Category: Devotion for Men

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

‘“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand#5:30 Greek your right hand.—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.’ Matthew 5:27-30(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

‘Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. ‘ Colossians 3:1-2(NLT)

Devotional Content:

I don’t hear the word purity used very often, especially when it comes to marriage. We can use it a lot before marriage as we talk about premarital sex. We ask, “Do we keep our relationship pure before marriage or not?” Yet, in marriage, the word has lost its impact.

I think purity is just as important—if not more important—in marriage than before, and I think culture backs me up. You can search for the statistics, but the consensus is that around 50 percent of women and 70 percent of men will at some point cheat on their spouse. Every time I see those figures it saddens me. There are a lot of reasons given for infidelity, but easy accessibility through technology is a big one. There are also more women in the workplace, and the stigma of having an affair does not seem to have the effect it once did. Yet, as a counselor, one of the deepest hurts I see comes from infidelity.

Let’s define purity in marriage. Simply put, purity means I keep my eyes only on my spouse. I don’t look lustfully at someone of the opposite sex. I don’t flirt. I don’t have meals alone with someone of the opposite sex. I don’t travel for business alone with someone of the opposite sex. I don’t look at porn. I keep my sexual thoughts on my spouse only. As a couple, we work on our sexual relationship. We talk about what we like and don’t like. We make sex a priority and seek to meet each other’s needs. We are unselfish. We pray every day that our sexual desire would be for our spouse alone. In sports, we say that a good offense is the best defense. That is definitely true in sex. The better your sex life is in marriage, the less attractive something or someone else will be.

A couple of final thoughts. You will be tempted, but temptation is not a sin. Don’t forget that Jesus was tempted. Every person is vulnerable. Anytime you think you are not, you take the first step toward a fall. You have the power of the Creator of everything in you. He wants so much for you to stay pure in your marriage, and He will do anything and everything you allow Him to do to keep your marriage pure. Just let Him in!

Today’s Challenge:

Share with each other your areas of vulnerability as related to purity. Decide what steps you will take to protect the purity of your marriage. If you need outside counsel, get it. Your marriage may depend on it.

Going Deeper:

Take a time-out to spend time looking honestly at your relationship. Pray and ask God to help you see if there are any red flags in your relationship. Remember that red flags have to be dealt with and that ending a relationship now is easier, and less hurtful, than a marriage ending in divorce.

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage

‘As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.’ Proverbs 27:17(NLT)

‘Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.’ Proverbs 13:20(NLT)

‘Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.’ Philippians 4:9(NLT)

‘As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching. Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.’ Titus 2:1-5(NLT)

‘Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”’ John 8:31-32(NLT)

Devotional Content:

As we entered into the millennial era in 1980, 61 percent of children were born into a home where their parents were together in their first marriage. Twenty-five-plus years later, that number is now less that 46 percent.* Many of you as married millennials did not grow up in a home with both of your biological parents present. Some grew up in single parent homes. Some grew up with stepparents in their lives. It is not uncommon at a millennial wedding to have four or more sets of parents present. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that there were not good role models for you. I’m saying that it was just different than what the boomers and the silent generation experienced. God’s original design was for marriage to last and for a child growing up in a home to have two parents serving as good role models. Your family of origin is where you learned about how to be a man or a woman, a husband or a wife, and a dad or a mom. That was the ideal; but unfortunately, half of you did not experience a home with both of your parents staying together.

I still believe good role models are there. There are those who have worked hard to live the lives and have the marriages God designed for them. You just may need to put out more effort to find them. Where do you look?

Start with your parents and stepparents. Ask them about what they did well, what they would change, and the things that helped them grow in their marriage(s). Remember, someone does not have to have a perfect marriage to be able to help you. In fact, I have learned from many people as they have shared their mistakes and the things they would do differently if they could have a second chance. There is a lot of wisdom to be found in someone who is willing to be transparent and honest.

With your spouse, look for couples at your church who are at least a stage ahead of you in their marriage—couples who are not perfect but who are working hard to have the marriage that God has for them. Observe them. Take them to lunch. Ask them if they would be willing to mentor you for a season. This could literally change the direction of your marriage.

One more thing. There is the truth that if you believe something to be true—even if it is a lie—you will live your life as though it were true. Ask God to reveal to you and your spouse the lies you have believed about marriage and to replace them with His truth.

God has a plan for your marriage. You are both unique. There will never be another you. That means that your marriage is also unique and there will never be another marriage like yours. That was God’s design. As you seek Him, He will guide you into your own Awesome Marriage.

* Gretchen Livingston, “Fewer Than Half of U.S. Kids Today Live in a ‘Traditional’ Family,” Pew Research Center, December 22, 2014, [http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/12/22/less-than-half-of-u-s-kids-today-live-in-a-traditional-family/.]

Today’s Challenge:

Discuss the areas of your marriage where a mentor couple or role model could help. Then seek out those people.

Going Deeper:

Pray together for God to remove any lies about marriage that you have believed to be true and to replace those with His truth.

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage

‘Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.’ Galatians 6:4-5(NLT)

‘For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.’ James 3:16(NLT)

‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:2(NLT)

‘Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.’ 1 Timothy 6:6-8(NLT)

‘But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:4-10(NLT)

Devotional Content:

To say that social media is a phenomenon does not tell the entire story. Social media has changed our way of life. The opportunities to connect are seemingly endless. With all the good things social media has brought to our lives, there are also negative things that can upset our lives. As millennials, social media is a normal part of your everyday life. Ninety percent of millennials currently use social media, but research indicates that for more than half of these, social media is a chronic source of unhappiness—at least in some situations.* Forty-one percent of millennials still use Facebook every day but are pulling away more and more because Facebook makes many people unhappy as they watch their friends’ highlight reels.** Ask yourself these questions: How hooked are you on social media? How does it affect your life and your marriage?

The comparison game has long been a part of social media. It affected you as a single when you were or were not invited to an event or when you were or were not dating that almost perfect person. Now that you are married, the game is still there; it just plays out in different ways. Someone’s spouse gets a promotion or a new car; friends get a new home or go on that dream vacation; their kids get all the awards and never cause problems. More highlight reels, and you can still feel the pressure to measure up. It’s not like making comparisons is something new. It’s not. People have been doing it since God created man and woman. The difference today is that it can be in your face every minute of every day.

So the question remains: How do we deal with these pressures? The first step for many of you will be to unplug from social media—at least for a period of time. You need to put some distance between you and your feed. Look at it this way: If social media is causing you to be unhappy with your life, your marriage, and your spouse, do you really want to stay in that world? I really believe we will begin to see many millennials back away somewhat from social media as they correlate their unhappiness with their social media usage.

Beginning to reevaluate your social media usage is a big step, but the biggest step in the right direction begins with your relationship with God. It seems we are all vulnerable to letting our world define us instead of seeing ourselves through God’s eyes. He created you and your spouse perfectly. Neither one of you is a mistake. God loves you just the way you are. Nothing you can do will make Him love you more or less. When you stood with your spouse before Him and committed to this marriage for the rest of your lives, His commitment to help you have an Awesome Marriage was even greater than yours. Never let social media define you, your spouse, your lives, or your marriage. That is God’s job. Lean into His definition.

*Tom Pick, “47 Superb Social Media Marketing Stats and Facts,” Infusionsoft.com, January 21, 2016, [https://learn.infusionsoft.com/marketing/social-media/best-social-media-marketing-stats-and-facts.]

** Lauren Friedman, “4 Millennial Social Media Trends To Watch In 2017,” Forbes, December 29, 2016, [https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurenfriedman/2016/12/29/4-millennial-social-media-trends-to-watch-in-2017/#157daa976e69.]

Today’s Challenge:

Together talk about your connections to social media. Where do you need to unplug, and when will you take that step?

Going Deeper:

Together pray that you will see each other and your marriage through God’s loving eyes.

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage

‘How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.’ Psalms 133:1-3(NLT)

‘Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:24-25(NLT)

‘May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ Romans 15:5-6(NLT)

‘Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! ‘ Hebrews 13:1-2(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Saying that community is important for the two of you in your marriage just doesn’t have the impact that I want it to have for you because community is essential. When we look at the defining events for your generation, one thing that stands out in every list is technology. When we look at lists of things that define this generation, we always find technology reliant. There is nothing wrong with either of those as long as we keep them in balance. Technology has changed the way of life for all of us, but it seems millennials more than any other generation have become technology reliant. So far, we have not done a very good job of using the tools of technology to help us build community. Personally, I think that is beginning to change, and some exciting things are in the not-too-distant-future. But I don’t see the importance of face-to-face community ever changing.

You need other couples in your life who have similar (if not the same) goals, values, and beliefs that the two of you have. You need couples to do life with—to help you raise your kids, to go through hard times with you, to worship and pray with you. You need a community of like-minded believers whom you can love and who love you.

Now our question: How do we build community? Let’s make a list.

• Talk together about what you want in community. Ask yourselves if you are both willing to be vulnerable with others in order to build a community that truly does life together.
• Begin your search. The best place to look is probably your church. If you are not in a church, it is time to find one that has other millennial married couples. If you are in a church and the only millennial married couple is you, it might be time to at least look around at other churches.
• Find at least one other couple and begin to spend time together. See if you are all on the same path and headed in the same direction. Being on the same page with your faith is so important. You want couples that you can pray with and for and that will do the same for you.
• Work toward having three to five couples (that number can fluctuate) that will be the core of your community. Begin to do life with them. Go to church together, meet as a small group, eat meals together, pray for each other, babysit each other’s kids, be there for each other’s important life events, and support each other through tough times. Build trust with each other and never break it. Be patient. This may take some time.
• Your community will expand as you meet new couples and as friends marry. Your original core group will always be special because of all you have shared together.

I said today as we began that being in community is essential. It was for us. The people we have done life with are people that we cherish today. Over the years we have added new couples, but none of our core have left. The bond has been too important. We needed those couples to do life with us. As important as community was for us, it is even more so today. We live in a world that seems to move further and further away from God. To stay on track we all need accountability. Your community will keep you connected to each other and to God.

Today’s Challenge:

Together make a list of what you desire in community.

Going Deeper:

Begin to pray together for God to bring you that first couple to start your community.

from Challenges Of A Millennial Marriage