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US AGAINST THE WORLD: Biblical Love – Day 3

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

Key Verse: “…it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4b

Devotional: 

From Tamela: Love does not envy. To me that means that I should never look at something David has and wish that I had it. Why? Because the two of us are one. If he can manage the money better, I won’t envy that—I will celebrate that. If he can articulate his words better than me, I see it like this: every time people compliment him, they are complimenting me, because we are one.

From David: Love does not boast. I don’t know if you’ve ever met a man who does this, but I know many people who brag about every little thing they do for their spouse. I bought her those shoes. I cleaned the house for her. But when you love your spouse, I believe you never need to brag about what you do or how you love, because when I love Tam correctly, she will boast for me, without me. Tam doesn’t throw it in my face if she does something for me. And husbands who love like Jesus don’t need a lot of accolades every time they do something nice for their spouse. When you’re in love, you do what you do because your heart wants to do it. Love does not boast.

From Tamela: Love is not proud. You’d be surprised how many marriages are suffering because one spouse is too prideful to ask the other spouse for help. I ask David for help all the time. When we are recording in the studio, I turn to him and ask him if I did a good job. I think it’s so important to remember that two married people are both a part of a team. God uniquely designed me to accompany David in life’s journey because God knew David would need some assistance. But the same is true for me. David helps me to be better, and when he helps me, it’s a sign of his love toward me. I don’t see pride when David walks in the room. I see a partner. I see a cheerleader. I can be naked and unashamed with him because, flaws and all, I know he loves me. I’ve also found that the older we get, the easier it is to let go of pride. After a while you just start telling the truth. That’s what love does.

from US AGAINST THE WORLD: Biblical Love by David & Tamela Mann

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US AGAINST THE WORLD: Biblical Love – Day 2

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

Key Verse: “Love is patient, love is kind…” 1 Corinthians 13:4a

Devotional: 

From TamelaPatience is the first way to know that love is present. As I said earlier, many people are attracted by instant gratification, but when you are patient, you are willing to wait until your spouse is ready. You won’t rush them to become something or someone that they aren’t ready to become. You’ll wait on the things that take a little more time for them. You won’t demand that everything be perfect immediately. Love allows you to walk with your spouse as they grow and mature. Love helps you to see something in your spouse worth waiting for. When you really love your spouse, it will help you to see your own shortcomings before you impatiently bring up theirs.

From David: Love is also kind. By kind, that means I must speak to Tam in a manner that honors her. I learned a long time ago that a soft answer turns away wrath, so I speak to her the way I want her to speak to me—lovingly, thoughtfully, and softly. The question is, are you kind to your spouse? Would he call you gentle with your words? Would she say that you are a safe place for her? Kindness is a discipline that must be developed within us, every day, on purpose.

from US AGAINST THE WORLD: Biblical Love by David & Tamela Mann

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US AGAINST THE WORLD: Biblical Love – Day 1

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

Key Verse: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

Devotional: 

From David: When I think about my love for Tamela, the Scripture that comes to mind is 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. We use these verses as the litmus test to make sure we are loving one another the way God wants us to love.

Marriage is a commitment to love your spouse for a lifetime. There are no vacation days, summers off, weekend visits, or refunds. When I said “I do”, I committed to being there in every situation and season. Honestly, love doesn’t usually show up in those first few weeks or months when everybody is on their best behavior. People talk about love at first sight, but love doesn’t come easily or fast. Love is a habit that we learn and grow into. Loving someone is about sacrifice and selflessness. True love will still be there after hair starts falling out or when the extra weight starts packing on. True love can survive the test of time because it is about seeing, serving, and choosing to uplift your spouse. Real love shines brightest when the lights are off.

These verses introduce fourteen characteristics of love. When I say, “I love you, Tam,” that means I am willing to demonstrate all fourteen of these characteristics to my wife. To me, this is what godly love looks like. 

from US AGAINST THE WORLD: Biblical Love by David & Tamela Mann

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What happens when a couple worships together?

‘Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. ‘ Colossians 3:16(NLT)

‘Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.’ Hebrews 12:28-29(NLT)

‘Give to the Lord the glory he deserves! Bring your offering and come into his presence. Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor.’ 1 Chronicles 16:29 (NLT)

‘Each of these living beings had six wings, and their wings were covered all over with eyes, inside and out. Day after day and night after night they keep on saying, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty— the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come.”’ Revelation 4:8(NLT)

Devotional Content

What happens when a couple worships together? Let’s first define what that means. For Nancy and me, worshiping together can actually happen anywhere as long as we are together and our focus is on God. But let’s focus today on attending a church service together. 

Do we automatically start worshiping together when we walk into the service and sit down? Probably not, because we need to focus on what is happening and what is going to happen. The key to worshiping together is walking in with anticipation. Then as we sing the same songs, hear the same message, and pray the same prayers, we are connecting together with God. It is an experiential thing. I feel closer to God and closer to Nancy. 

We have been worshiping together for many years now, but it is always transformative — every single time. This really came into focus for me a number of years ago when Nancy was out of town and I went to church alone. I experienced the difference. Sure, I still felt God’s presence, but I missed experiencing it with her. I can’t really explain it in words, but I know it is part of that whole “two become one” mystery. I am so grateful to our God who came up with the whole idea of marriage in the first place!

Today’s One Thing: As you attend church this week, go with the anticipation of encountering God and worshiping with your spouse! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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What you do

‘The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.’ 1 Corinthians 10:13(NLT)

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5(NLT)

‘Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10(NLT)

Devotional Content

Some days I really think I nail it as a husband. It just seems to come easy. I’m in a good mood. I am patient. I express my love. I serve. I do all the right things and none of the wrong. I wish I could say I’m consistent in perfecting my role as husband every day, but I’m not. In fact, the days I nail it are few and really far between. 

Most days I succeed in one or two areas. It’s not that I don’t want a home run every day, because I do; but my humanity gets in the way. So on most days I can beat myself up for striking out, but God is teaching me to focus on the hits, not the misses. In other words, I may only do one thing right as a husband some days, but that one thing can make a difference in my marriage—especially if it is praying with my wife or serving her or setting aside time to be with her. When I focus on the misses, I stay in a pile of regret. When I focus on the hit, I get excited and am motivated to get another hit the following day. Marriage is a journey. None of us will be perfect every day, but we can do that one thing that makes a difference.

Today’s One Thing: Focus on what you do for your marriage today, not on what you don’t do! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Action words

‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”’ Mark 10:45(NLT)

‘Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ‘ 1 John 3:18(NLT)

Devotional Content

Harvard Law School lists about two hundred action words that students can use to describe their experiences and accomplishments. There are words like adjustedbalancedcounseledillustrated, and served. Guess what word is not in this extensive list? Love

The dictionary lists three different uses of the word love as a noun. But when I use the word love relating to marriage, I use it as an action word. Love is how I express my affection for Nancy by the way I do life with her. I want to serve her, cherish her, and have fun with her. Those desires may originate in my heart, but the way she sees them is through my actions—the things I do for her, the way I treat her, the activities that we do and enjoy together. I can tell her a thousand times a day that I love her, and she likes that; but what turns her head are the actions that are born out of love. What about you? What is an action of love you want to do for your spouse today? 

Today’s One Thing: Turn your love for your spouse today into one action of love! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Accepting the Difficult

‘A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.’ Proverbs 17:17(NLT)

‘Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. ‘ 1 Peter 4:8(NLT)

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

Devotional Content

It seems that most couples who enter into marriage think they know each other pretty well. That was certainly true of Nancy and me, but it did not take us long to realize that living together as husband and wife revealed lots of new things we did not know about each other. Some new things we really liked, but a few new revelations were unsettling. (Honestly, Nancy had a lot more to deal with than I did.) 

In our first year of marriage we found ourselves clueless as to how to deal with a few things about each other that were a little difficult to accept. What about you? Is there something about your spouse that is hard for you to accept? How does that affect you day to day? There have been a lot of things in marriage that have taken me years to make sense out of, but this is one I figured out pretty early. When I stood at the altar and said, “I do,” there were no conditions on that commitment. My vows covered everything I knew about Nancy and everything I did not know. I took her as my wife, and it was never going to be my job to change her—that was God’s job. That one reality was truly a lifesaver for our marriage.

Today’s One Thing: If there is something about your spouse that is difficult for you to accept, turn it over to God today! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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They key to great romance

‘No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ‘ Ephesians 5:29(NLT)

‘Do to others as you would like them to do to you.’ Luke 6:31(NLT)

Devotional Content

Do you know how to make sure the romantic thing you are doing for your spouse is really romantic? This is not rocket science—just ask your spouse! My dad was a romantic. He did so many things for my mom that she loved. So when I entered into marriage, I had a long list of romantic things to do for Nancy. Yet, there was one problem: Everything I did for Nancy was not always received the way I intended. I thought something was wrong with her! 

It took me a little too long to figure out that what my mom thought was romantic and what Nancy thought was romantic were often different. My mom’s love language was gifts, and Nancy’s is quality time. Nancy liked the gifts I bought, but when I set aside time each day to spend with her, that was when she really felt loved. That was romance for her. Think about it this way: If you are going to carve out time, put out effort, or spend money to be romantic, why not be sure you hit a home run? 

Today’s One Thing: Ask your spouse one thing they consider romantic—then do it! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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When did you know?

‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)

‘Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:22-24(NLT)

Devotional Content

Whether you are just married or have been married for many years, answer this question for me: When did you know that he or she was the one? For me it was pretty early in our dating relationship. Since I thought Nancy was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, I’m sure I thought on date one that I could marry her! Yet, as we dated, I began to see the ways she was different from other girls that I had dated, and they were differences I really liked. She also had all the things that I had liked in other girls I had dated (not that I had dated very many girls). I knew she was the one when I took time to add everything up. She was beautiful, caring, fun, interesting, strong, opinionated, smart, adventurous, and my best friend. Best of all, she loved me and wanted to build a marriage on God. What about you? When did you know? What was on your list? 

Today’s One Thing: Tell your spouse when you knew and why today!

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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What is the secret?

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ‘ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT)

‘Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.’ Proverbs 3:3-4(NLT)

Devotional Content

Say your marriage makes it 50 years and on that 50th anniversary, as family and friends gather to celebrate with you, someone asks, “What is your secret to a lifelong marriage?” How would you answer? 

If someone had asked me that question on our wedding day many years ago, I think my answer would have been “love.” At 22, I was seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. I knew I loved Nancy and she loved me, and that was all we needed. I just knew that we were set for a great life together. 

Today I would answer that question differently. Sure, love is still important, but love alone will not get you to the finish line. I think my answer today would be commitment—commitment to each other and to God; a deep, etched-in-stone commitment that covers the good days, the bad days and all the days in between; a commitment that never wavers, no matter what. That is the secret to going the distance.

Today’s One Thing: Renew your commitment to your spouse and to God! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling