Tag: Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.’ Matthew 5:23-24(NLT)

Say these words right now out loud: “It was my fault.” “I’m sorry.” “You were right.”

That was a struggle, wasn’t it? Those words come hard out of my mouth, and you probably don’t say them very often yourself. We like to be right. We like the moral high ground of remembering clearly the faults of others. We excel at justifying our own words and actions and can easily find fault with the other guy.

We would rather prolong an argument than enter a discussion where we might have to admit wrong. Jesus stunned his hearers yet again when he showed them that reconciliation with a brother or sister is even more important than going to church. “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23,24).

It does not show spiritual strength to hold out and give the other person the silent treatment. That in fact is lazy and weak. We show spiritual strength by going first. And don’t initiate that conversation by criticizing the other person for his or her faults. Jesus’ way for that conversation to begin is to admit your own mistakes and sins, listen humbly, and ask for forgiveness.

You may then be surprised, for gospel kindness melts cold hearts.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ‘ Matthew 5:27-28(NLT)

‘The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.’ 1 Corinthians 7:4(NLT)

One of the great improvements in city life has been the disappearance of X-rated movie houses. Those sleazy joints offered voyeuristic thrills for sad and lonely men, but were also magnets for robbery and prostitution.

Alas, their disappearance is not because of a great rise in stable and happy marriages with fulfilling sex lives. They have been replaced, and their influence greatly multiplied, by the rise of shops selling X-rated DVDs, and even more so, the rise in easy availability of online pornography. By some estimates, more than 25% of all web traffic is porn-related.

Those temptations will be with us forever–we can’t control porn accessibility. What we can control is our desires and behaviors. Christian men need to stop rationalizing and making excuses. Jesus’ words were never more urgently needed than right now: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27,28). We need to put our time end energy not into adulterous virtual fantasy but into real relationships with real women, building strong marriages.

Christian women need to recognize the enormous power that comes with their sexuality. Wives do well to ponder Paul’s important insight: “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:4). Use that power carefully.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)

“Take my wife. Please.” For decades comedian Henny Youngman made a living off that line. It wasn’t just a gag. As with all comedy, there was enough truth in that contemptuous statement that enough husbands resonated with it and it became part of his brand. I doubt if too many women thought it funny.

I don’t think God does either. At the beginning of time, God noted that it was not good for the man to be alone, and so he made a helper suitable for him. Now many thousands of years later, together is still better than alone. A believing wife is a man’s faith encourager #1, his truth teller, comforter, image manager, and nurturer of children.

A good wife helps her guy better understand how the female half of the world thinks and operates. She is a great advisor on fashion, appropriate social behaviors, tending relationships, and how a home ought to look. Any husband can make a list of his wife’s failings (as she could his). A much better exercise is for every husband to take inventory of how richly God has blessed his life through his wife.

Men, say this with me: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Ask any widower.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.’ Proverbs 17:14(NLT)

Home sweet home? Alas, not always. You’d like to think that your home would be a steady refuge from conflict in the business world, but sometimes it’s the reverse–the bitterest quarrels and deepest pain arise between people who on other occasions say that they love each other.

How can that be? Well, remember that sinful parents give birth to sinful children, who are little ego-monsters by nature. They don’t need to go to school or summer camp to learn how to argue and talk back. Remember that a marriage joins two sinners together and inevitably our inborn and ingrown selfishness sprouts.

What to do? Train yourself to listen for the signs of temper, emotion, fatigue, and miscommunication. Respect what out-of-control mouths can do to destroy a relationship. “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out” (Proverbs 17:14).

It’s not necessary for you to show that you’re right all the time. You can yield gracefully if you choose. You can manage your brain and mouth to show that healing is more important in your home than being right.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

One of the teasers and puzzles that sustains interest in a marriage over many decades is the fact that you never fully comprehend your partner. Men and women are tantalizingly wired differently from each other. Their perceptions about money, romance, communication, time, and appropriate social behaviors can be significantly different.

God built us with these differences to enrich our lives. Satan would like to use them as wedges to drive us apart. Spouses who assume that their partner thinks just like them will grow frustrated and irritated.

The apostle Peter had a mother-in-law, so he must have had a wife too. She undoubtedly taught Peter a lot about how the female half of the human race perceived things. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives” (1 Peter 3:7). In this passage, the Greek words translated “be considerate” literally mean to live with your wife “according to knowledge.” In other words, study her. Pay attention to her words, face, needs, nonverbal communication. Attune yourself to her–don’t assume that she looks at the world as you do.

Wives, you can help your husbands in their study of you. Begin sentences occasionally with the words, “I want . . .” They speak a different dialect of English from you–do not assume that they can read your mind. Marriage is a dance–pay attention to your partner.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:’ Proverbs 31:28(NLT)

Dear Lord, I don’t thank you enough for my wife. Come to think of it, I don’t thank her enough either. She brings many unique strengths and values into our family, things I don’t or can’t provide. I have learned a lot about people and relationships from her; she has made me a better man.

At the end of the book of Proverbs you describe a fictional woman and all the benefits she brings to her husband and family. Those words can help wives strive for improvement and excellence, but it is even more important that they inspire her beneficiaries (the kids and me) to appreciate her even more. “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:28). I am a poor, miserable sinner and do not deserve anything from you. I am grateful for your gift of a life partner. Help me become a better husband. Help me do what you invite and praise her more.

Bless her today, Lord. Shelter and protect her with your holy angels. Don’t let her worries and fears steal her joy. Don’t let her caring heart allow constant emotional storms inside her. Help her to be patient with me and to find satisfaction in all she does to build our family and home.

I want to thank you today. And thank her.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace

‘Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table.’ Psalms 128:3(NLT)

Dear Lord, I don’t thank you enough for my husband. Come to think of it, I don’t thank him enough either. He brings a lot of stability into my often turbulent life. I know I take him for granted. I often get upset, and then I see with such clarity all his faults, faults I just can’t seem to forget. When I’m angry, all my past irritations come flooding back and just keep accumulating.

Lord, I need your forgiveness and your help. Help me let go of all my past guilt and anger. I need to listen to your description of a happy home: “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house” (Psalm 128:3). Help my husband see me as a beautiful and fruitful vine, not constant crabgrass taking over every room of the house.

Bless my husband today. Help him find fulfillment in his work. Help him feel respected, both in his workplace and especially in our home. Help him be the spiritual leader I want to see in our family, and help me to be more patient when I don’t get what I want as fast as I want. Help me to explain clearly what I need from him, and give me the grace to dial in to his needs as well.

I want to thank you today for my husband. And thank him.

from Home Sweet Home: Devotions from Time of Grace