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1st Marriage Saving Marriage ZZ

Always And Never

‘Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:7-8(NLT)

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the garden with her than inside it without her. — Mark Twain, The Diaries of Adam and Eve

There are very few permanent things in this temporal world. Love can be one of those when experienced God’s way. In the context of marriage, an abstract idea becomes a concrete, visible way to spend two lives.

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:7-8a)

Always, always, always, always, never. These are absolute terms that tell us love has a very clear, set definition.

I want to start with the never: Love never fails. The Greek words translated as “fails” are ec pipto. Ec means “from” and pipto means “to fall.” So when you put them together, it means “to fall from, to fall away, to fall apart.” Ec pipto: Love never falls away.

Ec pipto is used in Acts when Peter is thrown in prison. He’s locked up in chains, sleeping, when an angel of the Lord comes. The angel kicked him and woke him up, and when Peter stood the chains fell away (12:7). They were separated from him.

Again in Acts, Paul’s ship is near destruction. To prevent this, the soldiers on board cut the cords holding the safety boats, and they fell away from the ship (Acts 27:32). That’s our term—fell away.

So when two individuals get married and become one, but then become two again, they fall away. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul is saying this never happens in true love.

When Jesus was questioned about the permanence of marriage and the permission to divorce, He answered, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:8b-9).

One plus one equals one—only God can do that. Jesus is crystal clear: Marriage is for life. But in our imperfect, broken world, that dream isn’t easy to apply.

One True God, becoming one with another person is way harder than it sounds. Some days it seems easier to quit. Separation, however, isn’t what You desire for us. So love my marriage through me. Unify it. Make us one. Amen.

from Enduring Marriage by Pete Briscoe

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1st Marriage Saving Marriage ZZ

Really, Until Death?

‘No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.’ Joshua 1:5(NLT)

Their plan had been very simple. To stay together for the rest of their lives. — Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You

The day I married my wife, I made some remarkable promises. She became my lawful wedded wife from that day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and cherish, till death do us part.

Yes, I actually promised to love her until one of us dies.

Since then, I’ve realized that marriage is beautiful and challenging—sometimes maddening. It’s glorious, sweet, hard, comforting, irritating, frustrating, and exhilarating. Yet behind all these ongoing fluctuations of circumstance and emotions, the promises stand. My plan when I married her was to stay married—and that plan is still going strong.

Still… was “till death do us part” really necessary?

Not only was it necessary, but I believe God designed it that way for a reason. See, God knows that true love is experienced in the context of enduring relationship. In fact, this is the type of relationship He offers us. From Deuteronomy to Hebrews, God tells His people, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5).

Not only does He invite us into enduring relationship with Him, but He also extends opportunities for us to experience this type of relationship with one another.

Answer me this: How many deep relationships do you have that have lasted more than half your life? Not many. When God came up with the idea of marriage—and I do believe marriage is God’s idea—He did so because He knows true love is experienced in the context of an enduring relationship. So He put in a no-out clause—“till death do us part”—so we’d stay together.

God’s idea. God’s way. In fact, I believe God’s ideas are always best when they are experienced God’s way.

Lord, thank You for loving without leaving. If I haven’t before, I choose to see marriage as a way to learn the language of Your love, as I experience it myself through a relationship intended to last for all my days on earth. Amen.

from Enduring Marriage by Pete Briscoe

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Draw close to your husband during hard times

‘The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord , do not abandon those who search for you.’ Psalms 9:9-10(NLT)

‘Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10(NLT)

‘Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. ‘ James 4:8(NLT)

‘“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before.’ Matthew 9:16(NLT)

It is easy to feel close to each other when everything is going well but when stress and hardship creep in it is important to recognize that my husband is not the enemy. Often both parties withdraw when they (or one party) carry high stress and lots of pressure. Make time to be together. You remain a team. When you work for an organization or company and the company goes through a hard time, everyone doesn’t start doing their own thing. They pull together and jump in to do whatever is needed to save the day. In marriage, we are a team. When your husband needs your support or your attention, jump in and help wherever you can. You are on his team!

In closing consider the fact that he is God’s gift to you as you are God’s gift to him. Yet he remains the property of God and you have been given stewardship of him by God. He remains first and foremost the Lord’s possession on loan to you for this lifetime only. 

You are an instrument in the Lord’s hand for the Lord’s glory in his life. As you are his first mission field so too is he your first and foremost mission field to the honor and glory and worship of Jesus Christ.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Mac and Naudine are married and serve their local church and a wider network of churches with various family ministries. They love to serve the people of God, with regard to restoring wholeness to families, parents, and marriages. They lead and oversee Evergreen Parenting, an organization that equips mothers and fathers with skills to enjoy a Christ-centred home. 

from How To Protect Your Husband

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Build wisely

‘A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.’ Proverbs 14:1(NLT)

‘A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.’ Proverbs 24:3(NLT)

Proverbs 14:1 says, “a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands”. 

We as women need to build in a godly way, not a selfish, self-centered or materialistic way. I need to build in such a way that my husband knows and sees that I greatly enrich his life. You build a house by wisdom and through understanding, it is established 

 A husband trusts fully when he knows his wife is capable and wise in building their home!

We need to build our husbands up emotionally and use our words carefully. Be a woman who builds and not destroys – whether by your actions, words, attitude or body language. Be a careful woman, not a careless one, a woman with discernment, integrity, thoughtfulness, and patience. 

Think of how Jesus build His kingdom and served those around Him.

from How To Protect Your Husband

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Forgiveness

‘Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ‘ Ephesians 4:23(NLT)

‘Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. ‘ James 5:16(NLT)

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

‘“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. ‘ Luke 6:37(NLT)

We need to be forgiving toward our husbands. If you still remind him of words spoken fifteen years ago that devastated your soul, you most probably haven’t forgiven him. 

Your husband’s heart cannot be safe with you and you cannot protect him if you haven’t forgiven him. You need to be kind and compassionate to him, forgiving him, just as Christ forgave you. 

Forgive his grievances. You cannot protect your husband if you constantly remind him of everything that he has done wrong. Your husband cannot trust you if you keep nit picking at his faults. 

No ‘silent treatment’ or ‘guilt trip’ is justified in any relationship! If your marriage is under strain be the first to turn to Jesus!

from How To Protect Your Husband

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Gentle words

‘When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.’ Proverbs 31:26 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/PRO.31.26

‘A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers.’ Proverbs 20:19(NLT)

Your husband needs to be safe when in your presence. His heart needs to be safe with me. His heart cannot be safe when he cannot trust me or if he is worried I will degrade him. Proverbs 31:26 says that our words need to be encouraging and respectful towards our husbands.

Take a moment to think over the conversations your friends have with you. An elderly lady once shared with me that when I say negative things about my husband to my friends that I am actually committing emotional adultery. That was quite radical but helped me to always weigh how I speak about my husband or how I speak to my friends about their husbands. 

Proverbs 20:19 says, ”gossip betrays confidence, so avoid a person that talks too much”. 

This verse is intended for all relationships but how much more so for a marriage covenant relationship. 

This sacred bond has to be celebrated and protected! Do not fall into the trap of gossiping about your husband. Choose your friends wisely. Choose friends that will honour your marriage and speak respectfully of their own husbands too.

Whenever he does everything right, it is easy to apply Proverbs 31:26. How much more important that we still apply the principle of this scripture when he falters. 

My husband needs to know that I am on his side. When you want to use harsh words, take a moment and think of everything he actually does right. I remind myself that harsh words speak of a hardened heart. We need to speak kind words to our husbands if we want to protect him. 

Take stock of that which is in your heart because we shower our husbands with the overflow of our hearts.

from How To Protect Your Husband

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Connection

‘The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.’ 1 Corinthians 7:3-4(NLT)

‘Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Proverbs 31:11-12(NLT)

There was a time in our marriage where we worked too hard, we saw very little of each other and a disconnect happened between us. It was a time where everything else and everyone else became more important. When there is a disconnect, it is a good time to evaluate where you are at and time to seek the Lord. When there is a disconnect, we become irritated with each other and desperately need to reinstate God’s ways as our ways. We cannot only pray that we will be connected again, we have to be humble enough to go to our husbands and acknowledge where we have neglected him. 

I think a way to protect our husband’s heart is to not withhold yourself. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 is a good standard to uphold as a necessary boundary of protection. 

Scriptures like these are great reminder during times you feel tempted to withhold your body from your spouse.

from How To Protect Your Husband

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Devotion for Women ZZ

God first

‘Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Proverbs 31:11-12(NLT)

‘“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. ‘ Deuteronomy 6:4(NLT)

Mac and I were once on our way to a camping holiday. I became nervous as we went down a mountain pass, towing a heavy camping ‘bushwacker’. Instead of getting irritated with me, my husband, realizing that I was worried about the trailer we were pulling, immediately slowed down a little bit. Our son asked why he was doing that, I was being silly, I should know my husband is a good and responsible driver. Mac responded by explaining to him that marriage is like a team sport. In order for me to honour and submit well, he needs to love me well. In that moment, he explained that to love me is to be considerate and allow me to gain confidence as we tow the trailer.

Marriage is a team sport. We all start marriage with ‘till death do us part’. When you are young and you say these words, you may not quite understand the weight and the depth of them. Proverbs 31:11 tells us what this means for a wife, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life”. When I read this scripture I soberly ponder whether my husband experiences the fulfilment of this verse in our marriage.

In many instances, whenever I observe women, I notice a tendency in them to serve others. They have a compulsion to want to help organize things, helping others through giving advice. I am designed as a helper. I am the one he can lean on, trust and rely on. God designed me as a woman with the ability to submit and respect my husband and to be his very best helper! I carry something of God’s DNA in my being by being the woman He created me to be. I can protect my husband by being what God has called me to be!

If you want to protect your husband, you should consider the following things:

One of the first things that I learned in marriage was to give grace to my husband and not to rely on him for my fulfillment. 

I need to seek the Lord first and find fulfilment in Him in order that my marriage will benefit from this. My husband cannot satisfy my deepest needs and desires, only Jesus can fulfill my deepest needs. 

The best way I can encourage my husband is by building my relationship with God.

from How To Protect Your Husband

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Saving Marriage ZZ

Hypocritical People

‘“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ Matthew 7:3-5(NLT)

‘Blind guides! You strain your water so you won’t accidentally swallow a gnat, but you swallow a camel! “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.’ Matthew 23:24-26(NLT)

‘You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.’ Matthew 15:7-8(NLT)

‘Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. ‘ Galatians 6:1-2(NLT)

‘If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. ‘ 1 Corinthians 10:12(NLT)

‘Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.’ Psalms 51:10-12(NLT)

‘“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.’ Matthew 18:15-17(NLT)

The problem with having a problem with hypocritical people is that it’s hypocritical. Think about it. Jesus said for us not to pick out a speck in someone else’s eye when we have a log in our own. Not to mention—pointing out the sawdust in your friend’s eye is a good way to end up with an entire two-by-four in your own.

The word “hypocrite” comes from a Greek word, hupokrites, which was used to describe stage actors and performers who wore masks. Sounds about right, doesn’t it?

So how do we combat hypocrisy without putting on a show?

Confronting hypocrisy starts by stepping off the stage, taking off the mask, and looking ourselves in the eye. We can’t very well help others with their hypocrisy until we deal with our own. Jesus had pretty harsh words for religious hypocrites who pointed out the sins of others all while covering their own. 

How do we confront our own hypocrisy? It starts with confession. Admit your mistakes. If you don’t know what they are, ask someone who knows you well. Then confess to God and people you love. When we confess to God, we receive forgiveness. When we confess to others, God uses our relationships to bring healing. Remember the power of relationships?

How do we confront hypocrisy in others? We confront in person first, with grace, humility, and awareness of our own shortcomings. Pastor Craig Groeschel often says we don’t confront with the goal of being right; we confront with the goal of helping others to be right with God. Finally, we confront with prayer, knowing how easily pride could put us into the same situation we’re confronting. 

Hypocritical people, overly needy people, critical people, and controlling people are so rarely just other people. When we see our own brokenness and realize we’re those people too, we can give Jesus His rightful place as Savior, and God can unleash His wonder-working power in and through our relationships. Because relationships are so often the ingredients and the recipients of God’s healing power in our world. 

What now? Start somewhere. You can’t fix every problem in every relationship. Actually, you can’t fix any of it; that’s God’s part. Just pick somewhere to start. Will you start with controlling relationships, critical relationships, needy relationships, or hypocritical relationships? Who will you start with? What do you need to confess? Start somewhere and let God begin to transform you, your relationships, and as a result, your world. 

Pray: God please show me where to start. Show me the broken places. Give me the strength to focus and the humility to receive Your healing work in my life. Amen. 

from Relational Vampires

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Saving Marriage ZZ

Needy Relationships

‘But as for me, I am poor and needy; please hurry to my aid, O God. You are my helper and my savior; O Lord , do not delay.’ Psalms 70:5(NLT)

‘Peter and John went to the Temple one afternoon to take part in the three o’clock prayer service. As they approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money. Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, “Look at us!” The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money. But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!” Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man’s feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened. He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them. All the people saw him walking and heard him praising God. When they realized he was the lame beggar they had seen so often at the Beautiful Gate, they were absolutely astounded! ‘ Acts of the Apostles 3:1-10(NLT)

‘Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:1-10(NLT)

Remember how this Bible Plan started? We talked about how relationships are the recipients and the ingredients of some of God’s most amazing work. So what’s wrong in the recipe when needy relationships happen?

When David wrote Psalm 70:5 (quoting from the NIV here), he gave us a clue:

But as for me, I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; Lord, do not delay. 

The problem with needy human relationships is that there is only one Deliverer, and He is not you. When relationships require us to act like a savior, then we’re taking a space only Jesus can fill. 

Even Jesus didn’t meet every need while He was here on Earth. Scripture records a few times when He was needed, yet He’d gone away to pray or rest. 

Let’s look at our relationships again. Who’s acting as Deliverer and Savior? Is it God and Jesus? Is it you? Is it your spouse, a friend, a pastor? 

Here’s the thing—God does use trusting relationships to meet needs and bring restoration. In fact, they’re probably the main way He heals the world. We just have to remember it’s God who’s doing the restoring, and He’s restoring both halves of the relationship. At Life.Church, we have a similar mission principle that’s really easy to remember: We’re all broken in some way.

Whether we lack material resources, meaningful relationships, purpose, or hope in Christ, we all experience neediness. As we reach out to others hoping to mend brokenness, we know we bring our own brokenness into the mix. While we may be one ingredient of someone’s restoration, it’s God who holds the full recipe. 

Whether we’re always trying to save or be saved by others, we’re all still needy and broken. What Jesus-sized needs are you trying to fill within others?

Pray: God, You’re my deliverer. Jesus, You’re my savior. Forgive me for trying to save or be saved by anyone less than You. Please show me the ways I’ve tried to get my needs met outside of You. Please fill and heal those broken places. Amen.  

from Relational Vampires