Category: Devotion for Men

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The Day I Got Tired of Going to Church

‘Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:24-25(NLT)

‘We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.’ 1 John 4:19-21(NLT)

‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.’ Ephesians 4:1-6(NLT)

‘And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”’ Acts of the Apostles 20:35(NLT)

Well, it wasn’t so much a day as it was years of feeling tired, but I did not get down to examining why I felt that way. Finally, one day in 2011, I decided to leave my cell group and my church.

When I stopped attending church, the church came to me. And although my church mates tried to gently encourage me to go for services with them, they didn’t push me beyond what I felt ready to do. They could see I was on my own journey and gave me space to work out my issues. I greatly appreciated that.

Each time we met up, however, I felt God’s presence through the love His people showed me. I felt embraced and accepted by them. Their friendship was a comfort to me, and when they shared their lives and walk with God with me, I experienced what the fellowship of the saints was all about (Hebrews 10:24-25).

On a particular day in 2014, I thought about going back to church. However, I wasn’t sure if I should go back to the same church I’d left, or if I should “start with a clean slate” in another church. As I was pondering on this, I seemed to hear God say, “Did I tell you to leave?” That same afternoon, the Holy Spirit convicted me to write an email to my cell group members to apologize for leaving the cell group abruptly and to initiate reconciliation with them.

Over the next few months, I slowly settled back into my cell group and church. The cell group welcomed me back and I began to feel more at home with them. I made a commitment in my heart to love and serve them; because they are the family God has called me to, I decided to be a blessing to them. I do this not because I want to earn God’s love, but because knowing He has first loved me enables me to love other–loving others is an expression of my love for Him (1 John 4:19-21). I don’t always do this perfectly, but this is something I have committed to grow in.

I’m understanding more and more that going to church and cell group gives us an opportunity to grasp the greatness of God’s love for us and to mature in our unity and love for one another (Ephesians 4:1-6). But I’ve learned through firsthand experience that it is possible to go to church and not grow in one’s relationship with God and with people. Therefore, rather than merely committing to go to church, let us remember that we are the church. This paradigm enables me to be a blessing to others with a joyful heart. As Jesus Himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). I am blessed by giving to others as well.–Raphael Zhang

from Question Life

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Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Of Love and Marriage: Who Is ‘the One’?

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:21-33(NLT)

Because I am married, I get asked this question by many single friends: “How did you know Jason, your husband, is ‘the one’?”

So, how did I know?

Let me tell you this: I used to ask the same question. I strongly held the belief that God was preparing one guy for me. I was on a quest to find this guy. But I was also plagued with this question, “How do I know who he is?”

I wrestled with this question for a long time wondering how on earth will I ever know if the guy in front of me was the one I was supposed to marry. What kind of feeling was I supposed to have? What’s the sign I should look out for?

In trying to figure this out, I came face to face with how flawed my ideas of love and marriage were. I realized: There is no “the one.”

God never gave specific details in the Bible of what that person would look like. I believe that if you are in tune with God and walking in His path, He will lead you to several possible people who can be your spouse. Yes, that’s right. Several. Not one, but many.

Any guy or girl who is a true follower of Jesus can be your husband or wife because you already have Him as the common foundation to build your relationship on. What qualifies him or her to be your spouse is his or her real relationship with Jesus. But how that may look like differs from individual to individual.

Then God wants you to make a choice. You ask God if he or she is “the one” for you, while God is asking you if he or she is the one for you. That’s one of the beauty of being His child: He gave you the freedom to make choices. He is not a dictator who issues commands and you simply follow. God gave you the capacity to reason and to want. And as you walk with Him closely, you begin to reason along the lines of His will and to desire what He wants. So I dare say: Choose someone. Choose to love and to promise love. Don’t let the weight of finding “the one” overwhelm you into living a life of fear.

I encourage you to pray for a spouse, to ask God for wisdom as you make a decision. He desires for you–for us–to do that. But our more urgent prayer should be that we wholly comprehend that marriage is not about the person we marry or about the fulfillment of our happiness (not that God doesn’t want us to be happy). Marriage is, ultimately, about what God wants to do in our lives that we might be a reflection of His glory. Marriage is about God displaying His unrelenting love for us and for the church (Ephesians 5:21-33).–Kezia Lewis

from Question Life

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Communication In Marriage – Day 3

‘Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.’ Proverbs 16:24(NLT)

Communicating well during conflict also means never to “fight below the belt.” Fighting below the belt includes anything that would be considered hurtful to the other person’s emotional and psychological center. 

It may come through name calling, demeaning words, speaking with the intent to hurt concerning the other person’s family, threatening divorce, swearing, or bringing up the other person’s weaknesses or failures.

These types of direction in a couples’ communication should never take place. If they do, the conversation needs to come to an end until a healthy style of communication can be applied. Proverbs 16:24 reminds us, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

A lack of healthy communication during conflict can kill the affection and intimacy in a marriage by removing the safe environment needed for honesty and vulnerability. Harsh words lead to immediate thoughts such as, How dare she say that? or How dare he say that? Spiteful words force couples to take sides. 

Remember, you are ultimately on the same side. When you practice healthy communication during conflict, you will create an atmosphere for greater intimacy and love to flourish. 

from Communication In Marriage by Heather Hair

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Communication In Marriage – Day 2

‘The greatest among you must be a servant. ‘ Matthew 23:11(NLT)

Communication During Conflict

Along with a healthy, romantic love, married couples should also make an effort to learn how to properly communicate during conflict. Every relationship of ongoing contact will experience conflict of some kind. That’s a given. How we handle that conflict greatly affects the intimacy, or vulnerability, we offer each other following it. Thus, inept conflict skills can distance relationships creating more friction and resentment.

No one comes out of the womb ready and able to handle conflict perfectly. Communicating well during conflict is a learned trait. Why? We are naturally selfish. 

A healthy style of conflict management comes when we learn to elevate the other person to a higher level than our own, and vice versa. It takes practice and a willingness to concede. 

It also takes an emotional maturity level that filters actions through a grid of grace. Far too often, spouses function in the formal operational mode and, as a result, act out of the concrete judgment determinations. In that mode, thoughts and emotions remain on immediate and visual stimuli. When a married couple hasn’t matured beyond this level of interaction, it can lead to conflict. 

For example, when the wife sees that the dishes are still on the table hours after her husband’s breakfast, she may become angry. She sees dirty dishes and immediately equates them with laziness and apathy on his part. Afterall, she notices that he has plenty of energy to wash his car for the second time that week. She might even begin to feel offended that her husband would expect her to clear them. 

What she does not see is the depth of her own expectations clashing with those of her husband. Expectations come from a variety of sources: family, peers, television, etc. Nor does she recognize this as an opportunity to develop spiritual maturity by cultivating the virtues of service and grace. It is also an opportunity for her to practice communication skills with him in a way that is rooted in love.

Yet if she chooses instead to leave the dishes on the table while complaining instead, this will give occasion for his frustrations  to rise with her as well. He may later erupt in anger. Or she may clear them all the while grumbling, or perhaps simply noting his apparent offense and saving it for ammunition later.

No one enjoys feeling like a servant, particularly to a spouse. But Christ reminds us in the book of Matthew that, “The greatest among you will be your servant.” Cultivating a spiritual mindset about conflict is the first step to communicating rightly in scenarios of marital conflict. It removes the emotional attachment to unhealthy desires and leaves space for the couple to talk about the root that may be causing the conflict, rather than the fruit.

from Communication In Marriage by Heather Hair

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Communication In Marriage – Day 1

‘You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace.’ Song of Songs 4:9(NLT)

The key to any good marriage is communication. 

Marriage requires communicating about when we are happy, sad, disappointed, excited, as well as a myriad of other emotions. Two key areas that can be adversely affected by a lack of attention, or by past sins, are romantic communication and communication during conflict.

 Romantic Communication

Romantic communication is essential in cultivating a healthy and vital marriage relationship. During the dating stage, much energy is devoted to this kind of love (eros – romantic love.) However, if a couple marries on the foundation of an intimacy that may include several past partners or that may be rooted in physical contact alone, new external stresses and demands override the surface level and competing feelings of eros within each partner. Then when children are added, time demands that come from parenting may also limit what remaining resources were available for developing eros. 

When a marriage relationship lacks healthy romantic communication, it is important to revisit this area in a way that both supports and honors each partner.

Remember, romance involves capturing the attention of the other and not demanding it. Song of Solomon 4:9 states it this way in the New Living Translation, 

“You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace.”

If you have found romance to be dwindling in your relationship, seek to communicate in ways other than words. Seek to communicate through non-verbal methods such that will capture your partner’s focus and heart. Communication doesn’t always have to mean a sit-down conversation. Oftentimes it involves a smile, wink, act of service, attractive outfit or any flirtatious manner you choose to interact with your spouse. Just because you are married doesn’t mean the flirting has come to an end. Relight the flame and enjoy each other completely. 

from Communication In Marriage by Heather Hair

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Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Celebration

‘Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything. The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.’ Proverbs 11:24-25(NLT)

‘“The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’’ Matthew 25:21(NLT)

‘Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”’ Luke 6:38(NLT)

Devotional Content:

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Mike and Lisa this question: “What do you celebrate when it comes to stewardship?”

This has been a pretty tough reading plan. I hope you have been challenged. I pray it will help put you in a positive direction with your finances and keep you from being another “our finances ruined our marriage” couple. Dealing with money God’s way is countercultural. It’s just like a lot of things God says are best for us. We have a choice:  God’s way or the world’s way. One is a temporary view of money and the other is eternal. Which will you choose?

The joy of choosing God’s way comes in many forms. Mike and Lisa talk of the fun of paying off a car. There is excitement in finally becoming debt free. Yet, to me, the best of all these comes when through our faithfulness as managers of God’s money, we have extra and can use it to help someone in need. That is truly cause for celebration. It’s like it all finally makes sense. This is God’s plan. This is merging money and God. It is becoming one together with money. It is a “key to lasting love.”

Today’s Challenge: 

As you look back on this reading plan, what has changed about you, your marriage, and money? Are you taking steps toward oneness? Have you mapped out a plan together?

Going Deeper:

Begin thinking about ways to help others when you have extra. Then pray for God to lead you into these opportunities!

from Mammon And God: Money And Spirituality by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Division

‘Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.’ Proverbs 13:11(NLT)

‘Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. ‘ Colossians 4:2(NLT)

‘For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.
Paul’s Final Instructions
But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses. ‘ 1 Timothy 6:10-12(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Mike and Lisa this question, “What is step one in overcoming division with money?”

Separation in any area of marriage is not good. You cannot work on your sex life if you consistently sleep in separate bedrooms. You cannot grow together spiritually without taking time to connect spiritually. The same is true with money. I think separation with money sets you up for problems. It goes against the principle we talked about earlier in this plan of managing the money together.  

Do you have to both operate out of the same bank account? I guess not, but why would you not? Nancy and I have always had one bank account for the two of us. We both have access to the money. We both know what is in the account and what is coming out. I know some of you who know our story are thinking, “You guys married young and never really established your own accounts with your own money.” You are right.  Maybe it was easier for us to do that. That does not change the fact that it has worked well for us, and in all of these years of marriage, we never considered doing it differently.

I believe that God wants married couples to become one in every area of life, and that includes our money. I have counseled a lot of couples where money is a problem. If they are separated in their money, that is usually a big part of the problem. That does not mean that a couple with one bank account will not have money problems, but it does mean that they are in it together.  

For some of you this is a foreign subject. You may have been hurt financially in a previous relationship. There may be trust issues centered on money in your current marriage. I get that. I would just ask that you begin praying about being one in your money and see where God leads you. It may take time – a lot of baby steps, Christian counseling, and consultation with a financial planner – but I promise you, it will all be worth it!

Today’s Challenge: 

If you are divided in any way with your finances, begin seeking God’s wisdom together and follow His lead. Take time to understand each other’s past with handling money.

Going Deeper:

Set aside time to begin talking about long term financial goals for your marriage. Once you have them in place, make a plan for reaching them.

from Mammon And God: Money And Spirituality by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Getting on the Same Page

‘Commit your actions to the Lord , and your plans will succeed.’ Proverbs 16:3(NLT)

‘“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? ‘ Luke 14:28(NLT)

‘So look at Apollos and me as mere servants of Christ who have been put in charge of explaining God’s mysteries. Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful. ‘ 1 Corinthians 4:1-2(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Mike and Lisa this question, “What does it look like for the two of you to work together when it comes to money?”

Think about how great your marriage would be if you were together on the same page with every area of your marriage. For most of us that may never happen. We all have our differences. Embracing and working through our differences is a big part of growing a marriage, but what if we were on the same page with money? 

To me this is the natural progression as you have the same money mindset and you see money as a gift from God. Now you can decide how you two can work together when it comes to money. I am a long, long way from being a financial genius. I have made a ton of mistakes. I still make them. What I have learned is that Nancy and I do money a lot better when we have a map. That map is our budget. It helps us know what we have and where we are spending it. It makes financial adjustments easier. We know if at the end of the month we need more or we have more. Whichever way it goes, we have the information we need to make decisions and to go to God in prayer. We can decide where to cut expenses or how to save or spend the extra we have.

Praying about our finances as a couple is like everything else we pray about. It unites us and God shows up. We don’t fight about money because we have a plan and that plan unites us. What can the two of you do to begin to work together with your money?

Today’s Challenge: 

Agree to start a budget together. We will help. Just click here to receive our Awesome Marriage budget form that you can print and fill out together.  

Going Deeper:

Since money is often a delicate subject, pray together for God to grow you in this area every day and as you begin to do money His way.

from Mammon And God: Money And Spirituality by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Money and Spirituality

‘“But if there are any poor Israelites in your towns when you arrive in the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hard-hearted or tightfisted toward them. Instead, be generous and lend them whatever they need. ‘ Deuteronomy 15:7-8(NLT)

‘“O my people, listen as I speak. Here are my charges against you, O Israel: I am God, your God! I have no complaint about your sacrifices or the burnt offerings you constantly offer. But I do not need the bulls from your barns or the goats from your pens. For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills. I know every bird on the mountains, and all the animals of the field are mine.’ Psalms 50:7-11(NLT)

‘Blessed are those who are generous, because they feed the poor.’ Proverbs 22:9(NLT)

‘God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. ‘ 1 Peter 4:10(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Mike and Lisa this question: “How is our money connected to our spirituality?” 

Maybe you never put the words “money” and “spirituality” together. We tend to think of money as “of the world” but we relate spirituality to God and our relationship with Him. What happens when we put them together? I think we are taking the first step towards viewing money as God wants us to view it.  

If everything is God’s, so is money. So is our money. That’s where things get tough. We want to keep our money out of our relationship with God. After all, we earned it and we should be able to do what we want with it. Right? That seems to be the prevailing thought pattern concerning money. The problem with that is two-fold. First, it does not go along with what the Bible says about money. Second, most of us do a pretty poor job with money.  

What if we looked at money through God’s eyes? What if we said it is all His? He is the owner and we are the managers. That means that we let God influence how we manage the money. Mike and Lisa spoke of using money as a tool to grow God’s Kingdom, and making money decisions with that focus. Does that mean we cannot live in a nice house or have a nice car? No. What it does mean is that the house or the car can never be more important in our lives than God. When they are, the whole “God is the owner thing” gets turned upside down. This is what I do know from experience. We have done money both ways. Doing it our way has never worked for us. Doing it God’s way works all the time.

Today’s Challenge: 

Discuss together what it would mean for each of you and your marriage to take up the “God is the owner and you are the managers” plan for your money

Going Deeper: Pray for God’s wisdom with money. Ask Him how you can best serve Him and others as the managers of His money.

from Mammon And God: Money And Spirituality by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Money???

‘Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.’ Deuteronomy 8:18(NLT)

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

‘John replied, “No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven. ‘ John 3:2(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

In today’s video, Dr. Kim asks Mike and Lisa this question: “How do you view money as a couple?” 

When I do premarital counseling with a couple, money is always a topic of conversation because I bring it up. In general most of us fall into one of two categories: spender or saver. How a couple matches up determines the course of the conversation. Just because they are both savers does not give them a pass. They may agree about money in principle, but how does that play out day to day? Two spenders could be in a mountain of debt in just a few months. A couple consisting of a spender and a saver can certainly learn the value of balancing each other but it may be a battle to get there.  

Mike and Lisa refer to money as a “gift from God,” and it is! But God knew we were going to have trouble with money. It is the most mentioned topic in the Bible – over 2,000 verses. There are more verses on money than prayer, faith, marriage, sex or salvation. God gives us the answers. We just have to follow them.

What is your money mindset? What is your spouse’s? In every poll I have ever seen, money is always listed as one of the top three problems in marriage. It can literally make or break a marriage. So whether you are savers, spenders, or one of each, being on the same page with money is essential.

Today’s Challenge:

It is time to have a money conversation. Use these three questions to get the conversation going:

  1. What is your money mindset as a couple?
  2. As a couple, how do you rate yourselves in the way you handle money?
  3. What is your next step after this discussion? (Creating a budget or talking  to a financial planner are a couple of suggestions.)  

Going Deeper: 

Together do a Bible search on the word “money.” What is God saying to you on this topic?

from Mammon And God: Money And Spirituality by Dr. Kim Kimberling