Category: Devotion for Men

‘The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:3(NLT)

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’ Ephesians 5:21(NLT)

‘A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

‘Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:18(NLT)

‘The woman named Folly is brash. She is ignorant and doesn’t know it. She sits in her doorway on the heights overlooking the city. She calls out to men going by who are minding their own business. “Come in with me,” she urges the simple. To those who lack good judgment, she says, “Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!” But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave.’ Proverbs 9:13-18(NLT)

Devotional Content:

It seems to be the consensus that millennials will eventually be the most educated generation ever. You have already won the numbers game by being the largest generation as you passed the “boomers.” By 2020, you will comprise 75 percent of the work force in the United States.* Careers are certainly a part of most millennials’ future.

What about marriage? Millennials seem to be getting married later than previous generations. According to the US Census Bureau, the average age for first marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men. The reasons are many but include the economy, dating apps, the woman’s ability to delay childbearing, and disinterest. Some people want careers to come first—at least for a season.

Those are the facts. If you are reading this plan, you probably are in the minority because you are probably married or at least headed in that direction. Our question is this: Which should come first—career or marriage? If you are married, that decision has already been made. God is clear that the most important relationship for us in this life, next to our relationship with Him, is the marriage relationship. So if you are married, the question is this: How do you have the career you have planned for, went to school for, and dreamed of and at the same time put your marriage where God designed it to be? This is such an important question, and the answer is not simple. Let me give you some bullet points that I think will make a difference:

• If you both work, make sure you do everything you can do to have the same— or very similar—schedules and days off.
• If one works and one stays at home, both still need to focus on building the marriage.
• Never take a promotion or job change without talking it over together.
• Put your marriage first in your workplace. That means if you are expected as a part of your job to have lunch or dinner or to travel with a member of the opposite sex alone, your answer is “I can’t do that.”
• Have pictures of your family in your office. Talk about your spouse in positive ways.
• Don’t confide in someone of the opposite sex at work about anything.
• After work, have a connection time each day after you are both at home. Talk about each other’s day and how you both are doing. Identify things to pray about.
• If you work extra hours, make sure that it is for a season only. If we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, we can usually make it through these times.
• Have a date each week.
• Plan a getaway once or twice a year for just the two of you.
• Connect as much as possible throughout your day.

In Day One of this plan, we talked about what it takes to have the marriage God has designed for you. None of that changes when you talk about careers. Your careers can never overshadow your marriage. God first and spouse/marriage second always trump your career!

* “So How Many Millennials Are There in the US, Anyway?” MarketingCharts.com, May 3, 2016, [http://www.marketingcharts.com/traditional/so-how-many-millennials-are-there-in-the-us-anyway-30401/2]

Today’s Challenge:

Together go through Dr. Kim’s bullet points that will make a difference. How will you implement each of these into your career and your marriage?

Going Deeper:

Each of you write down your top three priorities in your life. Then share your lists and give each other input on this question: “Does your list match how you are living out your life?”

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage

‘For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Those who are taught the word of God should provide for their teachers, sharing all good things with them. Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.’ Galatians 6:5-10(NLT)

‘You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things? ‘ Romans 2:1-3(NLT)

‘“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ Matthew 7:3-5(NLT)

‘People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy. Blessed are those who fear to do wrong, but the stubborn are headed for serious trouble.’ Proverbs 28:13-14(NLT)

‘Honesty guides good people; dishonesty destroys treacherous people.’ Proverbs 11:3(NLT)

Devotional Content:

In many ways culture has tried to put millennials in a box. A list of adjectives is attached to millennials as a whole by some, and people just assume it fits everyone that falls into that group. My online search turned up these words to describe millennials: entitled, egotistical, the selfie or the me generation. Sources say these are the kids who got trophies for walking onto a playing field and are now, as adults, suing the higher learning institutions they graduated from because they cannot get a job. So when we look in that “millennial box,” we see a pretty negative picture.

As a counselor, I have never been fond of labels. I don’t think anyone should be put in a box. But where you find a label, you usually find a grain of truth. So for each of us, it is a call to action to see if we are wearing any of those labels. I really think that most millennials are just trying to figure life out; and Christian millennials are trying to see who God created them to be. The labels don’t work well for us as individuals, and they certainly have no place in a marriage. We get a great example in the first part of the Bible as Adam and Eve eat the fruit God told them not to eat. When God shows up, Adam decides it’s all about him. Instead of taking responsibility, he points his finger at Eve and says, “It’s her fault.” It looks like the “me generation” began with Adam!

So what does taking responsibility as a married millennial mean for you and your spouse? A great place to begin is to stop blaming each other. You are a team, and that means when one of you messes up, you right the ship together instead of pointing your fingers at each other. Then take some of those undesirable adjectives and discuss them together. Be honest with each other. Do they fit? If so, taking responsibility for your thoughts and your actions will be a great step in removing those adjectives.

I see many Christian millennials seeking to affect social change through their jobs and volunteer work. I see great young leaders looking to God for guidance as they seek to make a difference. I see a different “box” for the millennial couples that I know. I see them taking responsibility and seeking God’s plan for their life and marriage, and that is really the bottom line. God has a plan for both of you individually and as a couple, just like he has had for every person and every couple in every other generation. If you are weighed down by the labels in your “box,” being responsible may be as simple as changing “boxes.”

Today’s Challenge:

If you are totally honest with each other, what “negative labels” would fit you today? Together write them down and begin to pray for God to change your heart to His heart.

Going Deeper:

Pick one area of your marriage where you need to take more responsibility. What is your first step as you begin to work on this area?

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage

‘I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”’ John 16:33(NLT)

‘Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”’ Matthew 19:3-9(NLT)

‘“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”’ Matthew 18:19-20(NLT)

‘I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. ‘ 1 Timothy 2:1-2(NLT)

‘For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. ‘ Galatians 5:13(NLT)

Devotional Content:

The challenges for married millennials are many. Not only do you live in a culture that does not put a high value on marriage, but only 26 percent of people between the ages of 18 and 29 are married. In comparison, 48 percent of baby boomers at that stage of life were married.* In addition, many of you came from broken homes, so you never saw healthy, thriving marriages. But don’t let all those statistics get you down. Remember what Jesus told us in John 16:33: “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world” (CSB). Jesus never promised us an easy life. What He did promise is that He would always be there for us. He will always have the answers we seek. Our role is to shut out the shouts of the world so we can listen to Him. How do we stay married? Here are three points that will help you go the distance:

1. Commitment. At one point you stood together at an altar before God and promised to stay married forever. It was a deal between the two of you and God. He will always do His part. You just have to do yours. One of the things that saddens me the most when I hear of a young couple divorcing is that they will never know the joy that comes through persevering through hardship together. Nancy and I were married at 20. There were so many times in those early years that we could have walked away from our marriage, but we didn’t. Staying committed and persevering with God at our side is what built the marriage we have today.
2. Pray together every day for each other and for your marriage. I don’t care if you pray silently or out loud or if you are kneeling, standing, or lying down. Just pray. I promise you that God will show up.
3. Each day see each other as a gift from God. Cherish your gift. Never take each other for granted. Serve each other as Jesus has served you.

Final thoughts: Never give up. Get help if you need it. Fight together for your marriage!

* “Millennials in Adulthood: Detached from Institutions, Networked with Friends,” Pew Research Center, March 7, 2014, [http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/03/07/millennials-in-adulthood/]

Today’s Challenge:

Recommit to each other and to your marriage. Promise to fight together no matter what life brings your way.

Going Deeper:

Begin to pray each day for each other and for your marriage. Keep it simple. Then ask God to help you see your spouse through His eyes every day. Thank Him for the gift He has given you.

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage