Category: Infidelity:

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Healing Well, Living Free

‘You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.’ Proverbs 23:18(NLT)

Scripture: Proverbs 23:18

I used to think that abusers were those scary-looking people in prison mug shots whose cold, blank stares send a chill down your spine. When I married my tall, dark, and handsome heartthrob, I practically levitated as I walked down the aisle. The thought that three years later he’d pick me up like a rag doll and throw me against the headboard of our bed was inconceivable to me. No way, not me. Not him. Not us. 

What I didn’t realize is that my experience was textbook in many ways. I minimized the verbal, emotional, and physical assaults, calling them everything and anything but abuse. I was not a victim, and he was not an abuser. I believed I could love him into wellness. But until you call it what it is, you’re going to call it what it’s not. I did just that.

If you’re anything remotely like me, you may be doing the same thing, saying things like, “We have a communication problem,” “We need to learn how to resolve conflict better,” or “We’re just going through a stressful time.” These are just a few of the erroneous phrases I used to minimize the abuse I was enduring—and ones I commonly hear when working with clients who have experienced abuse from their intimate partners.

I don’t intend to advise you on whether or not to remain in your relationship. You alone can decide that. I do want to share with you that you can heal—and not just heal but heal well. Healing well is the precursor to living free. As a woman of deep faith, I believe we were created for freedom. Abuse in marriage is the kryptonite to freedom. Abuse, regardless of how it manifests itself, will destroy the trust and, in the end, can destroy the relationship. More importantly, it can destroy you, and you matter.

There is life after abuse. But to heal well and live free, you must choose to do so. It won’t just happen. It will take effort and commitment on your part. It may be the hardest thing you ever do. But from my own experience I can tell you: it’s worth it.

Do you believe it’s possible for you to heal well from the pain you have experienced in your relationship? Why or why not? Do you believe you are worthy of finding healing? Why or why not?

from Healing Well And Living Free by Dr. Ramona Probasco

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Infidelity: ZZ

Remaining Faithful

‘Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. ‘ Hebrews 10:23(NLT)

‘Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ‘ Matthew 22:37(NLT)

‘“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ‘ John 15:5(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

One of the last times that I met with Emily and Aiden, I wanted to challenge them. I knew they had to keep doing the things in their marriage that they began over these past two years. I also knew what could happen if they did not. Just because a couple goes through and comes out of infidelity does not erase their vulnerability for the rest of their lives. The key to keeping and continuing to build an Awesome Marriage is consistency. It’s doing the things that work day after day after day. I asked them to get another couple they trusted to be their accountability partners. This would be a couple that would regularly check on them to make sure they were on the right path. They both agreed on Aiden’s friend that was there from the beginning and his wife. This was a great choice.

There were a lot of dark days in their past and now it was time to work on a string of sunny or a least partly sunny days. We talked about things they liked to do together for fun and some new things to try. They needed to begin to really reap the rewards of all the hard work. Enjoying each other and having fun together are so important to an Awesome Marriage.  

Honestly, I believe without a doubt that prayer was what God used to heal this marriage. It was a combination of Aiden’s prayers, Emily’s prayers, and their prayers together. God knit them together with Him in a close, intimate way. Being purposeful in prayer for the rest of their marriage was a non-negotiable.  

Emily and Aiden made it. Wherever you are in your marriage today, you can make it just like they did. Here is the difference I saw in Emily and Aiden and the way they fought through infidelity. They did not just want to just survive. They wanted their marriage to thrive. They wanted it better than ever. They wanted every bit of what God had for them in marriage and God showed up like He does with more blessings than they could ever imagine.  

Today’s Challenge: Dr. Kim shares that putting God first and your spouse next can help you remain faithful. What do you need to do this week to make sure you are putting God first and your spouse second? 

Going Deeper:

1. Make a commitment to praying for your marriage daily.  

2. Dr. Kim shares that one practical thing you can do to safeguard your marriage is to invest in it. Plan something fun to do with your spouse this week. 

3. If you have considered taking any kind of baby step towards an affair, get help today. Don’t wait until an affair has taken place, go seek help from a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend. 

4. Pray and ask God to help you make a commitment to faithfulness in your marriage.

from Infidelity – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Saving a Marriage

‘Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. ‘ Romans 12:12(NLT)

‘We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. ‘ Colossians 1:11-12(NLT)

‘Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ‘ Colossians 3:12(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

One person cannot make a marriage work. No matter how much you want an Awesome Marriage, you cannot do it alone. It is interesting that one person can destroy a marriage all by themself. That one spouse can end all that was built and all the hopes and dreams of the future. Yet, if a marriage is to be rebuilt, it takes two. As Emily came more and more on board, the marriage she thought was lost forever began to rise out of the devastation. Aiden did what I think is one of the most difficult steps in rebuilding a marriage; he was patient. As much as he wanted this marriage to work, he had to wait on Emily and that turned out to be a long wait.  

If you find yourselves in Emily and Aiden’s shoes, here are some of the things they did that were essential to healing. First, they got help. Aiden reached out first to a trusted Christian friend who proved invaluable in the process. Emily reached out to a professional. That was a big step in the right direction by getting someone who understood what it would take to heal this marriage. Second, in their own way they both grieved the loss of the marriage they once had together. This had to happen before a new marriage could be built. Third, they both made important life changes.  God became first every day and then second came each other. God first. Spouse second. I promise it works! They carved out time alone together every day. At the right time they began date nights and nothing got in the way of these times together. Finally, they prayed. It was difficult and awkward at first but became easier and more frequent as time passed.  

Just wanting a marriage to heal is not enough. It takes time and work and of course, God. I promise you this though – it will be worth it. Without a doubt, it will be worth it.

Today’s Challenge: Make a commitment to take time to spend talking with each other each day undistracted by anything else. 

Going Deeper:

1. Dr. Kim shares that being patient is vital to saving your marriage when infidelity has occurred. Pray and ask God to help you be patient as you walk through the process of healing and rebuilding trust in your marriage. 

2. What needs to change in order for you to build a marriage that you can both value? 

3. Pray and ask God to heal your marriage and help you work towards building an awesome marriage. 

from Infidelity – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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The Healing Process: Rebuilding Trust

‘Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. ‘ Romans 14:12(NLT)

‘Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. ‘ Galatians 6:1-2(NLT)

‘Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. ‘ Acts of the Apostles 3:19(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

About three weeks after I saw Emily the first time, she and Aiden sat in my office together. Emily was not making any promises but she was willing to listen and give the marriage a chance. Aiden was scared and it was written all over his face. He wanted to make this marriage heal and then grow into something better than either of them could imagine. I wanted that for them too and I knew it was what God wanted. I also knew that without God they didn’t have a chance.

Emily had a lot of questions for Aiden and I cautioned her before we proceeded. Often in trying to make sense of something that will never make sense, we ask questions and get way more information than we need. Sometimes this information puts images in our mind that are very difficult to get rid of. Emily seemed to understand and we proceeded cautiously with her questions.  

Aiden had already taken some important steps. He shut down all of his social media accounts. He gave Emily all of his passwords to everything. He put a GPS tracker on his car and Emily could see where he was 24/7. He called her when he got to work and when he left. If he was making a stop out of the ordinary, Emily knew about it ahead of time. Aiden’s friend that helped him after the affair asked him how long he intended to do all of this accountability stuff for Emily. Aiden said, “For the rest of my life.” 

One of the biggest changes happened as Aiden prayed with Emily every day. It was a few months before she responded but as she saw Aiden’s heart and what God was doing in his life, she began to join Aiden in prayer.

I met with them for about two years. There were some really rough days and nights along the way. Today they are on their way to a marriage truly better than before. Trust is now a word that Emily uses when referring to Aiden. Trust is a gift to be handled carefully and cherished in a marriage.

Today’s Challenge: Dr. Kim shares that there is no shortcut to rebuilding trust in a marriage. Make a commitment together to work as hard as you can to rebuild the trust in your marriage. Take time to pray together for your marriage. Lean into God, and ask him to work a miracle in your marriage. 

Going Deeper:

1. Dr. Kim shares that rebuilding trust after an affair takes both spouses’ efforts. If you are the offending spouse, what can you do to show your spouse that you will be honest and consistent enough to trust again? 

2. If you are the offending spouse, how can you be patient with your spouse as they accept these changes? What can you do to show you are understanding of the time it takes as you wait for the trust to be rebuilt? 

3. If you are the offending spouse, take time this week to ask your spouse what you can do to help rebuild the trust. 

4. If you are the offending spouse take these practical steps toward rebuilding trust: repent, show remorse, be accountable with your time, make your life an open book to your spouse, cut off all contact with the person you had an affair with, stay at the comfort level of your spouse, find someone to be accountable to besides just your spouse, and pray. 

from Infidelity – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Infidelity: ZZ

The Healing Process: Forgiveness

‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘ Colossians 3:13(NLT)

‘Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.’ Proverbs 19:11(NLT)

‘Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Emily sat across from me in my office. Twenty-four hours earlier she learned that her husband, Aiden, had been lying to her for eight months as he covered up an affair.  Devastated doesn’t really do justice to what I saw in her. As she told me the story, she cried, her voice trembled, and her body shook. It was hard to watch. Five years earlier I stood with Aiden and Emily as they recited their vows and then I pronounced them husband and wife. Now those hopes and dreams were shattered by lies, deceit, and a two-month affair.  

Emily suspected something was wrong with Aiden, but not this. Aiden’s affair began at work with a “friend of a friend.” He told Emily it lasted two months and that he ended it on his own. He never planned on telling her about it when he confessed to a friend in his small group a few months earlier. Meeting each week, his friend walked him through a process of healing with God. Eventually Aiden knew to have the marriage God wanted for them that Emily had to know the truth. They could not have a marriage built on lies.  

Emily looked at me with red eyes and said, “I don’t think I can ever forgive him. He asked me to and says he will do anything to make our marriage work but I just don’t know.”  

If a marriage is to heal, forgiveness has to be a part. Forgiveness scared Emily. “What if he did it again? What if he is not really sorry?” I could not answer those questions but I did tell her this. “If there is a chance for this to work, forgiveness has to be given. It may take time and it may be a process but that is what God tells us we need to do.” 

Whether Aiden and Emily’s marriage made it is not the point today. The point is that over time she forgave him. Forgiveness helped Aiden but it set Emily free. Her obedience to do something really difficult that God asked her to do changed Emily forever. It is part of God’s plan. Forgiveness is an essential part of every intimate relationship.

Today’s Challenge:  Dr. Kim shares that forgiveness begins the healing process. Why do you think forgiveness is a process and not just a simple step you take? 

Going Deeper:

1. Hatred, anger, and bitterness can really hurt us. Write down three reasons why forgiveness is healing.

2. Dr. Kim shares that whether or not the marriage is saved, forgiveness is still important because it frees you from anger and emotional bondage. How do you see this ringing true in your life? 

3. If you have been affected by infidelity, pray and ask God to help you work towards the goal of forgiveness and to get on the path of healing. 

from Infidelity – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Honesty

‘The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.’ Proverbs 12:22(NLT)

‘Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. ‘ James 5:16(NLT)

‘Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord .” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude’ Psalms 32:5(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

If we wrote a list of “essentials” for an Awesome Marriage, honesty would be on that list. Sometimes I think we take honesty for granted. It should be a given in a marriage.  No one stands before their intended spouse, pastor, and a lot of friends and family on their wedding day and says they plan to lie to their spouse “till death do us part.” That would be ridiculous. Yet, how often do the lies begin somewhere down the road of marriage? Unfortunately, more times than we can count. The question is, why?  Why do we step across an invisible line that takes our marriage from one built on trust and complete honesty to one of devastation? No one seems to realize how valuable trust is in a marriage until they lose it and try to build it back.  

We can do a good job of fooling ourselves into thinking that this one little lie is not going to hurt anyone. No one will ever know. The next time that line is a lot easier to cross. Each time we cross it we are digging a bigger grave for our marriage. The first time we cross the line may have nothing to do with infidelity, but the significance of crossing that line just one time is huge. Its effects continue to show up in our marriage after a lot more lies about a lot more things. We have laid a foundation of deceit in our marriage and left the door to infidelity wide open.

The truth is that every lie causes damage. One little lie can wreak havoc in a marriage.  Even if your spouse does not find out, you know, God knows, and you have stepped outside of His plan for your life and for your marriage.  

If you have built a foundation of honesty in your marriage, stand on it with God’s help day after day the rest of your life. If you have broken trust, make a commitment to be totally and completely honest from this day forward to God, to yourself, and to your spouse. It is a big step toward building an Awesome Marriage.

Today’s Challenge:  If an affair has taken place in your marriage, we urge you to seek help in working through it in order to save your marriage. Take time this week to find a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend to help you walk through this and work towards saving your marriage. The wise counsel of a third party can be very helpful. 

Going Deeper:

1. Dr. Kim shares that when an affair has happened it is vital that the offending spouse be honest about what happened. If infidelity has occurred in your marriage, seek help from someone and create a safe place where the offending spouse can be honest about what happened. 

2. When an affair takes place the spouse that was cheated on often wants to know every detail of the affair, but that’s not necessarily the wisest thing. If you have been cheated on ask yourself, “What is beneficial for me to know moving forward? What is fruitful? What details do I need to know so I can trust my spouse again? What details do I not need to know because they would be too hurtful to hear and of no benefit for the relationship?”

3. Dr. Kim shares that if you have trust in your marriage, cherish it. Think of a special way to let your spouse know you are grateful that you can trust them. 

4. If trust has been broken, work as hard as you can to rebuild it. What steps do you need to take this week towards rebuilding the trust in your marriage? 

from Infidelity – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Infidelity: ZZ

Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love – Day 7

‘My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace.’ Proverbs 3:21-22(NLT)

‘Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.’ Matthew 5:37(NLT)

It may sound romantic to give our hearts to a man, but the Bible never tells us to give our hearts to a person. When we give all of our hearts to someone else, we run the risk of making them an idol. Instead, we’re kept safe when we give our hearts to God and our love to others. 

When we give our hearts away our emotions follow. Often this blind trust convinces us that there’s no need to set boundaries or guard our hearts. Boundaries, however, not only protect us from bitterness that comes when others violate our wishes, but they also protect the relationship by creating an atmosphere where mutual respect can flourish.

Maybe you’ve thought boundaries were selfish. That your priorities were to make your partner happy and ignore your own needs. Maybe you thought it was his job to protect your heart, not yours. That if he loved you, there was no need to set boundaries. Then what did you do if you felt mistreated? Taken advantage of? Lied to? You probably felt angry and anger has to come out somehow. 

If you have a habit of ignoring your instincts or denying your emotions, your capacity to set healthy boundaries will be compromised. If that’s you and you realize that you’ve allowed men to take advantage of you, it might make you mad at yourself for tolerating unacceptable behavior. That’s okay. Some anger is justified and can make you aware of the need for change. Just don’t stay angry. Allow righteous anger to motivate you to make healthy changes, and then forgive yourself and move on. 

Some women have grown up with the twisted notion that submission and surrender obligate them to say yes. That somehow it’s godlier to be agreeable. Saying no, however, is a spiritual precept. Why? Because when we say yes when we really mean no, we have to clean up the mess of frustration and potential bitterness left behind. We are supposed to let our yes be yes and our no be no. The good news is that we don’t have to allow others to trespass against us. The Bible says, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor,” not “Thou shalt please thy neighbor.”

If you’ve been mistreated, let me assure you: God is not happy. You didn’t deserve it. And you don’t have to continue to allow it. Boundaries are not only biblical, they’re necessary for your freedom and the health of your relationships. Boundaries help you close the door on bitterness so your soul can heal from the wounds of toxic love and walk in the freedom and strength of forgiveness. 

It’s time to release the shackles of your past. It’s time for you to be free!

from Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love by Christy Johnson

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Infidelity: ZZ

Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love – Day 6

‘And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ‘ Philippians 4:8(NLT)

‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:2(NLT)

‘throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.’ Ephesians 4:22-24(NLT)

Did your parents ever tell you to watch your mouth? As a young girl, whenever I complained my mother’s voice rose a few octaves as she warned, “Christine, don’t give me any lip! You’d better watch your mouth!”

I knew it was time to shape up when she used my full name.

My mom wasn’t a Bible student, but if she had been, she’d have realized she was teaching me a spiritual principle. 

Before a word is formed on our tongue, it’s first a thought in our mind. Believe it or not, we get to choose what thoughts we allow ourselves to think about. You’ve no doubt heard the saying, you are what you eat. The same is true with your thoughts: you are what you think.

Remember the castle illustration I used in the fifth devotional when I asked you to think of your soul as a castle? Your mind is like the door to your palace. Only you can decide what thoughts or meditations you allow inside. You also decide what meditations are not allowed to come in. 

When negative thoughts try to invade your castle and influence your emotions, you have the responsibility to kick them out. If a robber rang your doorbell and asked if he could come in and steal all of your valuables, you’d slam the door in his face, bolt it shut, and call 911. And yet when harmful thoughts try to rob our valuable peace, we often open the door and welcome them in. We may even offer them coffee and say, “Sit down for a while, and let’s talk.”

I have a speakeasy on the front door of my house—a small-latched opening that allows me to talk to a person ringing the bell without opening the door. It’s very useful because I can keep the door shut and locked while I decide if I want to allow the person to come in. Just because someone rings the doorbell doesn’t obligate me to welcome them inside. That’s the way we should deal with our thoughts. 

Satan’s battleground is your mind. His brand of deception combines a lethal lie with a dash of truth. That way, a lie doesn’t really sound like a lie. A lure of self-pity seems reasonable. The bait of bitterness seems justified. He makes pride seem like confidence and insecurity seem like humility. The list goes on. He twists and tweaks the truth, but if he can penetrate your brain, he can pollute your thought life. 

Make a choice daily to free your mind of toxic thinking. Refuse to entertain thoughts that contradict what God’s word says about you!  

Thoughts to Consider: 

What toxic thoughts and lies do you need to replace?

Say a prayer and ask the Lord to help you renew your mind with His truth. 

from Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love by Christy Johnson

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Infidelity: ZZ

Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love – Day 5

‘So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! ‘ Hebrews 10:35(NLT)

‘Meanwhile, my enemies lay traps to kill me. Those who wish me harm make plans to ruin me. All day long they plan their treachery.’ Psalms 38:12(NLT)

‘I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways.’ Psalms 85:8(NLT)

Growing up as an energetic chatty young girl, I must have driven my dad crazy. I pestered him with a million questions. With lots and lots of stories. If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times. After taking a long puff of his Swisher Sweet cigar, a cloud of smoke and frustration would billow out together. “Chrissie, hurry up! Get to the point. You talk too much.”

My father didn’t mean to discourage me, but the enemy of my soul did. He wanted to destroy my confidence. 

I can just imagine his strategy: Hmmm. A girl who thinks she has a voice? I’d better put a stop to that. And who better to use to squash my heart than someone I loved—my father.

When my dad told me I talked too much, I started to believe him. And the enemy added some flavorful accusations to my father’s impatience. Accusations like:

You have nothing important to say. 

You’d better keep your mouth shut. 

Nobody wants to hear your opinion because you’re unworthy and insignificant.

By the time I was in junior high, the energetic chatty girl was quiet. Reserved. Timid. Insecure. For a while at least, it looked like I was defeated. I learned to shut up before I ever had a chance to speak up. 

The scoundrel starts with lies that begin at an early age. He knows that if he can convince us when we’re young that we’re worthless, we’ll carry those thoughts into adulthood and into our relationships. Once the lies are embedded in our thoughts, we accept them as truth. Satan’s aim is to make us weak and vulnerable and strangle us in bitterness. 

We’ll feel comfortable with insults because they’re familiar to us. They don’t just live on the lips of people we love; they live in our heads. 

For a while, the enemy may win. But once we unravel his plan, the tables turn! I’m glad I’m onto him now. Once I figured out his strategy, I was able to install security in place to guard my castle. Now, the energetic chatty young girl is back. But this time…

I’m older and wiser. 

I’m strong and free. 

And you can be free, too! 

from Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love by Christy Johnson

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Infidelity: ZZ

Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love – Day 4

‘When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.’ Proverbs 29:18(NLT)

‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Proverbs 4:23(NLT)

‘For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.’ Ephesians 6:12(NLT)

Can you imagine a house without windows? Sunshine would never have a chance to dance through your curtains in the morning and kiss you hello. Gentle breezes would never be able to deliver fresh air. And without a way to look outside, how would you ever know if someone was trying to get in? 

Every house needs a way to look outside. Windows give us access to what is going on around us. Windows allow us to see beyond the perimeter of our property. But we also have to know when to keep them locked to protect ourselves against unwelcome intruders. 

Since you are the dwelling place of God, I’d like you to think of your soul as a castle. You’re the princess, but you have an enemy—the devil, and he’s out to kill. From the day you were born he studies you. He wants to find out where you’re weak and vulnerable in order to destroy your future. He’s afraid that you might find out how powerful you are. Satan attacks in infancy what he fears in maturity.

The plan he creates to crush you is tailor-made for you. He knows what makes you mad and he knows the best way to accomplish his goal. 

Bank robbers study blueprints to plan their robbery. Military strategists create detailed plans to infiltrate their enemy’s property. Football coaches study their opponents. They watch videos and frame-by-frame in slow motion, they develop a game plan to overpower their rival. 

And guess what? You’re no different. The enemy hates you. If you don’t know where you’re vulnerable, how will you be able to protect yourself? How will you guard the castle of your soul from offenses created to consume you? 

The transgressions Satan crafts for your friend may not anger you. The way he invades her fortress may be different than the scheme he’s created to assault you. That’s because we all have unique vulnerabilities based on our personalities, callings, maturity, and life experiences. 

The enemy loves it when we have no clue how he keeps getting inside. He likes naïve princesses with unguarded castles. If you can’t see where the enemy slitters in, he’ll keep coming back in the same way. He won’t stop until his plot no longer works. You’ve got to be smarter than he is. 

We all have weaknesses, but it’s foolish to leave them unguarded. The enemy loves it when we’re blind to the ways he tries to keep us bound in bitterness. It’s time to put an end to his plan!

Take a moment to reflect on what most triggers your anger. Then ask the Lord how you can protect yourself against the enemy’s plot to destroy your soul and steal your joy. 

from Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic Love by Christy Johnson