Tag: Marriage

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Marriage – Day 5

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:22-33(NLT)

‘Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.’ Colossians 3:18-21(NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

‘In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.
Husbands
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:1-7(NLT)

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Marriage – Day 4

‘Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now. For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments. Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world. Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you. Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are. If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems. But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away. I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.’ 1 Corinthians 7:1-40(NLT)

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Marriage – Day 3

‘Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them. Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?” “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.” But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”’ Mark 10:1-12(NLT)

‘The next day there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration. The wine supply ran out during the festivities, so Jesus’ mother told him, “They have no more wine.” “Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” But his mother told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions. When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!” This miraculous sign at Cana in Galilee was the first time Jesus revealed his glory. And his disciples believed in him.’ John 2:1-11(NLT)

‘Now, dear brothers and sisters —you who are familiar with the law—don’t you know that the law applies only while a person is living? For example, when a woman marries, the law binds her to her husband as long as he is alive. But if he dies, the laws of marriage no longer apply to her. So while her husband is alive, she would be committing adultery if she married another man. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law and does not commit adultery when she remarries.’ Romans 7:1-3(NLT)

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Marriage – Day 2

‘Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. ‘ Ecclesiastes 9:9(NLT)

‘Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! ‘ Jeremiah 29:6(NLT)

‘“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.’ Matthew 5:31-32(NLT)

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Marriage – Day 1

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)

‘When this decree is published throughout the king’s vast empire, husbands everywhere, whatever their rank, will receive proper respect from their wives!” The king and his nobles thought this made good sense, so he followed Memucan’s counsel. He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.’ Esther 1:20-22(NLT)

‘Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.’ Proverbs 5:18(NLT)

‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)

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FAITH

‘So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”’ Deuteronomy 31:6(NLT)

Scripture: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” -Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

Devotional: When people ask us how Tam and I have made it to where we are today, there is really only one answer: Jesus. Because of our faith in Jesus, we have seen miracles in our marriage. Because of our faith in him, we have been able to encourage one another through anything. 

I’ll never forget when our youngest child, Tia, turned two years old. She was sick, and at first, we thought she had a common cold. Despite our efforts she was not getting any better. Then her illness got worse, so we thought it was the flu. Her condition grew worse and worse, so we took her to the hospital. By that point we were scared. She was crying without tears, and she wasn’t urinating. Doctors evaluated her and said she had an infection and was severely dehydrated. Without immediate intervention she would die. These are words no mother or father should ever have to hear.

We looked at each other and agreed, “We’ve got to trust God.” The situation was out of our control, but God was in control. While Tia was in that hospital room, I prayed like never before. I believe God heard our prayers and healed our daughter.

I can’t stress enough how important prayer is to the health of anyone’s marriage. Prayer is the key to living a peaceful life with God. Prayer is the root of our communication with God. It is the way we connect to heaven. And when life seems impossible, the confidence we have is in this one undeniable truth: God hears us. God hears our cry, and God hears our needs. He has never stopped listening to us. Knowing that has helped us to get through the rough days when we just wanted to let it all go. A threefold cord is not easily broken. When God is in the middle of your marriage, and when you both are committed to developing a relationship with Christ, the two of you can survive any storm. You can overcome any obstacle. 

WILL YOU PRAY WITH US? 

Father, thank you for the gift of faith. Thank you for the gift of love. When belief is combined with compassion, the consequence is blessing after blessing after blessing. Help me to continue to believe in my spouse. Help me to love through thick and thin. You have been the unbreakable cord that has kept us together. Without you, we can do nothing. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1.  Do I pray for my spouse daily? 

2.  Am I more inclined to try to get my spouse to do what I want, or do I take our issues to God in prayer? 

3.  When have you been successful in praying for something to change and it did? What were you doing during that time while you were praying? 

4.  Before I confront my spouse for something he/she isn’t doing right, have I allowed God to work on me?

from Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, & Family by David & Tamela Mann

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LAUGHING OUT LOUD

‘A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.’ Proverbs 17:22(NLT)

Scripture: “A joyful heart is good medicine.” – Proverbs 17:22a NIV

Devotional: If I had to sum up life with David, I’d say it’s all about LOL. We laugh out loud, and we love out loud. Truly, we have so much fun as a married couple! 

In our marriage we have discovered that sometimes the best counseling session for us is a big dose of laughter. Sometimes David and I don’t need to talk, we just need to laugh. Laughter is medicine to our souls. Laughter helps to break up the tough stuff. Laughter is one way to break the ice when things are feeling cold in the home. 

We have had so many opportunities to smile and laugh together over the years that it’s become a habit. I know every marriage works differently, but David promised me, a long time ago, that he would keep me smiling to keep me from crying. He never wanted us to get so serious about life that we forgot to laugh. Part of keeping marriage fresh means being willing to do silly things, take funny pictures, laugh until we cry, and enjoy each other’s company through every situation and in every circumstance. 

Many marriages suffer because they haven’t yet understood the importance of balancing the serious things in life with joy. We love the Lord, but we also know how to have fun. We know how to spend time with family, dance together, and share together, and then go and worship when it’s time to worship. To everything there is a season. Can you laugh out loud with your spouse and enjoy each other without any extra fanfare? It’s never too late to revive the laughter. The joy is worth it! I’m telling you—most of the things we argue about, we end up laughing over.

WILL YOU PRAY WITH US? 

God of compassion, God of love, you created love, joy, and laughter to remind us not to take life too seriously. Laughter is medicine for the soul, and we pray that you will help us to nurture a loving, peaceful marriage that brings joy in our home. Help us to be honest about our needs, and give us eyes only for each other. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1.  How important is fun in your marriage on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being extremely important)? 

2.  When is the last time you and your spouse laughed together until you cried?

3.  What is the primary thing hindering you from having a fun, joy-filled marriage? What can you do to enhance the joy in your marriage?

from Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, & Family by David & Tamela Mann

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FRIENDSHIP

‘A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.’ Proverbs 17:17(NLT)

Scripture: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” -Proverbs 17:17 NIV

Devotional: Tam and I met when we were both nineteen years old. We didn’t know much about life when we met one another, but before we decided to date, we were ride-or-die friends. During those friendship years, we got a chance to teach each other. There was no pressure to pretend or act like something we weren’t, because, as friends, we just wanted to do life together—no strings attached. Your friendship should be the thing your relationship is built on so that you have something solid to fall back on. Because one day your spouse will not just need their husband or wife . . . they will need their friend.

As Christians, we build our marriage on our faith—our Lord and Savior— first and foremost. But directly after that, it’s all about our friendship. Marriage has shown us that there is, indeed, a friend that sticks closer than a brother. We see each other overwhelmed and afraid, and we still choose to love each other. 

Tam has stood in my corner on my worst days, and she still loves me. If we are eating a meal from the dollar menu of a fast-food restaurant or in the banquet hall of the White House, my friend is there with me. If we are walking the streets of a new country or feeding the poor, my friend is there with me. When Tam buried her mom and sang at her loved ones’ funerals, her friend was there. I love the whole person that I see when I see Tamela Mann. And she loves the whole person that she sees when she sees me. If she hurts my feelings or if I disappoint her, we have learned how to get through it together because a friend who loves is a friend who forgives. 

WILL YOU PRAY WITH US?

Father, help us to see each other the way you see us. You forgave us while we were at our worst. Give us the grace to forgive each other until we reach our best. We can’t do this without you. We love you and we love each other. Show us the big picture. Reveal the root to every issue. Thank you for our friendship. Thank you for my spouse, who reminds me that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. When we feel overwhelmed, remind us of our never-ending bond and love for each other. Help us to remember the memories that brought us together and not the mistakes that tore us apart. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.  What do you love the most about your friend (spouse)? What do you admire the most about your friend?

2.  Recall a memory that constantly reminds you of the beauty of your friendship with your spouse.

3.  What can you do to revive the friendship in your marriage? Develop a plan and work on it together.

from Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, & Family by David & Tamela Mann

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MISSION

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’ Ephesians 5:21(NLT)

Scripture: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” -Ephesians 5:21 NIV

Devotional: David and David Jr. love to watch football. They know what it’s like to see the coach giving a play to his quarterback, but when the quarterback starts the play, he calls an audible and does his own thing. In my opinion marriage will never work if spouses are always calling audibles. The beauty of marriage is accountability and partnership. Cooperation is the highest form of marital partnership. When we cooperate, we are willing to submit to our spouse and our spouse is willing to submit to us. Quite simply, cooperation cannot happen without submission. 

Eek! There goes that word—submission. Where I grew up, the preacher would talk about submission, and to me it always sounded like women were only supposed to do what their husbands told them to do. That didn’t sound like marriage to me; it sounded like slavery. But when I began to read the Scriptures for myself, and most importantly, when I fell in love with David Mann, submission became an easier concept to understand. See, Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” But one verse above that says, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (v. 21, emphasis added). I now understand that marriage isn’t only about wives submitting to husbands. Marriage is about both husband and wife submitting to each other. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. When we submit to each other, we help the world see the love Christ has for his church. 

If submission means to get under a mission, then what is the mission that you and your spouse can submit to, or get under, in order to bring your family into a fruitful life? Your mission doesn’t have to be a long statement, but every family should have a goal by which they live. Every family should have a standard that they aim to reach toward. No one will get it perfect all the time, but the goal is a marker that helps you to stay focused on one another. 

WILL YOU PRAY WITH US? 

Creator of all things, in the beginning you made the heavens and the earth. You spoke the world into existence, and everything you created had a purpose. As you continue to show us the purpose of our marriage, help us to collaborate and cooperate with each other. Remove any competition between us. Restore our joy and reconnect us to the things that give our marriage meaning. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1.  Do you have a mission for your marriage? If so, write it below. If not, create one below. 

2.  What are your thoughts about healthy competition in your marriage? Do you enjoy competing with each other to show love or to give affection? Why or why not? 

3.  On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your ability to work together with your spouse? 

from Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, & Family by David & Tamela Mann

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COLLABORATION

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ‘ Ecclesiastes 4:9(NLT)

Scripture: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” -Ecclesiastes 4:9 NIV

Devotional: For all these years Tam and I have been putting our minds together and working through life’s hurdles and challenges. Rarely do you see one of us without the other. Our mind-set is: if we started as a team, then we will finish as a team. The only way to win is as a team. I don’t make any major decisions without her input, and she doesn’t make any major decisions without my input. I trust her perspective and she trusts mine. But this kind of collaboration doesn’t happen overnight. It grows once you commit to working on the same team. We have to be willing to say no to our independent agenda and say yes to us working together. 

Marriage is not about you. It is about bringing life to others, starting with your spouse. 

A good marriage doesn’t just happen by accident; it happens on purpose. Every single time I talk to Tam, I have to decide to speak lovingly. Every time there is a disagreement, I have to choose to love anyway. Many people get the impression that a good marriage has to be an easy marriage. But that’s not true. Nobody’s marriage stays together because the people are perfect. Nobody’s marriage stays together because they always agree. Marriages that weather the storm do so because they decided, “We started as a team; we are going to end as a team.” 

WILL YOU PRAY WITH US? 

Lord God, you designed our marriage for a purpose. You knew the end of our story before we were born. You created us to be an answer to a problem in the world. Reveal your will for our marriage. Show us the purpose of our union. Anything that may disrupt our peace or compromise our collaboration, please remove it. We desire to please you and want to work together as a team. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1.  What gifts do you as a married couple bring to the world? What problem does your marriage seek to answer? 

2.  What ministry do you have together? What passions do you share? 

3.  How can you better collaborate with your spouse? How can you work together to bring out the best in each other? 

4.  Who have been models of healthy marriage for you? How have they impacted your marriage, and what aspects do you see in their marriage that you would like to see better incorporated into your marriage? 

from Us Against the World: Our Secrets to Love, Marriage, & Family by David & Tamela Mann