Category: Dating

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Dating ZZ

God is your Father-in-law

‘But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.’ 1 John 4:8(NLT)

‘Honor your father and mother. Love your neighbor as yourself.’”’ Matthew 19:19(NLT)

Marriage is the beauty of God making a trinity on earth as it is in heaven. God was making a three-faced servant-being on earth to multiply trinities, raise children, and glorify His name. 

This trinity idea is no minor thought on marriage. Marriage being a trinity between God, man, and woman is what separates a Christian definition of marriage from every version or perversion of marriage any culture or individual can decide upon. 

From a Christian perspective, marriage is not and never has been between a man and a woman. A Christian marriage, as shown in Genesis 1 and 2, is between God, a man, and a woman. 

In this trinity of marriage, we humans are equal in value. One does not rule over the other. A man is not a king in the triune marriage—God is. If a man thinks he can be king over an all-knowing, all-powerful God, he may be suffering from a delusion of grandeur. 

God is a real caring person in your marriage. Have you ever thought about how God feels as a member of your marriage? Do you think God feels wanted, pursued, loved, honored, considered, and engaged in your marriage? Or do you think God feels unwanted, disrespected, and silenced in your marriage? God does have feelings. How does he feel in your marriage? Answering this question as a couple can really open your eyes to the amazing first person in your marriage. 

I want to talk to you about the two relationships you both have with God in your marriage. I will start with the one with which it is likely you are most familiar: God as your Father. You have an all-knowing, all-powerful God as your dad. In my life, He and I have faced many things, and I love learning about Him in my day-to-day life. 

Then there comes a second relationship you have with God when you are in a triune marriage. This relationship is not with God as Father, but rather, with God as your Father-in-law. God is the one who created, birthed, and matured your spouse—the same God who brought he or she into your life to be your spouse. Your spouse is God’s favorite son or daughter, so this makes you a son-in-law to His favored daughter or a daughter-in-law to His favored son. 

You are not just a son or daughter of God. You are a son-in-law or daughter of God. You are a daughter-in-law or son of God as well. When you marry, you have two relationships with God; one as a son or daughter and one as a son-in-law or daughter-in-law. 

This is an important concept to recognize. How do you think God feels toward you as an in-law? Do you think He is proud of you? Is He encouraged and thankful that He gave your spouse to you to love?

 

Many people never think of the all-knowing, ever-present, all-powerful God as their Father-in-law. Never forget – He sees all the thoughts and behaviors you have toward your spouse, whether you are with them or absent from them. 

from Living a Servant Marriage

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Dating ZZ

Becoming A Servant

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)

‘He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”’ Mark 9:35(NLT)

Adam had to undergo a miraculous process of becoming a servant before he was gifted a woman and a marriage. 

God was moving him from just meeting his own personal needs to also meet the needs of others. Adam was not in the Garden for himself. He was created to serve—to serve others. Though Adam had a mature body, he was not as mature as the Father who lived a servant lifestyle in heaven with the Son and Holy Spirit. So, just as any father starts his child out with simple and then increasingly complex tasks as the child develops, the Father began creating the DNA of a servant in Adam the only way it can be created; by serving. 

Adam had to accept responsibility for the needs of the animals all day long. People also have needs all day long, whether at work or home. It was vitally important for Adam to see the needs of others as opportunities to serve; not as impositions or inconveniences that would keep him from doing what he thought he might be entitled to do at any given moment. 

These needs were brought to Adam every day, day after day, for a very long time. Serving was not just what Adam did, it was becoming who he was. 

Through a process, God was imparting to Adam the ability to be responsible with the needs and identities of those around him. This was training to prepare Adam for the final stages of God’s creation; a woman, and then marriage. 

This servant process is so critical. Had Adam not become a servant prior to marriage, he would have been totally ill-equipped to handle the needs of a woman, the needs of marriage, and the needs of a family. This foundational training is what God knows we need to be successful in marriage. 

If we come at our marriage to be served instead of to serve the other person, we are setting ourselves up for significant, unnecessary pain. If a man or woman is not a servant, he or she is not ready for marriage. If there is not a servant at the very core of who you are, you have totally missed why you are here on planet Earth, and why you are married and received a family. Each responsibility is designed to expand your ability and capacity to serve with excellence and a great attitude. 

“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man” (Genesis 2:21-22, NIV). 

from Living a Servant Marriage

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Dating ZZ

God has called you

‘Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ‘ 1 John 3:18(NLT)

‘And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”’ Acts of the Apostles 20:35(NLT)

‘Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”’ Luke 6:38(NLT)

Just as we have a calling to a vocation and/or ministry, many of us have a calling to marriage. If marriage is part of your calling, it is important to understand it if you intend to grow in it. Without understanding the call to be married, you will look at marriage mostly through secular lenses and focus your evaluation of the marriage on how happy you are, and not on how well you are serving your spouse. 

Here is just a little bit more about calling. When you answer your cell phone, it has a cool feature on it that tells you who is calling (if you have them in your contacts list). It is important to know who is calling you. When anyone is called to a vocation, ministry, or marriage (and so on), who does the calling? God. 

God, the Almighty, the awesome, all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful Creator is the one who calls you into salvation, ministry, vocation, and yes—He alone has called you into marriage. He alone is the one to whom you will answer for the quality of service toward your spouse. He alone will move you into various stages of preparation and progress as you pass through the various adventures of marriage. 

It is God who has called me to serve Lisa. She alone is my first ministry—above my children (as wonderful as they are), any public ministry or vocation or responsibility, my house responsibilities, workouts, hobbies, or adventures. The only calling above ministry to Lisa is my ministry to love and serve my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

Now I will be up front; I am not perfect. However, anyone who knows me knows I am committed. During my education, parenting, or working I made no excuses not to date Lisa, assist around the house, or to help the kids with homework, because this is my calling. Every cell in my body accepts that I am called to be a servant to Lisa. 

Accepting my role as a servant (and the ongoing revelations of what that means) has been a journey of growth, repentance, and expansion of my servant heart toward Lisa. I started off young, immature, selfish, impatient, and unkind—like many married people do. Today, I accept my role as a servant. I am called to serve, period. 

from Living a Servant Marriage

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Dating ZZ

Start with the End

‘So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”’ Genesis 1:27-28(NLT)

‘Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. ‘ Ephesians 4:2-3(NLT)

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ‘ Ephesians 5:22-23(NLT)

A servant marriage is a response to the calling we all already received the moment we said, “I do.” All the courting, dating, emotional intimacy, quality time, and resources culminated into the primary lifelong relationship we call marriage. 

For some, years or decades may have passed since they received their calling to be married to the one with whom they would be given the privilege of serving alongside on their journey called life. However, in current culture, many couples are getting a quite different result from the happily ever after we have all heard about. Some feel alone or merely tolerated in marriage. Others feel unappreciated or exploited. Still others feel stuck or trapped “until death do us part.” Marriage challenges Christians, and some do not make it—their marriages end in divorce. 

How is it that so many start the race of marriage, but growing numbers of them do not cross the finish line of “until death do us part”? As a Christian counselor working with couples in distress for several decades, I have learned quite a bit over time as I see brave couples address their wounds, bad ideas, unproductive practices and attitudes, and move toward picking up new ideas to change their marriages for the better. 

One of these new ideas is learning that they are servants in their marriage and are responsible for how they believe and behave, and that they will stand before the Lord and give an account of how well they served their spouse—not how well they got served. 

Sometimes it helps to start something new with the end in mind. In the end, I will be accountable to God for how I served my wife. I believe this is a major evaluation point for my whole life. It is as if, in my spirit, I know that one of the major questions in heaven will be, “How well did you treat my daughter, Lisa?” Having this question on my final exam, so to speak, helps me decide how good of a grade I want from God in response to serving my wife, Lisa. 

For more many decades, Lisa and Jesus have poured a lot into me about becoming a servant. 

I want to expose you to the heart of serving. My hope is that, as you work through this plan, you will hear and reflect on these words on a daily basis, “Well done good and faithful servant.” This relates to the amazing servant you have been toward your spouse.

from Living a Servant Marriage

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Dating ZZ

Faith to Faith – Day 5

‘A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.’ Ephesians 6:10-17(NLT)

 “Doubt is a luxury we can’t afford…” -Helen Parr (aka Elastigirl)

I spent the last stretch of my childhood and well into my early adulthood fighting doubts about myself. I doubted my intelligence. I doubted whether or not I was pretty enough or talented enough.  I couldn’t pinpoint it, but somewhere along the way there had been an erosion of my self-esteem. It affected everything I attempted to do.  Deep down inside I felt as though God had given me something good for the world to see, but it wasn’t translating into my everyday life. Through a lot of prayer and study I began to see that there were patterns of thinking that needed to be corrected. This is a very practical thing that any trained psychologist could tell you. But there was another element…I realized I had an enemy who had declared war on my life in order to stop me. I had to learn how to fight.

Did you know that God teaches us how to fight? Psalm 18:34 says, “He trains my hands for battle; He strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow” and Psalm 144:1 also says, “Praise the Lord, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle.” Although David was referring to an actual physical battle, I believe the same principle applies in the spirit realm. It’s true that some battles are God’s and God’s alone. But there are other battles in which you must, along with God, be engaged and ready to attack. We must put on the whole armor of God! Satan is relentless and uses bullying tactics (negative thoughts and suggestions, the inciting of fear, etc.) to wear us down. Of course, there are various practical reasons why we struggle with doubt or fear. Perhaps we experienced a traumatic event that altered our thinking patterns. Maybe we grew up in a spiritually and/or mentally toxic environment. Those experiences are not to be discounted; however, it should not be overlooked that regardless of Madonna’s assertions, we are not living in a material world! We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, and so on. In those moments of doubt and vulnerability, I had to learn to go on the offense and begin fighting in the spirit. So, how do you “fight in the spirit” you may ask? Here are a few suggestions that have helped me over the years:

1. Pray! (If you have your prayer language, all the better!)

2. Have your own time of praise and worship! Put on some music if you can (acapella works too) and sing to the Lord! I have my alarm set for my time everyday. 

3. Confess scripture over your life and your day. No need to approach this legalistically, just a few scriptures will do. Also, if God has spoken something specific over your life, confess that too. 

4. Encourage yourself in the Lord. You can say things like “Someone needs what I have” or “what God has given me is beautiful” or whatever would be encouraging to you.

These suggestions will help you along your journey. You may add your own to this list. My prayer for you is that you are strengthened and ready for battle as needed. If you find yourself in a season of despair where fighting is not an option, my prayer is that God would set you upon a rock out of reach of your enemies (Ps. 27:5). I’m a witness that He’s able to do just that.

from Faith to Faith by Jerard & Jovaun

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Dating ZZ

Faith to Faith – Day 4

‘I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.’ Ephesians 3:16-19(NLT)

Have you ever loved someone so much until it almost literally hurt? When Jerard and I were first married, people used to tell us all the time “When you have kids, your life will change forever.” And we thought, “Sure, we get it.” We really thought we knew, but actually we had no idea how parenting would rock our world in the best way possible. Years later when our first son was born, we were so enamored with him. Every little expression, grin, coo was exciting to us. I remember just staring at him in amazement as he would nap. A couple years later when we found out our second son was coming, I became afraid that we wouldn’t be able to love him as much as our first. I was so wrong. He stole our hearts right out of our chests and we’ve never been the same since. As they grew older, we would watch them play and get so much joy out of their interaction. They weren’t doing anything special other than being silly, but we enjoyed every minute of it. How beautiful to think that God feels the same way about us. Even when we’re not doing anything particularly special or holy, God delights in us. He loves us deeply, and He wants us not only to know it but to walk confidently in it. BELIEVE THE LOVE THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU.

Of course you don’t necessarily need to be a parent to understand deep love. God has various ways of revealing Himself. I do however thank Him for our experience. Becoming parents has opened our eyes to the depth of God’s love in profound ways. Our children are living, breathing proof of God’s affection toward us. 

Being parents has also taught us to be more compassionate. I remember working in a youth ministry prior to having children, and I was known for being pretty strict. It got back to me that one of the parents said the only reason I acted that way was because I didn’t have kids. I was highly offended. Years later after becoming a parent, I had to admit they were absolutely right. 

Until our children become parents, they may never know just how deeply they are loved by us. They may never realize how many times we go ahead of them to protect them from unforeseen danger, and how other times we go behind them to clean up their messes. They may never understand the sacrifices great and small that have been made on their behalf. Yet as parents, it is our great pleasure to do this. I believe Jesus would say the same about you.

from Faith to Faith by Jerard & Jovaun

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Dating ZZ

Faith to Faith – Day 3

‘All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us. We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. ‘ 2 Corinthians 1:3-10(NLT)

Several years ago, Jerard and I were unexpectedly invited to relocate to Texas. We were asked to work on staff at a wonderful church who sought to diversify their congregation. The job offer seemingly came out of nowhere. I was particularly resistant seeing that we had been living in Nashville 14 years at the time, and, though life wasn’t perfect, I had no desire to move. As I began to pray about the situation, God clearly said to me “This move is going to cost you in comfort”. Of course I wasn’t too excited to hear that, and I actually didn’t know what it fully meant, but I accepted it none the less. I asked God to let the offer fall apart if it wasn’t from Him. The more I prayed that prayer, the more things came together.

Sure enough when we got there, several unforeseen things emerged that began to challenge us, not only where we worked, but in various areas of our lives that even affected our children. In this new uncharted territory, we found ourselves in “the great unknown where feet may fail”. Indeed our feet were failing, but we trusted that God had a plan. We had no idea what the plan was, but we knew that if He went through the trouble of uprooting our family, surely it was for good reason.  As time has progressed, our purpose continues to be clarified and we see God’s hand moving in ways we never dreamed. There is no question in our minds that we are stronger than we were prior to the move.

In 2 Corinthians 1, Paul described a time of discomfort and the challenges he faced in the province of Asia. It had gotten so bad that He said, “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die.” It may sound dramatic but if we’re honest, many of us have felt this way at some point or another. 

Two things happen when we experience trials. The first thing is we learn to fully rely on God (verse 9). During another time of discomfort in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, Paul asked God to remove a thorn in his flesh and God said no! He told Paul, “My strength is made perfect in your weakness” and insisted that His grace would be enough for him. He had to learn to trust in God’s strength and not his own.

The second thing that happens when we experience trials is that in our discomfort, we gain the ability to comfort others (verse 6). When we suffer, it’s not only about us but it’s about those whom God has placed in our path to comfort and encourage. 

If you find yourself in a difficult season, continue to call on the name of the Lord and keep your eyes fixed on Him. When the oceans in your life are rising, know that the pain you are experiencing serves the extraordinary purpose of strengthening you as well as encouraging others. When it’s all said and done, our Father wants us to be strong, mature, complete, and lacking nothing.

from Faith to Faith by Jerard & Jovaun

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Dating ZZ

Faith to Faith – Day 2

‘The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “Go down to the potter’s shop, and I will speak to you there.” So I did as he told me and found the potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. Then the Lord gave me this message: “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand. If I announce that a certain nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down, and destroyed, but then that nation renounces its evil ways, I will not destroy it as I had planned. ‘ Jeremiah 18:1-8(NLT)

In the early years of my walk with God, I thought (at least on a subconscious level, if not overtly) that if I lived perfectly, God would love me and bless me because of my goodness. Although that thinking isn’t totally right, it’s not totally wrong either. I do believe God favors us when we live a life of obedience to Him. After all, the word of God is full of instances in which conditional blessings were a part of God’s covenant with Israel (“If you do as I am commanding you, you will be blessed in the city, field,..” etc.). For whatever reason, we humans need incentive to continue on the path of righteousness, the hope of heaven being the ultimate incentive. However, there was something unhealthy about my “need to achieve” attitude when it came to my relationship with God. 

As you might imagine I was setting up an impossible standard for myself. Each time I made a mistake, large or small, it was a devastating experience. I felt that I failed God and that I was worthless. There was a particular area in my life that bothered me most. I fasted and prayed for many years concerning this area and actually this was quite helpful and kept the issue at bay for long stretches. However, I wanted to be done with it once and for all! It became my “thorn in the flesh”. As a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, I wanted to be able to say I conquered it! But the truth is, Jesus conquered it a long time ago. He already knew that despite our best efforts, there would be times when we would fall short. He knew that we would need to be put back together again. 

When we find ourselves in difficult places as a result of sin or just plain despair, we often hesitate to go to God. We may feel like He won’t receive us or perhaps He can’t or won’t help us.  We may also feel that He has forgiven us too many times and we are unworthy of his grace. I would submit to you that our Father longs to restore us. The Word of God declares in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

Even if you intentionally walked away from God like the Isrealites did so many times, God is able to change His judgement concerning you if you simply turn away from evil and run to Him. He will help you do this. He is eager for things to be well with us. Of course, this grace doesn’t give us license to live undisciplined lives, but The Potter will always be there just when we need Him.

from Faith to Faith by Jerard & Jovaun

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Dating ZZ

Faith to Faith – Day 1

‘For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God.’ Romans 10:4(NLT)

 During His ministry on Earth, Jesus attracted many people from all walks of life. Prostitutes, tax collectors, beggars, and others considered to be on the fringes of society. Children wanted to be near Him. The poor found hope in Him. He spent a great deal of time with large crowds of followers, teaching and healing. To them, His beauty was clearly seen. I wonder if we are able to recognize that same beauty today.

Our church family is currently reading through a Bible series together. In a year’s time, we will have read through the entire Bible. When it came time to read the section of the Bible called the Pentateuch (or the Torah) in which all of the laws and rituals were laid out, I have to be honest… it was pretty rough. Countless rules, regulations, stipulations, specifications, sacred festivals and feasts and the like were expected to be observed in order to walk in covenant with God. To say that many of them were hard to understand (especially given my 21st century, Americanized mindset) is an understatement. Needless to say when we finished the series, I walked away with an appreciation for Jesus’ sacrifice like never before! I had no trouble recognizing the beauty of His name. 

Thankfully, Romans 3:20 puts us at ease with this declaration: “Therefore no one will be justified in God’s sight by works the law. For the law merely brings awareness of sin.”  Galatians 5:14 also says, “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command. Love your neighbor as yourself.” The need to fulfill the requirements of the law spelled out in the Pentateuch are no longer the priority, but rather our relationship with Jesus Christ as well as our relationship with our fellow brothers and sisters. Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of the law. Now, that’s good news!

What Jesus has done for us is, indeed, a thing of beauty.  “Although the word “beautiful” is an unusual adjective in this context, it is an entirely appropriate description. He willingly sacrificed His life for ours. He laid down His power and left the splendor of His heavenly home so that we could enjoy His presence forever! His sacrifice has freed us from the law of sin and death. And He didn’t stop there. Following His death and resurrection, He sent His Holy Spirit to lead, guide, comfort, direct, to teach, counsel and advocate for us. We have so much available to us in Christ. What a beautiful Savior He is!

from Faith to Faith by Jerard & Jovaun

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Dating Infidelity: ZZ

Love Junkies: Break The Toxic Relationship Cycle – Day 7

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.’ Proverbs 3:5-8(NLT)

‘We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.’ Proverbs 16:9(NLT)

There’s a difference between a good choice and a God choice in relationships. Not just in the choosing of your life partner, but in navigating the challenges of marriage. Just because you say I do doesn’t mean that the fairy tale begins. There’s no such thing as a problem-free philosophy. Happily-ever-after is a fantasy, but when we allow God to direct our lives, fulfillment and joy are the rewards and realities.  

As we seek God’s direction for our lives and practice surrendering our will to Him, He’ll show us the way to go. In Genesis Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac. The servant prayed and asked God for a sign. “When I ask for a drink at the spring, let your chosen one be the one who offers water for my camels as well.” This wasn’t a haphazard re­quest. The servant was searching for a woman of character, a woman with a heart to serve. When the servant met Rebekah at the well and she offered to water his camels, he knew she was the Lord’s chosen. The match was obvious to Rebekah’s family as well. 

I know our culture doesn’t practice arranged marriages where the father picks out a spouse. But what if you allowed your heavenly Father to choose your mate? He has His absolute best in mind for you. 

Choosing a mate and submitting to God’s lead in marriage are difficult, but there are things you can do to strengthen your ability to trust His guidance. Ask God to show you something you can surrender that is just beyond the measure of faith you currently have. It’s difficult to let go of some­thing significant if you’ve never yielded something small. 

You can also pray for vision. Ask God to give you a vision for your future so that you can align the purpose for your life with His plans. When God wants us to believe, He sends many convincing proofs, so pray that He will confirm it in such a way that your hope and confidence is anchored and unwavering. 

When you pay close attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, you’ll be able to discern His direction. And like a dance, the closer you are to your partner, the easier it’ll be to feel His lead and surrender your will to His. 

from Love Junkies: Break The Toxic Relationship Cycle by Christy Johnson