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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

The Impact of Family

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

‘“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ Exodus 20:12(NLT)

‘Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.’ Romans 12:18(NLT)

Family background has a big influence on a marriage

  • for some people, the support they receive from their family is good and helpful in building a strong marriage
  • for others, their wider family dynamics are more complicated and can even be damaging 

Leaving and letting go

When we get married, a profound change should take place in our relationship with our parent or parents (or whoever were our main caregivers as we grew up)

  • the change from being a child and completely dependent upon them to a healthy independence as an adult
  • the significance of leaving is not so much the physical move as the psychological and emotional one
  • we create a new ‘centre of gravity’ — our highest loyalty must be to each other

Support each other. 

If necessary, put boundaries in place, not to cut yourselves off from your parents but to connect with them as a couple in a new way.

Listen to parental advice, but make your own decisions together as a couple.

Building healthy family relationships

1. Resolve any conflict

Use the same process as in Day 4 to unblock the drain:

  • identify and talk about the main issue causing tension
  • apologise when you have been wrong
  • choose to forgive and move on

2. Consider their needs

It can be helpful to take the initiative with parents about things like:

  • visiting them
  • enabling them to see their grandchildren
  • working out what holidays you might spend together
  • phoning them

Looking at our past

We bring a mixture of experiences into our marriage from our family background:

  • what was good (be grateful for that)
  • what was different to our partner’s experience (be aware that this can cause conflict)
  • what was negative (and may be painful)

Healing childhood pain

1. Grieve your own and your partner’s unmet needs

You may encounter strong feelings as you do this, but recognizing and admitting to yourself the hurt you’ve experienced can be a huge step forward. Allow your partner to talk about what they suffered or missed out on and give them the gift of your emotional support.

2. Forgive

Give up continuing expectations and longings of what you have wanted your parents or others to be for you. Remember, forgiveness is an ongoing act of the will and is essential for healing.

Forgiving someone is not condoning their actions or giving them the right to repeat what they’ve done. Forgiveness is about being set free from the ways they’ve hurt you. 

from The Marriage Course

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

The Power of Forgiveness

‘And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ‘ Ephesians 4:26(NLT)

‘“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.’ Matthew 5:23-24(NLT)

‘“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. ‘ Matthew 18:15(NLT)

‘Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT)

Saying sorry and forgiving each other are vital because we will all hurt our partner.

Unresolved hurt will undermine the trust and openness between us and destroy our intimacy.

Reactions to hurt

Anger

Anger is not bad in itself — it has a God-given purpose and is part of our internal mechanism to signal something is wrong and needs to be sorted out.

What happens if hurt and anger are buried?

Behavioural symptoms

  • inability to relax
  • low sexual desire
  • quick temper / intolerance
  • escape through drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc
  • escape into work / children / religious activities, etc

Physical symptoms

  • disturbed sleep
  • appetite affected
  • medical conditions eg: ulcers, high blood pressure, pain

Emotional symptoms

  • loss of positive emotions such as romance, love, joy
  • low self-esteem / depression
  • shut down
  • fear of confrontation

Process for healing hurt

1. Talk about the hurt

Whether you have hurt your partner or have been hurt by them, take the initiative to bring it out into the open so things can be healed. An accumulation of small hurts, if left unaddressed, can lead to a loss of intimacy, just as small stones can eventually block a drain.

2. Say sorry

Take responsibility — resist the urge to make excuses or to blame your partner.

Making excuses / blaming our partner: ‘I know I criticised you in front of the children yesterday, but I wouldn’t have done so if you hadn’t made us late.’

Proper apology: ‘I hurt you by criticising you in front of the children yesterday; it was unkind of me. I’m sorry.’

Confessing our faults to God and receiving his forgiveness helps us to see how our actions have hurt our partner.

3. Forgive

Forgiveness is essential and one of the greatest forces for healing in a marriage.

Forgiveness is, first and foremost, a choice, not a feeling:

  • forgiveness always costs us something
  • the question is not, ‘Do we feel like forgiving?’ but, ‘Will we forgive? Will we let go of our self-pity / demand for justice / desire to retaliate?’

Forgiveness IS NOT:

  • pretending that the hurt doesn’t matter and trying to forget about it
  • denying the hurt (and just hoping it will go away)
  • thinking, ‘Our love for each other will somehow magically resolve any ways we hurt each other so it doesn’t matter’

Forgiveness IS:

  • facing the wrong done to us
  • recognizing the emotions inside
  • choosing not to hold it against our partner

Forgiveness is a process — we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt, sometimes on a daily basis.

from The Marriage Course

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Resolving Conflict

‘Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. ‘ Romans 15:7(NLT)

‘or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:5(NLT)

Conflict is inevitable in every marriage — all couples will disagree about certain things.

We come into marriage with different backgrounds, desires, priorities and personalities

  • It’s no good trying to force our partner to do things our way
  • If we have the right tools, addressing the conflict can strengthen our relationship
  • In marriage, we are on the same side, the same team

Four principles for handling conflict

1. Remember your partner’s positive qualities

Continue to show appreciation for what you love (and admire) about your partner (even while you may disagree passionately about various issues). The more we concentrate on the things we appreciate about each other, the more appreciative we become of each other. 

Make it a daily habit to show your appreciation of your partner.

2. Recognise that differences are good

Don’t try to change each other. Learn to accept differences of temperament, personality, upbringing and values.

See your marriage as a partnership in which you combine your strengths and support each other’s weaknesses.

3. Look for an ‘us’ solution

Five practical steps:

1. Focus on the issue

  • move the issue from between you and put it in front of you
  • discuss the issue rather than attacking each other

2. Use ‘I’ statements

  • avoid labelling (‘You always…’, ‘You never…’)
  • describe your feelings (‘I feel undervalued when…’)

3. Listen to each other

  • take it in turns to talk (the speaker holds something to indicate whose turn it is)

4. Brainstorm possible solutions

  • make a list if necessary

5. Decide on the best solution for now and review later

  • if it’s not working, try another solution from your list

Take an issue that’s causing conflict and try using these five steps.

4. Support your partner

When we expect our partner to meet all our needs, we inevitably fail each other and get hurt, causing our marriage to spiral downwards. 

Focus more on meeting your partner’s needs rather than expecting them to meet yours. 

When we look to God to meet our needs for unconditional love, we are able to focus more easily on each other’s needs.

Praying for each other helps us connect on a regular basis

  • five to ten minutes a day is generally better than one hour every month
  • ask each other, ‘What can I pray for you today?’
  • draw on God’s promises from the Bible and start with thankfulness
  • the closer each of us is individually in our relationship with God, the closer we will be to each other as husband and wife
  • if one of you has upset the other, say sorry and forgive each other before praying

Ask your partner, ‘What can I pray for you today?’

from The Marriage Course

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

The Art of Communication

‘Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.’ Proverbs 18:13(NLT)

We all have a deep longing for emotional connection; it is a fundamental human need. Emotional connection in marriage will only be achieved where there is good communication.

Effective communication

Different levels of communication:

  • Level 1: Passing on information
  • Level 2: Sharing our ideas and opinions
  • Level 3: Being open about our feelings and needs

Level 3 takes vulnerability and requires trust and involves both speaking and listening well.

Good communication is multilayered; it involves:

  • our words
  • our tone of voice
  • our body language

The importance of listening

Our aim in marriage should be to listen twice as much as we talk.

Good listening is one of the most important skills to learn for a strong marriage. Listening has great power to make our husband or wife feel loved and valued.

Hindrances to listening

Five bad listening habits

1. Disengaging

When we have a separate conversation going on in our head or we’re not listening properly because of our physical environment.



2. Reassuring

Not allowing our partner to voice negative emotions.

3. Giving advice

Focusing on solutions rather than empathising with our partner.

4. Going off on a tangent

Taking over the conversation with our own agenda.

5. Interrupting

Failing to let our partner finish what they want to say.

These habits can prevent the speaker from saying what they’re feeling, which may eventually cause them to shut down.

We can all learn the art of effective listening, but it takes time and requires us to be intentional.

Five steps for reflective listening

1. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes

Put your own views to one side and really appreciate what it’s like for your partner to be feeling the way that they do.

2. Acknowledge what they’ve said

When you have listened to what your partner wants to say, reflect back what they have said rather than putting your own opinion or point of view.

3. Find out what is most important

Then ask your husband or wife: ‘What is the most important part of what you have been saying?’

4. Help them work out what they might do

Now ask: ‘Is there anything you would like to do (or, if appropriate, like me or us to do) about what you have said?’

5. Ask if your partner has said all they need to

Don’t assume you already know everything your partner wants to say. If there is more, reflect this back, too. 

from The Marriage Course

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Strengthening Connection

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

Marriage is designed to be the closest possible relationship of increasing intimacy and growing interdependence. But this is not automatic; we have to keep working at our marriage if we’re to stay closely connected. 

Tending a vineyard

Four analogies for tending a marriage:

1. Adjusting

The early years of marriage require a lot of adjustment. 

We can change ourselves; we can’t change our partner.

2. Pruning

As life gets busier, a key skill in marriage is prioritizing our relationship (pruning back certain areas of our lives in order to prioritize another). 

We will only survive as a couple if we learn to prioritize our marriage relationship over every other demand on our time. 

3. Supporting

Marriages need a support network (eg, friends, family, older married couples we learn from).

We may face challenges from illness, infertility, finances, empty nest, elderly parent(s).

Supporting and encouraging our partner is essential.

When we support each other, the very challenges we face can draw us closer together. 

4. Renewing



Being prepared to talk about our own individual needs and desires.

Sharing with our partner our hopes for our future together.



Slowing down for long enough to decide on changes we’d like to make.

Considering if we should stop certain activities in order to have more time together.

Starting something new that will strengthen or restore or renew the connection between us. 

If you’re struggling in your marriage, we want to encourage you that reconnecting is possible. When couples tend their relationship, things can change dramatically and they can go on to experience a new connection and intimacy. 

Make time for each other

Making time for the people that matter most in our lives doesn’t just happen; it requires a conscious decision. If a relationship is to thrive and keep growing, we must have regular quality time together.

Plan a ‘date’ with your partner once a week – spend one to two hours alone together to rekindle romance, have fun and talk together about your feelings (your hopes, fears, worries, excitements).

Nurture each other

Nurturing involves seeking to meet each other’s emotional needs for affection, encouragement, support, comfort, etc.

It’s as though there’s an empty space inside each of us that needs to be filled up with another person’s love and attention

  • when we’re known intimately, when we’re loved by another, we are no longer alone; the space inside is filled up

The way to keep filling this space inside is by recognizing and meeting each other’s emotional needs.

from The Marriage Course

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Cultivate Honor in Your Home

‘I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.’ 3 John 1:4(NLT)

‘A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

Your home can be a wonderful laboratory in which to cultivate honor. The tone we set in our homes when we honor our husbands can inspire our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it feels even better to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor away, we get it back.

Deep inside, we’re all more vulnerable when honor is lacking, and we know it. When honor is gone, so is our shield against danger and shame. We all desire to be known, to be accepted by others. Sometimes we try to fulfill those longings by striving for fame or popularity. But there really is no substitute for honor.

Cultivating a home where honor is present and faith can flourish is a key way to respect your husband. This really hit home for me when David said that our kids’ choice to walk with the Lord was the greatest honor in his life (see 3 John v. 4).

The kind of culture we create in our homes naturally spills over to the culture around us. But it takes time and intentionality, because when we create a culture of honor, we’re going against the grain of the surrounding culture. That’s why we need God’s help. It takes faith, hard work, and lots of grace.

This leads me to return to the topic of prayer. I believe that when you pray and read the Bible together as a couple, you’re inviting Christ’s presence into your marriage. The Bible teaches that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV). In our case, I like to think of those three strands as the Lord, David, and me. Inviting the presence of Jesus into our marriage and our home changes everything.

Creating a culture of honor in our home also involved hard work. Work is a gift from God. We honor him by giving our best effort. By being faithful in the small things. “Whatever you do,” Paul wrote in Colossians 3:23, “work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” rather than for men. 

David and I share the belief that hard work is vastly underrated in today’s world. We talked about the importance of big dreams, but without plenty of hard work, they remain just dreams! So we work hard and have done our best to teach our children to work hard. 

While reflecting on ways to honor my husband, it dawned on me that the simple behaviors that go hand in hand with honor are like God’s “channel markers” for my marriage. By treating David with honor and respect, guarding my thoughts and words, believing the best about him, building him up as the spiritual leader of our home, and staying strong in my own walk with the Lord, I’m protected from hidden dangers and obstacles that could threaten our marriage. 

I believe these very same choices are key to helping you create a culture of honor in your home as well. 

  • Why would honor be more desirable than fame or popularity?
  • One of the Ten Commandments instructs children to obey their parents. What are some long-term benefits children can gain from learning to show honor in the home?
  • What are some ways you can make obedience and hard work attractive to your children?
  • What are some ways that you can help cultivate an atmosphere of honor in your home?

from God’s Advice For Wives

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Dream Big Together

‘For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:10(NLT)

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NLT)

“We grow great by dreams,” said Woodrow Wilson. “All big men are dreamers.” I wonder if the opposite is true. Do men fail to achieve greatness when they stop dreaming? Most dreams aren’t fulfilled without a fight. I find I’m fiercest in my helper role when defending David’s dreams—especially through prayer.

David and I have discovered that our dreams can motivate us and guide us toward God’s purposes for our lives. When we dream together, we grow closer to each other. Our shared dreams, and especially the tests and trials that go along with those dreams, knit us together like comrades in war. 

This was especially true when we were raising our children. We were both passionate about the shared dream of launching our kids to glorify God. It’s no wonder God designed marriage and the family as the best vehicle for propagating the human race.

Let’s go back to Genesis 2:18, our key verse on marriage from the Bible. The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (NIV). It was God himself who said it was “not good” for humans to be alone.

To solve the problem of aloneness for Adam, God didn’t create a club, a classroom, a corporation, social media, a team, or an army. He made a “helper,” a corresponding but equal companion and a rock of support. He also created a lifelong covenant relationship called “marriage” between a man and a woman. Male and female. One flesh. Until death. Together a couple would be capable of creating more humans and nurturing them to adulthood. A chore made easier because they would discover a sacrificial love for each other that was fiercer than the love they felt for themselves.

Perhaps you’re thinking about your own family right now. Or the family you hope to have one day. You and your husband have been uniquely gifted for the family God has given you. The Bible says you are “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). There is nothing like creating a home and family together to inspire big dreams. The point is to find ways you can dream big together.

As much as I believe that individual success is rewarding, seeing a shared dream come true, in my experience, is sublime. 

  • “Dreams can motivate us and guide us toward God’s purposes for our lives.” Can you think of examples when this has been true in your life?
  • What are some of your husband’s dreams? How does Ephesians 2:10 inspire you to show support for those dreams? 
  • How does Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 encourage you to work together with your husband to support each other and your shared dreams?
  • What are some specific prayers you can lift up to God to support your husband’s and children’s dreams?

from God’s Advice For Wives

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Lighten His Load

‘“Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.’ Exodus 20:8-11(NLT)

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

Many marriages today are running on empty. Finding tangible ways to help our husbands guard against overload is a good place to get fierce with our role as helpers. 

Rest is one way to help our husbands (and all of us, for that matter) be their best. Today’s world is busy, noisy, and draining. We need to lighten up and enjoy our marriages, not just endure them.

Just how tired are you? And how tired is your husband? Do you ever take a vacation? And are you getting enough sleep? 

Did you know that sleep deprivation makes us more prone to accidents, weight gain, diabetes, and even heart disease? Researchers tell us that people now fantasize about sleep more than sex. It would seem that the average person today is very, very tired.

But it’s hard to help my husband rest if I’m exhausted myself. I’ve had to ask myself how effective I am at finding rest for my own soul. I can’t give away what I don’t have.

Even the ways we try to rest don’t really rest us. Sometimes we drift into addictive or numbing behaviors that deaden our senses rather than rest our souls. Too much social media, work, alcohol, or exercise leads you to work harder, run faster, climb higher, grow richer, get thinner, and accomplish more, but leaves little time for resting your soul.

Do you long to do more than just damage control to manage the swirl of life? We have to get to the root of the problem if we truly want to lighten our load and guard our marriage against exhaustion. I try to help David read his emotional and physical energy gauges, and he helps me read mine. I’ve noticed that most of our arguments spring up when we’re both exhausted. 

It’s been said that “fatigue makes cowards of us all.” I believe this applies to marriage as well. When husbands and wives are exhausted and our faith becomes weak, we’re left vulnerable to enemies from within and without.

Don’t you wish we had a warning system that would alert us when we begin to drift into patterns of living that are dangerous to our soul? Overload is that signal. Be alert to it and ready to lighten the load.

  • Remember that rest is a command (Exodus 20:8-11). Ask your husband: What helps you slow down and rest? (Even simple answers—like “a nap”—are fine!) 
  • Do you have a weekly day of rest? How can you create a day of rest together? 
  • Consider the promise found in Matthew 6:33. How could trusting in this promise and cultivating contentment honor your husband and lighten his load?
  • What are some things you and your husband could do to lighten up, enjoy your marriage, and find real rest for your souls?

from God’s Advice For Wives

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Guard Your Home

‘Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.’ Philippians 4:6-7(NLT)

‘Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.’ 1 Peter 5:7(NLT)

One of the most practical ways I’ve learned to support David is simply through the environment I create in our home. Our surroundings, daily routine, and even our health habits will either build him up or weigh him down. 

Even more than the physical surroundings of our home, I’m mindful of what happens here. How do we treat each other? What are our conversations about? How hectic is our schedule? What kinds of movies do we watch? When do we find time to connect? You get the point.

So what does it mean to guard your home? What exactly do we guard against? Enemies from within and without attack our families. And since these enemies often fly under the radar, we need to be more discerning, more watchful, and wiser than ever. Peaceful homes nourish your soul and renew your energy. But if I want a peaceful home, I have to guard against those enemies. 

Peace is not passive. To have peace in our home, I have to work for it and make it a priority. I’ve noticed that the quickest way to rob the peace in our home is through worry. Anxiety can drain our family’s energy and quench its calm faster than just about anything. On the other hand, when I refuse to be anxious, when I trust God and remain peaceful, I help create a climate of peace.

I’ve learned to be ruthless with worry because it’s the enemy of peace. And through God’s grace, lots of prayer, and David’s encouragement, I have wrestled most of my fears to the ground. I’m not completely worry-free, but I can tell you that I no longer feel imprisoned by fear.

There are some who suffer a more extreme version of anxiety—perhaps even full-fledged panic attacks. I’ve seen friends and extended family members caught in its grip. Sometimes the battle is too fierce to wage alone, and a good Christian counselor can help you take steps to get at the root of the anxiety.

The twin invaders, fear and anxiety, can wreak havoc on a home and a marriage. God doesn’t treat fear and worry as small things. He tells you to “cast all your anxiety on him” because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7 NIV). As with any stubborn problem, the first step is to confront anxiety head-on and call it out for the enemy that it is.

  • What kind of environment do you want to create in your home? What types of things can you do in your home to show support for your husband?
  • What kinds of “intruders” can threaten the peace in your home? How can you apply the wisdom of Philippians 4:6-7 to bring peace to your heart and your home life?
  • Would your husband say you worry too much? In what ways could you communicate your trust in him? 
  • What fears or anxieties are you battling right now? How does 1 Peter 5:7 encourage you today?

from God’s Advice For Wives

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Be a Warrior

‘Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.’ Ephesians 6:11-17(NLT)

‘Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. ‘ 1 Peter 5:8(NLT)

You may be wondering why I am talking about having a warrior mentality in a study on marriage. It’s because I believe we’re at war. Marriages today are falling apart at an alarming rate. Some experts now say that as many as two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by wives. 

It’s time we take seriously our job to keep watch over our marriages and our families. And it’s time to stay strong in our faith. Just the other day, I heard about four more broken marriages in my circle of acquaintances. Sadly, the list of casualties keeps growing.

Let’s remember that we’re emphasizing honor—something we find in short supply these days. I’ve discovered that honoring my husband in today’s culture requires something of a fight. It should sober us to realize we have enemies. Not just enemies of our soul, but also of our marriage. 

We wage war on several fronts. Some of our fights are against our own selfish nature, our “flesh.” Honoring our husbands can sometimes go against the grain of our flesh. So our battle for a strong marriage is a battle against our own selfish tendencies, such as self-centeredness, pride, disrespect, laziness, and impatience.

We also find ourselves up against a world that degrades and disrespects marriage. God calls us to resist the world’s wrong messages about marriage and even about men—including the generally disrespectful treatment of men in the popular media.

Finally, we wrestle against the spiritual forces of darkness who would seek to divide our home. The devil is an accuser and a divider who’d love nothing more than to break up our marriages. The Bible tells us he “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 NIV). 

Quite simply, the enemy wants your mind and your marriage. Another version of the same verse warns us to “Stay alert!” and “watch out for your great enemy, the devil” (1 Peter 5:8 NLT). We’re to remain ready and prepared to fight.

This reality is a call to prayer. If you were to ask me what’s the single most important thing you can do to strengthen your marriage and to honor your husband, I would simply say this: Pray for him. Pray like you mean it. Pray like you believe prayer works. Pray like you believe God works through your prayers. And make prayer for your husband a priority.

  • Part of being your husband’s helper is having a warrior mentality that desires to protect your marriage. What are some of the “enemies” that threaten to tear down your marriage?
  • What weapons do we have to defend ourselves and our marriages?
  • The single most important thing you can do to strengthen your marriage and honor your husband is to pray for him. How does your husband need your prayers today?
  • What are some ways you can be more intentional about praying for your husband? Commit to one or two of those ideas and make them a daily practice—starting today.

from God’s Advice For Wives