Category: Saving Marriage

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

‘This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. ‘ 1 John 4:10-16(NLT)

Ephesians 4 shows us how marriage models Christ’s relationship with His church. Looking at Christ’s life, then, will give us a model for how to practically live in ways that lead to the flourishing relationships he has designed for us. 

Christ’s entire life was about sacrifice. He sacrificed the extravagant comfort of Heaven in exchange for a nomadic existence on a broken world. He sacrificed constant worship and praise in exchange for betrayal and mocking, and most significantly, He sacrifice His life in exchange for death on a cross. He did this all for us, and He did this all for love. 

This is the life Paul compares to marriage. This is how husbands and wives are called to love one another, through sacrifice and humility.

In Paul’s first letter the Corinthians, he gives a long list of what love is and what it is not. Likely, you’ve heard this read at a wedding and maybe you even had it read at yours. The familiarity of the verses makes it an easy passage to skim over, but it actually calls God’s people to an extreme way of life. 

Practicing patience and kindness in our relationships is rebellious to our natural, selfish ways of being. We naturally want to think primarily of ourselves, but God’s calls us to think primarily of our spouse no matter what. The verses about love are unconditional. We are to act this way no matter how our spouse responds, and that is a difficult call. 

Luckily, Christ also understands that difficulty. Scripture tells us that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” meaning He did not wait for us to fix ourselves before loving us. When we do not have the strength to love our spouses in this way, we can be fueled by His love for us and hold on to the grace and love of God in our own lives.   

The scriptures for today may seem impossible to live up to but remember that if you have the Holy Spirit within you, He can help guide you and lead you in the ways of the Lord. Pray that you lean on His power instead of your own. 

from Pursuing Love While Considering Divorce

‘Then God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply. Let the fish fill the seas, and let the birds multiply on the earth.” And evening passed and morning came, marking the fifth day. Then God said, “Let the earth produce every sort of animal, each producing offspring of the same kind—livestock, small animals that scurry along the ground, and wild animals.” And that is what happened. God made all sorts of wild animals, livestock, and small animals, each able to produce offspring of the same kind. And God saw that it was good.’ Genesis 1:22-25(NLT)

‘throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:22-32(NLT)

Now that we have an understanding of how sin corrupts our relationships, we can look closely at the original, perfect plan for marriage that sin has broken. As we look at this, keep in mind that God has an incredible amount of grace for His people. Even when we don’t execute this perfectly, He loves us and helps give us the power we need to strive for better relationships. 

As we saw yesterday, God designed marriage for unity. Literally, God formed Eve out of Adam’s body. They were intimately intertwined with each other. When Adam first meets his bride, he sings of the intimate relationship.

           “This at last is bone of my bones

                       And flesh of my flesh;

           She shall be called Woman,

                       Because she was taken out of Man” (Gen. 1:23)

Adam’s use of the word “at last” implies that he eagerly waited for someone like this. Before creating Eve, God declared that Adam being alone was not good. He created marriage as the solution. 

After Jesus’ time on earth, Paul shows us how the “profound mystery” of marriage reflects Christ’s love for His people. Husbands lay their lives down for their wives and wives submit their lives to their husbands. 

If we think back to the original sin, we can see that Adam and Eve did not practice this type of mutual sacrifice once they had eaten the fruit. Adam’s immediate accusation of Eve shows that he was not laying his life down. He was more so pushing her life down in front of him. Likewise, Eve ate the fruit, knowing it was forbidden, without any of Adam’s input on the matter. They separated from each other and did not live in the unity God had for them. 

Ignoring God’s design for unity and intimate community within marriage will always result in fractured relationships. 

The scriptures from today will help you see God’s perfect design for marriage. Pray that He gives you a desire to live out this kind of marriage.

from Pursuing Love While Considering Divorce

‘The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”’ Genesis 3:1-13(NLT)

God established marriage in the very beginning. Before the enemy brought in sin, before humanity became corrupted, Adam and Eve lived as one flesh, united together by God through marriage. 

As soon as sin entered into the story, though, that perfect unity broke apart instantly. 

Both Adam and Eve knew not to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but the Serpent led Eve towards the tree, tempting her with the attractive fruit that would “make one wise.”  

During this time, Adam was nowhere near her. 

Sin entered in when the two were apart. 

Later, Eve offers the fruit to Adam, having him join her in sin, and instead of resisting, he participates as well. Now both have sinned.

When God questions them about their sin, Adam immediately casts blame on Eve, separating himself from her and effectively declaring that they are not one flesh, but rather, two separate people with no special connection. 

Sin does this to marriage. It causes us to view the spouse as an “other” and not as part of ourselves. Sin causes us to cast blame and to make excuses for our own mistakes. It causes strife and leads to mental, emotional, and physical separation.

When the Serpent approaches Eve, he also causes her to distrust God. “Did God really say?” The strongest weapon against sin is a deep affection for God and a complete trust in Him. Do you lean on Him when you encounter sin in your marriage? Or do you run from him like Adam and Eve try to do?

As you read through the scriptures today, pray that God would reveal the ways that sin has entered into your marriage. Pray that He would help you trust Him more and that He would restore the unity between you and your spouse. In the next devotional, we will further examine God’s design for unity in marriage.

from Pursuing Love While Considering Divorce

‘And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” ‘ Revelation 21:5(NLT)

‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ‘ Romans 8:28(NLT)

‘And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. ‘ 2 Corinthians 9:8(NLT)

Divorce is a terrible reality in our sinful world. God designed marriage to be an extraordinary relationship between two people possible.

Now, all too often sin comes in and tries to break what should be unbreakable. 

But Christ is stronger than sin. 

Throughout this study, we will see how much God loves marriage. We will look at how He created it with a specific vision in mind and how he gives us His word, His wisdom, and His strength to guide us in marriage through the Holy Spirit. Marriage may not be easy, but it is a special relationship that is worth fighting for. 

As you go through this study, it will be easy to push back. Try not to. Instead, lean into God’s Word and pray for the Holy Spirit’s power to live out God’s vision. Your marriage may be in trouble, but God can save anything. It’s not too late. 

The scriptures for today focus on God’s redeeming power. They remind us of how He makes the impossible possible. While the rest of the study will focus more specifically on marriage, take some time today to see the hope that God offers. Trust in Him and see that He can help you through this tough time. He can heal you, and He can heal your marriage. Praise Him for His goodness and pray that you would turn and trust Him.

from Pursuing Love While Considering Divorce