Category: Devotion for Men

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Devotion for Men ZZ

God’s Advice For Husbands – Day 2

‘Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.”’ Nehemiah 4:10(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

Let me share with you a revelation that changed the way I view my marriage. I want to help you understand the trap of the halfway point. 

This halfway point is a trap that may prevent long-term faithfulness and full fruition of the oneness God calls us to in marriage. It’s a trap that can breed resentment between you and your wife. 

Our halfway point is our most vulnerable—it’s full of exhaustion and lack of motivation to strive on. Runners feel it when they’re at the halfway point of a marathon. Nehemiah felt it from his workers when they were halfway through building the wall around Jerusalem (Nehemiah 4:10).

It’s this weak moment, this halfway point, that the enemy of our souls attacks relentlessly. Satan adroitly knows how tired our souls are. He knows how vulnerable we are to quit, give up, and chuck our marriages and families in the hope of finding something new.

The halfway point in our marriage is when the familiarity with our wives sets in. The honeymoon stage is long over, our job is most demanding, our bills mount up, and the kids need more time and money from us. It’s here that the enemy seeks to drive a wedge of discontentment between us and our wives, attacking ferociously. Seeking to kill and destroy.

How do we stay strong past that inevitable halfway point? By choosing to continue faithfully loving and pursuing your wife. Mirror the Lord’s steadfast, merciful love for us by continually choosing your wife amidst the struggle. 

You’re told to honor your wife (1 Peter 3:7). Doing this is an active and daily choice, and every time you make it, Satan’s power against you crumbles. Stand strong in this fight to push past the halfway point and the enemy’s hatred of your marriage by pursuing your spouse fully, chasing after oneness and guarding it against spiritual attack with everything you have. Believe in the truth that if God brought you together, nothing can tear you apart. 

It’s not always easy, but it’s always good. As Ephesians 6:12 says, we fight against the spiritual forces of evil and darkness. Our enemy is real, but he’s already been defeated. Live in the victory that was won for you, your wife, and your marriage on the cross by turning from discontentment and seeking to honor your spouse, on the good days and the bad ones, too. 

  •  Do you think you’ve reached the “halfway point” in your marriage? If so, in what ways did it       manifest itself?
  •  What are tangible ways you can work to fight against the spiritual attack on your marriage   that comes with the exhaustion of the halfway point? 
  •  How are you working now to build endurance against fatigue in your marriage? Where are your areas of weakness, and how can you correct them? 
  • What keeps you from making the active and daily choice to honor your wife?

from God’s Advice For Husbands

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Devotion for Men ZZ

God’s Advice For Husbands – Day 1

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ‘ Genesis 2:18(NLT)

In Genesis 2:18, God said it’s not good for man to be alone. Therefore, he created Eve for Adam. She was called his “helper.” The word in the original Hebrew text is ezer. I don’t think “helper” gives the full understanding of what this word means.

In other places in the Bible, the word ezer describes God himself as a helper, rock, or our strength. For example, God is the ezer of the fatherless (Psalm 10:14). He was King David’s ezer and deliverer (Psalm 70:5). In Deuteronomy 33:29, God was described in military terms as one’s shield and ezer and a glorious sword. In fact, on three different occasions in the Bible, the word ezer is used to describe God in a military context.

In my opinion, thinking of Eve as a rock, or strength, or a military fighter, or a protector gives all wives an added importance in the marriage relationship. Wives are not mere companions. They are not simply passive bystanders. Their responsibility isn’t limited to just supporting their husbands in life’s endeavors.

To the contrary! A wife is a rock a husband can lean on when he is experiencing life’s difficult trials. She is a source of strength when a husband feels too listless to fight. She will fight for him, giving help, strength, and courage.

In Genesis 2:18, the word ezer is combined with the Hebrew word kenegdo to give even more specificity as to why Eve was created. Kenegdo implies being equal to and one with. It implies that she came from the man’s side only to become one with him again in marriage.

Therefore, when you place these two words together—ezer-kenegdo—it’s easy to see how inadequate the term “helpmate” is to describe the woman. Literally, ezer-kenegdo implies a rock and strength of the same nature. It implies equality, mutuality, and harmony with the husband.

Husband, you show love to your wife by sharing your heart. Ephesians 5:33 states that a husband is to love his wife. It’s apparently her greatest need in the relationship. When a husband really loves his wife, he shares his heart with her. He knows she is a source of strength. He knows she wants to fight for him and what he’s going through. He knows she feels honored to do so. When all this happens, you two will move closer to one another. 

You will become one as she operates as ezer-kenegdo. 

  •  In what ways is your wife’s sensitivity her strength?  
  • In what ways have you seen your wife as a rock, source of strength, and fighter for you? 
  • How does oneness occur when you recognize your wife’s equal and unique contribution to your marriage?
  •  How does your wife fulfill the role of ezer, or helper, in your marriage? 

from God’s Advice For Husbands

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Devotion for Men ZZ

The Legacy You Leave

‘But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”’ 1 Peter 1:15-16(NLT)

1 Peter 1: 15-16 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”

I used to think that married couples who could claim many years of marriage had it figured out. After all, if you’ve been married for 30+ years, you must be doing something right. Not necessarily. I know couples who have been married for over 40 years and have had some of the worst marriages. Strangers living in the same house out of habit and convenience instead of love and honor. They may tell you they are still in love, but their actions say something completely different. 

As Abe Lincoln said, “You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.”

You may say all the right things at church or in front of people, but there may be something different going on at home. 

I focus on this because your family sees your marriage a little differently than you. When you were young, your son or daughter looked to you as someone to mimic. They may look at your marriage as something they want to recreate in their own marriage, or they may look at your marriage and want to do the exact opposite because of how dysfunctional it is.

Focus your marriage on God, pray for it daily and invest quality time in building it up. Speak love and truth to your wife and ask her to do the same for you. Spend time in the Word of God together, do marriage studies and encourage each other. Since you are going to leave a legacy for someone, it might as well honor God and be a great one.

Uncommen Questions:

Do you do something that you’d like your kids to mimic in their own marriages?

Do you do something that you’d like your kids to not mimic in their own marriages?

Uncommen Challenge:

Don’t stumble or coast into the last years of your marriage as an example of what not to be to someone. Instead, use this opportunity to really press into your marriage to honor God with a holy union that He has brought together. Be Holy as He is Holy.

Scripture Reference:
1 Peter 1:15-16

from UNCOMMEN: Husbands Part 2

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Devotion for Men ZZ

The Redo

‘“But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.’ Isaiah 43:18-19(NLT)

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

I was recently watching a movie called “About Time,” and the premise was all the men in this family could travel backward in time. They didn’t really address the time-space continuum as it was more of a Rom-Com. Instead of traveling back in time to kill Hitler or get the Lotto numbers, he would only go tweak moments in his past.

He would identify a moment in his past that he felt put him on a path that he didn’t really want to be on and go back to fix it. When he came back, things had worked out better or at least different. Just because you change one thing doesn’t mean you can fix everything. I won’t ruin the movie for you, as it’s got some good lessons if you want to watch it with your wife.

This got me thinking of husbands and wives who may look at their current situation and wonder, “If I could just go back in time to change this or that.” Maybe it’s as big as marrying someone completely different, not getting married at all or saying yes instead of no.

Our passage tells us to “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” In context, God is talking about Israel’s unfaithfulness, but in our case, it’s a great reminder that we can’t change the former things. Since we can’t, don’t dwell on them. 

Instead, pray for God to give you wisdom and become the husband your wife needs you to be. Ideally, if I were given the chance to go back and change something, I’d like to think I would say, “No thanks, I love where God has me.” 

While no one gets everything right, the best place we can be is in God’s will when it comes to our marriage and the choices that got us there.

Uncommen Questions:

Is there anything in your past that would make you want a redo moment when it comes to your marriage?

Does the fact that you can’t change things impact the type of marriage you have?

Uncommen Challenge:

Instead of having a marriage that would make you entertain the thought of a redo moment, develop a marriage that would make you content where you are. 

Scripture Reference:
Isaiah 43:18-19

from UNCOMMEN: Husbands Part 2

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Run Husband…Run!

‘Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. ‘ 1 Corinthians 9:24-26(NLT)

1 Corinthians 9: 24-26a Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly;

We’ve all sat in the doctor’s waiting room and looked around at the people in the room wondering what they have going on. This one seems like he’s on death’s doorstep or that one is coughing up a lung. You probably try to hold your breath and say something like, “Thank God I’m not as bad off as those poor people.” 

Let’s change the situation a bit for our needs. We’re not looking around the room at sick people, but instead married couples. One couple is too busy looking at the phone to notice each other. One pair is just going through the motions and is no longer a soulmate, but rather a roommate. Then you may have a couple who really doesn’t want to be together anymore, and it looks to be on the verge of a divorce. 

You and your wife may sigh in relief and say something like, “Thank God our marriage is not like those people.” 

Our verse tells us that all the runners run. When applied to our topic, there are a lot of marriages out there, but not all of them are great. In fact, I would wager that not all of them are even good. 

I wonder what people are saying about your marriage in that fateful room?

Uncommen Questions:

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your marriage? (1 = verge of divorce / 10 = a Godly union)

If you said anything under a 10, you have work to do. Don’t worry, we all do. 

If you had to change one thing to help your marriage, what would it be? Have you and your wife spoken about that one thing?

Uncommen Challenge:

Don’t let your marriage fall by the wayside; run the race in which to win the prize. The prize is a great marriage that is centered on God. Love and respect each other and pray for each other daily. I included the one line from verse 26…”So I do not run aimlessly.” Don’t run aimlessly. Focus your marriage on Jesus, and run toward Him. If one falls, pick the other up. But the goal is to cross that line together. 

Scripture Reference:
1 Corinthians 9: 24-26

from UNCOMMEN: Husbands Part 2

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Devotion for Men ZZ

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

‘So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:33(NLT)

Ephesians 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

So you want respect, do you? Do you put in the work to earn respect? In today’s culture, we see entitlement in many forms and if we can be honest here—it never looks good. To say, “I deserve something that I’ve not earned” just doesn’t make sense to anyone.

So if you have married someone and think you are going to sit on the front porch or couch, bark out orders, speak to her like you would an object, be lazy and think you’re going to get her respect, you are mistaken. 

When God made Eve, He created Adam a help meet. Do you know what Adam was to Eve? Her help meet. They complemented each other as to where when one is weak the other is strong. After all, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” 

I can only speak from what I have seen from my Dad’s generation when it came to being a husband and how he, my uncles, and friends treated their wives. Let’s just say, there were issues. You know what has changed since then? Unfortunately, it seems like not that much when you look around. We still leave way too much of our role as a husband to our wives to handle. 

Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 

As you can see, we have been called to more than what most of us are currently doing. You don’t need to be perfect tomorrow, but what matters far more than production is an effort. In no time you’ll be loving her, and she’ll be respecting you. 

After all, respect works both ways.

Uncommen Questions:

Does your wife show you respect? 

Do you feel you’ve earned the honor to be shown respect?

Uncommen Challenge:

If you notice in the Bible verse, it has two parts. One doesn’t work without the other. Husbands, love your wife as yourself. How is your wife supposed to show you respect if you don’t show her love? How are you to show her love if she doesn’t respect you? You both do what God has instructed you to do, and that fulfills the scripture verse.

Scripture Reference:
Ephesians 5:33

from UNCOMMEN: Husbands Part 2

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Devotion for Men ZZ

To the I Do and Beyond!

‘Boaz went to the town gate and took a seat there. Just then the family redeemer he had mentioned came by, so Boaz called out to him, “Come over here and sit down, friend. I want to talk to you.” So they sat down together. Then Boaz called ten leaders from the town and asked them to sit as witnesses. And Boaz said to the family redeemer, “You know Naomi, who came back from Moab. She is selling the land that belonged to our relative Elimelech. I thought I should speak to you about it so that you can redeem it if you wish. If you want the land, then buy it here in the presence of these witnesses. But if you don’t want it, let me know right away, because I am next in line to redeem it after you.” The man replied, “All right, I’ll redeem it.” Then Boaz told him, “Of course, your purchase of the land from Naomi also requires that you marry Ruth, the Moabite widow. That way she can have children who will carry on her husband’s name and keep the land in the family.” “Then I can’t redeem it,” the family redeemer replied, “because this might endanger my own estate. You redeem the land; I cannot do it.” Now in those days it was the custom in Israel for anyone transferring a right of purchase to remove his sandal and hand it to the other party. This publicly validated the transaction. So the other family redeemer drew off his sandal as he said to Boaz, “You buy the land.” Then Boaz said to the elders and to the crowd standing around, “You are witnesses that today I have bought from Naomi all the property of Elimelech, Kilion, and Mahlon. And with the land I have acquired Ruth, the Moabite widow of Mahlon, to be my wife. This way she can have a son to carry on the family name of her dead husband and to inherit the family property here in his hometown. You are all witnesses today.” Then the elders and all the people standing in the gate replied, “We are witnesses! May the Lord make this woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, from whom all the nation of Israel descended! May you prosper in Ephrathah and be famous in Bethlehem. And may the Lord give you descendants by this young woman who will be like those of our ancestor Perez, the son of Tamar and Judah.”’ Ruth 4:1-12(NLT)

As you will read in Book of Ruth, Boaz was drawn to Ruth so much, that buying a field to redeem Ruth wasn’t even a concern. Boaz wanted Ruth to be his wife, and if that is what it took, he was ready, willing and able to do it.

Now what?

My youngest son just got married some four days ago, and while we all spent over a year planning all the details that go into a wedding, after the “I Do”…now what? There was a sudden end to all the preparations for us, but it was just the beginning for them. Thirteen months of details that will lead to many years of marriage hardly seems like enough time to get ready for it.

My wife and I have been together for 35 years. We are in the thick of the “now what” of it all. We men have a tendency to be drawn to the bright and shiny and flashy stuff. They put chrome on Harley Davidsons and trucks for a reason. It gets our attention. They don’t care about keeping our attention; they just want it long enough for us to buy it. We are so predictable that there are phrases for us.

The 7-year Itch

Mid-life Crises

Middle Age Crazy

Change of Life

The Back Nine

But God wants us to stay connected to our wives from the “I Do” and beyond. What are you doing to ensure that you and your wife are ready for the day/month/year after the I Do?

We were having dinner with an older couple, and I happened to lean over to my wife and whispered, “I love you, angel.” The other woman must have heard me and turned to her husband and said, “Why don’t you tell me you love me?” You’d think this would be an easy win for the guy to say, “Sweetheart, I love you so much.” Think again! He said, “I told you I loved you when I married you. If something changes, I’ll let you know.” That, my friends, is not winning at your marriage. 

That woman may have started off with her soulmate, but ended up with a roommate.

Uncommen Questions:

When was the last time you felt you were winning at your marriage?

If you and your wife were asked if you had a good marriage, do you think she would give the same answer as you?

Uncommen Challenge:

Men, we can do better than having our wives beg for attention and love. You and I were called to be more than that. Speak love into your marriage, invest time studying and growing your marriage and most importantly, pray for your marriage. 

Scripture Reference:
Ruth 4 :1-12

from UNCOMMEN: Husbands Part 2

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Participation is Key

‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. ‘ Ephesians 4:1-2(NLT)

‘Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. ‘ 1 John 4:7(NLT)

Once the wedding cake becomes a distant memory and dirty laundry more the reality, loving each other in a marriage relationship begins to feel more dissonant than first experienced. The days grow long with extensive responsibilities. In fact, I know few Christian women who spend their time doing whatever they want. Every day there are essentials left undone. 

In all things that make up your life together, your wife would like your help. Actually, she wants your participation, but she can’t ask you without sounding like your mother. What your bride does NOT desire is for you to check out emotionally and physically, aggravated and bothered. 

Loving each other the way God intends requires doing the nitty gritty together. This element of relationship may take several starts and restarts, but a good way to begin is with a discussion. Talk about what you are observing that needs to be done along with the dual responsibilities shared. Ask her the best way to participate to get everything accomplished. This approach enables you to lead with open opportunities for coming to a workable plan. 

Allow me to offer a word of caution. Please be patient. To be frank, for the first several starts and restarts, your help might not be helpful. Your approach may upset the oiled machine. Her response may be hurtful or vice versa. She also might not have confidence in your motives. A truckload of emotional baggage could burst open across the room, especially if she works outside the home, or has picked up the same bucket of toys 40 times previously that day.

Tim Hawkins, the Christian comedian, captures this Big One precisely when he performs his original song, “I’ll Cleanup for You.” He sings about romancing his wife of twenty years, not with traditional candles, flowers, or cuddling on the couch, but by knowing what she really wants. Grasping a vacuum, that man gets to work without being asked or given a task in order to enchant his bride. Hawkins has learned a thing or two about loving his wife to the bottom of the stacks of dirty laundry. 

Your wife wants your participation. 

Ask the Lord how to lead out on this in your home. Then see how He will have you demonstrate your love for her through the daily grind of life. 

You may be surprised what good comes from your unsolicited participation.

from What Your Wife Really Wants but Can’t Tell You

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Delight in Her

‘Don’t lust for her beauty. Don’t let her coy glances seduce you.’ Proverbs 6:25(NLT)

‘“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ‘ Matthew 5:27-28(NLT)

‘The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.’ 1 Corinthians 10:13(NLT)

‘Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:18-19(NLT)

Everything is connected in the heart and mind of a woman. Or haven’t you noticed? In marriage, what you say, hear, and view with your eyes are intertwined with your personality, integrity, and love for your wife.

What your wife really wants is for you to delight in her– and her ALONE. Not the cute waitress. (Don’t comment or follow with your eyes.) Not the old girlfriend on Facebook. (Unfriend all past relationships or possibilities.) Not the gorgeous colleague at work. (No lunches. Don’t hang out with her. Set boundaries.) Not the scantily clad movie star. (Abstain.) Not the porn. Absolutely NOT.

Your bride walked the aisle for the fairytale. Great news! You are her fairytale. She anticipates being yours. YOUR eyes exclusively electrified by her. YOUR affection reserved for her. You, Mr. Bigshot, have attained Prince Charming status. Your wife is simply wondering how to be THE Princess in your eyes. 

But she can’t tell you. 

Everything around her screams society’s demand to accept a man’s weakness to look and long. “Looking is every man’s struggle. We’re going to look. It’s how God made us,” so we’re told…But is that really true? 

Proverbs 6:25 commands Christ-followers to “not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” Then Jesus unravels anything confusing about the matter in Matthew five where he calls even lustful mental activity adultery. This declaration illuminates the Truth. No. God did not design guys to gaze at enticing women to whom they are not married. That behavior is sin, plain and simple. Its power over man was beaten by the cross, just like every other offense. 

In this matter, God was kind in meeting your desires with the woman of your choosing. Gaze away at your stunning bride. She is your standard of beauty and the only place of freedom for your eyes, body, and your mind. Your wife wants you to delight in her alone. What a gift. 

Countless times have I heard my man tell me he delights in me, and me alone, across twenty plus years of marriage. Hearing I am enough never gets old. 

Take some time to consider your affections and the Truth of Scripture. What steps might you need to take to delight in your wife alone? How can you begin communicating your affection and let her know she is enough?

from What Your Wife Really Wants but Can’t Tell You

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Devotion for Men ZZ

Keep Your Promises

‘“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?’ Jeremiah 17:9(NLT)

‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Proverbs 4:23(NLT)

‘Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire?’ Proverbs 6:27(NLT)

‘But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. He will be wounded and disgraced. His shame will never be erased.’ Proverbs 6:32-33(NLT)

Loving your wife second anticipates your ABSOLUTE fidelity. UNLESS you want to destroy her trust, making a knock-down gorgeous bride question her worth… DON’T CHEAT ON HER.

Not in person. Not on a device or even in your head. Do not cheat today, tomorrow, next year or in seven years. Never. This is a non-negotiable our society has offered as normal and expected marriage baggage.

NONSENSE. That’s absurd. 

She doesn’t hear that “It didn’t mean anything to you,” or “It was the alcohol.” She hears, “I don’t love you enough to be faithful.” “I cannot be trusted because I lie, cheat, and have poor judgment.” “You are not enough.”

Our society doesn’t even call this infidelity a moral wrong. Instead, they admit, “I made a mistake.” The Bible declares the act to be breaking the covenant relationship made before God and man. 

This one made the shortlist because your wife can’t ask you to be faithful. She shouldn’t have to, should she? That’s what I thought, too, until I realized God placed it at the top of His shortlist in relating with us. How quickly are we unfaithful to Him in a thousand ways because our hearts are deceitful? The Word calls us then to GUARD our hearts because the heart determines the course of our lives. This is especially true in our marriage relationships. 

Proverbs compares adulterous behaviors to picking up fire and holding it next to your chest. That’s just stupid! A person is going to get burned. But somehow the mind persuades that you’re the exception. You begin believing you will be able to hold that fire without getting burned or even the smell of smoke leaving a trace.

Biblical wisdom sees through that hogwash. For heaven’s sake, so does the Huffington Post. You will get burned. Let well enough alone and miss the loss of relationship, the extensive personal destruction, and disgrace. This one doesn’t just go away. God found it critical enough to be a Biblical deal-breaker. “I’m sorry,” doesn’t fix it. 

Your bride wants you to forsake all others for her and her alone, just like you promised. 

Ask the Lord to show you how to better guard your heart. Are there habits you need to break? New ones you need to begin?

Ask God to begin giving you wisdom in how to demonstrate your faithfulness in keeping your promises to your wife. 

from What Your Wife Really Wants but Can’t Tell You