Marriage Devotional

‘Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.’ Proverbs 16:24(NLT)

‘Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”’ Proverbs 31:28-29(NLT)

‘So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

How often do you praise your spouse? We may often think a good thought about someone but never end up sharing it with them—not that we keep it to ourselves on purpose; we simply let the moment pass. The other day Nancy was talking on the phone, and as I eavesdropped a little, I was so impressed with how she was handling what seemed to be a very difficult situation. I thought that when she finished, I would tell her how proud I was of her—but I completely forgot. I’m quite good at telling her I think she looks pretty, but that comes rather easy for most guys since we so readily respond to anything visual. When it comes to praising her for her character, words, or actions, I need to learn to say it when I think it. When people tell me something positive they observed about Nancy, it makes me proud. I need to remember to pass on to her what I was told. The point is that we need to verbally communicate those good things to our spouse. It is really good for both of us. It shows them we care enough to say it, and it reminds us that our spouse is very special. 

Today’s One Thing: Share something good about your spouse with them today! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Proverbs 4:23(NLT)

‘Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.’ Psalms 90:12(NLT)

‘Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. ‘ Ephesians 5:17(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

We all agree that spending time on a date with our spouse is a good thing. Dates are fun, and they bring us closer together. The problem for many of us comes when we don’t intentionally find the time to plan that date. Before we know it, another week has passed and still no date. I have an idea for you: Try impromptu dates. These dates are not intended to take the place of great planned dates, but they give you some other options that you may not have considered. Here is an example: Going to the grocery store is something most of us have to do at least once a week. Why not make shopping a date rather than just a necessary chore? Go together; talk on the way and while you fill your cart; enjoy coffee or ice cream together. The idea is to look for opportunities to turn a checklist item on your to-do list into a meaningful date. It could be anything from running errands together instead of separately to meeting at the gym and exercising together. This type of “dating” really just involves a mindset shift. Impromptu dating opportunities are all around you. Don’t miss them!

Today’s One Thing: Turn one checklist item into an impromptu date this week! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. ‘ Ephesians 4:2-3(NLT)

‘Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?’ Proverbs 20:6(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Is there a benefit in saying to your spouse “I like you” in addition to “I love you?” I know at times there are things I do that Nancy does not. When I tease her, for example, there’s a 50/50 chance she won’t like it—a lot depends on how far I take it, though! We all can probably think of things we don’t especially like about our spouse. 

This is my take: I knew pretty early in my relationship with Nancy that I could really love this woman. I can’t remember anything I did not like about her during those early stages of our relationship. As we dated for two years, we learned a lot more about each other—and not everything was particularly likable. There were a few things I didn’t like but a whole lot of things I really liked. Then I asked her to marry me. I made a choice to embrace all of her and spend the rest of my life with her. God has used our marriage to refine us over the years into more of who He designed us to be. Marriage can do that! Nancy often tells me she loves me, and I’ve never doubted her love for me; but when she says she really likes me, that is something special. I want her to like me, and I want her to know that I like her. It puts a positive focus on each of us and our marriage.

Today’s One Thing: Tell your spouse you really like them! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ‘ James 1:5(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Some weeks I am too busy. Since I love what I do, busyness often sneaks up on me and my life gets out of balance. My marriage can linger on the sidelines. Next to God, Nancy is the most important person in my life. I used to jump through hoops to make up for not spending the time and effort with her that I needed to. That’s not all bad, and I often need to do that, but I want to let you in on something that really has made a difference for me. I consistently pray that God will increase my love for Nancy. I know it sounds like a simple request, but you will be amazed how God shows up. When I am distracted, I think of her. I feel this awe as I look at her. I want to do things that show her my love. I used to think I could build up the love tank and then go on cruise control for a few days. That does not work. I drain it empty every day and then need a fill-up. I learned that when I put the ball in God’s court with anything that has to do with my marriage, He shows up big time! 

Today’s One Thing: Pray today for God to increase your love for your spouse. Then get ready for Him to answer! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.’ Song of Songs 8:6-7(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Does romance have to fade over time in a marriage? This notion that marital romance gradually dies over time is a “cultural truth” that becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy when we accept it as fact. We get married, and the romance is good. After a few years (usually when kids come into the picture), it begins to fade. We think the fading romance is the norm, so we accept it and move on. We might think about the “good old days” when the fire was lit, but now we think it would take too much work to rekindle the fire. 

Today I want to blow that “cultural truth” out of the water. Romance does not have to fade. In fact, I have counseled many couples who would say the romance in their marriage has grown over the years. Maybe we need to stop and define romance. Romance is not sex, but sex can become romantic. Romance happens when a husband and wife are purposeful about finding ways to express their love for each other every day. It may involve nonsexual touching, helping around the house, or making alone time for each other a priority. When we consistently do things like these, the sex will take care of itself. So whether you have been married one year, five years, or fifty years, if the romance has died, it is time to get the shock paddles and bring it back to life!

Today’s One Thing: Write down two things you think are romantic and share them with your spouse.  

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘ James 1:19(NLT)

‘A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.’ Proverbs 17:27(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

When you and your spouse spend time together daily, what is the most important component of your interaction? Is it talking or listening? I believe listening is essential to making the most of your time together. Here’s an example: If Nancy finishes talking to me and I bring up something that is important to me instead of responding to her, she will think I did not listen to anything she said. If that happens, it defeats the whole purpose of our time together. Setting aside time to connect and then not listening to your spouse will do just the opposite of what you wanted. 

Research shows that humans can listen five times faster than they can talk. If Nancy is talking to me, I have to decide how I am going to use that extra time. If I use it to think about what I want to say when she finishes or something else I want to go do, there is no way that I will connect with her. If I focus on her, make eye contact, and listen to every word she says, she will feel valued and cared for and we will connect and grow our marriage. The bonus is that if I listen well to her, she then listens well to me. She wins, I win, and our marriage wins!

Today’s One Thing: When your spouse is talking to you today, really listen. 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.’ Ephesians 4:29(NLT)

‘Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.’ Proverbs 25:11(NLT)

‘Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.’ Proverbs 12:25(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

A few years ago I read a research study dealing with the effect a parent can have on a child by praising them one time each day. The results amazed me. That one consistent, simple, daily thing literally turned many kids around. So I started thinking: If it works for kids, doesn’t it make sense that it would also work for adults? I mean, we were all kids once, weren’t we? 

How about you? What would you say to praise your spouse today? Let me give you some ideas, because we often get stuck in the negative and struggle to find the positive. When I see Nancy put effort into something she does for me, I always try to tell her how much that means to me. It may be a dinner she cooks or something as simple as how she does my laundry and nicely folds my clothes. When something good happens in her work, I want her to hear as much praise from me as she does from her colleagues. I tell her every day she is beautiful—because she is, and because I want her to hear it first from me. Now it’s your turn. What will you say?

Today’s One Thing: Praise your spouse for one thing today! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

‘May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ Romans 15:5-6(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Just six months into our marriage, when Nancy and I decided that we had to be more purposeful with our time together, it was a pretty easy decision. I had work and she had college, but we did not have many other distractions to deal with. A few years later that changed when we had kids, we had volunteer work, we were involved in church, and we were tired. None of our distractions were bad in and of themselves, yet they took time away from our marriage. We were saying yes to good things, but every “yes” meant a “no” for our time together. We began to look at our schedules to see what we could change. 

First, we agreed to limit volunteer work and to not sign up for everything that came along in our church. Then we looked at the time we spent with our kids. They were truly our greatest blessing, but we were not doing a very good job of setting aside time for each other amid the demands of parenting. Then we discovered a truth that was huge for us: If we were going to model a healthy marriage for our kids, they needed to see us making time for each other a priority. How could we expect them to grow up and value time with their spouse if they did not see us do that? Now what about you? What are the distractions in your marriage? Are they controlling you or are you controlling them? What is your first step in dealing with your distractions?

Today’s One Thing: Together identify a distraction in your marriage and decide how you can keep it from affecting your marriage. 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. ‘ Ecclesiastes 9:9(NLT)

‘In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.’ 1 Peter 3:1-6(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

How much time do you spend on average each day with your spouse? One survey concluded that most married couples spend five minutes or less together a day. That same survey says that before marriage those same couples spent three hours together a day! That is twenty-one hours a week before marriage and thirty-five minutes a week after. In college, when Nancy and I were dating, we spent a ton of time together and it was great. Then we got married, and things began to change. She was continuing with college; I was building a career. We still spent time together, but we were not as purposeful about how we used that time. We really began to take each other for granted. Six months into marriage we were drifting apart and knew something had to change. 

What about you and your spouse? Are you at five minutes or three hours or somewhere in between? Is your relationship closer now than it was this time last year, or are you drifting apart? If your marriage is going to grow, there is no shortcut to time spent together. Start today and be purposeful. If you are currently spending zero time together each day, start by spending five minutes a day with each other. Make it the most connected five minutes you can imagine: talk, touch, listen. You will be amazed at the difference it can make.

Today’s One Thing: Spend five minutes today connecting with your spouse. 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord . “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’ Isaiah 55:8-9(NLT)

‘“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.’ Matthew 7:9-11(NLT)

‘Bend down, O Lord , and hear my prayer; answer me, for I need your help.’ Psalms 86:1(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Here’s an idea for you to think about: If we knew everything that God knows, we would answer our prayers exactly like God does. Let that soak in. We see life through our eyes and pray accordingly. God sees the big picture and answers accordingly. If we truly believe that God is good, which He is, then we need to believe that His answers to our prayers are perfect for us. 

When Nancy and I talk about things we would like to pray for or need to pray for, the list can be a little overwhelming. What about you and your spouse? What would your list look like? Even if your list may seem a little (or a lot) overwhelming, try this. First, keep your prayer list, pray, and trust our good God to answer every prayer perfectly for you. Second, pick one thing for the two of you to pray about. Use the following questions as your criteria for this “one thing”: Is it something only God can do? From what you know about the Bible, is your “one thing” something that God would want for you? Are you willing to do your part? When God answers, how will you respond to Him? Will you look for other blessings that come your way from God in this process? What is your “one thing” in prayer that God will use to change your marriage? 

Today’s One Thing: Pray that God will use the “one thing” you are praying for to change your marriage. 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling