Category: Dating

‘Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.’ Philippians 4:6-7(NLT)

‘Then Naomi said to her, “Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won’t rest until he has settled things today.”’ Ruth 3:18(NLT)

In concluding this 7-day devotional plan, I want to say that you will not attract to you what you are not. I hope you say, “I want to marry a person one day who loves the Lord loyally, who will love me faithfully, who will be pure in this relationship with me, and will guard the sanctity of our marriage.” If you desire that kind of spouse, then you need to be that kind of person. Like attracts like. You reap what you sow. If you put certain seeds on the ground, that’s the crop you get. You and I can’t go out tomorrow, plant tomatoes and get apple trees. If you plant tomatoes, what are you going to get? Tomatoes! If you sow a life of disregarding the Word of God and disregarding His plans for relationship and marriage, don’t be surprised when you reap the whirlwind in your own relationship. 

Pray for your future husband or wife. We’re certainly not a model, but it is a joy for my wife to be able to tell our children that she prayed for God to give her a husband who would love Him and as a result love her. She had not been in church very long (she first set foot in a church at the age of 16 and married at age 18), but she practiced that very early on when she was taught that at her youth group. Pray that you can gain discernment to know between right and wrong when it comes to deciding who you want your spouse to be. Pray for God to give you wisdom and discernment and to send that person your way, in His timing. 

In the book of Ruth, we see how she is submissive and obedient to her mother-in-law’s orders and plan for her when she requested marriage. Yet even when she did everything her mother-in-law, Naomi, asked her to do, Boaz still sent Ruth back home. Naomi’s response to Ruth after she came home to tell her everything was, “Sit back and relax, my dear daughter, until we find out how things turn out.” As difficult as it can be, sometimes we need to do the same: sit and relax. Wait on the will of God to be done. He knows the desires of our hearts. He hears our prayers. Let’s wait for the Lord’s way to be revealed. 

from Christian Courtship And Dating

‘One day Naomi said to Ruth, “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for. Boaz is a close relative of ours, and he’s been very kind by letting you gather grain with his young women. Tonight he will be winnowing barley at the threshing floor. Now do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don’t let Boaz see you until he has finished eating and drinking. Be sure to notice where he lies down; then go and uncover his feet and lie down there. He will tell you what to do.” “I will do everything you say,” Ruth replied. So she went down to the threshing floor that night and followed the instructions of her mother-in-law. After Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he lay down at the far end of the pile of grain and went to sleep. Then Ruth came quietly, uncovered his feet, and lay down. Around midnight Boaz suddenly woke up and turned over. He was surprised to find a woman lying at his feet! “Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she replied. “Spread the corner of your covering over me, for you are my family redeemer.” “The Lord bless you, my daughter!” Boaz exclaimed. “You are showing even more family loyalty now than you did before, for you have not gone after a younger man, whether rich or poor. Now don’t worry about a thing, my daughter. I will do what is necessary, for everyone in town knows you are a virtuous woman. But while it’s true that I am one of your family redeemers, there is another man who is more closely related to you than I am. Stay here tonight, and in the morning I will talk to him. If he is willing to redeem you, very well. Let him marry you. But if he is not willing, then as surely as the Lord lives, I will redeem you myself! Now lie down here until morning.” So Ruth lay at Boaz’s feet until the morning, but she got up before it was light enough for people to recognize each other. For Boaz had said, “No one must know that a woman was here at the threshing floor.” Then Boaz said to her, “Bring your cloak and spread it out.” He measured six scoops of barley into the cloak and placed it on her back. Then he returned to the town. When Ruth went back to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, “What happened, my daughter?” Ruth told Naomi everything Boaz had done for her, and she added, “He gave me these six scoops of barley and said, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’” Then Naomi said to her, “Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won’t rest until he has settled things today.”’ Ruth 3:1-18(NLT)

‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.’ Proverbs 31:10-31(NLT)

In the book of Ruth, we learn about a godly woman who desires marriage. We also see Boaz, a godly man of integrity who desires the will of God.  We see God put a marriage together through the life of Ruth and Boaz. I encourage you to read it, especially chapter 3, which gives us the opportunity to think about decisions that are made regarding marriage.

Let’s go through characteristics and qualities that we see in both Ruth and Boaz that we can apply to our lives.  Ruth and Boaz were individuals who were known in the city as people of virtue and integrity

In the MacArthur Study Bible, there is a comparison of Ruth and the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman. Each was…

· Devoted to her family

· Delighting in her work

· Diligent in her labor

· Dedicated to godly speech

· Dependent on God

· Dressed with care

· Discreet with men

· Delivering blessings.

Ruth was loyal, virtuous, and pure.  

Boaz had the Lord firmly before his mind and expressed the love and kindness of God in his affection for Ruth. He was a protector who protected Ruth’s reputation. No one really loves you if they’re willing to do something that would harm your reputation in the Lord or if they are leading you into sin. When someone loves you, they want to protect your testimony. 

Boaz was also a provider who took care of Ruth. This is something that is lost in our culture, but I’m absolutely confident and stand on firm Biblical ground that it is the husband’s God-given responsibility to supply the material needs of his family.

Although Boaz wanted to be married, he would not violate the Word of God. There’s a higher priority than love for a person, and that’s love for the Lord. That is the foundation for a great marriage. It’s not love for each other first, but loving God supremely. If you don’t love the Lord more than you love the person you’re marrying, you’re off on the wrong foot right away. If you would violate the Word of God to marry that person, then you don’t love the Lord more than you love them. 

from Christian Courtship And Dating

‘And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.’ 1 Timothy 2:9-10(NLT)

‘She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.’ Proverbs 31:22(NLT)

‘Now do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don’t let Boaz see you until he has finished eating and drinking. ‘ Ruth 3:3(NLT)

There are some practical matters to consider when it comes to meeting the person the Lord wants you to marry. There are practical things to keep in mind. I know we can place too much emphasis on appearance. In our culture, if we’ve been out of balance, it’s certainly been on the side of putting too much stress and importance on how we look. On the other hand, sometimes within the church we get the impression that it doesn’t matter how you present yourself or it doesn’t matter about your appearance. I believe we need to teach that appearance does have some importance. 

Your appearance can certainly say that you’re vain, but it can also say that you’re lazy. What we want our appearance to say is that we are neat, orderly, and godly. Whether male or female, we need to be encouraged to present a good testimony in the way we take care of ourselves. The Bible does not neglect the matter of appearance. The Bible does put more stress on how we look on the inside, than how we look on the outside, which should be our emphasis as well, but it doesn’t teach us to neglect our appearance. 

Paul says in the book of 1 Timothy, “Women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety.” We need that message in our churches; modestly and discreetly. Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman as dressed in fine purple linens. She didn’t go out wearing a burlap sack. These are practical things to consider. You can be naïve if you want to and say that appearance makes no difference, but even in the Bible, godly virtuous Ruth took her mother-in-law’s advice and paid attention to the way she appeared when she presented herself to Boaz. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re a young woman who doesn’t take care of her appearance, and every time a young man sees you, your hair is all messed up, and you look like you’re ready to wrestle him; it’s no wonder he doesn’t take any notice of you. You may think, “Well, what’s wrong? I love the Lord.”  You look like you love wrestling. That’s what’s wrong. There’s something to be said for taking care of yourself. These are practical matters to consider when dating and during courtship. 

from Christian Courtship And Dating

‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.’ Proverbs 31:10-31(NLT)

Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem. This is God’s truth, and it’s very skillfully written. The Hebrew word translated excellent is used 244 times in the Old Testament. Its basic meaning is strength. In fact, some have translated it as valor. Think about the strengths that are found in manhood, those strengths that may be physical in nature and turn into someone’s character. When used of a woman, the word communicates virtue. That is the excellent wife: a woman who is strong, worthy, virtuous, and a crown to her husband. 

Interestingly, if I were to ask you, when you think about Proverbs 31 verses 10 to 31, do you think these verses are instructions for a man or woman? How would you categorize it? I think we all tend to categorize it as instructions for women. However, I believe this was written as instructions for a son and for a man. This speaks to men greatly. These instructions tell a man what kind of woman is excellent, virtuous, and desirable. This woman that is described in Proverbs 31 is the type of woman you should marry. My point is that this poem is not only for women, but for both man and woman. Men should read it as instructions to not only look for, but pray for. Then trust and wait on the Lord for her. 

Obviously, it is also instructions for a woman. I’m very grateful that God has given me a wife who embodies the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman. She’s not perfect, no woman is, but has those characteristics in her, and that’s God’s grace to her and to me. My wife Jackie was raised in a non-Christian home. She came to Christ in her late teenage years. I share this to encourage anyone who has not been raised in a Christian home, nor has been set with this as a model. My wife didn’t have this kind of model, and so it is good for women who are believers to know that you have everything you need to live this out. God has given you the new nature and the capacity for truth, and He has given you the desire to be who He wants you to be. God will produce these things in your life if you desire it and are teachable. 

I encourage you, man or woman of God, to read Proverbs 31 to have a deeper understanding of who God wants you to be or pray for when it comes to dating and the potential of marriage. 

from Christian Courtship And Dating