Tag: Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding.’ Jeremiah 3:15(NLT)

According to the hundreds of parents surveyed at Family Life marriage conferences, the number-one need of parents is learning how to effectively train their children to walk with God. We want our children to have good jobs and healthy marriages and families, but what matters most is that they each have a vital relationship with Christ.

We have the unique privilege of shepherding our children’s hearts so that as they grow older, they will desire to remain close to the heart of God. It is a profound responsibility, “And I will give you shepherds according to My heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.”

In order for your children to embrace their God-given identity, they need to understand who God is and that knowing Him is the key to what life is all about. Some key concepts about God for you to share with your children are:

• God alone is Lord—there is no other.
• God is eternal.
• God is sovereign and has absolute authority.
• God has personality—mind, emotions, and will.
• God is love—He made human beings for relationships, both with Himself and with each other.
• God created us in His image—we are made to reflect God’s love to others.
• God loves us—each of us is a person of value.

As our children learn these basic attributes of God, they will begin to see He is the One who gives their lives ultimate purpose and meaning. A. W. Tozer’s statement is worth repeating, “The most important thing you think is what you think about God.”

Ultimately, it’s not who our children or even what family they come from that matters. It’s what they think about God and who they are in Him.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children. Fear of the Lord is a life-giving fountain; it offers escape from the snares of death.’ Proverbs 14:26-27(NLT)

Would you like your family to exhibit strong courage in this fear-ridden world? Would you like your children to have a place of refuge in the midst of trouble? Would you like them to drink from a fountain of life and be able to escape the death traps that ensnare so many others?

Here is where that kind of courage and character begins, “In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge. The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death.”

To fear God means that you practice the presence of God in the midst of everyday choices. This means that if you are to teach your children to fear God, then you must choose to live a life that seeks to please Him in all respects. If you have the fear of the Lord, then you can infect your children with the same life-giving disease.

Those who fear the Lord apply the Scriptures to effectively meet whatever challenges come their way. They aren’t perfect, but as they depend on God for strength, they will find that His power can equip them to meet every challenge they face. This is why the fear of the Lord is described as the beginning of wisdom—godly skill in everyday living.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘“The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’’ Matthew 25:21(NLT)

‘Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ‘ Colossians 3:23(NLT)

When your children listen to you speak or watch you work, do they get the idea that believers in Jesus Christ should strive for excellence in everything they do? Do they see you working wholeheartedly for the Lord, and not for men? We believe this should be one of our primary tasks, to use both our words and our actions to encourage our children toward a life of excellence.

Of course, we do not mean attaining perfection or applying identical standards to every child. Rather, we propose that within their God-given capabilities every child be challenged to rise above the crowd, to seek higher standards of achievement, and to become all that God has gifted him or her to be.

This was a real challenge, especially during the years when we had four teenagers living in our home. There’s always tension between understanding a child’s talent and ability and stretching them to attainable goals. Many times my wife and I would pray and ask God if we were too lenient, and on other occasions we’d ask Him if we were too tough. In every situation, it was our dependence upon God that helped us decide and trust Him with both the process and the results.

Training children to step above mediocrity also helps them reject mediocrity in their relationships with God. Jesus pointed to a coming day when God will say to His diligent children, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.”

It is our job as parents to teach our children to be trustworthy, to fulfill their commitments, and to do a good job even when nobody is looking. In the end, they need to learn to do their work “heartily, as to the Lord.”

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.’ Psalms 127:4(NLT)

It has been said that a child is a parent’s heart walking around outside his body.

In Psalm 127:4, God compares children to “arrows in the hand of warrior.” Arrows are not designed to stay in the quiver. Arrows are created for flight, to rush toward God’s target. They’re meant for battle. And from the time you bring them home from the hospital, those little arrows must be shaped, sharpened, and honed for God’s intended purpose.

Every archer worth his salt can tell you there is pain in launching an arrow. As the archer lets go, his left forearm can be painfully stung with the slap of the string. The same is true of a parent’s heart. While the arrow is enjoying the flight he was made for, the heart of a parent feels the sting of the release.

Releasing is also scary. Will they fly straight? Will they get blown off course? Will they fall short of the God’s intended destination for their lives?

You’ll never know if you don’t release them. You’ll never know what God has intended specifically for each one. In fact, they’ll never grow up at all if you keep them safe in your quiver, away from the battlefield. At the appropriate time, take careful aim. Pull back slowly and deliberately launch your arrow. Then resist the urge to pull that arrow back and into the quiver where it’s safe.

We’ve launched six and trust me, it got tougher to let go with each arrow! But we’ve learned that we must let go if our children are to fly toward the target that God has for them.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘But if you refuse to serve the Lord , then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord .”’ Joshua 24:15(NLT)

Our assignment as parents is not only to impart to our kids our knowledge of God, but also to give them a vision for their world. That’s what Joshua did, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

You do this just as Joshua did it. Pray for your children, that God’s plan for their lives will be fulfilled. Also, give them a vision for the world. How? When you come home from work, tell them stories about how God showed up and is changing lives at your place of employment.

When you go on family vacations, look for ways on the road to get them involved in God’s kingdom work.

You and I are a part of a generational relay race in which we must make a good handoff to the next generation. Remember, your marriage and family are the headwaters of your legacy. What occurs downstream in history with your kids will flow only as strong as the source at home.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘I prayed to the Lord , and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.’ Psalms 34:4(NLT)

‘But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.’ Psalms 56:3(NLT)

‘“Be strong and courageous! Don’t be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria or his mighty army, for there is a power far greater on our side! He may have a great army, but they are merely men. We have the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!” Hezekiah’s words greatly encouraged the people.’ 2 Chronicles 32:7-8(NLT)

‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!’ Isaiah 26:3(NLT)

The phrase “fear not” appears 365 times in the Bible. Like a daily vitamin, God has provided just what we need to conquer our daily dreads.

Faith in Jesus Christ and the promises of His Word will cause fear to flee. Instead of feeling terrorized, paralyzed, and hypnotized by our fears, faith galvanizes our character with courage. Why not commit one or more of the following verses to memory?

• “I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Ps. 34:4).
• “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You” (Ps. 56:3).
• “Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed before the king of Assyria, nor before all the multitude that is with him; for there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles” (2 Chron. 32:7, 8).
• “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You” (Isaiah 26:3).

If you struggle with fear in your marriage and family, take those fears to a God who not only tells you not to fear, but who also gives you reason not to fear. He is the One Who can deliver you from your fears and replace them with peace, comfort, and courage.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ‘ Romans 8:1(NLT)

‘No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.’ Philippians 3:13-14(NLT)

It is important to know that if you or your mate has confessed to God some past failures, they are completely forgiven. The Bible unequivocally declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Nevertheless, some believers find it hard to grasp that Christ took all the punishment they deserve. Even though Jesus did pay the total price for all our sins, many of us still feel shame, and so constantly replay mental images of past mistakes. The guilt can seem overpowering, especially when we see the long-term results of our selfish choices.

Let me encourage you to play a key role in nudging your spouse toward embracing God’s forgiveness. You and your spouse may want to consider memorizing Romans 8:1 together. You have the great privilege of reminding your mate of what God has done for us—no matter what we have done.

I recall one occasion early in our marriage when I was struggling with feeling shame because of some earlier mistakes. My wife was the one who reminded me of the truth, and who exhorted me to believe it. In fact, she firmly said to me, “Are you saying that God lied when He said ‘There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus’?” She went on to encourage me to believe the truth and not to deny it.

As Paul says in his letter to the Philippians, “One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13, 14). Leave the past in the past, and choose to believe what God’s Word says is true, instead of believing your feelings!

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.’ Genesis 50:21(NLT)

Can you imagine how relieved Joseph’s brothers felt when their now-powerful younger sibling told them, “Do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones”? And can you picture their body language when he “comforted them and spoke kindly to them”? Joseph’s words were powerful.

Our wives need the same kind of affirming words that create security and comfort. To encourage and bless your wife, affirm her consistently with pleasant, loving words. Let her know that you value, respect, and love her. Some evenings I come home, and I’m absolutely amazed at how busy my wife has been for me and the children. Running errands, settling squabbles, fixing meals—the list is endless.

Occasionally, I’ll miss my cue to encourage her and she’ll say, “You know what Iwould like you to do? Just tell me you appreciate what I’m doing for you!” You can tell your wife how much you appreciate her through specific compliments:

• “I appreciate your efforts to keep my clothes clean and pressed. You’re incredible!”
• “Thanks for looking so nice today.”
• “I appreciate always being able to count on you to follow through, no matter what.”
• “Thanks for being there—for always putting the children and me ahead of yourself.”

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Then the other administrators and high officers began searching for some fault in the way Daniel was handling government affairs, but they couldn’t find anything to criticize or condemn. He was faithful, always responsible, and completely trustworthy. ‘ Daniel 6:4(NLT)

If people tried to find grounds for charging you with corruption, would they succeed? Can you be trusted to do what you know is right? Are you reliable? It was said of Daniel, “So the governors and satraps sought to find some charge against Daniel concerning the kingdom; but they could find no charge or fault, because he was faithful; nor was there any error or fault found in him.”

Daniel was a man of character, and character says quietly, yet convincingly, “I do what is right, even when no one is around to see. You can count on me—at any cost!” To get a sense of whether others consider you a person of character, answer the following questions:

• Do people constantly have to remind you to get things done?
• Is your word a premium seal that secures the deal?
• Do you return phone calls?
• Do your children believe you when you promise to do something?
• If you promise you’ll be home, do you call if you’re going to be late?

Imagine the impact Christians would have on society if we replaced compromise and unfaithfulness with dependability, consistency and obedience toward God! Perhaps we could raise an army of young Daniels.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘But Rebekah overheard what Isaac had said to his son Esau. So when Esau left to hunt for the wild game, she said to her son Jacob, “Listen. I overheard your father say to Esau, ‘Bring me some wild game and prepare me a delicious meal. Then I will bless you in the Lord ’s presence before I die.’ Now, my son, listen to me. Do exactly as I tell you. Go out to the flocks, and bring me two fine young goats. I’ll use them to prepare your father’s favorite dish. Then take the food to your father so he can eat it and bless you before he dies.” “But look,” Jacob replied to Rebekah, “my brother, Esau, is a hairy man, and my skin is smooth. What if my father touches me? He’ll see that I’m trying to trick him, and then he’ll curse me instead of blessing me.” But his mother replied, “Then let the curse fall on me, my son! Just do what I tell you. Go out and get the goats for me!”’ Genesis 27:5-13(NLT)

‘So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ Ephesians 4:25-27(NLT)

Can you imagine how the biblical record might be different if Isaac and Rebekah had learned to deal with their conflicts through prayer, rather than through deceit and manipulation?

More to the point, would you like to do a better job of resolving conflict in your marriage? If so, then we encourage you to discover the power of praying together. Even though praying in the middle of a conflict is just as important as praying during calm seas, most of us don’t feel like praying with an opponent. But inviting the Prince of Peace into your boat in the middle of the storm is truly the answer.

For some of the best advice on how to resolve conflict in marriage, you have only to turn to Ephesians 4:25–27, “Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another. ‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

Note especially the phrase, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” If that single principle were observed, most marital conflicts would be resolved much sooner! The next time you have a conflict, instead of turning away to be angry, find a way to turn toward one another and God and pray together as a couple.

We have done this since 1972, and we can honestly say that this spiritual discipline of prayer has helped us resolve many conflicts.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan