Marriage Devotional

‘Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.’ Proverbs 15:5(NLT)

‘Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:18-19(NLT)

In marriage, you enter into a covenant with your spouse that is recognized by God and sealed physically through sex. While single, it is encouraged to wait for marriage and to reserve that unveiling for you and your spouse. The reality is that even marriage does not guarantee the prevention of the misuse of sex. ‘Drink from your own well’ here means to have sex only with your spouse. Do not derive sexual pleasure from anyone other than the person you are married to. This includes engaging in pornography or masturbation. You should derive pleasure from your spouse, not mental images or videos of third parties. These actions are capable of ruining your marriage.

For a rich and enduring relationship, loyalty is not only desired, it is required. Nobody wants to be in a marriage with someone who claims to love you yet goes to bed with other people. Some people experience the itch of wanting a better mate or they experience some sort of buyer’s remorse, thinking they could have made a better choice of whom to marry. Please pay attention: in the cycle of life, there will always be ‘something better’ out there. There will always be someone smarter, richer, taller, younger, more attractive, and more charismatic than your spouse. 

Life on this side of heaven will never be perfect. The whole purpose of making vows is to assure your spouse that in spite of what life throws your way, you will be faithful. Will you face hardship in marriage? Yes. Will you be tempted to cheat? Yes. Is it possible to resist? Yes. Once you can settle this in your heart, fidelity becomes not just a possibility but also your lifestyle. Infidelity occurs when people choose to esteem their problems above their promises. Don’t let that be your story. 

Action Point: Commit to drinking only from your own well. Make up your mind to do it and ask God to help you keep to it. Erect boundaries that will help you stand by your commitment.

from SOLID…Building the Marriage of your Dreams by Godman Akinlabi

‘“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:4-6(NLT)

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

If only the marriage ceremony alone could result in the two becoming one flesh. In the eyes of the law, man and wife have certainly become one, but in reality, leaving and cleaving can take a lifetime. Ever seen couples that tend to think alike and react the same way when faced with the same situations? They didn’t get that way after their wedding night. It took years of building their relationship. Though stories of couples differ, one thing most agree to is that for a marriage to stand the test of time, you must be deliberate about making some decisions such as growing up, learning from wise counsel, and sticking to your marriage vows.

Couples must grow up and get rid of the sense of entitlement that people have, thinking that the world owes them favors and handouts and throw tantrums when they don’t get their way. Only helpless infants are permitted to have that kind of sense of entitlement. Work for want you want. You need to sow if you want to reap. And it’s the same in marriage. You cannot enter marriage feeling entitled to love, care, and pampering. You have to give it to get it. You have to take responsibility for the state of your marriage and how your home will turn out. 

Pride keeps many couples from getting help when they need it. You need to have a wise and trusted authority figure you respect and seek counsel from. Other people’s experiences are just as good to learn from. Don’t wait for problems to arise before seeking out mentors. Find them early and build a circle of strength and accountability around your marriage.

At a certain point in your marriage, when the full weight of your commitment hits you, you will need to decide whether or not you will check out of marriage-mentally, emotionally, or physically. When my wife and I faced stormy times in our marriage, separation seemed like the easier way out. In the seasons of trials, it seems a lot easier to give in than to push through the pain. Thankfully, we decided to stick with our vows and we are so glad that we did. Realize that what is on the other side of the trial is a solid marriage with a great spouse! Don’t quit.

Action Point: What will it take for you both to be together until ‘death do you part’? List out the things you believe are required and put your heart and might into achieving this.

from SOLID…Building the Marriage of your Dreams by Godman Akinlabi

‘So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.’ Genesis 1:27(NLT)

‘Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. ‘ 1 Timothy 4:4(NLT)

In marriage, you must distinguish between a weakness and a difference. A weakness is a disadvantage or a fault and should always be dealt with. A difference is the way in which two people or things are not alike. It’s simply a fact about the situation at hand.

In marriage, there are several areas outside the physical in which a couple differ such as background, race or tribe, education, vocation, personality type, and so on. The very nature of marriage involves two different parts coming together to make a more interesting whole. We sometimes forget that God made the man and the woman different and called both of them good. Compatibility is not about finding your clone but about finding the one who brings a different ingredient to the table that will match yours. 

Differences are neither life-threatening nor marriage-threatening. Upbringing tempts us to feel either inferior or superior to our spouses. You forget that none of us had anything to do with where we were born or raised, and therefore, deserve neither credit nor discredit. You both get to learn vital things that complement each other and not tear you apart. Do not let ignorance, prejudice or insecurities about your differences ruin your marriage. Approach differences with a sense of appreciation and adventure for a chance to learn something new and you might just grow to love that thing that is so different. You are different but special – fearfully and wonderfully made to complement not confound each other. Differences have a multiplier effect on life or living. They are to be celebrated, not tolerated.

Action Point: Show genuine interest in what makes your spouse different by choosing to share in one of such differences. Make a date of it, complete with smiles, laughter and an appreciation of what makes them tick.

from SOLID…Building the Marriage of your Dreams by Godman Akinlabi