Category: Step Father-mother

‘As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.’ Proverbs 27:17(NLT)

‘We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. ‘ Romans 15:1(NLT)

‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all. However, he has given each one of us a special gift through the generosity of Christ. That is why the Scriptures say, “When he ascended to the heights, he led a crowd of captives and gave gifts to his people.” Notice that it says “he ascended.” This clearly means that Christ also descended to our lowly world. And the same one who descended is the one who ascended higher than all the heavens, so that he might fill the entire universe with himself. Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.’ Ephesians 4:1-16(NLT)

‘Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. ‘ 2 Timothy 2:15(NLT)

‘And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:25(NLT)

Godly parenting might seem like a daunting task. However, the good news for us as Christians is that we are not alone in our walk with the Lord. We have a bigger family, the church of God, to help us in every aspect of our spiritual life. This includes parenting. We need to be devoted to God’s church by attending a local Christian congregation. When our church meets on Sunday for corporate worship, we should be there. If our church has a mid-week service, we should try to attend it. When we do, we experience the teaching of the Word of God together as a family. 

Many churches also have Bible studies that meet at various times and discuss different subjects. There might be a parenting class among the topics taught at our local church. The Bible says that when we meet together, we can exhort and encourage each other. Iron sharpens iron is a biblical expression that means that we can help each other and learn from each other. Since parenting is not an easy task, we should take advantage of any training and equipping a local church can offer. 

We are all students of the Word of God. When we get taught at our church, we can then go home and pass this knowledge on to our children. At home, we can practice living out the Word of God that we heard at church. Hearing the Word together as a family makes the job even easier. We can later discuss it together and help answer any questions our children might have. In other words, the church trains parents and the parents train children.

The church provides us with opportunities to serve and get trained in the Word of God in a practical way. We can come early to usher for the Sunday service. Or we can attend an outreach to the homeless the church might organize to learn compassion. We can involve our children in a youth group. They can even participate in leadership on their own level by leading a youth Bible Study or singing at a youth worship service. The church of God is an amazing place God provided for us to learn the Word of God together. The church helps us to accomplish our task of raising godly children. 

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.’ Deuteronomy 11:19-21(NLT)

‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Proverbs 4:23(NLT)

‘“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord , search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”’ Jeremiah 17:9-10(NLT)

‘You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. ‘ Matthew 12:34(NLT)

‘and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need. ‘ Acts of the Apostles 17:25(NLT)

‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:2(NLT)

‘Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.’ 1 Peter 5:7(NLT)

‘For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. ‘ Hebrews 4:12(NLT)

As godly parents, we also need to know our limits. Only God can convert our children. Only God can transform them. In all of our parenting, we must aim at the heart. Our children’s hearts are the battleground of their lives. This is where they will make the most important decisions. The content of their hearts is also the problem they will face throughout their lives. The Bible tells us that everything that concerns our lives flows from our hearts. Christ reiterated that when He said in the Gospels that we speak words with our mouth, but they originate from the abundance of our hearts.

The Bible also tells us that only God knows the depths of our hearts. In other words, the only solution for the human heart is the power of God. Only God can transform us from the inside out. This transformation happens on the inside through God’s Word. Our children need to hear God’s Word and see it applied in our lives. This will transform their hearts. Even though as parents we address our children’s behavior, we need to be more concerned about their hearts. We need to keep pointing our children to the Gospel and to the Lord through our instruction and by our own example. 

Our emphasis on the heart should come naturally. It should become part of our daily routine. The Old Testament says that we should discuss God’s instructions and commandments with our children when we sit at home and when we walk in the park, before we go to sleep and when we wake up in the morning. We don’t need to pretend or be legalistic about this but to demonstrate to our children that we genuinely love the Lord and practice His Word daily. 

God is involved in every part of human life. He cares for us. He is there in mundane things, and He is there in the very overt spiritual things. The Scripture says that the Lord gives us life, and breath, and all things. Our very existence is His gift. We need to demonstrate this truth to our children. 

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.’ Deuteronomy 6:4-9(NLT)

‘“So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.’ Deuteronomy 11:18-21(NLT)

‘So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:9(NLT)

‘As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ 1 Thessalonians 1:3(NLT)

As a parent, you need to love your spouse. However, you also need to love your family. That means that you need to put your family first. We live in a busy world. It is so easy to get involved with many different things. It is easy to allow work and other activities to occupy all of our time. Spending quality time together with our family will not happen automatically. Sometimes, it requires a sacrifice. Nevertheless, we need to be intentional about our time together as a family. We need to make our family a priority.

Have meals together. Do fun activities together. Play together. You need to have leisure time and enjoy each other, but you also need to have serious, heartfelt conversations with your children. Sometimes we are really tired when we get home. Often, we allow that to rob us of the time we should spend with our children. We miss the opportunity of having meaningful substantive conversations with them.

Be intentional about creating quality times with your children. Guard your time together. You can volunteer at their school or coach a sport they are interested in. Or you can engage your children in an activity that you are doing. For example, if you are allowed to bring your children to your office or you work for yourself, take your children to work with you. Let them see what you do for living. Maybe, they will help. Maybe, they can learn a skill. Other times, take your children with you when you go shopping. Let them be part of daily family responsibilities. Create special time with them and also engage them in your activities; both will help them enjoy your company. Children will always appreciate that. 

Raising children is an expensive undertaking. It not only has financial costs, but it requires time, energy, and emotional resources. When you get weary, ask the Holy Spirit to replenish you. Remember your children are the greatest investment you will ever make. It is a lifelong investment. As hard as it is, it will be worth it in the end if you do it right. 

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

‘I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.’ John 17:21(NLT)

‘Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.’ Proverbs 22:6(NLT)

‘Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. ‘ Romans 13:1(NLT)

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

‘Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ‘ Colossians 3:14(NLT)

‘No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.’ Hebrews 12:11(NLT)

Your marriage is an important part of your parenting. In fact, it’s vital. You and your spouse are the one relationship that is before your children’s eyes daily. It is the primary relationship where you can demonstrate to your children your own devotion to God and to His Word. Are you loving the person that God has given you in marriage?

Are husbands loving their wives as Christ loved and laid down His life for the Church? Are wives respecting their husbands in the way the Scripture teaches? Parents’ relationship to children is a relationship based on authority. To show your children how to properly relate to someone in authority and how to properly exercise authority, you need to model to them how to live under the authority of God in your own lives. How you treat your spouse is very important. This is another area where you need to examine your heart daily. 

You need to make your spouse a priority over any other relationship in your life. Do you spend time with your spouse? Do you give gifts to each other? Are you kind in your daily exchanges? Do you forgive each other? Do you pray and worship God together? Do you help each other around the house? Do you consult with each other about money? Are you respectful to your spouse in front of your children? Your children are like sponges: they absorb everything they see you do. They remember everything they hear you say. 

You and your spouse should also agree on how you parent. Your children should never find “an easier parent.” You should be one in the way you relate to your children. In other words, your children should not get a “no” from mom regarding an activity or a purchase andthen go to dad behind mom’s back and get a “yes.” Always consult each other. If you do not know what the other parent would say, tell your children to wait for the answer until you are in agreement on the matter. Your children will respect that. They might not say it at the moment, but they will love that their mom and dad love and respect each other. 

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ Exodus 20:12(NLT)

‘“Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God commanded you. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ Deuteronomy 5:16(NLT)

‘A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.’ Proverbs 13:1(NLT)

‘They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. ‘ Romans 1:30(NLT)

‘So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:9(NLT)

‘Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.’ Ephesians 6:1-4(NLT)

‘Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. ‘ Colossians 3:20(NLT)

Any person who has children can tell you that parenting might very well be the hardest job in the world. If you are a Christian parent, the work does not get easier because you want to raise your children to honor God. The Scriptures tell the parents to raise their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The Scriptures also tell the children to obey their parents, which does not always happen. Disobedience adds to parenting being difficult. With the tension between the encouragement of the Scriptures and the reality of life, how does one become a godly Christian parent? 

First, parenting is a lifelong endeavor. You are a parent for the rest of your life. You parent your children while they are under your roof. And you can still counsel them after they leave your house. Once you become a parent, you never stop being a parent. It is an ongoing effort, so you need patience, diligence, and endurance. You have to stay at it. You must do the right thing day in and day out. You must be kind to your children whether you had a good day at work or not. You must love them daily, continually and consistently. 

If you want to teach your children something, you must invest time into it. So if you want your children to play a musical instrument, you cannot just take them to lessons for several months and then let them quit. You need to invest years of encouragement, finances, and time into this activity. The same goes for sports. Of course, this is also true about spiritual disciplines. In other words, if you want your children to love the Lord, you need to pray together frequently. You need to study the Bible together regularly. You should go to and serve in a church together. Parenting is a long-term commitment. 

The Bible promises us that we reap what we sow as long as we do not quit. This is especially true with parenting. We cannot expect immediate results with our children. We cannot raise microwave Christians. Raising godly children takes time and patience. Actually, it takes a long time and a lot of patience. The fruit, however, is most rewarding. 

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”’ Genesis 1:28(NLT)

‘“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ Exodus 20:12(NLT)

‘My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.’ Proverbs 1:8-9(NLT)

‘Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.’ Proverbs 13:24(NLT)

‘Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.’ Proverbs 22:6(NLT)

‘To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.’ Proverbs 29:15(NLT)

‘Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.’ Ephesians 6:4(NLT)

‘No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.’ Hebrews 12:11(NLT)

No matter what challenges we face in raising our children, we must remember that it is our responsibility from the Lord. He will give us the strength to do it. However, He also expects us to do it well. Interestingly, there are few instructions given to children in Scripture. They should believe the Gospel, which is true for everyone, and they should obey their parents. Most other Scriptural instructions address parents. 

Since parents are the primary authority at home, they are the leaders. God expects more from them than He does from children. Young people are taught to be learners throughout the book of Proverbs, but parents are to take the lead in living a godly lifestyle and teaching their children to do the same. In our culture children are sometimes given too much freedom or too much responsibility. Some parents say that they let their children decide whether or not they want to go to church. That is wrong. As a parent, you are in control of your child’s life and their Christian upbringing. You have to get them to do the right thing. 

You are in your children’s lives for a reason: to guide, instruct, and mold them into the godly people they are to become. The Bible sees parents as the influencers in their children’s lives. You must teach your children to honor the Lord. You also need to teach them to honor you. This will help them to know how to honor authority. Of course, you must also behave honorably. You cannot yell at your spouse, lie to others, or cheat in your business and expect your children to honor the godliness in you. You must be godly.

Model honor for your children; they will follow your lead. The Scriptures tell us that children might not like discipline at the time it is given, but later it will produce a fruit of righteousness and peace in their lives. Your children might not be as enthusiastic about going to church on Sunday or reading the Bible at home as you would like them to be. But if you stay firm and consistent, these godly disciplines will become part of their lives. They will thank you when they grow up.

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.’ Proverbs 24:16(NLT)

‘“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ‘ John 15:5(NLT)

‘But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”’ Acts of the Apostles 1:8(NLT)

‘For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. ‘ Romans 3:23(NLT)

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

‘Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.’ James 3:2(NLT)

‘If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. ‘ 1 John 1:8-9(NLT)

‘For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy.’ Hebrews 10:14(NLT)

As much as we try to raise our children well and examine our hearts before God while doing it, we don’t always get it right. Sometimes, in our parenting, we are tempted to use the old adage: do as I say, not as I do. The truth is that we do live in this world and we make mistakes. As much as we try not to be hypocritical, we are also not perfect. What do we do when we sin, or when we err? Is there room for failure in godly parenting?

The answer, surprisingly, is “Yes!” The Gospel is the main thing that we need to teach our children. In other words, we need to teach them that people have a sinful nature. We need to teach them about Christ’s sacrificial redemption. We have to tell them about forgiveness. We should show them what it means to be progressively sanctified. The Bible tells us that we all stumble in many ways. None of us is without sin. Family is the place where forgiveness is constantly needed and confession of sin is constantly practiced. 

To fail is not to be a hypocrite. That is not what hypocrisy means. Hypocrisy is wearing a mask. It is being a play actor. It is playing a role that is not you. Children can absorb a lot of failure on the part of their parents when they know that their parents are genuine in their love for God and genuine in their love for them. That’s where we need to really test ourselves. It is about our hearts. We need to ask ourselves, “Am I repeating things just to sound right? Do I really believe the things that I am saying?” 

Just like everything in our Christian walk, parenting is about faith. We must ask ourselves if we really believe the Word of God and if we are striving to teach our children to believe it too. Christ said that we can do nothing without Him. That includes parenting. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to parent right. We need God’s help in this important life endeavor. He is always there to answer our prayers and to give us the strength necessary to be a godly parent.  

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent

‘Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.’ Matthew 23:1-4(NLT)

‘Jesus replied, “You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.’ Mark 7:6(NLT)

‘Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. ‘ Ephesians 6:1(NLT)

‘Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.’ Colossians 3:21(NLT)

‘For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. ‘ 1 John 2:16(NLT)

‘Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you ; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith. ‘ 2 Corinthians 13:5(NLT)

Children are great character readers, so parents cannot be hypocrites. You cannot tell your child to do something, while you do something else. You can’t teach your children anything you are not willing to live. So if you want your children to grow up loving and honoring the Lord, you must make sure that you are doing it yourself. To train your children well, you must examine your own devotion to God. You need to be honest with yourself and examine yourself daily. 

For example, you want your children to study the Bible, ask yourself, “Do I study the Bible consistently?” You want your children to pray. Ask yourself, “Do I pray daily?” You should be teaching your children to love the church. Do you model what that means? If you want to teach your children to honor God with their money, you need to give faithfully to God’s Kingdom. Ask yourself, “Am I generous? Do I honor God with my resources?”If you want to teach your children about sexual purity, examine your life. Are you watching your heart and your mind? Are you being a good example of everything you teach? 

The Bible warns us that this world is full of evil. There is the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life that operates here. Before you can teach your children to keep themselves pure and serve the Lord, you need to do the same. Be aware of temptations in your own life because you are your children’s primary teacher. The first spiritual teacher of our children is not the church. A local church equips parents who then are primary teachers to their children. You teach by what you say, but also by how you live. In fact, your life, your actions, speak louder than your words. For you to be a good teacher to your children, you need to be a godly role model to them. 

When you are consistent in what you do, what you say will matter to your children. They will treasure your words through the years. If you are inconsistent and are a hypocrite, you will eventually frustrate your children and they will become bitter. You must live out the godliness you want to model. 

from How To Be A Good Christian Parent