Tag: 31 Days To A Stronger Marriage

‘Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ‘ Philippians 4:6(NLT)

Worry occupies the part of your heart where faith should live.

All of us are prone to worrying sometimes, but worries can unravel the peace of your home and the unity of your marriage. Worrying gives us the illusion of control over situations that feel out-of-control, but God never called us to control our circumstances. He calls us to trust Him with our circumstances. The next time you and your spouse are tempted to worry, try praying together instead. God sometimes uses our prayers to change our circumstances, but He always uses our prayers to change our perspective.

Reflection: How would our marriage improve if we worried less and prayed more?

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‘Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.’ Romans 12:18(NLT)

Strive to be a peacemaker; not a pot-stirrer!

Unity in marriage doesn’t mean uniformity. You won’t always agree, but should always be agreeable towards each other. Even in moments of disagreement, don’t look for ways to stir up conflict or belittle each other’s opinions. Instead, work together with mutual respect to bring peace to every conflict. Be quick to apologize when you’ve hurt your spouse’s feelings. Work together to create an oasis of peace in your home. Make your relationship a place you want to escape to and not a place you want to escape from.

Reflection: Am I creating peace or creating conflict in my marriage?

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‘“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.’ Matthew 7:12(NLT)

Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated.

We learn the “Golden Rule” as small children, but too often, we don’t apply this timeless truth in the one relationship that should matter most. Always treat your spouse with thoughtfulness, respect, kindness and encouragement. Treat him/her the way you want to be treated. This doesn’t mean that you should assume your spouse’s needs and desires are the same as yours. Be more focused on his/her needs than you are on your own needs.

Reflection: Do I consistently treat my spouse the way I want to be treated?

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‘“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? ‘ Matthew 7:3(NLT)

Celebrate your spouse’s strengths instead of pointing out weaknesses.

When we focus on something, it starts to seem bigger. If you choose to focus on your spouse’s strengths, they’ll seem even bigger, but if you focus only on weaknesses and flaws, you’ll see them even when they aren’t really there. If you must focus on flaws, always start with your own flaws. You are the only part of the marriage that you truly have the power to change. Always be willing to build up your spouse instead of looking for ways to tear him/her down.

Reflection: Am I better at celebrating my spouse’s strengths or at pointing out his/her weaknesses?

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‘Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.’ Proverbs 16:18(NLT)

Pride is the soil where all other sin takes root.

Pride, on the surface, seems like a “harmless” sin. In fact, we often don’t even think of it as a sin, but it is dangerous indeed. Pride is the primary cause of divorce. Pride is the whisper in our ear that seduces us into believing that our way is always the best way and being “right” is more important than being loving. Pride is the enemy of love. Choose humility instead. Humility doesn’t mean you lack confidence or courage; it simply means you’re led by love instead of selfishness.

Reflection: Would my spouse consider me to be filled with pride or filled with humility?

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‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

God’s timing is almost always different than our own timing, but His plans always prove to be perfect.

We all have our own ideas and agendas, and we tend to get frustrated when our plans don’t work out the ways we want. In those moments when doors don’t seem to be opening fast enough or when you and your spouse feel frustrated that your plans aren’t happening like you thought they would, remember that God is with you and His plans for your life and your marriage are better than your own. Trust Him and praise Him even in moments of disappointment. He knows what He’s doing.

Reflection: Are we trusting in God’s timing or are we trying to force our own agenda?

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‘Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:18(NLT)

Choose an attitude of gratitude every day.

It’s not happy people who are thankful; it’s thankful people who are happy. Choose to say “Thank you” to your spouse for all he/she does and always remember to say “Thank you” to your Savior for all He has done. Let gratitude replace grumbling in your marriage. The next time you feel like complaining about your boss, stop and give thanks that you have a job. The next time you feel like complaining about a messy house, pause and give thanks that you have a family instead of a clean-but-empty house. Give thanks for everything.

Reflection: How would my marriage look differently if I spent less time complaining and more time giving thanks?

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‘And do everything with love.’ 1 Corinthians 16:14(NLT)

A strong marriage requires two people who choose to love each other even on days when they struggle to like each other!

Many modern love stories would have us naively believe that love is little more than a fickle feeling that comes and goes. The truth is that love isn’t a feeling; it’s an action-oriented commitment. It’s a choice to give your best to someone even when they are at their worst. It means serving someone even when they are in no position to repay. It means giving more grace that we feel like giving. That’s what Christ did for us and what He calls us to do for each other.

Reflection: Am I showing my spouse “love” by God’s definition of love or by the world’s definition?

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‘Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.’ Philippians 4:5(NLT)

Thoughtfulness is a source of fuel that keeps a marriage going strong.

You don’t need a lot of money or any special set of skills to be thoughtful and considerate towards each other. Don’t let selfishness or pride distract you from consistently putting the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. When a marriage has both spouses intentionally being considerate and showing thoughtfulness to each other, the marriage will thrive. Make sure your spouse knows that he/she is always on your mind.

Reflection: Am I consistently thoughtful and considerate towards my spouse?

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‘Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! ‘ Philippians 4:4(NLT)

Let laughter fill the soundtrack of your marriage!

Even in seasons of struggles and pain, strong couples make it a priority to laugh together. They’ve learned that while they won’t always “feel” happy, they can always have a joy that transcends the circumstances. Choosing to laugh together isn’t being blind towards the difficulties. Rather, it’s a faith-filled declaration that, “We will get through this! Nothing can steal our joy. Because of Christ, all our pain is temporary and all our joy will be eternal!”

Reflection: Do we laugh because of temporary circumstances or because of permanent joy?

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