Tag: One: A Marriage Devotional

‘Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.’ Psalms 119:165(NLT)

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble. (Psalm 119:165)

I was on a television program once where they were taking live questions from viewers all over the U.S. One of the callers had an interesting question for me. The first hint I had that this wasn’t going to be a common question was when she stated that she had ten mothers-in-law.

In the village in Africa where her husband was from, it was common practice to share children among groups. Her husband was literally raised by a group of ten women who each considered themselves to be his mother. Now, after he had immigrated to the United States and married, each of these women were vying for position and influence in his marriage and family. This woman’s husband was passive and wouldn’t stand up and do anything about it. The wife literally couldn’t make any decision or have a say about anything without being usurped by a “mother-in-law.”

I remember how I answered her. I told her that whether she had one mother-in-law or ten, the principles are always the same. Her husband needed to stand up and protect her from the interference of these women.

I’m mentioning her story to make this point: most problems in marriage have pretty simple solutions. Let me encourage you that as difficult as things may be, there is an answer and it’s probably not that complicated. The following is a list of some basic principles that will make a dramatic difference in any marriage.

+ The most important issue in marriage is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

+ Marriage must be the first priority.

+ Marriage is work. There is no such thing as a marriage that operates solely on chemistry or “soul mate” steam.

+ Marriage requires teamwork and sacrifice.

+ Dominance destroys intimacy and goodwill.

+ Men and women are very different and must honor each other’s unique natures and work hard to meet each other’s needs.

+ Couples must deal with anger every day and not go to bed with unresolved issues.

+ Marriage takes faith.

+ One spouse trusting in God and doing the right thing can turn the worst marriage around.

Talk It Out | When you read over this list, does one of these principles jump out at you? Talk about which of these areas you feel you are doing well in, and which ones you would like to improve in.

Walk It Out | Show your spouse that he or she is a priority in your life by saying no to an activity so that the two of you can spend some time together. It might mean missing a tv show you like to watch or skipping lunch with your friends this week so you can have lunch as a couple.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. ‘ 1 John 4:7(NLT)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)

Last week we discussed the difference between having a gardener’s mentality and a consumer’s mentality in marriage. Today we will look at another mindset that is critical to having a successful marriage. I call it having an “owner’s mentality” as opposed to a “renter’s mentality.”

Suppose you were going to rent a house. Before signing the lease, the landlord said, “It will cost $50,000 to repair this house, and you will have to pay that amount in order to lease it.” What would you do? Obviously you wouldn’t agree to that, and neither would I. As a short-term renter, you simply wouldn’t invest that much money in someone else’s property.

However, if you owned a house and discovered that extensive and expensive repairs were needed, it would be a different matter. As the owner, you would have a compelling interest
to take care of the property. You would be willing to make the repairs—you would even be willing to sacrifice to make the needed investment.

I’m sure you can understand how having a renter’s mentality in marriage can be devastating. With this mindset, when you encounter your spouse’s faults, you may begin to wonder if you married the wrong person. When difficult times knock on the door, you will begin to entertain thoughts that the marriage won’t last.

In effect, a renter’s mentality causes you to become passive when your marriage needs the most attention. Your spouse is viewed as the landlord who must fix up the place. And with one foot positioned at the back door, you begin to entertain the thought that another house just might just be the answer. Of course, at that point the devil becomes your personal real estate agent to entice you with a better property next door, at work, or on TV.

It’s easy to understand why an owner’s mentality is needed for success in marriage. An owner’s mentality demonstrates a commitment to the relationship regardless of the circumstances. Rather than being passive about problems and entertaining the possibility of moving, an owner rolls up his or her sleeves and becomes proactive, aggressive, and sacrificial in the face of needed repairs.

With an owner’s mentality, you don’t view your spouse as a negligent landlord. Rather you see your husband or wife as a co-owner of the home. As an owner, you know that your efforts will have a positive impact on the marriage for a long time; therefore, you work, serve, and give whatever it takes. That is the secret to building a great marriage.

Talk It Out | When problems occur in your relationship, do you expect your spouse to do all of the work to make things right, or do you roll up your shirtsleeves and go to work? In your mind, is your spouse a landlord or a co-owner? Talk about the difference it makes in your relationship when you know the other person is fully invested in the success of your marriage.

Walk It Out | Make this a night for foot rubs. Use massage oil or lotion, and give each other a soothing and relaxing foot massage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged.’ Isaiah 42:3(NLT)

Living by the Spirit’s Power
‘Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:1-33(NLT)

A bruised reed He will not break. (Isaiah 42:3)

Here in America, most people have a consumer’s mentality. When a consumer buys a product and brings it home and realizes there is a problem with it, he or she takes it back. As a consumer, you pay for something and you expect your money’s worth. You take no responsibility for the problem the product came with.

Often couples bring a consumer mentality into their marriages. Obviously, we all marry imperfect people, and we ourselves are imperfect. But many people become overwhelmed by the faults of their spouses. In fact, it is common for couples to wonder if they married the wrong person at some point in time.

Of course, the devil loves to point out your spouse’s flaws and problems because he is the accuser. To stop the devil in his tracks and to keep your spouse’s faults from overwhelming you and damaging your marriage, you must adopt a different mentality. I call it the gardener’s mentality. It is the opposite of the consumer’s mentality. Let me explain.

A gardener is a different breed. Say, for example, there is a tree or shrub in a gardener’s care that is unhealthy or has problems. A true gardener doesn’t accuse the seller or reject the plant. A gardener takes responsibility to do what is necessary to restore the plant to health. He or she asks the question, “I wonder what I could be doing that would cause this problem?” Or, “I wonder what I can do that will fix it and restore it to health?”

We can all thank God that Jesus has a gardener’s mentality toward us. Even though He is in no way responsible for our problems, He loves us and nurtures us to health. In Ephesians chapter five, men are charged with “nourishing and cherishing” their wives. Interestingly, those are both agricultural words. Even the word husband is an agricultural term (e.g., husbandman).

Related to marriage, are you a gardener or a consumer? If you are a consumer, you are most likely impatient and frustrated with your spouse’s problems. You take no responsibility to do what you can to nurture your spouse or redeem the situation. You probably think you might have made a mistake.

If you are a gardener, you see the problems in your spouse but view them much differently from a consumer. You are optimistic about them getting better because you are proactive and positive. Your caring behavior gives your spouse the encouragement and loving atmosphere needed to get better. Also, your prayers and obedience become God’s tools for redeeming your spouse and making him or her into the person God intended.

Talk It Out | Has your attitude toward your spouse been that of a gardener or a consumer? Identify attitudes and tendencies you would like to change, and talk about how to follow through on those changes.

Walk It Out | Buy a package of seeds and plant them (in a container indoors if necessary). As you watch the seeds sprout and grow into healthy plants, think about the positive results of nurturing care and how that applies to your marriage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!’ Isaiah 26:3(NLT)

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3)

I gave a phone interview recently with a researcher who wanted to know what I thought was the greatest threat to marriages in modern society. I told him that I thought there were several but one of the leading threats is stress. Society is moving at a faster pace than ever and demanding more of us all of the time. Especially during certain seasons or times of transition in life (births, deaths, illnesses, a new job, moving to a new city), couples experience the most pressure and more family problems as a result.

To succeed in marriage, you simply must keep the stress in your life and household to a manageable level. You must view stress as an archenemy that threatens to destroy you. By the way, did you know that the primary cause of doctor’s office visits is stress-related illness? And financial stress destroys more marriages than any other single issue. The stress of over-burdened schedules robs you of the time you need to be together as well as the emotional and physical energy that is essential for relational intimacy. Stress is deadly.

Take some of these steps to manage your stress levels:

+ Begin every day with a time of prayer and Bible reading. Trust God with the problems and needs of your life, and don’t let the burden rest on you. Also, pray for direction and make sure the decisions and choices you are making are being guided by the Lord. He will always lead you into a life of rest and peace and will keep you from harm.

+ Honor the Sabbath Day every week. One of the Ten Commandments is that we honor the Sabbath Day to keep it holy. It is critical for our spiritual, emotional and physical health. It gets us out of the rat race and also keeps us from acting like them (the rats)! Be sure and be faithful to attend and participate in a good Bible-believing church.

+ Avoid debt and over-extending yourself financially. Save money and pay cash as much as possible. Debt creates stress that robs you of the joy of what you purchase and possess.

+ Schedule and protect time to be together every day as a couple to talk and relate without distraction. Even if it is only twenty or thirty minutes, it greatly reduces stress and increases intimacy and goodwill.

Finally, I just want to encourage you to keep Jesus as the focus of your life. He is the Prince of Peace and ultimate stress-buster. The more we worship and celebrate Him, the better everything becomes.

Talk It Out | How manageable is the stress level in your marriage? What can you do to help reduce it? Talk about practical ways you can follow he steps listed above and keep stress at a minimum in your lives.

Walk It Out | Spend a quiet time together this week. Read a Scripture that’s especially meaningful to you, and pray together, committing your needs and cares to God.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.’ Proverbs 15:22(NLT)

Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established. (Proverbs 15:22)

In many major cities, especially in the South, you will notice an emergency designation on main highways that is there to help people flee when a dangerous hurricane is approaching. Local authorities wisely plan before a disaster strikes, because it can save lives and prevent chaos from setting in and creating even more problems than a natural disaster.

Couples also need to have a disaster plan for their marriages. It is almost inevitable that every couple will face an impasse at some point. It could be over the issue of sex, children, in-laws, money, an affair, or any number of issues.

An emergency plan simply means you have agreed together that in the event you can’t work things out as a couple, you will go together to seek and submit to pastoral or professional Christian counsel. Without this, a dangerous dynamic can set in and you will either lock down into a running battle or, just as bad, square off in a cold war.

About twenty years ago, Karen and I reached an impasse in our marriage concerning an issue. We had already decided that if we couldn’t work things out between us we would submit to counseling, so we went to one of the women counselors at the church I was pastoring. We knew her well and both trusted her.

At the end of the session, she sided with Karen. She told me that I didn’t understand the situation properly, and then she tried to help me see a different perspective. Honestly, I struggled with her decision; however, I had decided to submit to her counsel. The case was closed. I apologized to Karen and followed the counselor’s advice.

Looking back twenty years later, it was a crucial point in our relationship. Since then, we have dealt with the same issue many times but have never had a serious problem. Also, in looking back, the counselor was right. I was wrong in the way I was looking at the situation and in the way I was relating to Karen. I am very glad I submitted myself to spiritual counsel.

Like I said before, I believe almost every couple will face an impasse at some point in their marriage over an issue that can threaten the future of their relationship. Having an emergency relief plan for your marriage is as important as a hurricane route is for a community on the Gulf of Mexico. It may not happen very often, but when it does, it can mean the difference between life and death—peace and chaos.

Talk It Out | Do you have an emergency relief plan for your marriage? Now is the best time to map out your strategy. Decide on a pastor, leader or professional Christian counselor whom you would both trust, and agree beforehand that you will follow their advice. Also discuss the warning signs that will let you both know it’s time to implement the emergency plan.

Walk It Out | Leave a note in an unexpected place–on the bathroom mirror, on her pillow, or taped to the steering wheel of his car–just to say “I’m thinking of you.”

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. ‘ Hebrews 13:8(NLT)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

In your house, I’m sure you have a thermostat that controls the heating and/or air conditioning. On that thermostat there is also a thermometer that shows the actual temperature. Of course, the thermostat is the more important of the two, because it actually controls the environment. The thermometer merely reflects the work of the thermostat.

In marriage, you must determine what the thermostat of your relationship is going to be—emotion or decision. In other words, how are you going to control the atmosphere of your relationship? Is it going to be determined by how you feel or by deciding to do the right thing regardless of how you feel?

When you build your marriage upon the thermostat of decision, it doesn’t mean that emotions aren’t important. It simply means that both of you are willing to act above your emotions if they are negative or passive. Because you act in a positive and proactive manner on a consistent basis, your emotions become the thermometer of the marriage that reflects a stable and passionate relationship.

But when emotions are the thermostat of your marriage, you’re in for a rough ride. The dangerous thing about living based on emotion is the inconsistency of it. You simply cannot predict your emotions. You never know when you are going to feel up or down. But even worse than that is the fact that the more you act upon your emotions, the more unsuccessful life becomes, which produces even more negative emotions—and then more negative behavior.

You’ve probably heard me say this before, but love is a decision, not an emotion. True love is the choice to do the right thing for the object of your affection regardless of negative circumstances or the other person’s behavior. It also includes the decision to be committed through every phase, challenge, and season of marriage without wavering.

Don’t worship your emotions. They will lead you to a rollercoaster ride of frustration and failure. Worship God and let His love be the standard for your own. God’s love is stable and consistent. Through the ups and downs of life, His love for you never changes.

Talk It Out | Is it time for a new thermostat in your marriage? Think of a situation when your emotions caused you to respond negatively to each other. What choices could you make to be proactive in changing that behavior before your emotions take control?

Walk It Out | Go on a lunch date this week, just the two of you. Try out a special restaurant you wouldn’t normally go to, and choose a day when your schedule isn’t rushed so that you can spend a little extra time just relaxing and talking about the events of your week.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom.’ Ecclesiastes 9:10(NLT)

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might. (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

There is an interesting paradox about successful marriages. The first part of the paradox has to do with the fact that, according to research, the most successful couples are those with high expectations for their marriages. However, high expectations by themselves are a setup for disappointment and sure failure unless they are combined with a realistic assessment of what it will take to make those dreams come true.

This is the essence of the paradox—high expectations must be combined with a tough-minded commitment to pay the price necessary to attain the desired outcome. It’s no different from having a dream to own a successful business. The desire is wonderful as long as you expect to have to work hard and make some sacrifices. The same is true of a desire to have a body that is in great shape. The desire must be combined with a commitment to eat right and exercise; otherwise, it will never happen.

Somehow, people understand the connection between high expectations and hard work in every area of life except for marriage. Some couples are convinced that if they have to work too hard in marriage, there must be something wrong. No, there’s nothing wrong. Marriage is work, and it only works when people are willing to roll up their sleeves and give it their best.

If you want to succeed in marriage, you need to begin with a big dream in your heart for what you want to accomplish. Make sure it’s realistic, but don’t let it be too small. God is the God of big dreams. Then, once you have a big dream and some high expectations, commit yourself to working hard and sacrificing for as long as necessary to see your dreams come true. This also includes praying hard for God’s blessings and assistance.

Big dreams and hard work are the magic ingredients that create great marriages. Don’t give up. Dream again and talk and pray with your spouse until you have the same vision for your future. As you do, commit to God and each other to give your marriage your best. Expect difficulty and hard work. They aren’t your enemies. They are the inevitable path we all must travel on the way to our dream marriages. There are no exceptions and no “perfect soul mate” utopias. Just the promise of happiness for any good-hearted, hard-working couple who is willing to sweat their way to the promised land.

Talk It Out | Do you have high expectations and a big dream for your marriage? Have you given up and lowered your standards because of previous disappointments? Talk about the dreams you have had for your marriage and how to make them come true. Commit to each other that you will give your marriage your very best.

Walk It Out | Become your spouse’s biggest fan. Call, email, or send text messages during the day to stay in touch. At the end of the day, give each other your undivided attention. Remember your dating days and how you couldn’t stand to be apart—act the way you did back then!

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will be exposed.’ Proverbs 10:9(NLT)

He who walks with integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will become known. (Proverbs 10:9)

The word integrity means “completeness” or “wholeness.” It simply means that nothing is lacking and that everything is in proper condition. To live a life of integrity means that every area of your life is in a generally healthy and morally sound condition.

Of course, we all know that none of us are perfect. To have integrity doesn’t mean that perfection must be your standard. It simply means that you haven’t surrendered an area or areas of your life to unrepentant sin, illegal activity, deception, or any other type of serious compromise.

What you must understand about integrity in order to value it properly is the fact that one area of compromise can seriously damage or destroy you. The example I use to describe this is how a home is robbed. A burglar doesn’t need every door and window in a house to be opened for him to rob it. No, one entry point will allow him all of the access he needs to vandalize the entire home.

Likewise, the devil doesn’t need you to surrender your life entirely to sin before he can go to work. Just one area of compromise lets him in. Let me use marriage as an example. I have seen many very nice and well-intentioned couples whose marriages were destroyed over a simple principle such as financial disobedience to biblical standards. Even though all other areas of their marriages were generally sound, their downfall came from just one “open door.”

Of course, countless lives and marriages have been destroyed through sexual sin alone, or alcohol abuse or anger—the list could go on and on. The point I want to make is that we need to be people of integrity.

Integrity creates true security and safety for your marriage and family. It means you haven’t left a door open for the devil to rob you of your hopes and dreams. He is truly evil and is always looking for a way in to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10). Therefore, you must not excuse sin in your life or justify an area of vice because you are otherwise a good person.

Take this issue seriously and choose to be a person of integrity.

Talk It Out | Have you left a door open in your life or marriage? You can close it by confessing it to the Lord and taking responsibility for your actions. Take a few minutes to pray together, asking the Lord to forgive you and give you the power to overcome any sin you may be struggling with. Commit to trust Him daily in these areas.

Walk It Out | Plan a date night this week and invite another couple you’ve been wanting to get to know. Building healthy relationships with couples who share your values and faith is a great way to strengthen your own marriage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Proverbs 31:10-12(NLT)

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)

Trust is an essential element of intimacy and goodwill in marriage. The more you trust your spouse, the more you can relax when you’re together and open your hearts to each other. This is what makes a “comfortable” relationship. That doesn’t mean comfortable in the bad sense, where you are lazy and take each other for granted. This is comfortable in the best sense of the word.

The rewards of trust are immense. An example is sexual fulfillment. Nationwide polls prove that the best sex isn’t experienced by swinging singles. It is experienced mostly by married, monogamous, religious people.

I believe the reason for this is simple. Even though singles in a casual relationship may share a sexual encounter, the relationship remains superficial and performance-oriented. Rejection is frequent and trust is low, which contributes to decreased sexual gratification. However, in a committed relationship, trust is much higher and sex is better.

Another reward is in the area of communication. When you trust each other, it is easy to share your thoughts without fear and to resolve issues. You communicate on a much deeper level, which brings a sense of intimate friendship.

The benefits of trust in marriage don’t come automatically. The first requirement is responsible behavior. This means that you are careful about how your behavior affects your spouse. It also means that you say you’re sorry and make things right when you do something wrong.

Another important factor in building trust is consistency. If you do something hurtful or irresponsible that damages the trust in your marriage, your spouse’s forgiveness can restore the relationship; trust, however, can only be restored with consistency over time. The longer you go meeting each other’s needs, respecting each other’s feelings and doing the right thing, the stronger trust becomes. Consistency is the key.

Talk It Out | If you have done something to violate the trust of your spouse, make it right. Apologize and talk about ways to create a consistent pattern of positive and responsible behavior.

Walk It Out | Go to a greenhouse or nursery together and pick out a tree or flowering bush. Plant it in your yard or in an indoor container. As you watch it grow week after week, be reminded of the consistency that your relationship requires in order to build deep and lasting trust.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.’ 1 Corinthians 13:13(NLT)

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

About ten years ago my uncle Charles died. He was a good man and had a happy marriage of forty years to my aunt Peggy. As I was preparing to do his eulogy at the funeral, my aunt told me that he wrote her a new poem every day before he went to work and left it on the kitchen table. Wow!

Obviously, he understood the importance of keeping their romance alive on a daily basis.

One of the biggest misconceptions in marriage is that romance can be infrequent and a marriage will still stay strong. No relationship can be maintained solely through the right chemistry or the idea of being “soul mates.” A strong relationship is the product of developing the right relational habits and exercising important skills that help build and maintain a strong marriage.

So let’s talk about what romance is and what it isn’t. When you are romantic, you communicate a unique value to your spouse. It’s an action that says, “You are on my heart and I care about our relationship.” Romance means meeting an unspoken need or desire. If your spouse has to keep reminding you to do something special, it takes the romance out of the gesture. It is only romantic if you take the initiative to do something that your spouse will enjoy.

Also, a romantic gesture must be in a “language” your spouse understands. This is where many men and women make mistakes. Romance for a woman means physical affection without sex. It also means verbal affection—a lot of meaningful conversation. Meeting her relational needs in a
patient and caring manner is very romantic to a woman. Sex is not the primary issue for her. When she is sexual, it is in response to her emotional needs being met.

Romance means something very different for a man. He doesn’t need candlelight dinners and long walks to be romanced. There are two essentials elements involved in romance for him: honor and sex. A naked cheerleader is a perfect solution for his romantic needs!

The important thing is to communicate value and respect to your partner while demonstrating a servant’s spirit. The more you romance your spouse, the more passionate and healthy your marriage will become.

Talk It Out | Describe to each other what your definition of romance is. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers; it’s simply your perspective of what makes you feel special and loved.

Walk It Out | Sometime this week, do one of the things that your spouse identified as a gesture that would be especially romantic to him or her. Make sure it’s something that speaks your spouse’s romance language, not yours.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans