Marriage Devotional

‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. ‘ Hebrews 13:8(NLT)

‘In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you! ” Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!” Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.” The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she has conceived a son and is now in her sixth month. For the word of God will never fail. ”’ Luke 1:26-37(NLT)

30,000 foot view of our priorities: GOD, SPOUSE, FAMILY, JOB, MINISTRY

ASK God to show up in your time today as we wrap our arms around living out the GSFJM list. 

READ: HEB 13.8, LUK 1.26-37

DEVOTIONAL: “No word from God will ever fail.” While this one verse is tucked into what might be considered just an “Intro to Christmas” story, it’s the foundation for how God’s word and will play out for us in our everyday lives. The Angel Gabriel shows up to tell Mary she is highly favored. Her response? She is troubled by his words. Huh? An angel just told you “You are special” and you’re troubled? That’s our natural broken state though, to not immediately accept or trust God working in our lives. Many times God will speak to us through prayers, reading His Word, circumstances and people to inform us. And if that big left turn comes taking us down a different path from what we expected or planned for our own lives, we get confused, angry even. It’s not easy to accept when something like this happens (even though it may very well be the best thing for us!). While I may not readily agree with what God is doing, I always take it from the “Let’s assume that God is still in control and knows what He is doing in my life.” Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever! 

The world may try hard to preoccupy us, pull us into different, less fulfilling lives if we let it. There are a million voices vying for our attention today and it can be easy to get distracted, off track, or give up. God made you, God loves you and God made you special.  So choose every day, every hour, every minute to have the courage to stand strong and live up to these priorities of honoring God, honoring our spouses, leading our families, being present in our jobs and helping others through ministry. GOD, SPOUSE, FAMILY, JOB, MINISTRY – Believe it, seek it, live it. 

WRITE down some thoughts about finishing up this reading plan. What do you think about living out these priorities? What needs to change in your life to help you put these in order? How can you engage your spouse, your family, people at work to help you be better at living these out? What do you need to give back to God that will allow Him to be first in everything in your life?

MEDITATE: Ask God to be with you, to lead you and prompt you in everything you do in your life. Ask God to be present with you, to guide you and give you wisdom for following Him and living out these priorities. Thank Him for creating and loving YOU – no matter what! And like Mary did, tell God from your heart, “I am Your servant. May your word in me be fulfilled!” 

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade

‘Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.’ John 12:26 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/JHN.12.26

‘For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do. ‘ Hebrews 6:10 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/HEB.6.10

‘For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. ‘ Galatians 5:13(NLT)

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. ‘ Romans 12:1(NLT)

‘Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”’ Luke 6:38(NLT)

#5 on our list: MINISTRY

ASK God to show up for you as you’re going over priority #5 on the GSFJM list. 

READ:  JHN 12:26, HEB 6:10, GAL 5:13, ROM 12.1, LUK 6.38

DEVOTIONAL: My choice to get involved in mission work has given me and my family the opportunity to travel all over the world and meet some amazing people. When working with people and teams to prepare them for going on their first mission trip, it is interesting how most of the thought process is wrapped around their thoughts of “helping others that are less fortunate.” That’s a great reason to go for sure and may be just the thing that gets you going on a trip like that. But after coming back, what I find is that people are changed, internally and externally from the experience of “helping others” or “doing” ministry. I served as a youth ministry assistant helping lead high school youth mission trips to Costa Rica twice a year from a pretty well-do-to church community and more often than not when we would return, parents would come up to me and say, “What the heck did you do to my kid?!!! They want us to sell everything.” That’s kinda what hands-on ministry does to you when you’re all-in. As my kids like to say, “You get wrecked!” I remember leading men’s groups into Juarez, Mexico to build houses for families living in the barrios. Men loved to sign up, bring their tools and “get ‘er done.” Over the years, I saw the toughest of tough men broken, tears streaming down their face while sitting in church with the families that had received the homes we built, just grateful for a place to call home (that home BTW, was about the size of one of our one car garages here in the USA). I watched many of those same tough men, after serving and listening to God’s voice through their hard work in missions in Juarez and other places, step forward to dedicate their lives to full time or regular service through ministry. Wow!  

Here’s the truth – When you choose to serve, no matter what reason it started out for, you will most likely be changed to see things the way God sees them, and it changes your perspective about what we have and how we live. I’m certainly not telling you to go out and sell everything, but that reaction from our mission high schoolers was a great indicator of God working in their hearts – just like He’ll work in yours.  What I am saying is this: it’s never too late to get involved. Get out of your comfort zone and join God by serving others. That can be doing laundry at a local homeless shelter, packing boxes at the food bank, sitting down to help families in transition understand how to balance their checkbooks, repairing or painting homes of seniors, or going to Africa or Indonesia (or anywhere!) for a couple of weeks to teach English or do a VBS week for kids; there are LOTS of things you can do with a group from your faith community, whether on a 17 hour flight taking you 9000 miles away or right down the street with a family struggling to make ends meet due to health or job changes.  James 1:22 says, “Don’t just merely listen to [God’s] word, and so deceive yourself. Do what it says!” So get out there and DO IT!   

WRITE down some thoughts about your Bible reading today. How do you feel about being involved in ministry? Does it make you nervous? Is it fun? What skills do you have, maybe from your job or other experiences  that might be valuable for others around your faith community, in your town or for neighbors? Write down some ideas about how you could make yourself available for ministry. Follow through with doing it! 

MEDITATE: Take the time to think and pray about what came out in your writing and reading time today. Pray over these things for a better clarity and direction for the Holy Spirit to speak to you for how to get out of your comfort zone and be active in ministry.

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade

(NLT)

‘If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. ‘ Ephesians 4:28(NLT)

‘Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ‘ Ephesians 6:7(NLT)

‘“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.’ Matthew 7:15-20(NLT)

#4 on our list: JOB

ASK God to show up. I can hear you already, “Seriously, in my work?!!” Yes, this is a big one. We want God to be active in our work as we go over priority #4 on the GSFJM list. 

READ: 1 COR 10:31, EPH 4:28, 6:7, MAT 7:15-20 

DEVOTIONAL: Our jobs can glorify God. God made Adam and Eve and put them in the Garden to take care of it. If you’ve ever gardened – it’s definitely work! And that was before the fall! I believe we can be joyful and enjoy God through our work. This might not mean singing hymns, reading the Bible or praying in that environment (or maybe it does!), but if we understand that God made us to work, our workplace can take on a whole new spiritual meaning. 

When I first gave my life to Christ and started attending church, there was this unspoken, unwritten, kind of weird overarching perceived priority that the best thing you could do if you were a “Christian” is to become a pastor. Don’t get me wrong, pastors are important people, but my reaction was, “Well THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!” The second best thing was becoming a missionary. So, I got involved in missions, but continued to work in my “real” job. I’m in an industry that is typically void of God and even hostile toward anything “Jesus” so I was navigating my space with this new thing called faith. During my prayer times, God started to reveal to me that I was in a place that no pastor or missionary would even be able to come close to or relating to people with the gospel. It became very clear that I COULD be a pastor, and my “pastoring” and being a missionary for me was being in my work, in the places that I got to go in my work and being around the people I got to be around in my work. I told my pastor this and he agreed that his job was to teach me on Sundays how to “live my faith” in the midst of my job throughout the rest of the week. It became incredibly powerful for me personally in learning to “walk the walk” so that everything I did, even my mistakes, would allow for people to ask me why I was different. I call this the 1 Peter 3:15 moment in life. If we are living our lives fully for Christ, even without talking about it out loud very much, people will notice the difference. And then they will ask you “WHY?” It might take years, but that’s the door that God opens to allow us to talk about Him, and what our faith means to us. “Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy.” (The Message) 

Your work is part of the calling God has in your life. It’s not just a paycheck. It’s a place that God can and will (if you let Him!) extend His Kingdom and influence. It’s part of the big plan, which includes YOU and your work! You make a difference every day through your work. So, do your work well, as if you were doing it for God as your boss. And don’t be afraid to talk about God and His role in your life if that opportunity presents itself. Pray for your work, your co-workers, your influence.  

WRITE down some thoughts about your Bible reading today. How do you feel about your job and how you can honor God in your work in your everyday life? Be honest with yourself about struggles and/or impressions and feelings you have around your work and how God can be involved through you in your work. 

MEDITATE: Take the time to think and pray about what came out in your writing and reading time today around God and your job. Pray over these things for a better clarity and direction for the Holy Spirit to speak to you for how to put God first in all you do and to overcome any challenges or obstacles in that effort. 

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade

‘But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.’ 1 Timothy 5:8(NLT)

‘But if you refuse to serve the Lord , then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord .”’ Joshua 24:15(NLT)

‘We love each other because he loved us first.’ 1 John 4:19(NLT)

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

#3 on our list: FAMILY

ASK God to show up for you in this time to inform you around honoring your family. 

READ: 1TI 5.8, JOS 24.15, 1JO 4.19, 1CO 13.4-7

DEVOTIONAL:  I remember people telling us about the “terrible two’s” but somehow I missed all the advice about raising teenagers! I remember going through a particularly hard time with one of my daughters while she was a senior in high school and both of us were really upset and frustrated with each other. She was expressing her anger at me, vocal for what seemed like unclear expectations. She said, “You’re the parent. You should know what you’re doing by now.” I responded passionately, “Hey, I’m doing the best I can. This is actually my first time I’ve been in this situation too you know, dealing with an 18-year-old daughter, so let’s just figure this out together.” This was a breakthrough for us both. Sometimes our kids expect us to have all the answers, but if we’re honest with ourselves (and them), this may be the first time we’re dealing with a situation or issue that neither one of us has been in before. Maybe you had a good example of parenting in your life, maybe you didn’t.  So take your time, pray together, read the Bible together, seek wise counsel from others on this journey and figure it out. Love your children, be there for them, care about them, love them no matter what. What’s that look like? We have a regular thing we do at the dinner table every night (That’s a commitment in itself – dinner together regularly!). We each take a turn to give our highs and our lows of the day. Everybody listens, and then when that person is finished, they get to pick who goes next. Sometimes it’s not much info, but other times whatever is shared leads to incredible conversations and “wisdom” in figuring out this thing called “life” together. Having kids is what I call “the hardest, most fun you’ll ever have.” It is certainly an adventure, and it takes patience and intentionality on our part as parents. So make it your priority, right behind God and your Spouse, to put your kids first!

WRITE: Family is #3 on our list of priorities. Think honestly how you are doing as a parent and write down the things that you feel you have been and are doing well. Celebrate those things! This is hard work! Write down some areas where you think you may have failed or been challenged , or maybe you could have done better. Think if there are any reasonable changes you can makes in those areas. Don’t fret! All of these things can be used by God for growing our children in Him. We are not perfect, but He is!  We are doing our best and we want the best for our children. It’s okay – we’re trying our hardest to do what is right and learning along the way. 

MEDITATE: Thank God for your children and your family. Let God hear your honest and heartfelt concerns over the things you think maybe you have not done as well as you would have liked. Ask the Holy Spirit to wash over you in this time. Praise God for giving you the strength to be a parent and press forward, no matter what the difficulties and challenges. Thank God for His love for you, for allowing you to be part of His family and ask for the continued wisdom and clarity for making decisions as a parent in guiding your children. 

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade

‘Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.’ Proverbs 19:14(NLT)

‘“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:4-6(NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith.’ Hebrews 13:4-7(NLT)

‘Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ‘ Colossians 3:14(NLT)

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NLT)

‘Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. ‘ 1 Peter 4:8(NLT)

#2 on our list: SPOUSE

ASK God to show up.  Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your “thoughts and feelings” around this topic of honoring your Spouse in the #2 position on the GSFJM list. 

READ:  PRV 19.14, MAT 19.4-6, HEB 13.4-7, COL 3.14, ECC 4.9-12, 1PT 4.8

DEVOTIONAL: The whole Biblical concept of “leaving and cleaving,” i.e., leaving your family to become one with your spouse – that’s a big deal. And just like God and the Holy Spirit are real, so is this commitment to your spouse. You choose your spouse because of an initial love for that person. As time presses onward and the “honeymoon” feels like it is over, you need to work at keeping that relationship in place. And putting that person in the second seat right after God in our list of priorities takes some effort. The traditional marriage vows; “to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, till death do us part,” are important and can be really hard. We all have our view of what we think life should be like, and yet when things go differently, how do we react? Are we ready to throw in the towel too easily? Honoring your spouse may take some real grit as life presses in on you – the commitments of little children or managing teenagers, maybe taking care of older parents, through a surprise job loss or even the loss of big dreams. But making that intentional time with your spouse, to put that person in front of everything else we have here on earth, is really, really important. Spend time in prayer together each day sharing your concerns and hopes, dreams and realities. Don’t let anything get in front of this relationship. Without that commitment, things fall apart. I’m sure you have your own examples of spousal relationships going bad. If you stand strong with and for your spouse, God will honor this and you will keep the ties close with that person who is so special to you (and to God!), that you are one with as per God’s direction from His word.  

WRITE. How are you doing with keeping your Spouse in that position right behind God? What might need to change to make this happen more regularly so it becomes a natural order for you?  How can you draw in your spouse to do this study with you so you’re both working on your relationship together? Are there any things you can identify that are standing in your way of honoring your spouse in this way? What are those and how can you actively change them?

MEDITATE: Take the time to think and pray about what came out in your writing and reading time today. Pray over these things, and maybe go include your spouse in this time. Commit to time praying regularly with your spouse. Ask together for clarity and direction for the Holy Spirit to speak to you for how to honor each other in your marriage relationship. Thank God for bringing you together and ask Him to be with you.

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade   

‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.’ Deuteronomy 6:5-9(NLT)

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

‘For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.’ Titus 2:11-14(NLT)

‘I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. ‘ Philippians 3:7-9(NLT)

Putting God first in everything!

#1 on our list: GOD

ASK God to show up in your time today. I believe God will be speaking to you (through your thoughts, your reading and prayers) directly in this time as you are committing to put Him first in all you do. 

READ: DEU 6.5-9, MAT 6.33, TIT 2.11-14, PHP 3.7-9

DEVOTIONAL: Our personal stories of experiencing God all differ. Some folks have known Jesus their entire life without necessarily knowing when it happened. It’s just always been a part of who they are. Others know the exact time and date, coming to know God through an introduction at a vacation Bible school, summer camp or other gentle experience. And still others have to hit rock bottom or had some radical transformation to understand that God will love them no matter what. No matter how you have come to know God, the ability to put Him first in EVERYTHING we do can still be very challenging. 

I’ll be honest here, my biggest struggle personally with putting God first was His “tangibility,” i.e., believing that He could really be “right here” to talk with and be present in all I do and who I am. The Holy Spirit does bring incredible “power” to anything you do, and is a “presence,” but sometimes I felt closer to my spouse because I could go be with her in times of need. Here’s how that changed over time for me; I committed to God being #1, asking Him to be involved in everything I did and do. I found myself praying a LOT, like it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “pray without ceasing.” 

Let me use an old school example, from the days when our phones didn’t tell you who was calling and before Caller ID. If you talked with someone enough, you actually recognized their voice over the phone before they told you who is was. Or if they walked into a nearby room, you heard their voice and knew who it was. Why? Because you had listened to them a lot and you identified who it was without them telling you or like today with the name showing up on your screen. It’s the same way in prayer and communications with God. I find that if I am in regular communication with God, I recognize His voice. He is really there, and I know His presence and invite Him into anything and everything I am doing. I know God is with me through His Word, through my prayer, and through His Holy Spirit who is accessible any time I want Him to join me in my everyday life. 

WRITE down some thoughts about your Bible reading today. How do you feel about putting God first in everything? Is that possible? What habits might you need to adjust to put God first in life? What are the things that might be tough to overcome for making this the #1 priority? Be honest with yourself.

MEDITATE: Take the time to think and pray about what came out in your writing and reading time today. Pray over these things for a better clarity and direction for the Holy Spirit to speak to you for how to put God first in all you do and to overcome any challenges or obstacles in that effort. 

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade

‘And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before. By his faith Noah condemned the rest of the world, and he received the righteousness that comes by faith. It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God. It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise. And so a whole nation came from this one man who was as good as dead—a nation with so many people that, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore, there is no way to count them. All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead. It was by faith that Isaac promised blessings for the future to his sons, Jacob and Esau. It was by faith that Jacob, when he was old and dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons and bowed in worship as he leaned on his staff. It was by faith that Joseph, when he was about to die, said confidently that the people of Israel would leave Egypt. He even commanded them to take his bones with them when they left. It was by faith that Moses’ parents hid him for three months when he was born. They saw that God had given them an unusual child, and they were not afraid to disobey the king’s command. It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin. He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward. It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible. It was by faith that Moses commanded the people of Israel to keep the Passover and to sprinkle blood on the doorposts so that the angel of death would not kill their firstborn sons. It was by faith that the people of Israel went right through the Red Sea as though they were on dry ground. But when the Egyptians tried to follow, they were all drowned. It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down. It was by faith that Rahab the prostitute was not destroyed with the people in her city who refused to obey God. For she had given a friendly welcome to the spies. How much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death. But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground. All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us.’ Hebrews 11:6-40(NLT)

‘“I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me.’ Proverbs 8:17(NLT)

  OK, What’s with the title?!!! I use mnemonic devices in life to help me remember things, for instance BIBLE for me is Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. So follow me here: George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade (GSFJM) is my mnemonic device for GOD, SPOUSE, FAMILY, JOB, MINISTRY. Let me explain…

My wife and I had a very unique experience while we were dating and wondering about committing to the next step, i.e., marriage, as we enjoyed hanging out with each other so much.  We started by going to the pastor of our church to ask for “help” in navigating the path to this kind of commitment. “Funny,” he said, “Nobody ever comes to me with this kind of question. People just come to me to ask me to marry them.” His normal course of action was to set a few meetings of counseling and “poof,” ceremony and marriage license. After hearing our desire to know each other at a deeper level, he gave us his “marriage inventory,” a list of questions that he would give the other folks that just wanted to get married without much input. It basically was a “how do you feel about this” type of thing with multiple choice answers that might drive some minimal discussion around potential future marriage issues. We filled the questionnaire out, compared notes together and it led to some opening discussions for us, but it also left us feeling inadequately prepared for taking this next step into a BIG commitment that we really did not want to mess up. Each of our nuclear families had their own level of “dysfunction” (whose doesn’t?!!) and we really wanted to address many of these things together before we took any next step in our relationship. I mean, really, wasn’t this the time to decide whether we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together – BEFORE we got hitched?! And frankly, we admitted that we’d like to have some “tools” to deal with anything that might come up in the future. 

Based on our level of commitment to this journey, we were connected with an older couple from our church. At first, “Bill & Sally” might not have seemed like our “type,” but I can tell you that the time with them was amazing – it has had incredible value in our marriage over the years. They began meeting with us on a weekly basis. And while things started out “politely” as we got to know each other, it easily moved into very deep and hard questions addressing everything from how we’d discipline children – if we even wanted children – to how to handle money decisions and dealing with conflict in all kinds of situations. They prayed for us, through us, into us. We met almost every Tuesday evening for nearly two and a half years! They challenged us to think about and commit to understanding each other – even in disagreement – and gave us ways to have space if things got too heated. They gave us rules and guidelines to live by.  It really was an amazing time with incredible and tangible insight. What we like to say is that they unselfishly poured into us, cleaned our closets and gave us a toolbox to work with to address anything that might come up for us as a couple as we progressed through this thing called life. 

Now, I understand that not everyone is going to have the opportunity to go through that kind of focused marriage mentoring but seeking God and His ways for unity in life (and in our case, marriage) is important for any person/couple, even if you’ve already been married and/or following Jesus for 10, 25, even 40+ years. 

The most tangible thing Bill & Sally gave us was this biblical priority list for life, a list that if you had in order would help us tremendously in everyday life, no matter what came up. The list was this: God, Spouse, Family, Job, Ministry. I’m a mnemonic device guy, so I named it “George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade” from the initials GSFJM so I could remember it easily. The point was this: If you’re living out your life with these priorities in this order – God, Spouse, Family, Job, Ministry – there should be a noticeable difference and “peace that transcends all understanding” that comes from God as a result. This does not mean that life will be easy or that any problems will just disappear. Joy is different than happiness. Contentment is different than fulfilling all your wants/needs. A Godly perspective is very different than a worldly one. The world will always try to pull us into its grip, making us get things out of order, pretending that my job priorities should come before my spouse or my family. No way! Hence this list, to help us focus ourselves on the hierarchy to follow and live in a way that honors God and our commitment to Him in our marriage and to our families and all the other things in life. 

You’ll notice a few things here: God becomes before my spouse. My spouse comes before my kids/family. My kids, family and spouse come before my work. And my work comes before my ministry or spare time “other stuff.” I’ve seen many a pastor or leader in ministry put ministry before even God – and it whacks everything! I’ve done it myself, and when I get these out of order, making a decision that goes against this list, it’s not pretty. I suffer, my spouse suffers, my family suffers, my relationship with God suffers. 

Now, I can tell you I am NOT normally a “three ways to a better marriage,” “seven habits of effective managers,” or “five steps to better sex” type of guy per se, especially given our Instagram, Facebook and socially engaged, blurb-based, attention deficit, “need it NOW,” media driven culture. But, I can tell you that this particular priority list has been very effective in our lives, and I use it or refer to it every single day in some form or fashion.

My hope is that during the seven days in this reading plan, GSFJM will give you some insight on how to live with this easy list of priorities that can truly impact your life from a Godly perspective, protecting your marriage relationship and being a bit more informed and prepared when dealing with big and little issues  through the power of God in your life. 

HOW DO I GET STARTED?

This is designed to do by yourself, or, ultimately together with your spouse, family or small group. Obviously, including your spouse in this process will open some deeper conversations in your desire to grow more closely together and live a life following God’s plan instead of your own or the world’s. Spiritual unity in marriage is the goal.  You are making a commitment to seek and follow God.  Next step: pick a time and location that will be quiet for you to spend 5-10 minutes (or more if you want) each day, whether in the early morning, lunchtime or in the evening.  Bring a notebook with you.  As a busy person, I find that a million things will come into my head when I sit down to do this type of focused study/meditation time, so writing down your “to-do” list as it comes up means your brain can let go of those items and get back to them later so you can truly focus on this time with God.   

THE COMMITMENT

Over the next seven days, do these four things in your daily time:

1. ASK God to show Himself to you.  Invite God to make Himself known so that      there is no question that the things you will experience are not just some      coincidence.  And be ready, because I believe God will show up – for YOU! 
2. READ the short passages from the Bible that are part of this seven-day adventure. Reflect on them and how they might apply to you. (I recommend picking a translation of the Bible that is easy to read and understand like NIV or      The Message. YouVersion has lots of choices!)
3. WRITE things down (we call this journaling) during these seven days so you have a record of what you experience and how this reading plan is working for you.  This will help you remember what happens as a launching pad for whatever else happens in life from here forward. You’ll find these “notes” very valuable as the journey continues. If you’re using an old-fashioned hard copy Bible, highlight things that stand out to you and take notes in the margin. You can do the same in the Bible App. 
4. MEDITATE on the things that come to mind, on the stories from the Bible that you read. And talk to God like He is a friend sitting right next to you in the room.       We call this prayer, and there’s no magic way to do it. It really just feels like a conversation with someone you can trust with everything. Tell God what bugs you, what you’re happy about, who you’re concerned about, how you’d like help.  You might get immediate answers, you might not.  But you’ll be surprised how it affects who you are, how you think and what you believe as things progress. And doing this together with your spouse will provide another level of intimacy that      helps you grow in your spiritual unity together.

Today’s assignment is easy.  Find your quiet place. Then start with the following: 

ASK God to show up.

READ HEB 11.6-40, PRV 8.17

WRITE down some thoughts about your expectations for the seven days. Be honest. 

MEDITATE about your expectations – Talk to God – maybe what you think you’d like to see happen over the next seven days.  Be willing to listen to that still and small voice in your head. It may be leading you to some incredible conversations and discoveries over the next few days!

from George Smiles From Jane’s Marmalade