Tag: Living Room Reset

‘Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord — the thing I seek most— is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord ’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock.’ Psalms 27:3-5(NLT)

I can’t believe we are already on the last day. Congratulations on sticking with it and almost completing the entire plan. There is so much great content from our live Living Room Reset events that it was actually pretty tricky to write this. I pray with all my heart that this plan has been an encouragement to you as you navigate family life. And I hope to be able to meet you in person when I come to your city. Alright, let’s wrap this thing. 

If I had to sift through all that I know about raising kids and leave you with just one more principle, I would choose this: Keep their hearts. Family is primarily about relationship. Our homes are not supposed to be a correctional facility. It’s so easy to get into an adversarial place with our kids. If this happens, I believe we need to put down the rod of correction and regain their heart. Why? Because if we lose their heart, we’ve lost the battle. Nothing is worth burning the relational bridge between your and your child, no matter what they do. Imagine if God gave up on us because of our bad behavior. We would have no hope!  If you disconnect from your kids relationally and settle into a “me vs. you” attitude, their opportunity to benefit from your wisdom will be lost on deaf ears. Relationship. Relationship. Relationship.  

Chelsea calls it “tying heartstrings.” She pictures tying strings of joy and fellowship between her heart and the hearts of our kids, one word at a time, one smile at a time, one activity at a time. She’s much better at this than I am. Sure, we need to correct and discipline our kids when necessary, but Chelsea makes sure that the overall tone, the morale of our home is one of joy and laughter. Smiles instead of scowls. 

One way to keep your child’s heart through the young years, teen years, and all the way through life is to remember to have fun with them. I know that doesn’t sound super-spiritual, but I believe it’s really important. And it makes sense. We all love to be with, listen to and take advice from the people that enjoy us and are fun to be around, not the ones who are stressed out, uptight, and critical of our every move.  What do you think your kids would have fun doing together with you? Surprise them! Sometimes it’s taking one of your kids away on a “father/daughter date” or a dad and son outing.  Sometimes it’s playing that 10,000th game of Sorry (although playing it with a six-year-old might make you question your salvation!). Sometimes it can be as simple as picking a movie they want to watch, making their favorite snack, and sitting on the couch and just being together. But the key is actually being together, which is very different than just being in the same room (while we check email).  It’s making our kids feel special, important, and valued. 

In this crazy fast-paced world we live in, this type of fun and relaxation has to be planned, or it may never happen. 

Live It Out: Yup…you guessed it…think of something fun to do. Grab one of your kids, or all of your kids, and show them you value them. Be spontaneous or pre-plan a time together. Whether it’s 15 minutes, or an entire day, do it today and enjoy! 

To learn more about Living Room Reset and to reserve your seat, go to KirkCameron.com. Spoiler Alert: there’s this totally rad ticket called the “Mike Seaver’s 80’s Bus Party” that you gotta check out. Only 8 tickets are available per event though. Can’t wait to see you on the road, and be sure to come up and tell me that you completed this plan! 

from Living Room Reset by Kirk Cameron

‘Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. ‘ 1 Peter 5:3(NLT)

Today, I want to highlight a simple biblical principle. If that has made all the difference in our family when it comes to parenting our six kids. It has changed EVERYTHING. Here it is; Strive to be the kind of person you want your children to become. 

How many times have you seen a parent lose it in a grocery store or in a restaurant, desperately trying to pacify an out of control kid before their good reputation is completely lost? Once, I saw a dad yell at his son, screaming the words, “Stop screaming or you’ll be in trouble!” As Chelsea likes to say, “You can’t bad attitude your kids out of a bad attitude.” Kids naturally play follow the leader. You’re the leader. One pastor put it this way- Try to be a picture of what you want to see in your kids. In other words, more is caught than taught. Kids learn to copy what they see. If you want your kids to have self-control, then model it for them. If you want them to be kind and compassionate, then model those things. Charles Spurgeon, the great “Prince of Preachers” said the secret to successful parenting is to “train up a child in the way he should go and then make sure you go that way yourself!”

Since there are no perfect parents, we’ll make mistakes, occasionally lose our cool, and break our own rules. When this happens, rejoice! It lets your kids know that you’re just like them and are also in need of God’s kindness, forgiveness, and strength to try again. Admitting to our children when we are wrong, and asking them for forgiveness is not a weakness, it is a strength! When you do this, you are modeling for them how to respond to a guilty conscience and seek to make things right. They’ll need to know how to do this quickly with friends, siblings, and one day, their own spouse. “Do as I say, not as I do” just won’t work. Instead, tell your kids to follow you as you strive to follow Christ.  The promise of God is that if we “train up our children in the way they should go when they are old, they will not depart from it.” 

Live It Out: Think about a quality you want to see developed more fully in one or more of your children. How often do you think your child has seen this quality modeled by you and your spouse? Dailly? Weekly? Less often? Purpose today to create an activity or an environment where you can live out this needed character quality by intentionally showing your kids what it looks like. For me, I want my kids to value reading God’s Word and celebrating his faithfulness in our family’s life, so I’m going to make a killer breakfast this weekend and gather up for a family devotional where we read the Bible and count our blessings.

from Living Room Reset by Kirk Cameron

‘For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:25-33(NLT)

“I dated her, married her, told her I loved her. It’s been 20 years. If I change my mind, I’ll let her know.” No points for that guy! Anyone reading this ever thought something like this secretly (or even verbalized it…which I’m guessing didn’t end well for you)? Any ladies out there ever been on the receiving or giving end of this type of attitude? Let’s talk about this.

Look back at the opening statement… what’s wrong with it? A gold star for whoever said, “He’s taking her for granted.” Do you think your spouse would say you take him/her for granted… or that you cherish being together? I have even met some Christian couples who have made the mistake of thinking that their spouse would never leave them since they know “God hates divorce.” They end up neglecting their spouse, and to their shock, find themselves with a “Dear John letter,” alone, and full of regret. 

A friend told me a true story that has stuck with him for over 20 years, and it goes something like this. A man and his wife, Cindy, were living life as usual. Going through their day, watching life pass by from this little rock we live on as it goes around the sun, year, after year, after year. Their marriage seemed healthy, and they loved each other to the max, but there was this one thing that drove him up the wall about Cindy. We all can have our pet peeves, and this was his; no matter how many decades he asked his wife to stop doing this one thing, she continued to do it, day after day, year after year. He struggled with how annoyed he felt at her, but nothing compared to the way he reacted on the 18th of November. Nearly every day of their married lives, she left her slippers right there in the middle of the floor, in front of the bathroom door, for him to trip over. No amount of effort could change her habit, and there those slippers were every morning, staring at him, mocking him, taunting him. It lit him up. Every. Single. Day. Except for the 18th of November. 

On that fateful morning, he woke up and walked right past the bathroom door, and FINALLY, there were no slippers to trip him. That day, it was a slipperless doorway, free of the daily frustration that had harassed him all those years. But today he wanted nothing more in life than to trip over those silly slippers. He longed to see them there that day, because, on the 17th of November, Cindy passed away. Those slippers no longer annoy him, and it crushes him every single morning. 

This little story wrecks me. It makes me think about that quote, “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” 

So let me leave you with this encouragement; cherish your spouse. Love him/her with everything you have every day. Look past the trivial, the annoying, and the frustrating and love like today is your first and last day together. 

Live It Out: answer this question instantly; don’t think about it. If you just found out that you only had a few hours left with your spouse, and those hours would be spent right where you are today, what would you do first? Would you simply hold your spouse close? Tell him/her how much you love and cherish them?, Take her/him on a date?, Let the world know how amazing she is or a million other things he does? Do it today. There’s no reason not to, and there are a billion reasons to do it. 

from Living Room Reset by Kirk Cameron

‘Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT)

Alright…let’s dive right in. 

On Day 1, we laid the foundation of what a “Living Room Reset” is. We know that it touches two aspects of our family life- marriage and parenting. Over the next two days, we’ll talk about the marriage aspect and then close out the last two days of the plan discussing how to have a “Living Room Reset” when it comes to parenting. 

I’ve been traveling the nation for many years now (decades actually…oh no…am I getting old?) speaking at events, touring churches, and creating films.  Although I’ve met thousands of couples, I’ve never met a perfect spouse.. My wife, Chelsea, is close, but even she wouldn’t volunteer herself as the sinless spouse! I’ve met many who might like to think they’re perfect, but who of us truly believes that?

We know we make mistakes in our marriage every week…maybe every couple days (if we’re honest)…or perhaps every single day. We’re all still works in progress. God’s not through with us yet! When we got married, we were two sinners who came together and said, “I do.” In God’s workshop called “marriage,” we are being continually shaped and molded to become more like Jesus- more loving, more kind, more patient, more selfless. Often, we make relational mistakes with the one person we love the most. At times it’s small mistakes, but other times we can make some real epic blunders, causing some real growing pains in our marriage. When we’re hurt, the walls go up, and an obligation is created- “You owe me!” Been there? I’ve found there is only one way to start the healing process: forgiveness. 

A well-known pastor friend of mine defined forgiveness as “releasing someone from the debt that occurred when they hurt you.” I like that. And the freeing part of true forgiveness is that it does not require a response from the guilty party. Forgiveness is firstly between you and God. It is coming to God and being honest about the hurt you feel, the betrayal you’ve experienced, the loss you’ve incurred. And there at the cross, where you and I received forgiveness, we lay down our anger, our revenge, and our bitterness, asking God to help us treat the offender as “forgiven.” The Bible instructs us in Ephesians 4, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

So just as there are two parts to a Living Room Reset (personal and family), so there are two parts to forgiveness- The first part is you going to God (the one who’s forgiven you) and laying down your hurt, asking for the strength to show kindness to someone who doesn’t deserve it (that’s called grace). The second part is between you and the person you’re trying to forgive. By God’s grace, you begin showing them kindness, even when you don’t feel like it. This is difficult. But when you fail at this process, go back to the cross and try again. Don’t go back to bitterness and anger; go to the cross, where you found an endless supply of mercy and grace. 

One of the greatest joys in life is knowing someone for a long time! If we don’t learn how to forgive, we’ll continually find ourselves looking for new friends, a new spouse, a new church… and never experience the precious gift of lifelong relationships. 

Live It Out: Think about the past week or so. Can you think of a practical reason to begin the journey of forgiveness with your spouse? Remember, don’t wait for your spouse to apologize for a wrong before you start the process of forgiveness. When it gets difficult, remember the 2-step strategy. Don’t let your feelings dictate your actions. Obey God, and eventually, He will produce new feelings. You can do it!

from Living Room Reset by Kirk Cameron

‘Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. ‘ Mark 3:25(NLT)

I know what you’re thinking… “I have no idea what a Living Room Reset is” but yet you found yourself intrigued enough to start this plan. I can’t wait to spend the next five days with you, taking a glance at what a Living Room Reset is, how it can transform your marriage and your family, and sharing why I’ve decided to take a large portion of my year traveling the nation talking about it. 

Let me start by saying that family is meant to come together and rally, both in good times and in tough times. Think about it-the living room in all of our homes is a place where important moments are shared. The “we’re having a baby” moments, the heart-breaking “Grandma has passed away” moments, and the two-hundredth ballerina dance-show your little princess put on. All of these often take place in the living room…or at least they used to. 

The 21st-century family has largely forgotten about the living room we once knew. The quiet family time in the living room has been replaced by that epic surround sound system, and the focused attention we used to give each other has been given away to Netflix. Don’t get me wrong, I think flat-screen TVs and testosterone-fueled audio systems are God’s way of telling every man on earth that He loves him, but has it actually taken more from our families than we realize? 

A “Living Room Reset” has two parts;  a personal reset and a family reset. 

Some signs that you may need a personal reset are when: You you wake up in the morning and don’t want to get out of bed, exhausted, fearing you don’t have the resources to make it through the day. When your plate is full, and your heart is empty. A personal reset is definitely needed when you have private struggles in your life and you sense the ticking time-bomb that could destroy your marriage and everything you’ve worked so hard for. And the worst part is knowing that the ones who will likely be hurt the most by your poor choices are your kids. ”Lord, help me with MY choices, MY  attitudes, and MY reactions.”- that’s a personal reset.

Once a personal reset is underway, it’s time to start looking at a family reset. A family reset is that moment when you dust off the proverbial living room sofa, gather the family and simply talk- about how the family is doing. About challenges, struggles, progress and victories in your relationships, finances, your home, your health, and anything else you want to talk about 

This year, as I’ve toured the nation on the Living Room Reset tour, some have said, “Everything is going great…we don’t really need a reset.” But this misses the point of what a Living Room Reset is all about! It’s spending time together when things are going great and when life is challenging consistently doing life together. That way, when trouble comes to your family,  you’re set up to be able to handle whatever comes your way.

Now that we have a general idea of what a Living Room Reset is, we’ll be able to hit the ground running from here and get closer and closer to having epic Living Room Resets in our homes. Also, there’s some great video content for all future days in this plan; I hope you enjoy!

Live It Out: this section will be found at the end of each day. Remember, a “Living Room Reset” is an action, not just a phrase, so take this section seriously and do everything you can to live it out THAT DAY. For today, simply begin to prepare your heart for what lies ahead in this plan. Think about including your spouse on this plan and do it together. Whether together or alone, pray the Lord shows you exactly what He wants you to see. 

from Living Room Reset by Kirk Cameron