Tag: 40&7 Devotional: A Guide To Peace During A Custody Battle

‘For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.’ 2 Corinthians 1:20(NLT)

‘“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: ‘ Ephesians 6:2(NLT)

After we determine what the enemy’s timed distraction is hindering us from, we need to refocus on our original mission. This can be hard, because we still have that lingering sense that something needs our attention; but what if in reality nothing else needs our attention but what we are supposed to be doing? This may be the case more often than we realize. See, if we agree that the enemy’s distraction was intended to throw us off and that it was timed, then we should also agree that there was something he didn’t want us accomplishing during that time—and >that is what we should be doing. 

The Bible tells us that the power of life and death are in the tongue (see Prov. 18:21), which means that our words have power, and the enemy wants us to use that power to create destruction rather than focus on God’s life-giving purpose for us. Yet God’s power is greater, and the truth is, only God creates reality. We don’t have the power to do that and neither does the enemy.

When we refocus on what we should have been focusing on—our families, a project at work, time with God—it completely throws the enemy off, and that is exactly what we want to happen (I share forty of these in our 40&7 Companion Journal) . As we focus on God’s promises, we should also give ourselves time to stop and pray. Prayer will aid us in refocusing our attention and energy where they belong. Now let me be the first to say that this is an art, and it takes time to do. Even while writing this, I fell into the trap of reading a disturbing paper four times or so. After realizing what I was doing, I had the choice to either dwell on the time I wasted or refocus, say a prayer, and get back to what I should have been doing. I chose to do the latter.

Our flesh constantly wars against the spirit, and wants to dwell on things that our spirit desires to give to God. It’s a war, which means that it’s not over until the victory is won. And we can win! Don’t get stuck when you get thrown off. It’s okay—just keep moving forward!

Think about it!

When are some times that you recall getting off focus? How can you better refocus when this occurs in the future?

from 40&7 Devotional: A Guide To Peace During A Custody Battle

‘So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ‘ James 4:7(NLT)

‘Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. ‘ Luke 10:19(NLT)

One day I saw a quote on Facebook that illustrated how valuable our time is:

“You have $86,400 in your account and someone steals $10 from you. Would you be upset and throw all of the remaining $86,390 away in hopes of getting back at the person who took your $10? Or move on and continue living? Right, move on and live. See, we have 86,400 seconds in every day, so don’t let someone’s negative 10 seconds ruin the rest of the 86,390. Don’t sweat the small stuff; life is bigger than that.” – Author, Unknown

I thought this post was truly profound, and it definitely hit home for me. During my custody battle I spent a lot of time worrying and contemplating what I could do about all the stuff going on. I spent a great deal of time responding to e-mails and being consumed by the accuracy of my responses to the accusations against me, since I didn’t want anyone to twist my words. I later found out that I had no control over that anyway. I had wasted lots of time and energy, and I couldn’t get any of it back.

Have you ever stopped and paid attention to when the distractions in your life happen? The timing is no accident. The enemy strategically designs these things to occur when they do so that we will become distracted from what we should be focused on for that day, that hour, that moment. We have to learn to see our situations with God-vision. When we see things through our own perspective, it’s like looking through glasses caked with dirt. We can’t see what we’re trying to look at.

How do we recognize the distractions and see our circumstances with God-vision? Well, we need to know two important things in order to do this.

First, the devil does not have to plan how he is going to destroy our purpose or strain our relationships years down the line. He only needs to focus on making us give in to his day-by-day attempts at distracting us. Second, since the enemy can only speculate about what will happen and only use evidence because he can’t create reality, he has to make sure that his plans are timed.

The devil knows that if he can steal our time, then he can steal our purpose, our children’s purpose, and our spouse’s purpose.

Think about it!

How has the devil been stealing your time? How can you better position yourself to hear from God to avoid these pitfalls? Write these questions and answers down in your 40&7 Prayer and Scripture Journal to look back at them later on as a reminder of what God has done.

from 40&7 Devotional: A Guide To Peace During A Custody Battle

‘Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.’ Genesis 2:7(NLT)

Did you know that our bodies are created to naturally heal themselves? I believe that in many cases ailments that we medicate could be healed if we better understood how God had created our bodies. God created breath, and it is a beautiful creation. We can’t see it, we can’t touch it, but it is at the core of our very existence. How often have you seen someone walking around without breathing? Probably never! Why? Because if someone isn’t breathing, he or she is missing something that happens within our bodies when we breathe.

It’s called life.

Adam came alive when God breathed life into him, and life can be given to us when we practice intentional breathing during times of stress and high anxiety.

One day while in a discussion with someone about ways to relieve stress and anxiety, I was taught a very helpful breathing technique. This exercise did wonders for me the first time I tried it. The day I tried it, I’d had a bad headache all day, and I had not even considered that it could have been caused by tension. I had been hoping all day that it would just go away.

As I walked through this deep-breathing exercise, my entire body started to tingle as if it were loosening up. After two deep, long breaths, my headache was completely gone. I knew right then that I needed to incorporate this exercise into my life when I felt anxiety or stress. I began doing this regularly. As I breathed in and let my belly expand, I repeated, “God, I trust You. God, I trust You,” over and over, and as I breathed out, I said, “I’m giving this to You. I’m giving this to You,” or I’d think of a promise of Scripture He had given me. Breathing out was so relaxing and rejuvenating—it felt as if I were literally blowing the stress out my body. I now usually do this two or three times before I engage in a situation that causes me anxiety. A person doesn’t have to be a Professional or certified to take a couple deep breaths and feel a huge difference.

We just happen to be created to breathe!

Think about it!

Did you know that something as simple as breathing slowly could relieve pressure and stress? Take a moment (right now!) and take several deep breaths very slowly in and out. Now closes your eyes, clear your mind, and do it once more. It’s truly relaxing. From this point forward when you feel overwhelmed or stressed, pause and take several deep breaths beforec continuing on.

from 40&7 Devotional: A Guide To Peace During A Custody Battle

‘Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.’ 1 Peter 5:7(NLT)

Before ever opening an e-mail, answering a phone call, or responding to a voicemail from a person whose name makes our stomach drop when we see it on our screens, we have to decide immediately, in the moment, that whatever comes at us is an issue for God to handle; that we will give any emotion, thought, or feeling over to God; that without even knowing all the details, we will trust that God can handle the situation.

Doing this was one of my greatest challenges as I went through my battle, yet it also had the greatest impact on me when I embraced it. I don’t know if it was my need to be in control or the fact that I thought I knew best how to handle everything, but it was so hard for me to turn each circumstance over to God.

One day as I was speaking to a group of women about this topic, I accidently slipped and said, “When we finally decide that we can’t do anything to fix our problem, then God can step in. He is the only person who can handle it from the beginning, and He is the only person who can handle it in the end, so let Him handle it.” That’s when I had one of those “Did you hear what you just said? How about you remember that?” moments. The truth is, as I spoke those words to those women, I knew I needed to hear them as much as anyone out there listening.

How silly of us to think that we can have anything to do with how our situation is going to turn out anyway. We are just vessels meant to bring about God’s glory on Earth. We are God’s original thought, His original design, and His original creation. We live only in the reality that He creates. It only makes sense for us to lessen our anxiety by not trying to control an outcome that has yet to become a reality by God. We must learn to listen to Him as we decide to immediately give it, whatever “It” is, over to Him, even when we don’t yet know what we are handing over.

Think about It!

What false realities have you attempted to take control over? What do you think will change when you trust God and leave it with Him?

from 40&7 Devotional: A Guide To Peace During A Custody Battle

One of the most mentally and physically exhausting experiences I have had to date was going to court and fighting for nine months for custody of two of my seven children. This process was painful on so many levels. The ugliness and frustration of it all consumed me. Each time I thought it was almost over, some new accusation or threat came up. I was completely discouraged and often wondered, God, where are You? Do You see what’s happening to me? I knew that God could work everything out and allow the truth to come forth, but I often had the lingering doubt, I know You can do it, but will You do it for me? That question became the source of so many tears and doubts—and supernatural experiences with God.

One day God began to show me that I had allowed past experiences to shape the belief within me that He would not defend me and that I would not experience true victory in my circumstances. Prior to this huge custody battle, I had gone to court for other issues—my divorce, child-support matters, and small modifications to custody details.

Each time I went, I walked away feeling completely defeated and discouraged by the outcome. And each time I felt that way, I unknowingly became less and less confident in God’s desire and ability to bring about a true victory in my situation. I looked for Scriptures to encourage me, and at times certain verses helped me, but most times my brief moments of feeling better were just a smokescreen for how I really felt: defeated.

So when the most recent court request turned into an all-out custody battle, my doubts, fears, and lack of trust in God came fully to the surface. There was no hiding or disguising them now. It was clear: I didn’t trust God as I said I did and encouraged others to do. I wanted to. I wanted the peace of knowing that God wouldn’t allow anything to happen to me or let my children be taken from my care. I wanted the calmness of spirit and soundness of mind that would let me function on a day-to-day basis as if nothing difficult was going on.

But even though I knew that trusting in myself and my preferred outcome was a bad idea, I fell into the trap of doing it anyway. For months I leaned on my own understanding, fully aware of God’s Word but struggling to apply it in my situation and in my life. Thankfully, in my despair, God gave me some amazing practical tools to aid me in trusting Him while I was going through this difficult season—and He gave them to me as I wrote to Him in my journal. The seven steps and forty scripture verses He gave me became a way for me to see what I was going through as I should have seen it: as a spiritual battle intended to strengthen me within the Kingdom of God.

As I began to experience how using practical tools to trust God shifted things within me and in my situation, I became confident that these tools needed to be shared with others. I am truly excited to walk this journey with you over the next 5 Days through this amazing God-Given devotional!

from 40&7 Devotional: A Guide To Peace During A Custody Battle