Marriage Devotional

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ‘ Ephesians 5:22-32(NLT)

‘are we being questioned today because we’ve done a good deed for a crippled man? Do you want to know how he was healed? Let me clearly state to all of you and to all the people of Israel that he was healed by the powerful name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, the man you crucified but whom God raised from the dead. For Jesus is the one referred to in the Scriptures, where it says, ‘The stone that you builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.’ There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved.”’ Acts of the Apostles 4:9-12(NLT)

‘And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.
Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love
What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? ‘ Romans 8:26-31(NLT)

Yesterday we talked about the husband being the leader of the home. Today we will conclude with talking about the most critical role of the husband: modeling Christ.  

In Ephesians 5:25 it says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

This means that as husbands, we are to put our wives before ourselves in everything. And just how did Christ love the church? He died for it. He laid down his physical life for the church. It can be easy to serve your wife for a short period or when you have something to gain, but Jesus loved the church sacrificially. He demonstrated His love for His church every day.

In the same way, husbands are to model Christ and plant the seeds of God’s Word in her heart every single day. As we talked about on Day 1 of our study, the role of the husband is to “till and cultivate the soil.” While most of us aren’t actual farmers, we are called to till and cultivate the soil of our wives’ hearts. Husbands, this is a high calling.  

As they say, you can’t give away that which you do not already possess. For you to model Christ to your wife, this means that you must be seeking Christ daily to follow his example and learning through His Word. If you aren’t doing that regularly, now is a great time to change that. When men model Christ for their wives, the family wins. 

Thanks for joining us on this journey as we learn about what God’s Word says about the role of a husband. For further resources on this topic and more, check out our other Bible studies on YouVersion and visit our website at www.uncommen.org.

UNCOMMEN Reflection: How can you sacrificially love your wife today? How did Christ love those closest to him?

Bible References:

Ephesians 5:22-32

Acts 4:9-12

Romans 8:26-31

from Uncommen: Husbands Defined

Leaders in the Church
‘This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be a church leader, he desires an honorable position.” So a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? A church leader must not be a new believer, because he might become proud, and the devil would cause him to fall. Also, people outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not be disgraced and fall into the devil’s trap. In the same way, deacons must be well respected and have integrity. They must not be heavy drinkers or dishonest with money. They must be committed to the mystery of the faith now revealed and must live with a clear conscience. Before they are appointed as deacons, let them be closely examined. If they pass the test, then let them serve as deacons. In the same way, their wives must be respected and must not slander others. They must exercise self-control and be faithful in everything they do. A deacon must be faithful to his wife, and he must manage his children and household well. Those who do well as deacons will be rewarded with respect from others and will have increased confidence in their faith in Christ Jesus.
The Truths of Our Faith
I am writing these things to you now, even though I hope to be with you soon, so that if I am delayed, you will know how people must conduct themselves in the household of God. This is the church of the living God, which is the pillar and foundation of the truth. Without question, this is the great mystery of our faith : Christ was revealed in a human body and vindicated by the Spirit. He was seen by angels and announced to the nations. He was believed in throughout the world and taken to heaven in glory.’ 1 Timothy 3:1-16(NLT)

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.’ Ephesians 5:21-24(NLT)

Once upon a time, a group of soldiers became lost in the Alps. They were hungry and disoriented. They argued about which way to go, but in the fading light, every peak looked the same. The soldiers had no chance of surviving the night in the freezing temperatures. One of them found a map sewn into the lining of his kitbag. He plotted a route and marched them briskly back to base. Later, when they were warm and well fed, the soldier looked closer at his map. It actually was of the Pyrenees—hundreds of miles away. It’s like the old saying “when you’re lost, any old map will do.”

Leadership entails vision. Otherwise, where are you leading people to? If you don’t know where you want to go to—and if you can’t communicate that direction effectively—then you have no right to ask people to join you on the journey. And the same thing goes for being the leader of a family.  

The role of the husband in the Bible begins with leadership. A husband’s role defined is to lead, and leadership is defined by his influence. According to Timothy 1:3, a husband is to have a healthy control of his life and his home. Husband’s are not to rule like a dictator over their wives and children; instead, they should lead by influence and by example. They should exemplify, with their voice and their actions, attributes that bring glory to God and value to their spouse and family. The fruit of a good biblically-based husband is a strong, confident, spiritually mature wife and family. A good husband helps bring leadership and vision to the home.  

UNCOMMEN Reflection: Write down the purpose for your family. How are you leading your family to that purpose? What steps can you practically take to lead your family to that goal this week? Call a family meeting and talk about it.

Bible References:

1 Timothy 3

Ephesians 5:21-24

from Uncommen: Husbands Defined

‘But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.’ 1 Timothy 5:8(NLT)

‘Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.’ Colossians 3:19(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

The primary role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership, but also entails provision and protection.

A husband can demand, and she may follow as a result, but he will never truly have her heart unless he provides for her needs, cares for her well-being, and protects her both physically and spiritually. A husband will never influence his wife if he does not care for her.

Be reminded that we are all God’s children. When you committed to your wife, you were also committing to God to provide for His daughter and the children you would have together to the best of your abilities.

I remember when I spoke to my soon-to-be father-in-law to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. My father-in-law is a successful salesman and had worked hard from his humble beginnings to provide a very nice quality of life for his family. While he was very encouraging and offered his blessing, I’m sure he was wondering in the back of his mind how I was going to provide for his daughter on my ministry salary at the time. Would I be able to protect and provide for his daughter as well as he could?

Be reminded men, when God gives one of His daughters to a man, He desires that the man cares for her. In no place does Scripture teach or endorse that women and children be considered second rate to men. Instead, He finds them so precious that He asks for special care to be given to them; a consideration that only biblically-based men can provide. Women are very capable of taking care of themselves. However, God did make men and women different and thus due to the physical nature and strength God gave men, He has charged them with the provision and protection of their families. That doesn’t mean a man is required to do this alone. But it does mean he holds the high responsibility to make sure his family is provided for to the best of his ability.

Bible References:  

1 Timothy 5:8

Colossians 3:19

1 Peter 3:7

from Uncommen: Husbands Defined

‘He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:20-24(NLT)

‘But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:2-5(NLT)

The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of love, respect, and support. They are to help each other. A husband’s role is one of companionship.

We first hear about this concept in the creation of Eve. Adam needed a companion, a suitable helper, yet one could not be found until God created Eve. As you read for today’s devotional, Genesis 2:20-24 is the story of God creating woman from man’s own rib.

Men and women were designed to be side by side in the marriage relationship. They compliment each other in amazing ways. Despite what popular culture might try to tell us today, God created men and women with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually, where the person is weak, the other is strong. So, husbands and wives can help each other by meeting the other person’s needs through physical and emotional intimacy. Because both men and woman have their individual differences, God’s glory can be shown most when working together within God’s grace.

Lastly, through their companionship, a husband and wife can work together as a team to nurture and grow healthy families. God planned for every home to operate under the specific roles of both a husband and a wife. Through this, they raise healthy children who honor God with their lives. What an awesome privilege and responsibility!

UNCOMMEN Reflection: How can you be a better companion to your wife today? In what ways can your wife be a better companion to you? Write these down and share them with your wife on your next date night. Be sure to share the ways that you could improve as well. Work together to create a more Godly, healthy and intentional relationship.

Bible References:  

Genesis 2:20-24

1 Corinthians 7:2-5

from Uncommen: Husbands Defined

‘So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:21-25(NLT)

‘But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. ‘ 1 Corinthians 11:3(NLT)

When we use the word husband, some connotations may come to mind. If you look at popular culture and entertainment, the husband on most sitcoms is an idiot, incompetent and emotionally immature. It’s feeding into a more significant cultural narrative to attack men’s leadership in the home.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, husband is defined simply as “a male partner in a marriage.”   

The word comes from the Old Norse word húsbóndi, “master of a house,” from hús “house” + bóndi, “occupier and tiller of the soil.” The original sense of the verb was “till or cultivate.” This shows us two concepts about husbands. First, he is the master of the house. Second, he occupies and tills or cultivates the soil. This has significant meaning when looking at the Bible definition of a husband.

The earliest reference we have according to the Bible is in Genesis 2:21-25. That text is when God made a woman from Adam’s rib. This is the first reference to husband and wife being from one flesh. Simply put, a husband is a man who is tasked with the roles of being a provider, Spiritual leader, and head of his household for his wife. He uses the example and inspiration of Jesus Christ to place the needs of his wife above his own in providing for her physical, emotional and Spiritual needs. In doing so, he glorifies God and is a living example of Jesus Christ in the home.

UNCOMMEN Reflection: How are husbands often portrayed in popular culture? What kind of husband was your father? How can you learn from his example; what to do and what not to do? What kind of husband do you want to be?

Bible References:  

Genesis 2:21-25

1 Corinthians 11:3

from Uncommen: Husbands Defined

‘He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:20-24 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/GEN.2.20-24

‘But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/1CO.7.2-5

The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of love, respect, and support. They are to help each other. A husband’s role is one of companionship.

We first hear about this concept in the creation of Eve. Adam needed a companion, a suitable helper, yet one could not be found until God created Eve. As you read for today’s devotional, Genesis 2:20-24 is the story of God creating woman from man’s own rib.

Men and women were designed to be side by side in the marriage relationship. They compliment each other in amazing ways. Despite what popular culture might try to tell us today, God created men and women with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually, where the person is weak, the other is strong. So, husbands and wives can help each other by meeting the other person’s needs through physical and emotional intimacy. Because both men and woman have their individual differences, God’s glory can be shown most when working together within God’s grace.

Lastly, through their companionship, a husband and wife can work together as a team to nurture and grow healthy families. God planned for every home to operate under the specific roles of both a husband and a wife. Through this, they raise healthy children who honor God with their lives. What an awesome privilege and responsibility!

UNCOMMEN Reflection: How can you be a better companion to your wife today? In what ways can your wife be a better companion to you? Write these down and share them with your wife on your next date night. Be sure to share the ways that you could improve as well. Work together to create a more Godly, healthy and intentional relationship.

Bible References:  

Genesis 2:20-24

1 Corinthians 7:2-5