Marriage Devotional

‘One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.’ Mark 10:13-16(NLT)

Each summer our family takes several days and serves at a home for adults with mental disabilities. The days are filled with lots of hard work. Mostly chores and handyman projects, whatever is needed. We enjoy serving together and over the years have become friends with many of the residents.

Mealtime is always a blast. It’s filled with conversation, laughter, and good food. Often the residents will share stories. They usually relate humorous or exciting situations in which they have found themselves. We love hearing the stories about their lives and experiences.

One resident told us about a time when a group of them went to a large supercenter store to pick up some personal care items. As several of them stood in the checkout line, another customer loudly made some demeaning and vulgar comments toward the group. They were stunned and didn’t know what to do.

The store manager had heard the comments, and in the blink of an eye he stepped up and confronted the abusive customer. He simply asked him to leave and not return. At this point in the story all of the residents cheered. To this day, the manager is their hero.

As a dad, there will be times when you need to step up and defend someone, maybe even your own son. It’s important you are already a praying dad prior to this, or you’ll be tempted to overreact.

Jesus went against the prevailing mindset of His day. He rejected the idea that children were not to be seen or heard from. He welcomed them and when the adults scolded the kids, Jesus was indignant and defended them.

Are you prepared to step up and sensibly defend your son? Is he in a situation now where you’d be wise to step in and provide some cover? Do you need to get in between him and danger?

PRAY you will be aware of situations where you need to defend your son.

PRAY you’ll do this in a mature, wise, God-honoring manner.

from Becoming A Praying Father

‘You yourselves are our witnesses—and so is God—that we were devout and honest and faultless toward all of you believers. And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory.’ 1 Thessalonians 2:10-12(NLT)

Do as I say, not as I do.

You’d be hard-pressed to find another statement that brings more discouragement and confusion to your son than this one. Although this phrase rolls off the tongue and is easy to remember, it’s an unbiblical motto for pride and failure.

Imagine a son getting scolded for his vulgar language by a father using the exact same words during the scolding. How would a young boy feel while being reprimanded by dad for lying, when he learned how to lie from that same man? How confusing is it when the father who brags about padding his monthly expense reimbursement rebukes a teenage young man for cheating on a math test?

Edgar Guest writes, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day: I’d rather one would walk with me than merely tell the way.” Our actions speak louder than our words. Your sons learn more from you by observation than by lecture. They may misunderstand some of your advice, but they perfectly comprehend your actions.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:10-12 the Apostle Paul reminds us that fathers are to deal with their children by encouraging and comforting. This is nothing new to us dads. But he goes on to say, “…urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His Kingdom and glory.”

What’s the best way to help our sons live a worthy life? By showing the way in our own life and by modeling our actions after those of Jesus. So, dad, are you showing your son the ways of God through your actions?

PRAY you’ll live a life that shows your son how to live worthy of God.

PRAY you and your son will help each other live lives that are more than words, lives filled with God-honoring actions. 

from Becoming A Praying Father

‘To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’ “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’ “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.’ Luke 15:11-24(NLT)

Imagine your phone ringing in the middle of the night waking you out of a deep sleep. Your heart races as you answer. A police officer says your teenage son has been involved in a serious automobile accident, and he would like you at the scene immediately.

You’re sure they have the wrong boy. Your son went to his room hours ago. He’s fast asleep.

You quickly check his bed. He’s not there. With your heart in your throat, you race to the garage. One of your cars is missing.

Putting the pieces together, you assume he snuck out of the house and “borrowed” your car without permission.

As you arrive at the scene, the lights, sounds, and personnel rushing around overwhelm you. You catch a glimpse of your son just as they are extracting him from the demolished remains of your car. You rush over to him, relieved to find him alive.

What are your very next thoughts?

• Are you angry because your son took the car without asking and then totaled it?
• Are you upset with him for deceptively sneaking out of the house?
• Do you want to embrace him and reassure him that it’ll be OK?

When faced with a dire situation like this, most dads would instantly forget about the car and focus on their son’s well-being. They’d quickly forgive and be more concerned about his injuries than the discipline they will administer later.

Being a dad ensures we’ll have many opportunities to forgive our children. At times it can be hard to do. But we have to remember that our Heavenly Father forgives us all the time. And if we want to be more like Him, we need to do the same – in big and small situations.

PRAY you can forgive your son as God has already forgiven you.

PRAY for proper perspective when you need to forgive.

from Becoming A Praying Father

‘One day when the crowds were being baptized, Jesus himself was baptized. As he was praying, the heavens opened, and the Holy Spirit, in bodily form, descended on him like a dove. And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy. ”’ Luke 3:21-22(NLT)

Today’s scripture is full of meaning. Not only is it the first reference we have of Jesus praying, but it’s a front-row seat to an intimate moment between Jesus and His Heavenly Father. Jesus had come to the Jordan River to be baptized by His cousin – John the Baptist.

After Jesus was baptized, the heavens opened and the Holy Spirit descended on Him. It looked like a dove. Then God spoke three key phrases that are packed with meaning:

• This is my Son… Many people doubted who Jesus really was. Growing up, Jesus may, Himself, have wondered who He really was. But God made sure that everyone, including Jesus, knew that He was a part of God’s family!
• …who I love… If there had been any doubt in Jesus’ mind before, this erased it all. Jesus was loved by His Heavenly Father!
• …with whom I am well pleased. God was affirming to Jesus that He was doing the right thing.

How often does your son long to hear these three phrases from your mouth? Does your son know you are glad that he is a part of your family? Does he know you love him? Does he know you are proud of him?

God gives us a great template for speaking into the heart of our children. They long for a sense of belonging. They desire to know we love them. They need to know we are proud of them.

One of the fondest memories I have of my father occurred just a few hours before he died. Knowing the end was near, he gathered our family together to share his last words with each of us. When he came to me, he said, “Michael, you have done well.”

I couldn’t help but think of today’s scripture and the power those words had on Jesus. The same is true for our sons (and daughters)!

PRAY to thank God your son is a part of your family. Be specific!

PRAY an expression of love that you have for your son.

PRAY you will have an opportunity to show your son you are proud of him.

Don’t stop there: go and tell your son that he belongs, is loved, and that you are proud of him!

from Becoming A Praying Father

‘There once was a man named Job who lived in the land of Uz. He was blameless—a man of complete integrity. He feared God and stayed away from evil. He had seven sons and three daughters. He owned 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 teams of oxen, and 500 female donkeys. He also had many servants. He was, in fact, the richest person in that entire area. Job’s sons would take turns preparing feasts in their homes, and they would also invite their three sisters to celebrate with them. When these celebrations ended—sometimes after several days—Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, “Perhaps my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular practice.’ Job 1:1-5(NLT)

I recall a conversation with a soon-to-be-first-time dad. He was anxiously awaiting the big day when his son would arrive. All he wanted was for his wife and baby boy to get through the experience safely. Since my children are a little older, he was looking for some advice, and he asked me a question, “What is the most important thing I can do as a first-time dad?”

My mind raced to all of the traditional answers:

• Love his mom
• Hold down a good job to provide for your family
• Set a good example to him as he grows up
• Establish family traditions your son can carry with him

While all of those are admirable things to do, for some reason I didn’t offer any of them. I simply said, “You need to pray. Pray now. Pray when he is born. Pray for him every day of his life.”

I’m not sure this was the answer he was looking for, but I believe it’s the best one I could have given.

Today we read about a man named Job. He’d acquired a lot of livestock, a brood of kids (7 sons and 3 daughters!), and had followed God while he’d maintained a sparkling reputation to those who knew him. Quite a guy.

As we read Job 1:1-5, two additional things stand out about Job’s life. First, he enjoyed being with his children. His family had a tradition of taking turns holding feasts at each of the sons’ homes. I can only imagine the memories made and stories told around those tables.

Secondly, Job knew his children weren’t perfect. So we see Job in verse 5 offering sacrifices early in the morning and praying for the sins of his children. He did this regularly. It’s a good idea to follow Job’s example.

PRAY you will develop a relationship with your children so strong that when they are adults you’ll both enjoying being with each other.

PRAY for your children’s failures, shortcomings, and sins each day. 

from Becoming A Praying Father

‘My child, don’t reject the Lord ’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.’ Proverbs 3:11-15(NLT)

Recently our 17-year-old daughter was driving and ran into our neighbor’s mailbox. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the damage to both the car and mailbox was minimal.

When I asked her what happened, she admitted to reaching over and picking up her phone. She only took her eyes off the road for a split second, but that was long enough to have an accident.

When my wife and I were teaching her how to drive, we repeatedly warned her about the dangers of distracted driving. But now she began learning that lesson firsthand. Aside from apologizing to the neighbor and limited phone and car privileges for the next week, she also had to pay for the damage to the mailbox and the car.

To my surprise, she handled all of the discipline pretty well. As we were talking about it a few days later, she said something interesting. She said, “You and Mom told me 1,000 times not to use my phone while driving the car. But when I hit that mailbox, I realized how quickly something really bad can happen.”

What just occurred was that she moved from knowing facts to having wisdom. Before the accident, she knew the facts. But now she was able to put that knowledge together with an experience and understand the consequences of her actions. That’s called wisdom.

Proverbs 3:11-15 reminds us that when we are learning discipline from our heavenly or earthly father, it’s because he loves us. And when we learn those lessons through everyday life, we find wisdom and understanding.

PRAY your children see the value of godly wisdom and understanding and they will seek this more than anything else in this world.

PRAY it doesn’t take a small accident – or a big one – for them to learn this.

PRAY you’ll become (continue being…) a father who sets an obvious example of seeking godly wisdom. 

from Becoming A Praying Father

‘Children are a gift from the Lord ; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.’ Psalms 127:3-5(NLT)

“Dad, do you love me?”
“Yes, I do,” you answer.
“How much do you love me?” he presses.
“More than anything in this world.”
“How much is that?” You take a deep breath, “I would do anything for you. If you were in trouble – I’d help. If your life was in danger, I’d do anything I could to save you.”
“Would you jump in front of a speeding truck to save my life?”
“You bet I would! I love you that much!”
After thinking, the child responds, “I love you too, Dad.”

As awkward as this conversation is, it reveals one important truth: every child wants to know they are loved. They want to know they matter more than anything in this world. And, yes, they want to know if they are loved enough by you, their dad, to risk your life for them. Psalm 127:3 reminds us that we are to value, treasure, and love our children.

Psalm 127:4 shows us that not only do our children need to be loved, they need to be aimed. Solomon writes that our children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior. Arrows are only valuable if they are aimed in the right direction. Aiming is the job of the warrior. It’s not the arrow’s job. So, warrior (dad!), how are you doing at aiming your son in the right direction?

Solomon goes on to say in verse 5 that there is a way that we can know if we are aiming our children in the right direction. He describes a scene where children are old enough to contend with an enemy and are not put to shame. One of the hardest aspects of being a parent is not knowing if what we are doing right now is the right thing. Often we won’t know for sure until our children are old enough to make decisions on their own.

PRAY that each of your children know how valuable they are to God, to you, and to their whole family.

PRAY you will be able to aim them in the right direction – toward a relationship with their Heavenly Father.

PRAY your sons will mature into young men who are able to defend their faith, and that your daughters become godly women who honor the Lord.

from Becoming A Praying Father