Tag: Bring Back Those Loving Feelings

‘Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.’ Song of Songs 1:2(NLT)

Prayer is a powerful tool you can freely use whenever you want to. We encourage you to pray regularly for the attraction and satisfaction of your marriage. Below are some guided prayers which you can pray word for word. But also use them as a catalyst to craft your own prayers, specifically related to your marriage.

Praising God

“Heavenly Father, You crafted our world with such beauty. You paid attention to all the minute details that surround us from flowers to trees to mountains to birds to snowflakes to the way our bodies were made. You have gifted each of us with so much beauty and life. It inspires us and nourishes our soul with strength. I praise You for Your creativity and design. You lift my spirit with Your creations and You have given me the opportunity to lift the spirit of my spouse through my own life and beauty and strength as well, whether that is internal or external. Thank You for this ability, I do not take it for granted and I want to use it to bring good to my spouse and draw them closer to me. In Christ’s name, amen.”

Presenting the Situation

Use this portion of time to honestly assess how much importance you assign to looking or being attractive for your spouse. Since you can only control what you do, be sure to focus on yourself in this section. Are there things that you have let slide – whether it’s controlling your moods, what you say or what you wear, to name a few. Is there anything you could do in order to increase your spouse’s attraction to you? Write down some things you can work on. Then pray and ask God for wisdom and self-discipline to improve in those areas. 

Prayer for Blessing

“Gracious Lord, give me insight into how I can increase my attractiveness to my spouse. Help me to choose my words wisely so what I say is sweet and affirming, rather than complaining or demanding. Give me energy so that I can bless my spouse with vitality, enthusiasm and joy. Remind me to stay mindful of how I look and what I wear. And let me be a source of pleasure to my spouse mentally, emotionally and physically. In the same way, help my spouse to be attentive to what makes them attractive to me. Reignite the flame of passion and romance between us, and keep it lit. In Christ’s name, amen.”

from Bring Back Those Loving Feelings

‘And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”’ Acts of the Apostles 20:35(NLT)

One of the ways to rekindle romance and re-ignite the flame in your marriage is to remember. Remember how things were when you first got together. What caught your partner’s eye? What stole their heart? 

It may have been your vitality, laugh or free-spirit that caused your spouse to be attracted to you when dating. If you don’t know what it was, then simply ask. For some people, attraction is related to the mind – conversation or vivacity. For others, it’s a spirit, or the way you walk, or your frequency of touch. Take time to talk about this as a couple and focus on the things that bring about a greater attraction to each other. But be sure to do so with a heart of encouragement, not criticism. 

Attraction will often increase in marriage as you and your spouse deepen your level of intimacy and enhance your shared experiences. It can also change over time as to what evokes it. Be sure to revisit this topic every so often as a couple so that each of you can identify what makes you more attractive to your spouse and focus on how to embody that for them. 

Remember, you are a gift to your spouse – a gift to delight, honor and enjoy. As they are also to you. Have fun with it. Flirt. Send loving texts. Wear that shirt he or she loves. Maintain that gaze longer than necessary. Wink. Share one side of a booth when eating out. Keep your attraction to each other alive for the full 365. 

from Bring Back Those Loving Feelings

‘May your kisses be as exciting as the best wine—
Young Woman
Yes, wine that goes down smoothly for my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.’ Song of Songs 7:9-10(NLT)

‘Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. ‘ Romans 12:10(NLT)

Most of us take the time to try to look as nice as we can on holidays – especially holidays like Valentine’s Day. We revisit that mindset we lived in when we were dating. Not only do we seek to make our appearance attractive but also our spirits. We try to maintain an open, positive spirit on Valentine’s Day or on special occasions. 

We spend the extra effort to pick out what clothes we are wearing and make sure our hair is in place. We limit our complaints or outward displays of disappointment and frustration. Many of us even try to watch our weight during special seasons. We know the importance of attraction like we did when our marriage was a dating relationship and romantic holidays seek to remind us to do our part in looking attractive to our mate as well as being attractive in our attitudes and actions.

Yet somewhere along the line throughout the remainder of the 364 days of the year, many of us lose this attentiveness to our own attractiveness. 

It could be the futility of the familiar or the duties that drained our energy which contribute to this loss of effort. Whatever the case, attraction within a marriage is just as important to pay attention to, if not more so, than in a dating relationship or just on holidays. Why? Because the habitual has a way of dulling the shine or lessening the mystique. Unfortunately, the tyranny of the typical may lower appeal rather than increase it. 

Saying “I do” didn’t reduce any hormones or harden any hearts. We are human and whether married or not, most of us still enjoy the feeling of attraction. Which is why maintaining your personal appearance, hygiene and attitudes while married ought to be a high value for both spouses. 

What are some things you can do to remain attractive to your spouse? You can start by revisiting the things you did when you were dating. Attractiveness is unique to each person. It doesn’t mean outside beauty for every person. It doesn’t mean dressing up for everyone either, or being pencil thin – or even wearing make-up if you are a woman or having a six-pack stomach if you are a man. It could be your laugh. The gentle look in your eyes, the soft touch, listening ear – positive affirmations toward your spouse. Whatever it was that you did when dating or on special days like Valentine’s Day which draws your spouse toward  you, consider whether or not you are still doing these things on a regular basis. 

Romans 12:10 may not be seen as a typical Valentine’s Day verse, and it may not show up in any cards given on this day, but it is a verse that captures the sentiment of the season. When applied to your marriage on a regular basis, it will infuse your intimacy with authenticity, grace and mutual attraction. We read, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” 

Devote yourself to the honor of your spouse, what that looks like is different for every couple but the outcome is the same – mutual love.

from Bring Back Those Loving Feelings