Tag: An Awesome Marriage Christmas

‘Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem. He called a meeting of the leading priests and teachers of religious law and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?” “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they said, “for this is what the prophet wrote: ‘And you, O Bethlehem in the land of Judah, are not least among the ruling cities of Judah, for a ruler will come from you who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.’ ” Then Herod called for a private meeting with the wise men, and he learned from them the time when the star first appeared. Then he told them, “Go to Bethlehem and search carefully for the child. And when you find him, come back and tell me so that I can go and worship him, too!” After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.’ Matthew 2:1-11(NLT)

When I think about my best childhood Christmas, it centers much more around people than the gifts I received. I was ten and Christmas Eve was at our home every year. I think from the time I was born, there was never any doubt where Christmas Eve would be and that all the family would be there. I was the first grandchild on both sides.  There was something so special when all the people I loved and who loved me were in the same home for Christmas. That Christmas when I was ten, my favorite great aunt and uncle surprised our family on Christmas Eve. I can still see the joy on my mom’s face when she saw them walk in. It was such a special time.

As I look back over the years of our marriage, a lot of Christmases stand out. Our firsts were all special. The first ever in our apartment, the first in our first house, the first with our son and then our daughter, firsts with a daughter-in-law and a son-in-law, and the firsts with each grandchild. Each has been special in its own way.

Nancy and I have tried from year one to make Christmas be about Jesus first. Some years we have done better than others but it has always been a goal. I think that is the reason that as a couple, we look back at every Christmas as special.  

We made a decision somewhere along the way to not get stuck in the past. We were not going to find a “perfect” Christmas and try to recreate it year after year. That made no sense to us. Besides it would be really frustrating. We made a decision that the best Christmas was going to be the one we were celebrating. Were there years that was more difficult than others? Sure. People we loved that were there one year were gone the next. Then came the year when there were no longer two little kids in their pajamas anxiously waiting at the top of the stairs for the okay to come down on Christmas morning. Life brought changes. Yet, you know what never changed? Jesus. He was there when Nancy and I were kids, then as we grew up and as we started celebrating His birth together. The joy of truly celebrating the birth of our Savior never changes.  

So when you think about what is the best Christmas ever, it’s this one! This is your Awesome Marriage Christmas!

Today’s Challenge: 

Share some of your favorite Christmas memories together. What made them special to you?  

Going Deeper: 

What would it take for you together to put Christ first this Christmas? What is your first step? Will you commit together to make this Christmas the best ever?

from An Awesome Marriage Christmas by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ‘ James 1:5(NLT)

‘Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:4(NLT)

If part of your goal this year is to have your marriage grow and get better during the Christmas season, then you will probably need to do some things differently than you did in the past. Your first step is setting aside time to talk about this. Then make a list.  Actually, make two lists. On one, write down the things you want to be a part of Christmas for the two of you this year. Maybe you do a reading plan or daily devotional together. You could commit to attending church each weekend in December and also on Christmas Eve. You will want to set aside special times for just the two of you to be together and enjoy the season as a couple. You may want to find ways to serve others and show Jesus’s love in special ways. Make the list yours by adding things that are important to both of you.

Now for that other list. On this list write down every thing that will get in the way of list number one. This is where it gets tough because some of the things that will get in your way could be people and family and things like that. So before you start, I want you to do this. Pray. Both of you pray. Pray for God to give you wisdom as you make this list.  Yes, the goal is to make your marriage better, but be cautious. I’m just saying that before I do anything that affects the people in my life I need to check in with God and so do you.

Now the fun starts. This is where setting boundaries comes in. Boundaries in this instance are just the safeguards you need to put into place to make the things on list number one happen. It may involve saying “no” to an invitation or two. It may mean putting the kids to bed early a few nights so the two of you can be alone in front of your Christmas tree. It may mean a change or two in extended family traditions. The idea is to make as much of list number one happen as you can and when you do you are well on your way to your Awesome Marriage Christmas!

Today’s Challenge: 

Talk together about what you can do differently this Christmas season as a couple to help your marriage grow.

Going Deeper: 

Are there boundaries you need to set as a couple that will help you do things differently this year? Talk through how those boundaries would look, then take it in prayer to God.  Pray for His wisdom and guidance. Then set your boundaries in place.  

from An Awesome Marriage Christmas by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, to whom she was engaged, was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’” When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.’ Matthew 1:18-25(NLT)

‘“For this is how God loved the world: He gave#3:16 Or For God loved the world so much that he gave. his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. ‘ John 3:16(NLT)

Most of us grew up with some traditions at Christmas. For me, it was decorating the tree and the house inside and out. It was Christmas Eve at church; family, food and presents. Nancy’s traditions were slightly different but overall included the same things. That first year we were married we somehow decided to make our own traditions. We brought some things forward from our past but wanted to create traditions just for us and our future family. 

Keeping Jesus at the center of it all was something we both agreed on. I wish I could tell you that we had a formula that made it easy but we did not. There are a lot of distractions around Christmas and we found we had to be very intentional to keep Jesus first. Doing devotionals together, attending church weekly and on Christmas Eve  have all helped. The first Christmas we were together, Nancy’s mom gave us a nativity set that has been a part of every Christmas since then. It is such a great visual reminder for us of keeping Him at the center.

Probably our favorite thing together is late Christmas Eve night. It’s just the two of us in front of our Christmas tree in our living room with only the lights of the tree illuminating the room. That time together is very special. Sometimes we talk and sometimes we are silent, reflecting on all God has done for us.  

If you don’t have a tradition for just the two of you, what about starting it this year? It can be whatever you want but the idea is to have something that is special for the two of you and keeps your focus on Him. This is part of an Awesome Marriage Christmas!

Today’s Challenge: 

Decide together on a new tradition that connects the two of you and focuses on Him.

Going Deeper: 

During December read the story of Jesus’s birth in Matthew and Luke together. It is very familiar to many of us, so read it slowly over a few days in a different translation than you usually read. Ask God to give you new insights into this well-known story and share those with each other. 

from An Awesome Marriage Christmas by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law. ‘ Romans 13:8(NLT)

‘“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’’ Luke 14:28-30(NLT)

‘The wicked borrow and never repay, but the godly are generous givers.’ Psalms 37:21(NLT)

‘For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end. He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David for all eternity. The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies will make this happen!’ Isaiah 9:6-7(NLT)

At Awesome Marriage we talk about finances a lot because couples struggle with finances a lot. During the Christmas season these struggles can ramp up to extreme proportions. If you don’t have a plan for your finances, it is likely they will get out of hand at Christmas. You will find yourself arguing with your spouse and spending more than you wanted, and this can cast a dark cloud over the entire season.  

It is so easy to get caught up in what others are doing at Christmas. Even if our intentions are pure, this does not necessarily set the stage for good decisions. Let’s look at some steps that can make a difference for your marriage this year.

• Christmas is really about one thing: celebrating the birth of Jesus. The fact that God loved us more than enough to send His son into this sin-filled world to redeem us is something we can never celebrate enough! If we keep this as the center of what we do, other things fall into place more easily. Start by asking for His guidance together.
• Set aside time to sit down together and make a responsible budget for Christmas spending. Don’t go into debt. Your Christmas budget and what you decide to spend have to be the same or less. Make this budget before you look at anybody’s Christmas list or plan any Christmas gatherings. Once you have agreed on the amount you will spend, you can decide where you will spend.  
• Be creative. Some of the best gifts we have ever received cost the giver almost nothing but time and creativity. Yet, many of these are the gifts we have truly cherished over the years.  
• Don’t be afraid to go countercultural. You may decide to spend your budget on helping others. You may decide to spend part of the season serving others. You may decide to help those who really are in need. The point is this: When you put Christ first as a couple, He may lead you to a celebration you never imagined and I promise you will have an Awesome Marriage Christmas!

Today’s Challenge: 

Take time with your spouse to pray about your finances for the Christmas season. Ask God to give you wisdom as you plan. Now, what is your next step?

Going Deeper:

Now that you have a plan for your finances, ask God to show you other things you can do during the Christmas season as a couple to serve Him and reach out to others.

from An Awesome Marriage Christmas by Dr. Kim Kimberling