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Devotion for Women ZZ

Title: Sacred Affair

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ‘ Genesis 2:18(NLT)

‘A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:39(NLT)

Bible Reference(s): Genesis 2:18 – “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’”

Devotional Content:

Marriage is a sacred affair. It’s a high calling—one of the highest callings we can be commissioned for. If God called you to this, he is expecting great things from you. Never underestimate the power,sacredness, and influence being a wife has on God’s kingdom. The marriage covenant is a holy union—holy and designed by God. Marriage is a vow for life. Not just until you don’t feel like being married anymore. A promise for life. First Corinthians 7:39 says, “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives…” Bound. Bound as in, tied to and bonded forever. Marriage is serious business to God. 

When you honor your spouse, you honor God. Your marriage can be a tool God can use to point people to Him when you have a God-centered marriage. Did you know it is through giving in marriage that you will  receive the greatest joy? Marriage at its best is two people loving each other selflessly. When loving unconditionally and selflessly can be mastered, your union  will feel like heaven. That’s right. You can experience heaven here on earth when your marriage is centered on God. He created it, and when we follow his instructions, not only will God be glorified, contentment will overflow. 

Here’s a secret all successful married couples know: marriage isn’t about you. It’s not about you being happy or your spouse being happy. Yes, extreme joy and happiness can be a by-product of marriage—that’s the way God designed it. In order to obtain the kind of marriage that honors God, you must fight against your innate selfish nature. When everything inside of you screams, I need to take care of ME and look out for ME. You need to bury self-centered thinking and think in terms of what is best for your relationship. Think in terms of what’s best for WE.

Are you madly in love? Do you treat him well? Decide that you will treat your spouse better tomorrow than you did today. Strive to one up yourself daily. Even when you don’t feel like it. Leave him love letters on the bathroom mirror with lipstick, cheer for him when he picks up his socks or opens jars for you. Make him his favorite dessert, just because. Or better yet, be his favorite dessert. Kindnesses will grow your marriage into an example God will use until death do you part. 

So what? Offer one, or more, acts of kindness you can show your husband today. 

Dear God, help me be the wife you’ve called me to be today. Display your glory through my marriage and in the ways I treat my husband. 

from Seven Days To “From Me to We” Bible Plan by Lucille Williams

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Saying “Yes” to Your Spouse

‘So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. ‘ Ephesians 5:15-17(NLT)

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

‘For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ‘ Ephesians 5:25(NLT)

Devotional Content:

There was a time early in our marriage that my priority was me. I said yes to every committee and board that I was asked to be a part of. There were weeks that I had something to do almost every night. I justified it all because the things that I was involved in were good things. Some things had to do with the church. Other things had to do with the business I was involved with at that time. Then there were the civic activities I was a part of. I was building this great resume and at the same, failing at the commitment I made before any of these others: my marriage.  

You may be able to do all the above and still put God and your marriage first but I couldn’t. I didn’t. Every time I said “yes” to something, I was saying “no” to time with Nancy. Our marriage was headed for a train wreck if something did not change. Thankfully, it did change, or I did. I heard what Nancy was saying to me and made the decision to say “yes” to her and “no” to all the other things. It took a few months but I got off of every committee or board that met at night. I had a wife and kids and I chose to be home at night. It was a big first step for me as I began putting things in the right order. My marriage began to grow. God led me away from business and into ministry. My focus changed and my life finally had the balance it needed. Learning to say “yes” to the important things in life was a life and marriage changer.

Today’s Challenge:

  1. What are your top three priorities today?
  2. What are you saying “yes” to today that you need to say “no” to tomorrow?
  3. In the big picture, what does “winning” look like to you?

Going Deeper:

As you look back over the past six days of this plan, what is your biggest takeaway and how will it affect you and your spouse in the future?

from “Fighting to be a Man of God”

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Small Steps that Lead to Big Destruction

‘People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.’ Proverbs 28:13(NLT)

‘Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. ‘ James 5:16(NLT)

‘Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.’ James 1:14-15(NLT)

‘Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. ‘ 2 Timothy 2:15(NLT)

Devotional Content:

I have never counseled a man who told me he walked out of the house one morning and decided to screw up his life, his marriage, and his family, but I have counseled many men who did just that. It almost never happens with one big giant step. Instead it is the small steps – almost baby steps – that take us from where we are to where we never thought we would go. We could stop taking the steps at any time, but we don’t and then we end up in a mess that we cannot find our way out of. Pastor Craig says that sin is progressive. That’s the picture we have here: Progressive sin.  

If this path of sin is truly progressive, that means we have many opportunities along the road to stop it. Here are some things for you to think about:

  • Get ahead of the game. Put safeguards in place before you need them. That may be an accountability partner, altering travel plans, or eliminating access to certain things on your mobile device.
  • Make a commitment to be faithful to your spouse in every way and never compromise that commitment.
  • If you take a baby step, stop at step one.
  • Be open and transparent. Pastor Craig says that “sin grows best in the dark.”
  • Pray that your sexual desires will be for your spouse only.

Today’s Challenge:

  1. Pray for God to bring a man into your life that you can be mutually accountable with.
  2. Is there something you need to stop today?  
  3. What can you do to protect yourself from your areas of vulnerability?

Going Deeper:

The small steps are there every day for you to take. Pray that God will equip you to resist temptation and take big steps away instead of small steps towards your vulnerabilities.

from “Fighting to be a Man of God”

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Men and Emotions

‘For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.’ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8(NLT)

‘Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.’ Proverbs 29:11(NLT)

‘And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ Ephesians 4:26-27(NLT)

Devotional Content:

The first time that I saw my granddad cry was the night he told me that his mother had just died.  I was about six years old. My granddad was my hero. He taught me everything from how to build things, to farming, to the importance of having Jesus in my life. This big strong man came and sat on the edge of my bed that night with tears in his eyes, and told me of his sadness. I have never forgotten that night. The impact was profound. It was a few years later that I was sad and tears began to stream down my cheeks. I was with some friends but I never flinched. Crying was okay. It was not until I was much older that I realized what a gift my grandad gave me.  

There is all this confusion in men about their emotions. When is it okay to show them? Are some emotions good and others bad? What does it mean to be led by the Spirit and not driven by our emotions? 

Here is my take of these questions. First, I believe all emotions come from God. Therefore, the emotion itself is neither good or bad; it is how we choose to express the emotion that can be good or bad. If I am angry at someone and ask them to talk it through with me, that would be a good way to handle my anger. On the other hand, if I just start hitting the person, that would be a bad way to handle it. I think the Holy Spirit is there, ready and waiting to help us handle our emotions in a way that honors God. He is right there and ready to jump in. We just have to ask Him.

Today’s Challenge:

  1. What emotions do you need to express in healthy ways that would be good for you and those around you?
  2. When are you vulnerable to being driven by your emotions?
  3. Is there an emotion in your life that is out of control? If so, will you reach out for help today?

Going Deeper:

List the three emotions that you experience the most. Now prayerfully examine each of these before God. Ask His wisdom in handling each of these emotions in a way that honors Him.

from “Fighting to be a Man of God”

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Lust, Entitlement, and Pride

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ‘ Philippians 2:3(NLT)

‘Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.’ Proverbs 16:18(NLT)

‘When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.’ Galatians 5:19-21(NLT)

‘Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:18(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Samson had three big issues that caused his demise. They were pride, lust, and entitlement.  Honestly, I cannot think of a man I know or have known who did not deal with at least one of these. In fact, most of us deal with all three. I believe that dealing with these is not a “one and done” thing. We must continue to deal with them. Every time I think I have gotten control of my pride, it jumps out at me again. Lust is such a big part of our culture that it attacks us from all directions every day. Finally, entitlement is a never ending battle inside of us. 

This is my take on the “Big Three.” As long as we say they don’t affect us, they will. Acting like they do not exist for us is simply an act of lying to ourselves. Acknowledging that we need help is our first step. Until we admit that we are vulnerable, we are just fooling ourselves. It’s interesting isn’t it? We become strong by admitting that we have a weakness. It’s not managing the temptations. Instead, it’s starting a consistent battle to eliminate them from our lives. 

Today’s Challenge:

  1. Of pride, lust, and entitlement, which of the “Big Three” is the biggest issue for you?
  2. What are you doing to deal with these issues is your life?
  3. What is the difference between “managing temptation” and “eliminating it?”

Going Deeper:

List out the areas where you are most vulnerable. What is your first step in getting the help you need?

from “Fighting to be a Man of God”

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Dealing with Anger and Fighting for a Cause

‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. ‘ James 1:19-20(NLT)

‘Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.’ Proverbs 16:31(NLT)

‘Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.’ Proverbs 29:11(NLT)

Devotional Content:

There are times that I think anger in men is an epidemic. I seem to run into angry men everywhere I go. Many of us live with our anger so close to the surface that it is just waiting for an opportunity to jump out and take over. Have you ever been surprised by your anger? Have you ever felt you were watching a crazed person acting out their anger, and then realized it was you? Has your anger ever caused your spouse to be fearful? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, or even if you had to think twice before you answered, it may be time to deal with your anger. 

Pastor Craig says that his experience tells him most men are really angry at themselves. Let that sink in for a moment. Is there any truth in that for you? Is it time to take that first step in dealing with your anger by admitting that you have a problem? Remember, getting help is not a sign of weakness but truly a sign of strength.

Today’s Challenge:

  1. How does your anger affect you, your spouse, and your kids?
  2. If you ask yourself, “why am I frustrated?” what is your answer?
  3. If you have an anger problem, will you reach out for help today?

Going Deeper:

What is the cause that God is calling you to fight for? If nothing comes to your mind, commit to pray this prayer daily for thirty days: Father, I want a cause to believe in and to fight for. Please lead me to the cause you have for me. Thank you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

from “Fighting to be a Man of God”

Categories
Devotion for Men ZZ

“How to be a Warrior in Your Marriage”

‘Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. ‘ 1 Corinthians 16:13(NLT)

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ‘ Philippians 2:3(NLT)

‘Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. Interlude’ Psalms 62:5-8(NLT)

‘Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ‘ John 15:4-5(NLT)

‘This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”’ Joshua 1:9(NLT)

Devotional Content:

What does it really mean to have the heart of a warrior? That is a challenge for me. I like the idea of being a fighter and going to battle, but often the images in my mind are different than truly being a warrior for God. If I am fighting self-defined battles, my tendency is to be selfish. I fight for what I want instead of making sure I am fighting for what God wants. Being a warrior for God really involves fighting for something that is much greater than myself. Fighting for Him means I fight the battles that truly matter and in that fight, I follow Jesus’s example. That can also be tough because Jesus led like a servant and ultimately laid down His life for me. So if I am to fight like Jesus, I have to be willing to do the same as He did. The good news is that I don’t have to do it in my own power and my own strength. Jesus is right there fighting by my side and I have His power and His strength. Each day as I fight for something great for my marriage and my family, He is right there with me. With Jesus at my side, I will win the battle day after day after day! So will you!

Today’s Challenge:

  1. What does it mean to you to “fight for something greater than yourself?”
  2. Today, what is the battle you are fighting that matters the most? How can you bring God into the battle?
  3. What does it mean to you to be a servant leader?

Going Deeper:

Pastor Craig says that we do not have to fight “in our own strength.” How does that play out for you in the battles you face daily?

from “Fighting to be a Man of God”

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

LET IT GO

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

David: Sometimes the argument is over, but the feelings remain. Other times the memory of a harsh word replays in your mind long after the argument has ended. But if you allow your argument to endure for too long, then unforgiveness will ruin your relationship. Tam and I have decided to just L-I-G – let it go. It does not diminish my feelings or hers, but my decision to let it go frees me from my own self-induced prison. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want is to look at my spouse and only see the pain I caused. I don’t want to become the object of her deepest pain. 

Forgiveness is not easy, but it is always worth it. Remember, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each another, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). It’s impossible to have a successful relationship if you don’t forgive. If you’re willing to extend the same grace that God has extended to you, your marriage will flourish. 

ACTIVITY: FIVE RULES FOR FIGHTING

Come up with five rules to implement whenever you argue. These rules will help to make sure that one bad moment doesn’t turn into a miserable marriage. For example: When we argue, I will not cut you off while you are speaking.

from Our Keys to Healthier Communication in Marriage by David & Tamela Mann

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

ASK FOR HELP

‘God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.’ Matthew 5:9(NLT)

David: When an issue becomes too difficult for you and your spouse to manage together, it may be time to call on an objective third party to help you figure things out. Every once in a while, all of us can benefit from a mediator that we trust to step in and provide wise counsel. This ensures that both parties are heard and a resolve can be achieved. There is nothing wrong with going to a counselor. There is nothing wrong with confiding in your pastor or your spiritual leader. God has anointed individuals to help you work through your problems when you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is God’s will that your marriage prospers, and you must know that God is faithful to send help in the time of need. 

Tamela and I have always encouraged our friends and family members to seek counseling. We have often reached out to others that we trust (our pastor and trusted friends) to help us with difficult issues in our marriage. The key for me was to constantly tell myself, and to communicate to Tam: We can get through this. It’s only a rough patch. I’m not going to give up on you, and my desire is to strengthen our marriage by any means necessary. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.  Is it time to seek counseling?

2.  If yes, make a list of a couple trusted and or referred counselors and interview them so you both agree on a choice.

from Our Keys to Healthier Communication in Marriage by David & Tamela Mann

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

NEVER RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT ANGRY WITH EACH OTHER

‘And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ‘ Ephesians 4:26(NLT)

Tam: The Bible encourages us with these words: “Do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). That’s one of the Scriptures that David and I turn to frequently when we are engaged in a heated argument. In every marriage this may mean something different. Some people can’t talk when they are fuming. Some people need time to hit the reset button before they try to resolve things peaceably. But David and I have decided that, at some point in the conversation, we will agree to disagree for the moment, but we will continue in the morning. I don’t want my husband to feel punished for a lifetime simply because we had one disagreement. 

How often has one negative word or one misunderstood comment ruined an entire day? To me, it’s not worth it. I love my husband. And I know he loves me. So I try my best not to go to bed angry at him. Even if I don’t want to cuddle and kiss, I can at least say, “Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.” 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.  Where and when do you argue?

2.  Have you designated an action plan for having tough conversations? Discuss with each other.

from Our Keys to Healthier Communication in Marriage by David & Tamela Mann