Tag: Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2

‘Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.’ 2 Timothy 2:22(NLT)

‘O Lord , if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone!’ Jeremiah 17:14(NLT)

‘Let all that I am praise the Lord ; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!’ Psalms 103:2-5(NLT)

Devotional Content:

So what happens if everything seems to match up for several months and then suddenly you notice some red flags? If you are seeing red flags in your relationship, they need to be dealt with. Even if your relationship seemed destined for marriage, if you see red flags you should not ignore them.

I recommend that couples date for at least a year before entering into marriage. There is nothing magical about the one-year rule, but there is something to be said about going through one full year of life together dating before going into marriage. It allows you to get past the infatuation that a new relationship has and settle into a resemblance of normal reality.

Time in a relationship before marriage provides opportunity for the red flags to pop up.

Red flags should not be ignored. They have to be dealt with, even if it means the death of the relationship. It is far better to end a relationship on this side of the altar than on the other side. Ending a relationship is painful, but not nearly as painful as divorce.

Today’s Challenge:

Are your friends and family in support of your relationship? If not, why not?

Going Deeper:

Take a time-out to spend time looking honestly at your relationship. Pray and ask God to help you see if there are any red flags in your relationship. Remember that red flags have to be dealt with and that ending a relationship now is easier, and less hurtful, than a marriage ending in divorce.

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ‘ Ephesians 5:31-32(NLT)

‘“For I hate divorce!” says the Lord , the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, ” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”’ Malachi 2:16(NLT)

Devotional Content:

It is not uncommon to have cold feet at some point during the engagement process. If they are honest, most people will say that at some point doubts crossed their mind.

It is not totally concerning if you experience cold feet. It is, however, concerning if these doubts persist or are not resolved. Doubts should not be carried into marriage. Marriage is tough enough without having a ton of doubts. A couple needs to enter marriage 100% committed to each other and to the covenant of marriage.

Don’t carry your doubts over into marriage.

Today’s Challenge:

Dr. Kim shares that it is not unusual to have cold feet before marriage. The concern is when doubts persist or if they are not resolved. If you are or were having doubts, do your doubts persist? Have they been resolved?

Going Deeper:

Dr. Kim shares that a couple needs to be 100% committed to each other and the covenant of marriage. Are you committed to your significant other? To the covenant of marriage?

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. ‘ Colossians 4:5(NLT)

‘If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ‘ James 1:5(NLT)

Devotional Content:

There are a lot of concerns and questions when a relationship ends and one of the people wants to start the relationship again.

You need to carefully weigh the positives and negatives and prepare to face the possibility that it may not work the second time around.

There are several things to think about before committing to your ex:

• Stay realistic about why you ended the relationship in the first place.
• Don’t let your reunion be motivated by sex. You need a better foundation for marriage than just physical pleasure.
• There is great value in knowing when to let go and move on.

Remember it is better to let a relationship go before marriage than to marry when things are shaky and end up in divorce.

If you and your ex are set on rekindling your relationship, remember that it takes two people to build an awesome marriage so you should be equally putting work in the relationship. Go to counseling separately and as a couple and identify the changes that you need to make to make this relationship work. Take it slow and be open to God’s direction.

Today’s Challenge:

If you are seriously considering getting back into a relationship that ended, ask yourself, “Am I committed to making things work this time?”

Going Deeper:

Pray and ask God for wisdom in making this decision.

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘They all met together and were constantly united in prayer, along with Mary the mother of Jesus, several other women, and the brothers of Jesus.’ Acts of the Apostles 1:14(NLT)

‘Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:24-25(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Dating and getting married is a process and it takes time. Couples need to spend time together getting to know each other.

Distance can complicate this for many couples, but having a healthy long distance relationship is possible with the right use of time and resources.

There are things you can do to effectively connect with each other often and bridge that distance gap. Here are a few simple and creative things you can do to connect with each other:

• Call and text each other often
• Keep up with each other via social media
• Communicate through video tools online and with your smart phone
• Text each other pictures of yourself and what you are doing throughout the day to include them in your day
• Mail small but meaningful gifts to each other
• Journal thoughts and things you want to share with your significant other when you speak with them
• Mail each other old-fashioned handwritten letters

Nothing really takes the place of being together in the same place, so plan to get together as often as possible.

It is important for a couple to live in the same city before taking the marriage step. If your relationship is moving closer to marriage, I strongly urge you to move closer together and try a more normal dating relationship before entering into marriage.

All relationships take work, and long-distance relationships are no different.

Today’s Challenge:

Dr. Kim shares that distance complicates growing the relationship but that if you use the right tools, you can have a healthy long-distance relationship. Whether or not you are in a long-distance relationship, what are five things you can do to communicate better with your significant other?

Going Deeper:

All relationships take work. What can you do this week to show your significant other you are willing to work at your relationship?

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 4:3(NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Many people believe that cohabitation is a normal step in the dating relationship. Cohabitation has become acceptable and even encouraged. Many people believe that it is wise to “test” the relationship this way before committing to marriage, but take a look at these statistics:

• Within a year, 50% of these cohabitation relationships collapse, and within five years, 90% collapse.
• Couples who cohabitate are twice as likely to divorce as couples who do not live together before marriage.
• Married couples who cohabitated before marriage have lower levels of marital satisfaction, higher marital instability, and more negative communication than couples who waited until marriage to live together.
• Couples who cohabitate before marriage are less sexually exclusive before and after marriage than those who didn’t cohabitate.
• Newly married couples who cohabitated prior to marriage have a higher rate of domestic violence.

Those who live together before marriage disregard God’s plan for marriage that a man and woman should come together exclusively in a marriage relationship.

God is the God of the universe. He is all knowing and He created us, so I believe we can trust His plan for marriage and that it is wisest to follow His teachings.

God’s plan for marriage works; cohabitation doesn’t.

Today’s Challenge:

Dr. Kim shares some stats about cohabitation. How do these facts affect your thoughts on cohabitation?

Going Deeper:

God’s plan for marriage works. If you agree, make a commitment to do things God’s way. If you disagree, what is holding you back from trusting in God’s plan for marriage?

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:18(NLT)

‘The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.’ 1 Corinthians 10:13(NLT)

‘Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. ‘ Ephesians 5:3(NLT)

Devotional Content:

When you are preparing for marriage, thoughts and conversations about sex are common. People want to know how far it is okay to go when it comes to sex. Here are common questions I get asked about sex from dating and engaged couples:

• How far can we go?
• How far is too far?
• Is oral sex okay?
• What can we do sexually that isn’t sex?
• Can we live together before we get married?

Do you see anything in common in those questions? It’s like people are asking: How close can I get to the fire without getting burned?

These are the wrong questions to ask. I want to challenge you. Instead of asking how close can you get to the fire without getting burned, ask yourself: How far away from the fire can I get?

Most of us can rationalize anything we want to, but the reality is, the closer you get to the fire, the easier it is for you to get burned. You have sexual desires and urges, and if you put yourself in tempting situations, it is going to be harder to remain pure.

So I want to challenge those of you that are not married: Instead of asking yourself what you can do sexually and trying to figure that out, spend your time and energy getting to know the person you are dating in a way that doesn’t tempt you sexually. Strive to do things that draw you closer to God, not further away from God.

Today’s Challenge:

Dr. Kim challenges us to ask a new question. Instead of “How close can I get to the fire without getting burned?” ask yourself, “How far away from the fire can I get?” What would it look like for you to ask yourself this new question?

Going Deeper:

Pray and ask God to help you focus on getting to know the person you are in a relationship with, and ask for His help in delaying the sexual part of the relationship until marriage.

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling