Marriage Devotional

‘“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ‘ Matthew 6:25(NLT)

The biblical truth conscious Christian family will see money as a servant and not as a lord, so they will not live to get money at any price:

• Many marital mismatches, frictions, and even separations have their roots in the couple’s lack of proper financial planning – Matthew 14:20;
• The Christian family’s financial budget should include expenses with food, clothing, rent (or dividends), expenses with water, electricity, telephone, gas, health (doctor, dentist, pharmacy), education (tuition, books, school supplies), transport and leisure. All of this is necessary. You should also provide some form of savings for any family emergency. But first of all, there is the consecration of tithes and offerings to the Lord (Malachi 3:10) and help to those in need (Matthew 25: 31-46).

Practical suggestions for financial balance in the family:

• Avoid separate accounts. If the husband and wife work outside the home, they must add up their wages and together prioritize. Otherwise, there will be no prosperity;
• Do not use money to try to control family members, or to fill them with gifts in an attempt to make up for their absence;
• Have your own standard of living; do not want to compete with your neighbor, friend or relatives. Be content with what God has given you;
• Beware of unnecessary promotions and purchases. If you have a compulsion toward consumerism, pray about it and seek liberation;
• Be careful with your credit card, as it can easily unbalance your finances. Only buy in installments if you have a good margin of safety that you can pay without compromising your family budget and Christian witness (Psalm 37:21; Romans 13: 8);
• Only become someone’s guarantee if you have the financial conditions and the will to assume that person’s debt, if you cannot fulfill or pay your commitment (Proverbs 11:15; 17:18; 20:16; 22:26; 27: 13);
• Don’t borrow money, except in emergencies;
• Be honest in your business, keep your commitments up to date, pay Caesar (government) what is owed, and God for what His Word commands (Matthew 22:21).

Homework: 

1.  Review together what the family budget is like. Set priorities. Cut some unnecessary expenses. Debt control. Plan how to invest in moments of pleasure. Strive to be faithful to tithing. 

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:7-9(NLT)

‘“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! ‘ Deuteronomy 30:19(NLT)

Today, we will identify that our choices and attitudes always have consequences. Tomorrow we will harvest the seeds we plant today. In our marriage it is the same, so we need to watch and choose carefully the seeds we are planting in our family. One of the points that leads to bad harvests is when we misuse the seed of money. Therefore, I invite you today to reflect on your attitudes and follow some tips on how to organize your seeds so that you can guarantee rich harvests in the future.

It is God who gives man the good seed to sow, but it is up to you to choose where he will sow it. There are three types of seeds:

• Biological seed: represents the sexual life of men and women. We can throw this good seed in the field of fornication, adultery, homosexuality and pornography, or we can throw it in the field of marriage – Hebrews 13:4;
• Financial seed: represents money and wealth. We can sow in the pleasures of the world, only in material goods and heritage, or we can sow in what is eternal, be faithful to the tithe and ask God for protection of our finances – Genesis 26:12-13;
• Seed of the word: it represents everything we speak, that our lips profess. We can sow in the field of lies, or in the field of truth – Proverbs 19:5.

How do we sow in the field of lies or in the field of truth?

• Lies:
  • “Our children are rebellious.”
  • “I don’t do anything right.”
  • “I never had and never will have anything.”
• Truth:
  • “Our children are taught by the Lord and will have an abundant life.”
  • “I can do everything in Christ who strengthens me.”
  • “The Lord will fill my barns and they will overflow. In everything I put my hand on, He will bless me.”

The soil is the heart of man. We are always planting in lives: in ourselves, in our spouse, in our children and in others. We must learn from Him who is the great sower of humanity, and continue sowing seeds of life – Matthew 13:18-23.

The harvest obeys two factors: time and multiplication.

It is important to recognize the good harvests and identify the seeds that produced them, to continue producing new crops. As for undesirable crops, you need to regret it. Repentance works as an herbicide.

Our marriage today is the result of planting and harvesting that we have done over the years. We need to analyze the crops that have been produced, decide what we must do to preserve good crops and eliminate unwanted ones.

Homework:

1. List what you have already sown in your life and marriage, and what the respective harvest was. Do the exercise separately, and then share the list with your spouse: 

a. What was the planting?

b. What am I reaping?

2.  Now, reviewing the previous list and wishing to keep only the good seeds and eliminate the bad ones, make a new list in how your new sowing will be:

a. The new sowing.

b. Harvest expectation.

3.  Together they choose the seed of an edible plant (coriander, basil, parsley, etc.), plant it in a pot, and begin to carefully observe the growth. Feed on the plant and each time you savor it, think about whether what you are sowing in life is giving the same pleasure to your spouse and to the other people around you.

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ‘ Genesis 2:18(NLT)

How do we glorify God in our home regarding obedience, submission, and honor?

Husband:

• LEADING: The responsibility to lead lies with him; Leading with love brings stability and firmness in adverse circumstances; being the leader, he must respect the authority that he himself bestows on his wife; must resist the enemy and not the family, receiving advice and wisdom from the wife – I Corinthians 11:3;
• PROVIDING: not only the material needs of the family, but everything that concerns life in the Kingdom of God, as the primary source of teaching the Gospel to their domestic flock – I Timothy 5:8;
• PROTECTING AND CALMING: being sensitive to your needs: spirit, soul and body; consoling her through the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, being empathetic and understanding, protecting her from feeling abandoned. Loving his wife not only with words but also with attitudes – I Peter 3:7;
• BEING A PRIEST OF THE HOME, RESPONSIBLE FOR MAINTAINING THE VISION OF GOD: serve your wife with humility and joy; you must forgive, seek reconciliation and restoration; stand firm against sin, correcting with love and encouragement; use words that build the house; pray for all the members of your family – Hebrews 3:13.

Wife:

• HELPING AND SUPPORTING: a vital and not a secondary role, must surround him with support, exhortation and comfort, when supported he is more willing to face challenges, criticism inhibits acting boldly. Respect his authority and honor him, even if his behavior is not the most correct, helping him make decisions – Proverbs 31:10-12;
• MANAGING THE HOME: God empowers women with holiness and the ability to multiply what the husband provides, wisely investing savings to produce even more, seeking the face of God (Word and Prayer) for prosperity – Proverbs 31:13-18;
• CORRESPONDING TO HIS LOVE, BEING A COMPANION: her first ministry is her husband. Maintain a pleasant outward appearance, honor and respect your husband with words, compliments. Deliver the soul and body to your loved one – Song of Solomon 2:16;
• BUILDING YOUR HOME, RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MISSION: caring for your husband and children with joy; forgiving quickly without tracking mistakes; using words to build; have unique talents and gifts that will complement your husband’s; praying intensely for the family – Proverbs 31: 10-31.

Homework:

1. Do you feel comfortable with the flow of authority established by God or does it cause you any discomfort in your marriage? Why?
2. Of the functions that God has given to husband and wife, which ones do you exercise totally, partially or is this new subject for you? Exemplify.
3. Honor goes beyond obedience and submission, this principle is pleasing to God. During that week, create opportunities to honor each other with gestures and attitudes.
4. Research on the theme Languages of Love, based on the book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Now” by Gary Chapman. Try to identify yourself and your spouse in how your soul interprets the different languages of love, knowing the language that best suits your spouse, do something during the week that awakens a high level of satisfaction in your spouse.

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”’ Genesis 1:26(NLT)

On this third day, we will review what God’s guidelines were for the role of men and women in a marriage. What does He expect from each one? What are His standards? And so, I invite you to look inside yourself, judge your own attitudes and behavior and search through different languages of love, get to know yourself and your spouse better, to take the relationship to deeper levels of intimacy, respect and companionship.

God’s original plan for man and woman:

• It is God who establishes authority over our lives – Romans 13:1-2;
• It is up to the husband to be under the authority of Christ and the Church to have authority over his family; only those who are subject to authority have authority – Matthew 8:9;
• It is up to the woman to submit to the authority of her husband as well as to the Lord. Being submissive means being under the same mission – Colossians 3:18.

God’s original plan for man and woman was perverted because of sin:

• She received a capacity of internal perception of God to help her husband, in order to discern the spiritual world and warn it, like a “radar”;
• He received the skills of a “warrior”, a desire to defeat his enemy who, upon approaching, would awaken this quality in him and raise him with authority, certain of the defeat of his enemy;
• Sin caused the “radar” to lose its discernment, the mission, the objective, was left without direction. Sin caused the “warrior” to lose his strength, his faith, his courage, he was left without authority.

Through Jesus, God sets a new standard for the relationship of man and woman, based on Christ (the Bridegroom) and His Church (the Bride). We can understand the functions of each spouse by observing the interaction of Jesus and His Bride:

• Jesus for the church:
• He always made it clear that his strongest relationship was with the Church. I told your parents – Matthew 12:49;
• He left his father and established an alliance with the Church, but remained submissive to the Father – Matthew 26:39;
• In his covenant with the Church, Jesus loved, cared for, fed, and gave his life for her, gave his glory as God to establish a relationship with her – Ephesians 5:25.
• The Church for Jesus:
• Abandons everything to follow him – Luke 14:33;
• Give him unconditional obedience, doing his will as the Holy Spirit directs – Acts 2: 1-12;
• Loves, honors, respects and worships – Matthew 22:37.

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

Over time, the marriage deteriorated more and more:

• In the Old Testament more and more polygamy, multiple concubines, divisions and divorces are reported, men dismiss their women for any reason, this to satisfy their lustful and selfish desires;
• Finally, Moses establishes a law to try to correct this aberration and thus establishes the Letter of Divorce, in possession of this letter, the woman could remarry, as well as her ex-husband, with the consent of the city elders.

The Redemptive Work of Christ:

• Jesus is called the “last Adam” because he came to redeem humanity and restore the relationship with God that Adam had lost – Romans 5:18;
• In this sense, everything related to the original marriage that was lost in the fall was also redeemed by Jesus – The New Blood Covenant;
• In Matthew 19: 3-9, we see that Jesus informs the original pattern of marriage, as God planned:
  • The Pharisees try to confuse him with respect to the Mosaic law, but Jesus does not evoke the law, but uses God’s original plan as a starting point;
  • Explain that the divorce letter was given because of hardened hearts – Ezekiel 11: 19-20, but that separation or divorce was never mentioned in God’s original plan;
  • God makes an exception ONLY when it comes to adultery – I Corinthians 7. Still, through Jesus, He teaches his disciples that forgiveness must overcome everything, and that it must prevail in the case of repentance by the adulterer;
  • Therefore, God hates divorce; separation from a Christian couple is as if a life is divided in half, resulting in death. Divorce should NEVER be an option for a Christian couple.

If both are redeemed in Christ, then they can experience the fullness of the “one flesh” relationship as God planned the marriage:

• Only through Christ can we achieve God’s blessings. He paid a high price to recover what was lost in the Garden of Eden;
• Without Jesus, all our efforts with human methods and techniques are failed attempts to improve our lives and marriages, only He can change our hearts;
• Once redeemed in Christ, we have no reason to live by world standards and be attacked by the same satanic weapons that destroy other marriages around us;
• God places powerful biblical principles at our disposal to rebuild following his original plan;
• Following this pattern, we will fulfill his promises: “The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” – Isaiah 58:11

Homework:

1. Remember the day of your marriage. Look for photos, videos, memories. How was that day they were happy? Are there promises that need to be renewed today? If you feel yes, do not stop doing it.
2. What differences between you generate more conflicts in the relationship? How could you use these differences to favor and not walk away?
3. The life of a flesh needs to be nurtured to reach maturity. For that, we need:

a) Honor our spouse considering their needs above mine.

b) Leave other relationships, considering marriage superior to any relationship on earth.

c) Be transparent and totally open and honest with each other.

Based on that information, how much are you becoming one flesh?

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.’ Malachi 2:14(NLT)

On that first day, I invite you to understand Jesus’ great sacrifice when He shed His blood on the Cross of Calvary. Certainly, the power of His blood has changed our lives. He overcame death. He is risen. He gave us access to the Father. He gave us eternity. A marriage that believes in the power of the blood shed by Jesus is a marriage where Jesus himself is part of the alliance and that union becomes stable, because it is a cord not of two, but of three strands, which is not easy to break.

The first teaching is to understand that when God unites man and woman, He transforms them into one body, one flesh. However, what exactly does this mean?

Only the power of God can transform two people into one:

• When two people decide to marry, they submit to God’s system that provides for a total unity, called marriage;
• To be united by marriage is to become one;
• The only earthly relationship takes place in the Spirit, Soul, and Body.

In this sense, we understand that Body and Soul concentrate through the senses and the mind, the desires and emotions that we feel. Nevertheless, if we live only that in our marriage, we risk following the standards not of Jesus, but of the world, and many times the heart of man can be deceptive. In I John 2:16 we find that “For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.”

Therefore, the most important thing is to connect the Spirit of God, which will bring inspiration, revelation and communion to the couple. Moreover, here we find the strength we lacked, the third strand of the cord.

Without the Spirit, marriage is just a contract between two people:

• They are married, but God does not live in either spouse;
• So He is only a witness and not an active party;
• Over time, the conditions imposed and expected in the contract may change, tolerance will decrease, dedication will no longer be the same, the Soul and the Body alone cannot bear deep crises.

 Example of the first couple in human history: Adam and Eve: Genesis 3:1-12

• Satan, impersonating a snake, plays a word game with Eve, who is deceived, eats the fruit of the “tree of the knowledge of good and evil”, and then gives it to her husband;
• Both sought to satisfy their flesh (Soul and Body), ignoring what God had directed (Spirit);
• When God asked them, they tried to justify themselves for their sin, without acknowledging their guilt: couples today still do it, wanting to justify their behavior instead of repenting, asking for forgiveness and falling at the feet of the Lord;
• They hid from God and were afraid due to disobedience: even today couples do not understand that God must be the center and the base of their marriage;
• They covered themselves with fig leaves to hide from each other, as they lost the transparency and unity that existed between the two: more and more couples protect and hide from each other;
• Sin made them lose their discernment about the true enemy, causing confusion between them, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent: even today, Satan, who makes them think that the enemy is their spouse, deceives couples.

Homework:

1. Is your marriage a blood covenant or a contract? Why?

from A Cord of Three Strands