Tag: Choosing Our Friends and Companions Wisely

‘Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.’ Proverbs 13:20(NLT)

‘As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.’ Proverbs 27:17(NLT)

‘Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ Matthew 7:5(NLT)

‘Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. ‘ Galatians 6:1(NLT)

Scripture teaches us not only to have godly friends but also to have wise friends. Such friends can challenge us to be better people. We need to be friends with people we can admire, people who will cause us to grow. We want to make sure that we have relationships in our lives that are mentoring relationships, relationships of accountability. 

In other words, we not only need to have friends in our lives who encourage us, tell us that we are doing great, and cheer us on. Such friends are necessary. However, we also want to have friends who will tell us the hard truth. Scripture says that such friends sharpen us as iron sharpens iron. When people tell you the truth, they propel you forward, push your limits, and cause you to grow.

It is very important to have friendships with people who are smarter than you, stronger than you, and better than you. Such people can become your mentors. All your friends should not be at the same level. You need to have friends who are a level higher than you; people who have walked the Christian walk longer than you. These are the people that will pull you from where you are to a new place. 

Spiritual mentors are people who will teach you how to fulfill the responsibilities of your Christian life. They will also provide you with accountability and correct you, as a humble correction is also one of the Christian responsibilities. The Bible teaches us that before correcting others, we must examine our lives first. The Scripture says that we need to take the beam out of our own eyes before we reach out to help a friend to take a speck out of their eyes. This analogy means that godly mentors need to live godly lives first. 

Godly mentors are people who are honest with themselves. They will run after God first. They are also people who will love you enough to correct you and lift you up. Such people will help you run after God harder. Godly mentors fulfill this biblical promise in your life: those who walk with the wise will become wise. 

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‘“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.’ Matthew 5:14-16(NLT)

‘So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”’ John 13:34-35(NLT)

‘I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. ‘ 1 Corinthians 3:6-8(NLT)

What about friends who are ungodly? What if you still have close people in your life who have not committed their lives to Christ as you have? What should you do about such friends?

You do not have to immediately break off relationships with non-Christian friends when you get saved. You can still maintain these friendships for the purpose of evangelism. Someone led you to the Lord; you can be such a leader to another person. You can lead your friends to Jesus. Sometimes, they will not listen immediately. They might push you away when you first tell them about the Lord. That is OK. When someone first tried to tell you about living for Jesus, you might not have responded with immediate acceptance either. Be patient. Keep planting seeds of the Word of God, the seeds of the Gospel. Some of your seeds might be words and some of your seeds might be your actions. 

A medieval saint, Francis of Assisi, said, “Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” The Bible echoes this sentiment when it says that unbelievers can be won over to faith by observing the lives of believers. In other words, you can still love your unbelieving friends and spend time with them. Be careful, however, to remember that the goal of such a relationship is evangelism. Your unbelieving friends should not be the primary people you ask for advice. Be honest with yourself. Make sure that you truly keep these friendships to preach the Gospel. 

Some people have non-Christian friends that they say they want to evangelize; however, they never talk to them about Jesus. They go to ballgames and concerts together, but they do not share the Gospel with them as they claim they want to do. Make sure that you talk to your unbelieving friends about God. Also, do not compromise the Word of God when you are with them. Remember, we do not reach the world for Jesus by becoming like the world. We reach the world for God’s Kingdom by being like Christ. 

God uses people who are different from the world to reach the world. This is very important in relationships and friendships. The more faithful you are in living your life according to the standards of God’s Word, the greater an evangelist you will be. So, if you see Christians in compromising relationships, feel free to ask them this straightforward question: “What are you doing to reach the unsaved person for Christ?” The more Christlike you are, the more powerful your life’s message will be to your friends. 

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‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

‘“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ Matthew 7:3-5(NLT)

‘“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.’ Matthew 18:15-17(NLT)

‘And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’’ Matthew 19:5(NLT)

‘Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord . Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.’ Romans 12:17-21(NLT)

‘Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. ‘ Galatians 6:1(NLT)

‘My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.’ James 5:19-20(NLT)

‘In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.’ 1 Peter 3:1-2(NLT)

While all Christians need to be careful with the companionships they allow in their lives, married Christian couples must be twice as careful. Your marriage is the primary human relationship that you have on this earth. The Bible even tells us that we need to leave our parents and family of origin when we get married. We need to cling to our spouse and become one with that person. This leaving not only applies to our biological families, but it also applies to our friendships. Marriage affects every relationship that we have in our lives. 

Once you get married, you are no longer single. This means that you do not have the time that you used to have to devote to your former relationships. Now, you have to devote your time, effort, and focus on your new married responsibilities. This can be especially difficult for men. Men tend to cling to ungodly relationships even when they are married. However, they need to form a bond with their wife. 

Many times, Christian wives wonder if they are allowed to address ungodly friendships in their husbands’ lives and still remain submissive and honoring them. The answer is: absolutely yes! The Bible tells us that we are our brother’s keeper. We have an obligation to raise our concerns if a Christian brother or sister is headed in any direction that is dangerous to their own soul. When that Christian is your spouse, the ungodly relationship can even endanger your home and your marriage. Therefore, it is a Christian wife’s responsibility to address such concerns. There is also a right way to do it. 

If you find yourself in a difficult situation with your husband’s friendships, you can address the matter and still honor God. Approach your husband gently without compromising your role as his helper or usurping his role as a leader in the home. The Bible teaches wives how to behave when they have disobedient husbands. The Word of God encourages such women to set their focus first on their own demeanor and on their own attitude. They need to show full devotion and submission to God first. However, submission is not silence. Godly wives can present their concerns to their husbands in a respectful manner that reflects their desire to honor God. Every Christian man needs a wife who is strong in the Lord and is not afraid to address ungodly patterns that she observes in her husband’s behavior. A godly wife is a great gift and the greatest friend.

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‘Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord , meditating on it day and night.’ Psalms 1:1-2(NLT)

‘There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.’ Proverbs 18:24(NLT)

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ‘ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT)

‘So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”’ John 13:34-35(NLT)

‘Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. ‘ Galatians 6:2(NLT)

‘Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ‘ Ephesians 4:23(NLT)

‘And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.’ Hebrews 13:16(NLT)

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:3-4(NLT)

All Christians, single or married, need to have the right companions in life. The Bible tells us that who we fellowship within our Christian journey is important. Look at your life and answer these questions. Who do you eat meals with? Who do you hang out with? Who do you share your secrets with? Whose advice do you listen to? 

Such people are your companions. These people influence you whether you admit it or not. You reflect on the people you spend time with. That is why you want to walk through life with people who love the Lord. You want to be friends with people who are pursuing the Kingdom of God and God’s holiness. In the same way that the Bible warns us about the danger of bad friendships, there are many Scriptures that tell us how important godly friends are. The book of Proverbs says that there are friends that love even more than one’s own siblings.

The book of Ecclesiastes gives a beautiful poetic description of friendship. It says that two people are better than one because they can have a good reward in each other’s relationship. A friend can lift the other one up when a person falls down. This Scripture concludes that it is a tragedy in life when someone does not have a friend to lift them up when they fall. That is why the New Testament encourages us to have godly friendships. In fact, Jesus commanded His disciples to love one another. He says that it is by our love that the world around us will know that we are Christians. 

How do we express the love of Christ for our friends? The New Testament is full of “one another” Scriptures because caring for others is the essence of Christianity. First, we need to think of others as better than ourselves and look out for their interests. We need to be kind and compassionate to one another. The Scripture tells us to pray for each other as well as to help each other materially. In fact, the Bible says that we need to carry each other’s burdens. 

Jesus knew that life in this world can be hard. That is why He instructed His disciples to build godly friendships. Christian friends will help you lift the burdens of life together. This will lighten your load. Godly friends will encourage you. Such friendships will endue your life with hope. 

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‘My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them! They may say, “Come and join us. Let’s hide and kill someone! Just for fun, let’s ambush the innocent! Let’s swallow them alive, like the grave ; let’s swallow them whole, like those who go down to the pit of death. Think of the great things we’ll get! We’ll fill our houses with all the stuff we take. Come, throw in your lot with us; we’ll all share the loot.” My child, don’t go along with them! Stay far away from their paths.’ Proverbs 1:10-15 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/PRO.1.10-15

‘Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.’ Proverbs 13:20(NLT)

‘Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.’ Proverbs 22:24-25(NLT)

‘Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” ‘ 1 Corinthians 15:33(NLT)

‘Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil ? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord . Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you.’ 2 Corinthians 6:14-17(NLT)

Have you ever heard the famous saying, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future?” Did you know that it came from the Bible? Yes! The book of Proverbs is the book in the Bible that teaches wisdom on how to live godly lives daily. This book is full of must-have advice about relationships. It also teaches us about friendships. 

The book of Proverbs starts by telling young people not to listen to sinful friends. It says that they will entice youth into evil behavior and get them into trouble. That’s right! Friends can be dangerous. Young people who listen to advice from people who are evil fall under peer pressure and do evil things. Then, they suffer the consequences of such actions. In other words, the Bible tells us to be careful who we listen to. We listen to the people we spend time with and respect; we listen to our friends. That is why evil friends can be very dangerous in our lives. 

Another passage in the book of Proverbs tells us that one should not be friends with an angry person. We should not associate with people who have a hot temper. Why? The Bible says that as we observe such people, we learn from them. Very soon, we start behaving in a similar manner. We become like the people we spend time with. 

The Old Testament is not the only place that warns us about the danger of ungodly friendships There are several Scriptures in the New Testament that teach a similar principle. In fact, these passages are very serious warnings about the quality of our friendships. For example, one Scripture tells us not to deceive ourselves, but to be aware that “bad company corrupts good character.” In another passage, the apostle Paul says that close relationships between unbelievers and believers are nearly impossible because we do not have anything in common. It is like a fellowship between light and darkness. 

Believers and unbelievers think differently. As Christians, we live our lives for a purpose different from the purposes of our non-Christian acquaintances. We want to live righteously for God; many unbelievers want to do wicked things. We do not agree about our life’s goals. As believers, we must remember that our lives belong to God. That is why friends who pull us in a direction that is different from the way the Lord wants us to go are dangerous for us. 

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