Tag: 4 Days To Deeper Intimacy In Marriage

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem. A psalm of David.
‘How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.’ Psalms 133:1-3(NLT)

‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.’ Ephesians 4:1-6(NLT)

As you may have guessed from today’s readings, there’s one final way to deepen your intimacy with your spouse, and that’s to deepen your intimacy… with God. Think of God as the center of a circle, and you and your spouse as two points on the edge of that circle. Now draw lines from those points to the center. Got it? Think about it: the closer you and your spouse journey toward God – the center – the closer you will be to one another. This works whether you start on opposite sides of the circle or right next to one another; as you move toward the center, you’ll only grow closer and closer. How are you and your spouse working toward deepening your spiritual intimacy? Sharing this scripture-reading plan is a start; now move on toward talking about your faith, reading the same devotional books, or discussing the Sunday sermon on the way home from church. Spiritual intimacy through this kind of unity is possibly the most eternally rewarding kind of intimacy in marriage, so take some time now and in the future to go deep with God… and with each other.

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‘The Lord detests the use of dishonest scales, but he delights in accurate weights. Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Honesty guides good people; dishonesty destroys treacherous people.’ Proverbs 11:1-3(NLT)

‘Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges ; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.’ Philippians 2:1-11(NLT)

Another key component of intimacy, as we read today, is humility. Humility leads us closer to one another as we prefer our spouse over ourselves. Too often we can think of marriage as a point-scoring game where one of us has to “win;” unfortunately, if one of you “wins,” you both lose. In marriage, you either both win or neither of you wins. This is why you must approach one another humbly and honestly, ready to serve one another. Nothing will bring your more intimacy in your marriage than humbling yourself and owning up to every flaw, frustration, and imperfection you have. Once you do this, then you can both extend and receive grace to one another. And when you do that? Just watch how deep you go.

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‘You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon. You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain. Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices— henna with nard, nard and saffron, fragrant calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, and every other lovely spice. You are a garden fountain, a well of fresh water streaming down from Lebanon’s mountains.
Young Woman
Awake, north wind! Rise up, south wind! Blow on my garden and spread its fragrance all around. Come into your garden, my love; taste its finest fruits.’ Song of Songs 4:9-16(NLT)

‘Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:15-19(NLT)

‘The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:3-5(NLT)

Last time we talked about how marital intimacy means so much more than just sex. But it does include sex. And that’s what today’s readings are all about. Because physical intimacy is key to maintaining a long-lasting, deep intimacy with your spouse. Sex isn’t intended to be some sort of obligation or, as the old term went, “marital duty;” sex is intended to be a wonderful moment of pleasure and enjoyment! In marriage, the act of sex is one of the most expressive, vulnerable, and wordless ways you can create intimacy, as you and your spouse truly enjoy one another’s company, which is something that today’s readings express wonderfully. So make some time together with your spouse today. Deepen your intimacy physically with one another. It’s biblical!

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‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)

‘But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Mark 10:6-9(NLT)

Husbands and wives: you were created to be one. That’s the way God set it up and that’s the way it should be. So why does it sometimes feel like you’re far, far away from that ideal? Intimacy can suffer when we get away from our God-ordained status of drawing together. Often when we hear the words “intimacy” and “marriage” together, we think the conversation is going to be about sex. And yes, sex is important for building intimacy! But it’s not the only aspect of true marital intimacy. Over these next four days, embrace one another and embrace the scriptures you read as you learn more about deepening your intimacy on your way to a healthier, stronger marriage.

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