Marriage Devotional

‘Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.’ Proverbs 25:11(NLT)

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)

Have you ever wondered why manners are so important? Well, for one thing, manners preserve relationships. That’s right. When manners are lacking, people may feel violated and relationships can be threatened.

This is especially true in a marriage relationship. In fact, when the honeymoon phase of a marriage comes to a close, emotions may begin to deteriorate if a couple fails to display basic manners toward one another.

Let me give you several examples. When two people begin dating, they typically display very good manners, right? They show appreciation by saying “thank you”; they show consideration by being sensitive and courteous to each other; the man shows care for the woman by opening doors for her; and so on.

As the relationship progresses, it is often typical for a husband and wife to begin to take each other for granted and stop exercising good manners. He or she may fail to show appreciation by saying “thank you”; they are not as sensitive or courteous to one another; a husband may stop opening doors for his wife; and so on.

Manners, however, are very important —they are indicators of the kind of people we are. The presence of manners means that you are a giver. The lack of manners means that you are a taker. The presence of manners means that you are not self-centered. The absence of manners means you are selfish. The presence of manners means that you value others. The absence of manners means that you don’t.

Remember, manners preserve relationships. They preserve a marriage and promote goodwill between a husband and wife. God’s design is for marriage to get progressively better every year. It is never His intention for a marriage to experience an emotional slump for any significant period of time. A lack of passion and goodwill between a husband and wife indicates something is missing in the relationship—primarily good manners.

Talk It Out | How are your manners? Do you treat your spouse the way you did when you first met? Do you treat strangers better than your spouse? An honest assessment of your marriage manners can help you discover a lot about yourself and the overall health of your marriage relationship.

Walk It Out | Think about ways you may have gotten too comfortable and relaxed around each other. Put forth a little effort to change one thing this week—for example, dressing up and looking nice for each other, actively listening when your spouse is talking, etc.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” ‘ 1 Corinthians 15:33(NLT)

Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Your close friends are some of the most important predictors of how successful you will be in life and in marriage. The Scripture from 1 Corinthians is a caution against being deceived by the lie that you can keep bad company and not be negatively affected.

At the University of Chicago, researchers found that couples who stayed together through adversity had friends who wanted them to stay together and had a low opinion of divorce. This proves what the Bible says. It also proves another point that might surprise many people—divorce runs in groups. So do adultery, drug and alcohol abuse, and many other behaviors.

The old saying, “misery loves company” is unfortunately true. It is common for divorce to break out in an office, company, neighborhood, family, or sometimes even in a church group. All it takes is one person going through a divorce and becoming bitter at a husband or wife. This person will look for someone to provide consolation and companionship. If you have a seed of discontent in your marriage, the next thing you know this person will be trying to build an offense between you and your spouse.

To succeed in marriage, you need friends who share your values and are committed to their marriages. There are no such things as perfect friends, even if they are very godly people you meet in church. However, perfection isn’t the issue. The issue is that you have a support group around you encouraging you to do the right thing as you also encourage them.

The last thing you need when you are going through tough times in marriage is someone encouraging you to do the wrong thing. You need wise counsel and prayer from a person of faith and character. Karen and I are blessed with good, godly friends. They have stood with each other through many years of mountaintops and valleys of life.

Don’t be deceived; bad company will corrupt your morals and your marriage. Break off unhealthy relationships and work to create healthy ones. The best place I know of to meet good friends is in a Bible-based church. The people there aren’t perfect any more than you are, but they are people who share your values and will be an essential support base for a successful marriage.

Talk It Out | Honestly evaluate your friendships and speak up about any concerns you have. If you identify that some of your friendships aren’t healthy for your marriage, make a commitment to seek out the kind of friends who share your values.

Walk It Out | Invite another couple over for dinner or go out to a movie together. Spend time cultivating friendships that have a positive effect on your marriage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?’ Amos 3:3(NLT)

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)

Here’s another way of asking this question from the book of Amos: “How can two people get anywhere together without first agreeing on some basic things about the trip?”

It’s a rhetorical question. The obvious answer is, “They can’t.” Two people who are not in agreement simply can’t journey together—not peacefully anyway. Their journey will be a constant battle with very little forward progress. This is especially true of the longest two-person journey in life—marriage.

Over twenty years ago, Karen and I met a special couple, David and Linda Smith. They are the only couple I’ve ever met that I thought might be happier than Karen and me. One day, David shared with me the secret of their happy marriage: Every year they go on a vision retreat.

The Smiths take a three- or four-day trip to get away and spend time praying and talking together about every area of their lives—children, finances, schedules, romance, spirituality, friends, extended family, etc. After spending the mornings praying and talking, they fill their afternoons and evenings with fun and romance. They come away from the retreat with a common vision to guide them through the year.

After talking with David, Karen and I took our first vision retreat. It transformed our already good marriage and took us 144 Jimmy Evans to a higher level. Since then, we have practiced having regular vision retreats, and I highly recommend them to every couple.

A vision retreat helps you see the big picture of your marriage and what it’s all about. The truth is, your life is about something bigger than yourself. You were created by a great God to do something bigger and beyond “you.” Finding God’s purpose for your life together is one of the key foundations of peace and fulfillment in marriage.

Here are three things that a vision retreat will help you accomplish:

1. Discover the God-given purpose for your marriage.

2. Come to an agreement about key issues of your life together.

3. Draw closer together and form a powerful vision for your family’s future.

Talk It Out | Have you ever considered taking a vision retreat together? Talk about the possibilities and any obstacles you would need to work through. Then, go a step further and begin making plans. Consider picking up a copy of The Mountaintop of Marriage, a vision retreat manual that will guide you step-by-step to make the most of your retreat (available at marriagetoday.com).

Walk It Out | Have a mini-retreat by driving out to the country one night, away from the city lights, and gazing up at the star-filled sky. Use this time to share your hopes and dreams with each other.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ‘ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT)

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

One of the most important issues in marriage is that of unity. In Genesis 2:24 when God created Adam, Eve and marriage He said, “the two shall become one” The term one, describing the unity and intimacy of marriage as God created it, is profound. It reveals God’s plan for an unbroken and undiluted team spirit between a man and a woman that creates the greatest bond that can be experienced on earth between two people.

The practical walking out of “oneness” occurs when a couple works as a team. This begins with the simple decision that neither the husband nor the wife will dominate the other. Dominance kills a spirit of unity and intimacy. The best way to make sure dominance isn’t in a marriage is for both spouses to be submitted to the Lordship of Christ. His Will guiding the marriage creates unity and kills dominance.

Another critical issue related to unity is in making important decisions together. This means that there is a standard in the marriage that establishes a clear understanding that you are one and don’t operate independently of each other. When you are making important decisions related to money, children, extended family, jobs, or other key areas, you consult each other and respect each other’s input.

Karen and I will not do anything of any significance without each other’s agreement and blessing. Early in our marriage we were both independent and stubborn and made decisions on our own. The result was deep anger and resentment that almost caused us to divorce.

Today we realize that God put us together to be a team. We are better together. I can truly say that every decision I make with Karen is a better decision than I could make on my own. God has given Karen a unique perspective that is different from mine. I used to think her input was invalid, but now I realize that she is seeing a part of the world that I can’t see. Her input is invaluable to me, as mine is to her. We make a great team.

Unity is critical for a marriage to work. This means that you don’t dominate each other and that you respect each other’s input and opinions. Resolve that you will never make important decisions without talking and praying together. Be a team player in your marriage and commit to honoring your spouse.

Talk It Out | If you’ve made mistakes in this area, it is important to take responsibility for them and repent to your spouse. Ask for forgiveness and make a commitment that you won’t act independently in the future. Talk about times you have made decisions in unity and how that made you feel about your marriage and each other.

Walk It Out | Next time you are walking together into a store or restaurant, hold your spouse’s hand or slip an arm around each other. It’s a simple but powerful way of demonstrating your oneness and unity.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.’ Psalms 119:165(NLT)

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble. (Psalm 119:165)

I was on a television program once where they were taking live questions from viewers all over the U.S. One of the callers had an interesting question for me. The first hint I had that this wasn’t going to be a common question was when she stated that she had ten mothers-in-law.

In the village in Africa where her husband was from, it was common practice to share children among groups. Her husband was literally raised by a group of ten women who each considered themselves to be his mother. Now, after he had immigrated to the United States and married, each of these women were vying for position and influence in his marriage and family. This woman’s husband was passive and wouldn’t stand up and do anything about it. The wife literally couldn’t make any decision or have a say about anything without being usurped by a “mother-in-law.”

I remember how I answered her. I told her that whether she had one mother-in-law or ten, the principles are always the same. Her husband needed to stand up and protect her from the interference of these women.

I’m mentioning her story to make this point: most problems in marriage have pretty simple solutions. Let me encourage you that as difficult as things may be, there is an answer and it’s probably not that complicated. The following is a list of some basic principles that will make a dramatic difference in any marriage.

+ The most important issue in marriage is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

+ Marriage must be the first priority.

+ Marriage is work. There is no such thing as a marriage that operates solely on chemistry or “soul mate” steam.

+ Marriage requires teamwork and sacrifice.

+ Dominance destroys intimacy and goodwill.

+ Men and women are very different and must honor each other’s unique natures and work hard to meet each other’s needs.

+ Couples must deal with anger every day and not go to bed with unresolved issues.

+ Marriage takes faith.

+ One spouse trusting in God and doing the right thing can turn the worst marriage around.

Talk It Out | When you read over this list, does one of these principles jump out at you? Talk about which of these areas you feel you are doing well in, and which ones you would like to improve in.

Walk It Out | Show your spouse that he or she is a priority in your life by saying no to an activity so that the two of you can spend some time together. It might mean missing a tv show you like to watch or skipping lunch with your friends this week so you can have lunch as a couple.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. ‘ 1 John 4:7(NLT)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)

Last week we discussed the difference between having a gardener’s mentality and a consumer’s mentality in marriage. Today we will look at another mindset that is critical to having a successful marriage. I call it having an “owner’s mentality” as opposed to a “renter’s mentality.”

Suppose you were going to rent a house. Before signing the lease, the landlord said, “It will cost $50,000 to repair this house, and you will have to pay that amount in order to lease it.” What would you do? Obviously you wouldn’t agree to that, and neither would I. As a short-term renter, you simply wouldn’t invest that much money in someone else’s property.

However, if you owned a house and discovered that extensive and expensive repairs were needed, it would be a different matter. As the owner, you would have a compelling interest
to take care of the property. You would be willing to make the repairs—you would even be willing to sacrifice to make the needed investment.

I’m sure you can understand how having a renter’s mentality in marriage can be devastating. With this mindset, when you encounter your spouse’s faults, you may begin to wonder if you married the wrong person. When difficult times knock on the door, you will begin to entertain thoughts that the marriage won’t last.

In effect, a renter’s mentality causes you to become passive when your marriage needs the most attention. Your spouse is viewed as the landlord who must fix up the place. And with one foot positioned at the back door, you begin to entertain the thought that another house just might just be the answer. Of course, at that point the devil becomes your personal real estate agent to entice you with a better property next door, at work, or on TV.

It’s easy to understand why an owner’s mentality is needed for success in marriage. An owner’s mentality demonstrates a commitment to the relationship regardless of the circumstances. Rather than being passive about problems and entertaining the possibility of moving, an owner rolls up his or her sleeves and becomes proactive, aggressive, and sacrificial in the face of needed repairs.

With an owner’s mentality, you don’t view your spouse as a negligent landlord. Rather you see your husband or wife as a co-owner of the home. As an owner, you know that your efforts will have a positive impact on the marriage for a long time; therefore, you work, serve, and give whatever it takes. That is the secret to building a great marriage.

Talk It Out | When problems occur in your relationship, do you expect your spouse to do all of the work to make things right, or do you roll up your shirtsleeves and go to work? In your mind, is your spouse a landlord or a co-owner? Talk about the difference it makes in your relationship when you know the other person is fully invested in the success of your marriage.

Walk It Out | Make this a night for foot rubs. Use massage oil or lotion, and give each other a soothing and relaxing foot massage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged.’ Isaiah 42:3(NLT)

Living by the Spirit’s Power
‘Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:1-33(NLT)

A bruised reed He will not break. (Isaiah 42:3)

Here in America, most people have a consumer’s mentality. When a consumer buys a product and brings it home and realizes there is a problem with it, he or she takes it back. As a consumer, you pay for something and you expect your money’s worth. You take no responsibility for the problem the product came with.

Often couples bring a consumer mentality into their marriages. Obviously, we all marry imperfect people, and we ourselves are imperfect. But many people become overwhelmed by the faults of their spouses. In fact, it is common for couples to wonder if they married the wrong person at some point in time.

Of course, the devil loves to point out your spouse’s flaws and problems because he is the accuser. To stop the devil in his tracks and to keep your spouse’s faults from overwhelming you and damaging your marriage, you must adopt a different mentality. I call it the gardener’s mentality. It is the opposite of the consumer’s mentality. Let me explain.

A gardener is a different breed. Say, for example, there is a tree or shrub in a gardener’s care that is unhealthy or has problems. A true gardener doesn’t accuse the seller or reject the plant. A gardener takes responsibility to do what is necessary to restore the plant to health. He or she asks the question, “I wonder what I could be doing that would cause this problem?” Or, “I wonder what I can do that will fix it and restore it to health?”

We can all thank God that Jesus has a gardener’s mentality toward us. Even though He is in no way responsible for our problems, He loves us and nurtures us to health. In Ephesians chapter five, men are charged with “nourishing and cherishing” their wives. Interestingly, those are both agricultural words. Even the word husband is an agricultural term (e.g., husbandman).

Related to marriage, are you a gardener or a consumer? If you are a consumer, you are most likely impatient and frustrated with your spouse’s problems. You take no responsibility to do what you can to nurture your spouse or redeem the situation. You probably think you might have made a mistake.

If you are a gardener, you see the problems in your spouse but view them much differently from a consumer. You are optimistic about them getting better because you are proactive and positive. Your caring behavior gives your spouse the encouragement and loving atmosphere needed to get better. Also, your prayers and obedience become God’s tools for redeeming your spouse and making him or her into the person God intended.

Talk It Out | Has your attitude toward your spouse been that of a gardener or a consumer? Identify attitudes and tendencies you would like to change, and talk about how to follow through on those changes.

Walk It Out | Buy a package of seeds and plant them (in a container indoors if necessary). As you watch the seeds sprout and grow into healthy plants, think about the positive results of nurturing care and how that applies to your marriage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!’ Isaiah 26:3(NLT)

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3)

I gave a phone interview recently with a researcher who wanted to know what I thought was the greatest threat to marriages in modern society. I told him that I thought there were several but one of the leading threats is stress. Society is moving at a faster pace than ever and demanding more of us all of the time. Especially during certain seasons or times of transition in life (births, deaths, illnesses, a new job, moving to a new city), couples experience the most pressure and more family problems as a result.

To succeed in marriage, you simply must keep the stress in your life and household to a manageable level. You must view stress as an archenemy that threatens to destroy you. By the way, did you know that the primary cause of doctor’s office visits is stress-related illness? And financial stress destroys more marriages than any other single issue. The stress of over-burdened schedules robs you of the time you need to be together as well as the emotional and physical energy that is essential for relational intimacy. Stress is deadly.

Take some of these steps to manage your stress levels:

+ Begin every day with a time of prayer and Bible reading. Trust God with the problems and needs of your life, and don’t let the burden rest on you. Also, pray for direction and make sure the decisions and choices you are making are being guided by the Lord. He will always lead you into a life of rest and peace and will keep you from harm.

+ Honor the Sabbath Day every week. One of the Ten Commandments is that we honor the Sabbath Day to keep it holy. It is critical for our spiritual, emotional and physical health. It gets us out of the rat race and also keeps us from acting like them (the rats)! Be sure and be faithful to attend and participate in a good Bible-believing church.

+ Avoid debt and over-extending yourself financially. Save money and pay cash as much as possible. Debt creates stress that robs you of the joy of what you purchase and possess.

+ Schedule and protect time to be together every day as a couple to talk and relate without distraction. Even if it is only twenty or thirty minutes, it greatly reduces stress and increases intimacy and goodwill.

Finally, I just want to encourage you to keep Jesus as the focus of your life. He is the Prince of Peace and ultimate stress-buster. The more we worship and celebrate Him, the better everything becomes.

Talk It Out | How manageable is the stress level in your marriage? What can you do to help reduce it? Talk about practical ways you can follow he steps listed above and keep stress at a minimum in your lives.

Walk It Out | Spend a quiet time together this week. Read a Scripture that’s especially meaningful to you, and pray together, committing your needs and cares to God.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.’ Proverbs 15:22(NLT)

Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established. (Proverbs 15:22)

In many major cities, especially in the South, you will notice an emergency designation on main highways that is there to help people flee when a dangerous hurricane is approaching. Local authorities wisely plan before a disaster strikes, because it can save lives and prevent chaos from setting in and creating even more problems than a natural disaster.

Couples also need to have a disaster plan for their marriages. It is almost inevitable that every couple will face an impasse at some point. It could be over the issue of sex, children, in-laws, money, an affair, or any number of issues.

An emergency plan simply means you have agreed together that in the event you can’t work things out as a couple, you will go together to seek and submit to pastoral or professional Christian counsel. Without this, a dangerous dynamic can set in and you will either lock down into a running battle or, just as bad, square off in a cold war.

About twenty years ago, Karen and I reached an impasse in our marriage concerning an issue. We had already decided that if we couldn’t work things out between us we would submit to counseling, so we went to one of the women counselors at the church I was pastoring. We knew her well and both trusted her.

At the end of the session, she sided with Karen. She told me that I didn’t understand the situation properly, and then she tried to help me see a different perspective. Honestly, I struggled with her decision; however, I had decided to submit to her counsel. The case was closed. I apologized to Karen and followed the counselor’s advice.

Looking back twenty years later, it was a crucial point in our relationship. Since then, we have dealt with the same issue many times but have never had a serious problem. Also, in looking back, the counselor was right. I was wrong in the way I was looking at the situation and in the way I was relating to Karen. I am very glad I submitted myself to spiritual counsel.

Like I said before, I believe almost every couple will face an impasse at some point in their marriage over an issue that can threaten the future of their relationship. Having an emergency relief plan for your marriage is as important as a hurricane route is for a community on the Gulf of Mexico. It may not happen very often, but when it does, it can mean the difference between life and death—peace and chaos.

Talk It Out | Do you have an emergency relief plan for your marriage? Now is the best time to map out your strategy. Decide on a pastor, leader or professional Christian counselor whom you would both trust, and agree beforehand that you will follow their advice. Also discuss the warning signs that will let you both know it’s time to implement the emergency plan.

Walk It Out | Leave a note in an unexpected place–on the bathroom mirror, on her pillow, or taped to the steering wheel of his car–just to say “I’m thinking of you.”

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. ‘ Hebrews 13:8(NLT)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

In your house, I’m sure you have a thermostat that controls the heating and/or air conditioning. On that thermostat there is also a thermometer that shows the actual temperature. Of course, the thermostat is the more important of the two, because it actually controls the environment. The thermometer merely reflects the work of the thermostat.

In marriage, you must determine what the thermostat of your relationship is going to be—emotion or decision. In other words, how are you going to control the atmosphere of your relationship? Is it going to be determined by how you feel or by deciding to do the right thing regardless of how you feel?

When you build your marriage upon the thermostat of decision, it doesn’t mean that emotions aren’t important. It simply means that both of you are willing to act above your emotions if they are negative or passive. Because you act in a positive and proactive manner on a consistent basis, your emotions become the thermometer of the marriage that reflects a stable and passionate relationship.

But when emotions are the thermostat of your marriage, you’re in for a rough ride. The dangerous thing about living based on emotion is the inconsistency of it. You simply cannot predict your emotions. You never know when you are going to feel up or down. But even worse than that is the fact that the more you act upon your emotions, the more unsuccessful life becomes, which produces even more negative emotions—and then more negative behavior.

You’ve probably heard me say this before, but love is a decision, not an emotion. True love is the choice to do the right thing for the object of your affection regardless of negative circumstances or the other person’s behavior. It also includes the decision to be committed through every phase, challenge, and season of marriage without wavering.

Don’t worship your emotions. They will lead you to a rollercoaster ride of frustration and failure. Worship God and let His love be the standard for your own. God’s love is stable and consistent. Through the ups and downs of life, His love for you never changes.

Talk It Out | Is it time for a new thermostat in your marriage? Think of a situation when your emotions caused you to respond negatively to each other. What choices could you make to be proactive in changing that behavior before your emotions take control?

Walk It Out | Go on a lunch date this week, just the two of you. Try out a special restaurant you wouldn’t normally go to, and choose a day when your schedule isn’t rushed so that you can spend a little extra time just relaxing and talking about the events of your week.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans