Karen, you were short-tempered with me this morning and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t deserve to be treated like that. The next time you do that, I’m going to let you have it.”

Notice the difference in complaining and criticizing? Complaining explains the problem, but gives your spouse a gracious way to respond and explain his or her side. Because complaining focuses on how you feel and doesn’t try to interpret your spouse’s actions, it keeps the conversation civil and constructive. Criticizing immediately puts you in a battle mode and stirs up a hostile environment.

You must be careful to begin your confrontations with affirmation and respect for your spouse. Get your emotions under control and keep your mouth in check. Focus on how you feel and allow your spouse the right to complain back to you and explain what is going on inside. If you will do this, your confrontations will be much more pleasant and productive, and you will experience more intimacy and a deeper friendship.

Talk It Out | When was the last time you allowed your spouse to complain and you didn’t become defensive or angry? Talk about ways your spouse could approach you with a complaint and the end result be productive.

Walk It Out | This week do something for your spouse that you would do for your best friend. Take her out for coffee, surprise him with an inexpensive gift, or make a phone call in the middle of the day just to say, “I’m thinking of you.”

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.’ Proverbs 15:4(NLT)

‘The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.’ Proverbs 18:21(NLT)

A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4 NAS)

It has been proven in research that the first three minutes of any confrontation between spouses dictates the rest of the encounter. A harsh start-up dooms a conversation to failure from the beginning. A harsh start-up means beginning a disagreement with your spouse by yelling, accusing, making threats, name calling or so on.

Again, research proves that how you start determines how you finish. So, if you start in a wrong manner, it is better to stop the conversation and come back in a few minutes or hours and start it again. It is also very important that you apologize and take responsibility for anything you’ve said that is mean or damaging.

When you’re angry, it’s important that you talk it out with your spouse. The right way to confront is to begin by affirmation of your love and commitment to the relationship. Say something like this: “Honey, I’m upset and I want to talk to you. Before I say what I want to say, I just want you to know that I love you and I’m committed to you. I’m so glad we’re married and I know we’ll work this out. I also know I may be wrong, but I just need to talk and let you know how I’m feeling.”

When you confront in this manner, your spouse is in no way threatened. Your humble, affirming posture puts him or her in the best environment possible to hear what you have to say and to be able to respond. I have known many couples who begin every serious confrontation with threats of divorce or by calling their spouses terrible names. Remember this—words are nuclear and eternal. The Bible says that we have the power of death and life in our mouths (Proverbs 18:21).

People who don’t understand this damage each other and ruin their chances at happiness. Those who understand the power of words realize that they must be careful what they say. Never is this principle more important than in conflict resolution. When your feelings are hurt and you feel rejected and angry, you must keep your words carefully controlled. You must not allow your emotions to control your actions, but rather, let wisdom control your words.

To successfully resolve conflict you must begin with words of love and affirmation. Remember, the first three minutes of the conversation will determine the outcome in almost every case. Use them wisely and your marriage will reap the benefits.

Talk It Out | Role play a conflict, and practice the first three minutes of your conversation. Begin with affirmation, then talk about the way you feel when your spouse overdraws the checking account, forgets a birthday, etc. Remember how critical the first three minutes are, and notice how they set the tone for the remainder of the conversation.

Walk It Out | Take time this week to spend an hour together at the park. Sit on the swings, throw a frisbee or softball, feed the birds or ducks. Enjoy nature as you enjoy each other’s company.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ Ephesians 4:25-27(NLT)

Therefore putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. (Ephesians 4:25)

Last week we talked about how positive conflict resolution begins with an acceptance of your anger and by allowing your spouse to be honest about his or her anger as well. The second step in positive conflict resolution has to do with how you confront each other. Even though some anger can be dealt with in prayer or on a personal level, much of your anger related to our spouse’s behavior must be talked out.

This means you need to learn how to approach one another when you are angry. This is such a critical lesson to learn because uncontrolled or unrighteous anger can be so destructive. In learning to deal with confrontation, you first of all need to wait until your anger is under control. However, do it today. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

The word interpreted “devil” is the Greek word diabolos, and it means “slanderer.” Going to bed on unresolved anger gives the devil an opportunity to whisper in your ear accusations and slander concerning your spouse. Remember that today’s anger is very manageable; yesterday’s anger is dangerous because it has fermented.

When Karen and I first got married we would go for months angry at each other. When we got mad, we got quiet. That is my natural personality. When I’m the most angry, I’m the quietest. That is ok in the short term, because it keeps me from saying or doing things I would regret in response to my anger. However, it is a very negative trait in the long term.

Karen and I have learned over the years not to get mad and get quiet. We know how dangerous it is to give the devil an opportunity in our marriage through unresolved anger. We make it a practice to confront each other in love every day.

Allow yourself and your spouse to be honest about your anger. Then be sure that you confront anger in a timely way, but wait a few minutes or a few hours until you are in control and won’t say or do anything you’ll regret or that will damage your spouse.

Talk It Out | Make a commitment to allow each other the freedom to talk about your negative feelings without being punished. Also, make a commitment never to go to bed angry again without talking things out and mapping out a plan for resolving the conflict.

Walk It Out | Think back to the time when you were dating; remember some of the fun things you liked to do together. Then designate a date night and go out and do something fun!

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ Ephesians 4:26-27(NLT)

Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Every marriage has problems, even good marriages. The difference between a good and a bad marriage is simply the ability to work through problems. The good news is that every person can learn the skills of successful conflict resolution.

Regardless of the mistakes you may have made in the past, you can turn your marriage and life around by learning these skills. And these skills work in more than just marriage; they help you in every relationship.

One of the first principles of conflict resolution is how to deal with anger. In Ephesians 4:26, the first thing that the Apostle Paul tells us about dealing with anger is that we must acknowledge it. He says, “Be angry…” Denying anger doesn’t make it go away; instead, it makes it build up until it explodes in a destructive and unmanageable manner.

Anger isn’t necessarily good or bad; it’s just real. As human beings, we get angry. Sometimes it is because we’ve been genuinely violated. In other cases, it’s because we’re immature or have unrealistic expectations or are selfish. When I’m angry and need to get it out, I’m not claiming that I’m right; I’m just angry.

When Karen and I got married, we didn’t know how to deal with anger. We both stuffed a lot of it inside and about every three months we would have an explosive fight. Sometimes our fights were about the dumbest little things, but those dumb little things were just the spark that caused the stored up anger inside of us to explode.

What we learned over time is that we couldn’t go to bed angry. We not only learned to accept our own anger, but we also learned that we had to give each other the right to be angry and to express anger. Learning to be honest about your anger and allowing your spouse to do the same is the first step in successful conflict resolution. Once you are able to accept your anger, you must also commit to doing the right thing with it. You can never use your anger to justify unrighteous behavior. How you resolve conflict is crucial. It must be resolved in a manner that honors God and treats your spouse with dignity and care.

Talk It Out | Are you able to be honest about your anger, and do you allow your spouse to be honest about anger as well? Talk about the different ways each of you tends to respond to anger, and how it makes the other one feel. What can you do to improve your methods of dealing with anger?

Walk It Out | Commit to certain rules when dealing with anger and resolving conflict. Some suggestions are:

1. Take time apart to pray about a disagreement before talking about it together.

2. Decide ahead of time to not raise the volume of your voice.

3. Speak words of affirmation to your spouse before discussing the issue at hand.

4. Agree to never threaten divorce.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see. ‘ Hebrews 11:1(NLT)

‘And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.’ Hebrews 11:6(NLT)

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

Hebrews 11:6 says that it is impossible to please God without faith. Every good thing that God does in our lives is in response to our faith in Him and His Word. It pleases Him when we believe in His presence and His good intentions for us. In other words, faith works when we believe in the unseen presence of God and His unfailing love. Faith withers when we doubt that He is with us in an intimate manner or that He loves us as our Heavenly Father.

In marriage, faith must be exercised every day and in every area of life. Faith gets our eyes off of each other and the smaller issues and puts them on a big God. When we pray in faith, not only do we see God answer with miracles, but we also find a place of unity and peace in the midst of the worst storms in life.

Karen and I have learned that if we don’t pray, we will worry and probably fight. Worse still, if we don’t pray, we don’t see God work as only He can. We have seen literally hundreds, if not thousands, of answers to prayer over the forty+ years of our marriage. Faith in God is a bond between us that is stronger than any force that can come against us or try to tear us apart.

Faith becomes especially crucial when you see an area of weakness in your spouse. I verbally abused and dominated Karen for the first several years of our marriage because I wanted her to change. I thought the force of my words and personality could do it. It didn’t. The only thing it did was to ruin our marriage and almost cause a divorce.

Karen didn’t change until I put faith in God, did what the Bible said, and trusted God for the results. I remember when I learned to say something once to Karen in a loving manner and then to pray for God to enforce it. The results were amazing!

God cares about every detail of your life, and He is ready to act on your behalf when you put faith in Him. As you pray and believe, God will come through for you.

Talk It Out | Ask yourself these two important questions: Do you have faith in God? And do you exercise faith related to your marriage? Talk about the areas of your marriage that you’re ready to stop worrying or fighting about and start trusting in God. Pray together and begin to believe God to see a change.

Walk It Out | Pick out a favorite Bible verse this week, write it down and share it with your spouse. Make it a special reminder to both of you that God is working in your marriage and that you can trust Him with any situation, big or small.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans