Tag: Experiencing An Extraordinary Marriage

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT)

Watch today’s clip as Nancy Horton shares her renewed commitment to her husband.  

This passage in 1 Corinthians is often read at weddings because regardless of the couple’s religious commitment, their goals for love can be found in the 15 concepts listed in these four verses.

• Patience

• Kindness

• No envy of the other

• No selfish boasting

• No selfish pride

• No dishonor of the other

• No self-seeking

• Not easily angered

• No record of wrongs kept toward the other

• No evil

• Committed to truth

• Always being protective

• Always trusting

• Always hoping

• Always persevering

The stark reality is these qualities cannot be attained without the life of Christ being manifested in the marriage. One of the ways we can know this truth is to replace the word “love” with the name of “Jesus” in this passage and, suddenly, it all makes sense. Because God is love and as verse 8 begins: “Love never fails,” because He never fails. 

The context of a marriage relationship that will both experience and display these 15 qualities can only be in and through both spouses having a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Let’s close out this study by looking at three ways Christ’s brand of love can help us to see, think, and live differently than our culture to have extraordinary marriages.

• Christ’s love gives us a different place to look.

The hope of a future in Heaven encourages us to keep looking forward and fix our eyes on Jesus, not on this world. For the Christian, the best really is yet to come.

• Christ’s love gives us a different way to think.

Focusing on eternity creates a positive, optimistic, “glass half-full” mindset. The person with an attitude of hope will not only be a healthier person, but also draw others to Christ by their very being.

• Christ’s love gives us a different life to live.

We all desperately want to enjoy life. We want to feel contentment and live in the hope of a good day and a brighter tomorrow. New life in Christ is not only a different way to live, but also the best way to live. 

Review today’s list of qualities from 1 Corinthians 13. Zero in just one that you struggle with and ask God to help His love overcome you in that area.

from Experiencing An Extraordinary Marriage

‘But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Mark 10:6-9(NLT)

In this passage, Jesus was connecting Moses’ words as to how God created male and female to be distinct creations to the “one flesh” concept for how God views the marital commitment. Christ connected this picture of a man and a woman committing fully to one another before the Father.

A great example of how we convey this concept today is in our social communication. Here’s an example: “We’re going to dinner tonight with Bob-n-Nancy.” We do not separate the male and female out distinctly any longer, but often voice their names as if it is one phrase.

To give you a proper analogy of this one flesh idea, consider a roll of duct tape. Imagine tearing off two pieces that are each six inches long. Separate, these two pieces of tape are very sticky. They are two individual components ready to bond. If you take those two pieces and carefully connect those sticky sides together, matching up corner to corner all the way around both pieces, you will quickly and effectively no longer have two pieces of tape, but one single unit. Why? Because the two have now bonded as according to their purpose. This is a simple picture of “the two will become one flesh.”

Watch today’s clip displaying the challenges couples face and how different goals can work to try and separate the one flesh union. 

Now, back to our duct tape analogy. An interesting fact about two pieces of this tape is that once they are stuck together, you can never separate them again without destroying both pieces. In fact, once they are joined together no one, regardless of strength or dexterity, can effectively separate the two. It is impossible. This is such a great representation of the same impossibility of “what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The union between a man and woman in marriage is sacred. From Genesis to Revelation, we find no other option or substitution offered, suggested, or given other than this one flesh union for marriage.

What is one way you could make your own one flesh union more “sticky” today to bond deeper with your spouse?

from Experiencing An Extraordinary Marriage

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:1-2(NLT)

The first action Paul encourages us to take is to respond to what God has done for us by offering ourselves as living sacrifices to Him. But for a sacrifice to be given, yet still remain alive, it must be in a continual state of dying while also living. This is also a very healthy commitment for a spouse to make in marriage because one can then continually practice putting God first and the marriage second before self.

The second action is experienced when sacrifice begins to produce personal holiness. This spiritual growth will then result in a greater opportunity for an extraordinary marriage. When a couple committed to Christ grows together in holiness, amazing worship is produced in and through their relationship, thereby glorifying God.

The third step is transformation through Christ from the mind being renewed. A couple who centers their marriage on the truth of God’s Word will both transform to the image of Christ as well as experience renewal in who they are, both individually and corporately.

The final outcome for the believer is testing and approving God’s will through the transformed life. A marriage that regularly experiences daily sacrifice, growth in holiness, true worship, transformation through Christ, and constant renewal through the Word will indeed be extraordinary.

Now, let’s consider these biblical concepts as we look at the difference between happiness and holiness. For many years, the word “happy” has been used to describe a successful marriage. But you also hear many people use that same word for the disintegration of their relationship in describing how they are no longer “happy.” The problem with “happy” is it is conditional and variable, dependent upon external circumstances and internal moods. So we must ask the question: Is God’s intention for marriage simply to make us happy?

Holiness is far more likely to be the goal God has for us. When we seek to be “holy and pleasing to God” then we focus on Him and our spouse, therefore we can better weather our varying conditions and selfish preferences.

Watch today’s clip depicting the common struggles so many marriages deal with today in balancing happiness and holiness. 

Is there an area in your marriage where you are focusing more on your personal happiness than on passionate holiness? How can you surrender to allow Christ to transform your heart and renew your mind today?

from Experiencing An Extraordinary Marriage

‘“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”’ Matthew 7:24-27(NLT)

A congregation was constructing a new church building at another location in the city. The pastor decided to go out and visit the job site for the first time. As he walked up and put on his hardhat, he saw three bricklayers working alone on three different walls. 

The pastor went to the first bricklayer and asked, “What are you doing today, sir?” The man answered in a frustrated tone, “I’m setting this brick.” He then went to the second bricklayer and asked, “What are you doing today, sir?” The man answered, “I’m trying to get this wall built.” He then walked to the third and final bricklayer and asked, ‘What are you doing today, sir?” The man smiled and answered, “I’m building a great cathedral!” 

You could walk up to three different husbands or wives today to separately ask them about their marriages and quite possibly get very similar answers as the bricklayers gave. Some will just be co-existing, trying to merely survive another day. Others seem happy and satisfied at simply doing life together. But then there will be a precious few that realize they are building something beautiful and extraordinary as a couple. Something they could never build alone. And something they could never build without God being right in the midst of their relationship.

Watch today’s clip of David Horton explaining how He knows that God is the foundation of his family life to his new Russian friend. 

So many marriages today have built their relational foundations on sinking sand, not on the stability and firm foundation that Christ offers to any couple that will surrender their lives to Him. That is exactly why when the storms of life threaten, their “house” crashes down around them. 

But then there are the extraordinary marriages that choose together to build on Christ, making Him the Rock that keeps their “house” safe and secure. Not that these couples don’t have problems — they most certainly will as all marriages experience — but they have simply decided where they will go together and on Whom they will depend.

Where is there too much “sand” in your marriage today? How can you exchange that area for the solid rock of Jesus Christ?

from Experiencing An Extraordinary Marriage

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:21-33(NLT)

In this passage, the apostle Paul paints a beautiful word picture of the delicate balance of mutual submission in marriage. Our twenty-first century culture has skewed this biblical concept to seem archaic, if not downright offensive, and the health of our marriages in this nation reflect this attitude.

Watch today’s clip, showing the mutual give and take, servant-hearted relationship that David and Nancy Horton came to re-discover. 

Consider this analogy for Paul’s mutual submission in biblical marriage:

Picture a large, darkened ballroom dance floor. The spotlight focuses on a couple strolling out to the center. He is in his tux and she in a beautiful, flowing gown. They look amazing. They clasp hands, embrace, and begin the dance. They move all around the floor with style and grace, giving the appearance of floating. They hover about effortlessly, both smiling and enjoying the experience. They are having fun, proud of what they have accomplished and what they are experiencing.

Now, at any point, does anyone watching this couple ask: “So, who’s leading?” No. In ballroom dancing, everyone knows the man leads and the woman is following. 

Now, if the man decides he is tired of leading and stops, or if the woman decides she is sick of following him, what happens? You got it. The dance is not so pretty anymore. Suddenly, those watching begin to concern themselves with the issue of whose at fault and what has gone wrong.

But when a couple is great at this style of dancing, you can’t tell who is leading. Why? Because if both take their respective roles while dancing, you are so mesmerized by the corporate and cooperative effort of the two moving about as one that you aren’t concerned or distracted by the question of who is leading or following. It doesn’t matter to anyone, because what is on display is simply beautiful to watch and enjoy. In fact, it is extraordinary! That’s what the heart of Ephesians 5 is all about in regards to marriage.

What is one practical step you can take today to allow Christ to lead your life? If you are married, how can you better submit to Christ in your role with your spouse?

from Experiencing An Extraordinary Marriage