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Devotion for Women ZZ

Exercise and Prayer

‘So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.’ 2 Corinthians 3:18(NLT)

Go outside in the sun or in a bright place near a window. Close your eyes. Lean back and feel the light on your face. Stay there for a few moments, eyes closed, shoulders relaxed. Let the light illuminate your face and touch your eyelids. Imagine God as light. Let the light cover you. Think about God’s love blanketing you. Safe. Radiant. Warm. Beautiful. 

Father, so many of your daughters are struggling. They want more of you and ache for your light to shine—in their marriages and in their hearts. I need you too, God. I can’t figure out how to live well without your guidance. I don’t have wisdom on my own. I can’t fix all my mistakes. Help me trust and seek you with my whole heart. I believe your light floods the dark places of my heart and life. You bring hope, love, and joy. Flood my heart and life with your light. When I feel disillusioned, help me know your never-changing truth. Help me seek you and see you. I surrender all of me to your light. I am yours. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from In the Bright Place: Wisdom for Marriage

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Devotion for Women ZZ

Darkness Cannot Stand Against the Light

‘The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine.’ Isaiah 9:2(NLT)

The light is large enough to cover everything, each sliver of darkness that wants to remain. No darkness stays dark. No problem stays the same when the light touches it. Darkness cannot stand against the light. It has never overcome it.

I stay here with you, watching light come in. I stay here with you, helping you desire light. I stay here with you, teaching you what light feels like on the skin, on the face, how it reaches every dark place— each corner of this room, each corner of your heart.

Tell me where you want the light to shine. Ask me how you can open yourself up to it. Take my light in you and raise it high. In my name, nothing can withstand it. 

I have given you the light, and I hold you in it, and you are filled with it, and you are not the same as you were before. All who see you and hear you and stay with you are responding to my light in you. 

That light, daughter, lets nothing stay the same.

from In the Bright Place: Wisdom for Marriage

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Devotion for Women ZZ

You Are Not Naïve or Disillusioned

‘For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.’ 2 Corinthians 4:6(NLT)

Real life here is better than anything you could dream up on your own. It is hard and beautiful, all in one. You weren’t naïve when you believed love would lead. You did not have an incorrect view of marriage, only an incomplete one. The romance you yearn for is a true desire. It is good. I’ve placed within you the desire to be wanted, seen, pursued. It’s how I’ve made you. The hard part is that love requires the dying to self. 

Dying, you see, is never easy. 

It is strange, I know, that love begins with death; but you know, as you look to my Son, that this is true).

Don’t give up on romance. Don’t give up on love leading. See that window there? It will not be night forever. See that hint of gold shining through? The sun can’t help but come in. You know this: You can’t close out light, child. You can ignore it. You can run. But it will shine all the same. You see it by knowing it’s there, even if you only feel darkness around you.

from In the Bright Place: Wisdom for Marriage

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Devotion for Women ZZ

I Stay Here with You

‘Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”’ John 8:12(NLT)

My daughter, I will stay here with you. I will stay here as long as it takes. Holding you, drawing you close to me, is what I love to do most. I’m not going anywhere. I love sitting here, too, you know. I love having you close. I will stay here with you. I will never leave you, if you want me to stay. I love comforting you. I love reminding you how precious you are to me. I stay here with you, listening to the rise and fall of our chests. It’s nice here, you know. You with me.

from In the Bright Place: Wisdom for Marriage

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Devotion for Women ZZ

In the Bright Place

‘For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! ‘ Ephesians 5:8(NLT)

We keep the wedding photos in an album tucked into the alcove underneath the stairs. It’s next to the flower vases I almost never use, old mason jars and napkin rings stacked in the far corner. The album’s pages are stiff, the cover’s leather soft, worn from years of fingers. 

That young girl, barely twenty-two, believed love would lead. She believed love would lead every future decision she would make. She believed the details would figure themselves out. 

Jesus, that girl didn’t know what she didn’t know. I think about her innocence; she believed she was going to be immune to tough times. Her story, of course, would be a happy one. It never dawned on her she would face challenges in her marriage.

Jesus, that girl of yours was bright and sweet but didn’t know you like I know you now. Those dark moments I didn’t see coming? That’s how I found you. That’s how I learned you stand steadfast. 

I want your kind of real life. I want to choose love here—even if it is more work than I ever thought.

So give me wisdom, Jesus. Let me see the path. Set my feet upon it. Let me hear your voice: This is the way. Walk in it. I will receive your wisdom and stay here with you, your arms wrapped fast around me, never letting go.

from In the Bright Place: Wisdom for Marriage

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Marriage is hard: we’re stubborn

‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘ Colossians 3:13(NLT)

Apologizing is hard work. You know what else is hard? Forgiving an apologizing spouse.

Why? Why should that be hard? Well, for one, it’s easy to suspect that the apology isn’t sincere (“I’m sorry.” “You are not!”). For another, when this isn’t the first argument on a certain misbehavior, the wounded party sees a trend and fears it will continue indefinitely. Am I enabling more of this bad behavior? For another, staying angry gives you emotional leverage. For another, staying wounded gives you the moral high ground in future negotiations. Your injury is an asset–why would you give away this form of capital?

Holding onto anger, however, poisons your soul. It marinates your spirit in toxins that will affect everything else in your life and especially in this most important of all your human relationships. Holding anger blinds you to your spouse’s gifts and values for your life and keeps you from seeing his or her efforts to make things better.

There’s a better way. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). What breaks you out of these anger ruts is the sweet remembrance of the massive debt of ours that our Lord Jesus forgave. If we show a bitter and unforgiving spirit to our spouse, we are daring God to do the same to us.

Let it go.

from Marriage Is Hard

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Marriage is hard: we’re different

‘In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. ‘ Romans 12:6(NLT)

One of you is a neat freak, and the other doesn’t worry much about a few socks on the floor here and there. One of you is a saver; one is a spender. One is always on time; the other is much more relaxed about the clock. One of you loves noise and energy and parties, and the other loves quiet time at home. One of you is creative and passionate, which is nice, but also prone to leave a trail of debris behind, which drives the other crazy.

Just as Felix and Oscar argued and battled all the time in “The Odd Couple,” husbands and wives are vulnerable to Satan’s plotting to drive the tip of a crowbar into their differences and use them as a fulcrum to pry them apart. God made us different not to drive each other crazy but to enrich our lives and give us a bigger and wider and more interesting perspective on life. “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” (Romans 12:6).

Manage your differences! Celebrate your differences! Do not allow Satan to manipulate you into arguing over them. How boring your marriage would be if you and your spouse had identical views and habits. Any fool can complain about what you don’t like about another person. It takes a Christian to celebrate the treasure you have in your spouse.

Funny . . . the more you do that, the more your spouse will appreciate you (and your quirks).

from Marriage Is Hard

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Marriage is hard: we’re selfish

‘Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.’ 1 Corinthians 10:24(NLT)

Ever hear one of your friends say, “I have to take care of me for a change.” “It’s my time now.” “I need to be looking out for number one.” Unfortunately the people who say these things don’t mean Jesus Christ. They mean themselves.

Sinners like you and me do not need to go to grad school or subscribe to webinars on how to be selfish. We are born with software already installed and functioning. Our parents (hopefully!) slowly trained us to overcome that selfish streak and learn to share our toys, wait in line, take turns, and listen to the views and stories of others. It is embarrassing how fast those old behaviors come back under stress, and it hurts marriages.

Husbands and wives can drive each other crazy because they don’t notice things that are really important to each other. Both what they do and what they neglect can really hurt. Being self-absorbed comes naturally. Focusing energy and thought on other people’s well-being is learned behavior. It is Christ-behavior: “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:24).

It is a major triumph of the cross when you think first, “What does he or she need?” instead of, “Here’s what I want.” It is part of the magic of the Christian way of life that when you put others first, your needs always get taken care of too. Always.

from Marriage Is Hard

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Marriage is hard: we’re prideful

‘Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. ‘ Romans 12:3(NLT)

Have you ever seen the sappy Ryan O’Neal/Ali MacGraw movie romance entitled “Love Story”? MacGraw played a character who was dying, and at her bedside O’Neal, choking and tearful, said he was sorry. MacGraw then unloaded a line that has done a lot of damage to relationships and marriages everywhere: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Apologizing is hard work. Apologizing and changing your behaviors is even harder, and what makes it so hard is pride. Dating and marriage always to some degree involve each person’s struggling for control. When your behaviors are driven by pride, you want to win every argument, always be right, see difficulties as your partner’s fault, bring up your partner’s admitted failures of the past, and explain away or deny your own sins and weaknesses.

You need other people’s input and critique to know how you sound, how you look, how your actions affect other people. In humility realize that you aren’t quite as brilliant and infallible as you think you are: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you” (Romans 12:3).

When your spouse has an issue with something you’ve said or done, listen twice and think three times before you say anything. It may just be that the best thing you can say is, “I’m sorry.”

from Marriage Is Hard

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Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

RED FLAGS

‘Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.’ 2 Timothy 2:22(NLT)

‘O Lord , if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone!’ Jeremiah 17:14(NLT)

‘Let all that I am praise the Lord ; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!’ Psalms 103:2-5(NLT)

Devotional Content:

So what happens if everything seems to match up for several months and then suddenly you notice some red flags? If you are seeing red flags in your relationship, they need to be dealt with. Even if your relationship seemed destined for marriage, if you see red flags you should not ignore them.

I recommend that couples date for at least a year before entering into marriage. There is nothing magical about the one-year rule, but there is something to be said about going through one full year of life together dating before going into marriage. It allows you to get past the infatuation that a new relationship has and settle into a resemblance of normal reality.

Time in a relationship before marriage provides opportunity for the red flags to pop up.

Red flags should not be ignored. They have to be dealt with, even if it means the death of the relationship. It is far better to end a relationship on this side of the altar than on the other side. Ending a relationship is painful, but not nearly as painful as divorce.

Today’s Challenge:

Are your friends and family in support of your relationship? If not, why not?

Going Deeper:

Take a time-out to spend time looking honestly at your relationship. Pray and ask God to help you see if there are any red flags in your relationship. Remember that red flags have to be dealt with and that ending a relationship now is easier, and less hurtful, than a marriage ending in divorce.

from Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling