Category: Devotion for Men

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

I’ve learned that I need to be a student of my wife. It’s a lifelong pursuit of understanding and knowing my wife so that I can love her well. The Lord knew I would need a lot of help when he reminded me to live with my wife in an understanding way. I’ll never figure her out without his help (see 1 Peter 3:7 NASB). Here are just some of the things I’ve learned about my wife. I know not to buy her flowers or candy; she prefers more practical gifts. I know the colors she likes and her favorite brands of clothing and jewelry. I know she likes to socialize but not stay out too late. I know she prefers me to drive, but with caution. I know she likes to people watch, shop, and drink coffee, but will drink only decaf after five o’clock in the evening. As the Lord increases my understanding of my wife, He then invites and empowers me to demonstrate His kindness. He is wonderfully patient and kind with me. I get to pay His kindness forward to my partner.

LISTEN TO JESUS 

Remember, my beloved. I am wonderfully kind, patient, and tolerant of you. It was my kindness, in spite of your sin, that first drew you into a relationship with me. Now I’m giving you the opportunity to share some of that kindness with your spouse. Pay it forward every day. Look for ways to demonstrate kindness with your wife. Be generous as I am generous. Take thought of her just as I think of you a thousand times a day. Finally, remember that sharing truth with one another is important, but that truth needs to be coupled with kindness. 

* Jesus, you are so right. You have been patient, kind, and tolerant of me even though I ________. I am grateful for your kindness toward me because ________. I pray that you would empower me to demonstrate this same kindness in my marriage. I need your help to ________.

* Lord, I pray that my wife would have a fresh experience with your kindness as well. May she sense your patience and understanding, and the generous way you love us both. I pray specifically that she would sense your kindness related to ________.

LIVE: DO THE BIBLE (Ephesians 4:32)

* God, remind me often of my wife’s preferences and uniquenesses. Show me the things I need to understand about her. Based on these special things about her, show me ways that I can demonstrate your kindness. Show me ways to be tenderhearted with her. Show me any areas where I need to forgive, just as you’ve forgiven me. Speak to me, Lord. I’m listening for ________.

* Lord, I pray for my wife. Give her a fresh experience of your kindness and tenderness. I want her to soak in your forgiveness. Show her more and more of the ways she is loved by you so that ________.

TAKE ACTION 

• Give your wife an unexpected, no-strings-attached hug. 

• Serve your wife her favorite meal. 

• Compliment her on her appearance. 

• Praise your wife for her accomplishment or achievement. 

• Give her a back rub or foot massage.

from Praying For My Wife

‘Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.’ Psalms 69:30(NLT)

Last Christmas, I was struck by a simple statement of gratitude in the story of Jesus. God lovingly provided Mary with a special relationship in Elizabeth. The Lord knew Mary would need the blessing of another human who understood the incredible, divinely orchestrated circumstances. The most blessed of all women expressed gratitude because she wasn’t going through the circumstances alone: “My soul exalts the Lord” (Luke 1:46 NASB). As I read those words, I was amazed. Mary’s gratitude wasn’t about her position, but about relationship. I now see that the same God who blessed Mary with a special relationship has sent my wife as one of His most special gifts for me. God has provided and “found” a beautiful wife for me, and she is a blessing from Him (Proverbs 18:22). More and more frequently, I’ve recognized a sense of deep gratitude for my life partner. She’s a partner who has seen my less-than-perfect side and still accepts me, a partner whose strengths lovingly balance my weaknesses, and a partner who thinks of me, gives to me, and cares about me. She’s the partner and blessing my God has given to me. Because of this, my soul exalts the Lord. 

PRAY: LISTEN TO JESUS 

In case you’re unsure of how to connect with me, I’ve given you a hint. Thank me. I’ve given you everything you enjoy— every breath you breathe and every relationship you call dear. It’s my absolute joy to give, yet it hurts my heart when the ones I love forget to say thank you. I feel loved and honored when I hear your words of gratitude. My followers who have learned to acclaim me walk in my presence and find great blessing. Your gratitude keeps us close.

* Jesus, I don’t ever want you to feel disappointed because I forget to say thank you. When I imagine how much you have given to me and our family, and how you might experience hurt because of my lack of gratitude, I feel ________. 

* Lord, I don’t want to forget to say thank you for my wife. She is a gift from you. Remind me of all the ways she is a special blessing from you to me. Keep me from being critical. I’m grateful you found and provided her for me because ________.

LIVE: DO THE BIBLE (Psalm 69:30)

* God, I want to bring you honor with my gratitude. Remind me of some of the special ways you have loved me recently. Today, I am particularly grateful for these ten things: ________. 

* God, in the same way, I pray for my wife. Would you move her heart with gratefulness for how you have loved her well. I want her to enjoy the blessing of walking in your presence. I want her to receive the joy of special connection with you because ________.

TAKE ACTION 

• Tell your wife some of the ways that she is a blessing to you. Share the top ten reasons she is God’s gift. 

• Brag about your wife and how you’ve been blessed by her. Share a post on social media or find some other public way to demonstrate your gratitude. Brag in front of your kids, family members, or friends: “I’ve recently been reminded of some of the great qualities in my wife. I’m grateful God gave her to me because ________.”

from Praying For My Wife

‘So I said to myself, “I will get up and roam the city, searching in all its streets and squares. I will search for the one I love.” So I searched everywhere but did not find him.’ Song of Songs 3:2(NLT)

The intimacy in our marriage increased and our overall relationship improved when we began what we called “marriage staff meetings.” These weekly times to talk made all the difference. For a while, we had lunch together every Thursday. At other times, we met on Tuesday nights after the kids were asleep. We made this time a priority and it paid off. One of the most special benefits that came out of our marriage staff meetings was our ability to plan and accomplish goals for our future. Out of these consistent weekly marriage staff meetings, we felt safe enough to talk about our financial goals and what we wanted to do when the kids were grown. We discussed plans for improving our home, and projects we wanted to get done in the yard. We planned our date nights and family vacations. These discussions increased our unity and helped us accomplish the goals that were important to both of us.

PRAY: LISTEN TO JESUS 

I love to see the plans you make, especially as you include me. It brings me joy to give you the desires of your heart and make your plans succeed. It’s a part of my divine nature to bring good things to your life. So seek me out, include me in your plans, because I long to meet your needs. Harmony is precious to me, beloved. I love seeing my people make decisions in unity. If you’re having trouble, remember that the Holy Spirit is interceding on your behalf. He’s praying for you and your wife. His prayers are meant to help you live according to God’s will.

* Jesus, I know you have good things planned for us and I’m grateful. You’ve been faithful to give us ________. Grant us wisdom now as we make plans to ________. 

* Lord, I pray that my wife and I would come together in harmony around these goals: ________. Thank you that your Spirit is interceding for us about ________. 

LIVE: DO THE BIBLE (Song of Solomon 3:2)

* God, I want to seek your counsel about this goal: ________. Help me to know the best way and best time to seek my wife’s input about our plans for ________.

* God, in the same way, I pray that my wife would hear from you about ________. Show my wife and me the plans you have for us. We want to hear what you have to say about ________. Bring us to unity, Lord. We want to please you with the harmony and unity of our marriage. 

TAKE ACTION 

• Ask your wife to discuss plans for a special date night. Meet your goal for increased closeness. 

• Ask your wife’s input about the specific character traits that need to be emphasized as you train each of your children. Discuss plans for parenting your children in these ways. 

• Write down your response to this question: “If all my dreams for the future could come true, here’s what our life, marriage, and family would look like: ________.” Ask your wife to do the same, then talk through both responses.

from Praying For My Wife

‘For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:10(NLT)

My wife and I have wasted a lot of time arguing over whose ways are better. We’ve fought over every imaginable issue: “There’s no money in the account,” “There’s no gas in my car,” and “Why didn’t you call and tell me they were coming home with you?” We’ve been slow learners at times, but we’ve found a better way. Here’s the way we now handle our differing perspectives: We begin with the principle that neither of us has thoughts, ideas, plans, or ways that are always best. We’ve learned to navigate the challenges of differing perspectives by prayerfully asking the Lord to show us His thoughts on the matter. Since His thoughts are higher than ours, we know His ways are best. And as we’ve learned to approach the challenges of marriage in this way, we’ve not only enjoyed more harmony, but we’ve also come to appreciate one another’s perspective. I’ve come to value my wife’s insight into people, her sensitivity to our kids’ needs, and her gift of hospitality. She’s come to more fully appreciate my attention to detail, persistence in completing projects, and vision for our financial future.

PRAY: LISTEN TO JESUS 

Humble yourself, and I will lift you up. I love when you acknowledge your dependence on me. I can’t wait to come to your aid. I am ready to teach you my ways and lead you in how to celebrate the differences between you and your spouse. Your humility is what moves me to action. I keep my distance from the proud. So talk freely about how you need me and how you are depending on me.

* Jesus, please show me your ways and your thoughts. Especially when I’m tempted to think that my ways are best, reveal your perspective. I need to specifically hear you concerning ________. 

* Lord, I pray for my wife and our marriage. We are depending on you to help us navigate our differences. We especially need your help concerning ________.

LIVE: DO THE BIBLE (Ephesians 2:10)

* God, I want to see my wife as your masterpiece. Show me the traits about her that make you particularly proud of your creation. Show me, Lord. I am celebrating these uniquenesses about my wife: ________. May she see herself as your unique creation, especially in ________. 

* God, in the same way, I pray for my wife. Help her to see me as a different but still unique creation of God. Bring unity in our relationship, particularly in how we ________. 

* Lord, you have planned good things for each of us to do. Increase our unity and help us celebrate our differences so that we might point more and more people to you. 

TAKE ACTION 

• Write down the improvements or changes that you could make that would help your marriage communication, especially in regard to the ways you are different from your wife. 

• Look for an opportunity to defer to your wife. Say something like, “We’re really different in this area and yet I want to give to you by ________.”

from Praying For My Wife

‘Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. ‘ James 5:13(NLT)

The mystery of two becoming one in marriage is only possible through an intimate relationship with the One who ordained it. Prayer is the avenue of relationship with the Author of marriage. Marriage was intended to live out of mutual, divine dependency. As Amanda and I go to the Lord in prayer and depend upon Him to relieve any suffering, comfort any pain, and meet any need, He provides an unlimited source of love for each of us. Prayer acknowledges our absolute dependency upon God and draws upon Him as the source of abundant love. Amanda and I have also discovered that prayer brings humility to our relationship and increases compassion for each other. As I pray with my wife, I am reminded of my own need for forgiveness and grace. As we pray together about issues with the kids or decisions in our careers, I am challenged to humbly acknowledge my inadequacies and submit myself to God’s unmerited favor. Finally, Amanda and I have found benefit in this simple prayer: “Lord, I want what you want. Help me discern it and give me power to live it.” Regardless of the issue or the conflict, as we pray this type of prayer together, we experience oneness in our desire to know and do His will.

PRAY: LISTEN TO JESUS 

I long to have quiet moments of conversation with you and your wife. I love when you are still and free of distractions, because those are the times when you can truly feel my love. I especially enjoy seeing you pray together as a couple. When the three of us come together in prayer, miraculous things can happen. Remember, I am the God of love. So it’s in these quiet moments of time with me that I can be your unlimited source of love. 

* Jesus, I ask that you quiet my mind and spirit. Help me to focus on you. In my relationship with my wife, I am depending on you to ________. Since you are the God of love, I am counting on you to ________. 

* Lord, I pray for my wife. Would you draw her close to yourself? Since you are the God of love, I ask that you empower her to ________.

LIVE: DO THE BIBLE (James 5:13)

* God, I come to you now about the hardships I/we are enduring. I need to know that you care about ________. Please reassure me of your love. I need you to intervene in this situation because ________. I am depending on you to ________.

* God, in the same way, I pray for my wife. She needs to know that you care about ________. Please reassure her of your love. She needs you to intervene in this situation: ________. I am depending on you to ________.

TAKE ACTION 

• Invite your wife to talk with you about any spiritual goals each of you may have (more times of prayer together, Bible study, devotionals, church attendance). Implement one of these ideas this week. 

• Invite your wife to join you as you lead out in prayer. Spend several minutes discussing the most pressing needs and hardships of your life together and then pray. 

from Praying For My Wife