Tag: Marriage On Hold: Kids

‘If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ‘ James 1:5(NLT)

‘So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 5:6(NLT)

‘but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 5:21(NLT)

Devotional Content:

In today’s final video in this plan, Dr. Kim asks Tony and Natalie this question, “Moving forward, what are your next steps in keeping the priorities for your marriage and your family on track?”

It is one thing to want a balanced marriage and another to make it happen. Tony uses a word that we say a lot at Awesome Marriage: intentional. If we want things to change and to have the marriage God designed for us, we have to be intentional. Unfortunately, it does not just happen. It takes effort every day and the alternative is not a good look. If we do not grow together, it seems we grow apart. Eventually kids grow up and begin their own adult lives. It is a normal part of life. It is a time to look at each other and say, “With God’s help, we did a good job of parenting.” It is also a time to look at each other and say, “Our marriage is better than ever.” You can do both. It just takes being intentional one day at a time.

Today’s Challenge: 

Identify three things that together you can be intentional about in your marriage that you both feel will make a difference.

Going Deeper:

What are you going to do differently because of this plan? How will you both be accountable? Pray for God’s wisdom, guidance, and encouragement as you put Him first and your marriage second every day!

from Marriage On Hold: Kids by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Instead, let us test and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the Lord .’ Lamentations 3:40(NLT)

‘Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. ‘ Romans 12:3(NLT)

‘I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ —for this will bring much glory and praise to God.’ Philippians 1:9-11(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Tony and Natalie this question, “What are your blind spots individually and together in keeping your marriage and your family in balance?”

We all have blind spots in our lives and this certainly can be true in our marriages.  Culture plays a part by what it affirms. Culture can give us the impression that making our kids the center of our  world is not only the normal but the the “expected” thing to do. How do we battle this? How do we see blind spots? Tony gives a great example as he and Natalie take time to regularly look at their marriage and push back against the societal norms.  It is in the  pushing back that the blind spots are revealed. Taking time to really look at and evaluate where your marriage is in relation to where you want it to be is an important process for all of us.

Today’s Challenge: 

Set a time to together look at your marriage and identify your blind spots. Make a list of your goals for your marriage and them rate how you are doing on each goal. What is your plan of action to begin reaching your goals?

Going Deeper:

Pray for God to reveal any blind spots that you may have missed.

from Marriage On Hold: Kids by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Children are a gift from the Lord ; they are a reward from him.’ Psalms 127:3(NLT)

‘A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables. The wise are mightier than the strong, and those with knowledge grow stronger and stronger. So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many advisers. Wisdom is too lofty for fools. Among leaders at the city gate, they have nothing to say.’ Proverbs 24:3-7(NLT)

‘And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. ‘ Titus 2:7(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Tony and Natalie this question, “What are the dangers you see of having a child-centered marriage?”

There may, over time, be a number of dangers to having a child-centered marriage. God has a plan for marriage that started with the first marriage and has not changed over the years. It is God first and spouse second. Kids are important. Kids are a tremendous blessing. Yet, we cannot forget that part of our role in parenting is to model marriage. We are the marriage textbook for our kids. What are you modeling? A child-centered marriage not only hurts your marriage but also the future marriages of your kids.

Today’s Challenge: 

As a couple, discuss the dangers that you see for your marriage if it is child-centered.

Going Deeper:

What model of marriage do you want your kids to see? Together take steps to put your model into action.

‘Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.’ Psalms 90:12(NLT)

‘You say, “I am allowed to do anything” —but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. ‘ 1 Corinthians 10:23(NLT)

‘So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. ‘ Ephesians 5:15(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Tony and Natalie this question, “Where do you feel the most pressure to put your marriage on hold while raising kids?” 

Pressure can come from a number of sources. Certainly it can be external from well meaning friends and family. Learning how to set boundaries is essential to not putting your marriage on hold. Boundaries are simply a way to clearly state to others what you will and will not do. Boundaries will help you as a couple deal with the  pressures.  

Tony talks about the “internal pressure” they deal with at the end of the day when he and Natalie are exhausted. The temptation when there is nothing left is to do nothing instead of taking time to be intentional with each other. Choosing to spend time connecting when your body says “go to bed” may be one of the most important choices you make in your marriage.

Today’s Challenge: 

Together name and discuss the external pressures you feel to put your marriage on hold? Where do they come from? What boundaries do the two of you need to set?

Going Deeper: 

What are the internal pressures you feel that tempt you to put your marriage on hold?

from Marriage On Hold: Kids by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:4-6(NLT)

‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:2(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Tony and Natalie this question. “If someone on the outside took a look at your family, would they see it as child-centered or balanced?” 

How would you answer this question for your family? There is a lot of pressure to put all the focus on the kids. There is FOMO with your kids. Sure we want to give our kids opportunities to grow and develop the gifts and talents that God has given them but it cannot be at the expense of our marriage. Tony says it well, “I’m continuing to learn the skill of being able to say ‘no’ to a lot of things, so I can say ‘yes’ to the best things.”  

Today’s Challenge:

Together look at the things as parents you are saying “yes” to. Are you saying “yes” to the best things for your marriage and your family? What needs to change?

Going Deeper: 

What would happen if the two of you worked intentionally to have your marriage and your family balanced and looking different than “everyone else’s”?

from Marriage On Hold: Kids by Dr. Kim Kimberling