Category: Dating

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SEX AND MORALITY

‘God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5(NLT)

When it comes to sex, we enjoy God’s gifts of sensuality and “fleshly” pleasure to the fullest extent only when they’re experienced within the proper context: marriage.

Though the notion of Christian sexual morality is often criticized as “repressive,” it’s actually a matter of restraining and channeling the power of sex to make it as effective as possible to our lives.

Are you familiar with the word “dissipation”? It refers to the wasteful squandering and loss of positive energy that results when a substance is not properly contained. When water is forced to flow through a narrow channel, for example, it generates incredible power. But if it bursts outside of those boundaries and spills out across the land, that power is lost.

That’s dissipation, and the word has a particular relevance to the question of sexual morality. This is what the writer of Proverbs had in mind when he penned the following verses:

Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?
Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
(Proverbs 5:15-20)

Clearly, these are not the words of someone who is “uptight” about sex, who “fears” the world, or who rejects the beauties of creation. Such poetry does not flow from a “repressed” mind that “avoids the joys of life,” as some critics of sexual morality would have it.

On the contrary, it expresses deep and ecstatic appreciation for the vibrancy and vitality of sexuality that is under control. This is what has inspired those who believe in God and who keep His commandments to declare, “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

This is one of the best kept secrets of the “straight-laced religious life”: all the best research indicates that the most sexually satisfied people in modern society are not the adventurous swingers, but rather faithful, monogamous married couples.

This, then, is what Christian sexual morality is really all about. It’s not a set of restrictive rules designed to prevent us from having fun. It’s the key to total fulfillment of our sexuality. It’s the doorway to a truly satisfying and abundant life in the realm of marriage and male-female relationships.

For more help, visit Pure Intimacy or Focus on the Family’s main website .You can also call the ministry’s Counseling Department for a free consultation at 855-771-HELP (4357).

from God’s Design For Sex

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

SEX AND THE TRINITY

‘In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God.’ John 1:1(NLT)

Charles Williams, close friend of C. S. Lewis and member of that illustrious group of intellectuals known as the Inklings, had a deep understanding of God’s design for human sexuality. In writing about Dante’s portrayal of romantic love in The Divine Comedy, Williams says that that the poet’s vision signifies three things.

First, it’s a picture of the Trinity: One God “subsisting” in Three Persons. Second, it’s a reminder of the Incarnation: humanity and divinity seamlessly bonded in the Person of Jesus Christ. Third, it’s a symbol of something Williams likes to call the “mystery of co-inherence”: the intimate communion of me in you and you in me.

Jesus expressed it this way in His high priestly prayer: “As You, Father, are in Me, and I in You, [I pray] that they may be one in Us …” (John 17:21).

This is what the Image of God in man is really all about. The God we worship does not exist in isolation. On the contrary, He has been in community for all eternity. The three Persons of the Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – interact with one another in perfect communion. That truth helps us better understand what the apostle John had in mind when He said that “God is Love” (1 John 4:8).

It’s also why God said that “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). After all, how could one man, who was by himself, reflect the full Image of a God whose very nature exists in communion? That only became possible when Adam saw Eve advancing toward him in the full splendor of feminine beauty and said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23).

All of this leads to an inescapable conclusion with regard to our sexuality. In a profound and wonderful way, our sexual lives are intended to mirror the reality and beauty of the Trinity in our marital relationships.

As theologian George Weigel explains, when we view God’s directives for our sexuality in this way, “the first moral question shifts from ‘What am I forbidden to do?’ to ‘How do I live a life of sexual love that conforms to my dignity as a human person?’”1 Sex, then, rightly understood and practiced, is in a very real sense fundamental to mankind’s function, purpose, and destiny within the miracle of God’s creation.

For more help, visit Pure Intimacy or Focus on the Family’s main website .You can also call the ministry’s Counseling Department for a free consultation at 855-771-HELP (4357).

George Weigel, The Truth of Catholicism: Ten Controversies Explored (New York: Cliff Street Books, 2001), 104-105.

from God’s Design For Sex

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Dating Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

PURITY

‘In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.’ 1 Peter 3:1-2(NLT)

Chastity isn’t a concept you hear much about these days, but it’s been an important Christian virtue for more than twenty centuries. Chastity is usually defined as sexual abstinence before marriage and sexual fidelity within marriage.

It reflects the biblical worldview that we have no inherent right to sex. The privilege of sexual union with another person is conferred upon us only by the wedding ceremony.

But chastity takes the idea of purity beyond the sexual sphere alone. It’s a crucially important piece of Christian faithfulness and discipleship. Its implications reach across the entire spectrum of Christian experience and touch every area of our lives.

That’s why the apostle Peter was able to tell women that it would be through their chaste conduct that unbelieving husbands would be won to faith in Christ. Peter wasn’t simply exhorting Christian wives to avoid extramarital affairs. He was suggesting that a life of single-minded discipline, focus, and devotion makes a deep impression on those who are not yet personally acquainted with the Lord.

We often talk in the church about the devastating consequences of having extramarital sex – life-altering troubles such as the possibility of STDs, unwanted pregnancy, and the cheapening of something that God intended us to share with just one other person.

But the most essential truth about chastity and purity is that turning away from unhealthy expressions of sexuality and romanticism better enables us to focus on God in a way that otherwise isn’t possible. “Blessed are the pure in heart,” said Jesus. And why? Because “they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). Sexual immorality inhibits us from focusing on our truest Lover, the Lord.

Chastity, then, is first and foremost a spiritual discipline. Like prayer, fasting, study, silence, charity, and giving, it’s something God asks us to practice, not because it will get us into heaven, but because it will help transform us into new creatures.This kind of purity is not the mere absence of illicit sex, but an active conforming of one’s body, soul, and mind to the image of Christ.

For more help, visit Pure Intimacy or Focus on the Family’s main website .You can also call the ministry’s Counseling Department for a free consultation at 855-771-HELP (4357).

from God’s Design For Sex

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Dating ZZ

What Is True Love? Conclusion

Living the New Life
‘Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Instructions for Christian Households
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.’ Colossians 3:1-25(NLT)

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:1-2(NLT)

‘I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord . Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord , who have no confidence in the proud or in those who worship idols.’ Psalms 40:1-4(NLT)

Considering all that we have read and studied and contemplated these past several days, does your heart long to know true love and to truly love the Lord?! We need the Lord. He is the only one who can show us what true love is and how to let go of the sin that seems to cling so closely. Leaving self and putting to death the flesh is a lifelong task. It means DAILY we must put off our own ways and “walk it out by faith.” We need to practice Taking the Truth to Heart and Bringing It to Life daily. We must put off the lies of the flesh, the devil, and the world and put on the truth of God’s Word by the power of the Holy Spirit. The more we learn to lay off the comforts and ways of this world, the more we will be able to enjoy the joys and presence of Christ, and the more our appetite for Christ will grow. We will be transformed by the renewal of our minds and our hearts. We will desire to leave our old ways and cleave to the comforts and ways of Christ and know the true joys and true pleasures of true love. We will experience His love in and through us and fulfill God’s purpose for us as stated so clearly in the Westminster Catechism: What is the chief end of man? Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever!

Let’s pray, “I love you Lord, because you hear my voice and my pleas for mercy. Your love has been poured into my heart through the Holy Spirit who has been given to me. Thank you, Lord!”

Taking the Truth to Heart:
Choose a Scripture from today to take to heart.

Putting SELF to death:
What sin is being addressed in your life by the Scripture you wrote.

Bringing the Truth to Life:
What specific changes do you need to make in your thinking or attitude or behavior to submit to God?

from What Is True Love?

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The Outcome of True Love? J! O! Y!

‘Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.’ Isaiah 40:28-31(NLT)

On any given day our soul can ache from the effects of indwelling sin, and our heart grieves in our weakness. John Owen would say he felt as weak as water. Some days can be much more difficult than others. The winds change and the storms of trial come and go in our lives. The enemy accuses. Where is our hope? In Christ! When trials hover for months, years, even decades, where is love then? Where is our hope? In Christ! Our submission to God is tested and tried. Where is our obedience? Through Christ! In the throes of a trial, so many thoughts and feelings crash, collide, and careen through our heads and our hearts. Where is our energy, our strength, our youthful zeal? In Christ!

J
JESUS is your all and all; your everything. Take Him at His Word and believe what He says and not what you think, nor what anyone else says, or what you feel. He is central, foundational, core, everything, preeminent–ALL. Christ! His life, death, and resurrection were all for the sake of unworthy rebellious sinners like you and me. He set aside His position and His crown and laid down His life. We are called to that same death of self for the sake of Christ and others.

O
Obedience. Obey God’s Word and trust Him in thought, word, and deed. Cling to Christ and His love. Choose to put away feelings and old default ways of thinking and put on faith, believing that what God’s Word says is true.

How do we follow the source of true love and allow His love to flow in and through our lives? How do we learn to remain by His side and in step with His Spirit and follow His impulses and not our own?

First, we must see if we have drifted out from under His banner of love. Ask: “Am I seeing clearly? Am I walking in step with you, Lord?” We can pray a short prayer throughout the day to help us: “Help me believe in your love and walk in your love! Lord, I want to love you. Help me love you with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and help me to love others.”

Y
Your youth is renewed like the eagles! You find joy in the Lord and strength from that joy!

from What Is True Love?

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Our Sole Desire Is True Love.

‘The one thing I ask of the Lord — the thing I seek most— is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord ’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music. Hear me as I pray, O Lord . Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “ Lord , I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation!’ Psalms 27:4-9(NLT)

‘Teach me how to live, O Lord . Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.’ Psalms 27:11(NLT)

‘Wait patiently for the Lord . Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord .’ Psalms 27:14(NLT)

‘And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”’ Nehemiah 8:10(NLT)

Read Psalm 27:4-9, 11, 14 and Nehemiah 8:10.

If our sole desire is to love Christ fully, we must cling to His side and follow Him fully. To follow Him fully, we must pick up our cross and lose our life to live His. We must die to self, to our ways, our wants, our exaltation. It is in this death, the death of self-love, that the love of Christ comes to life in us. We must look to Him–to no one else, to nothing else–for peace, acceptance, approval, direction, and worth. We must find all of our joy in Him. He must be our great reward. We must rest fully upon the benefit we have hoped for in Him. We must rest in the Lord and not in our own righteousness. We are to put no confidence in self. In fact if we leave self behind that is when we will more fully encounter Christ.

Leaving self is no small feat, however. It means that we must leave behind our own ways, insights, wants, will, fears, insecurities, problems, concerns, must-haves, etc. The more we leave the comforts and ways of this world, the more closely we will be able to cleave to the comforts and ways of Christ. The more we rejoice in Christ, the more willing we will be to serve Him and suffer for Him, and the less danger we will be in of being drawn away from him. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

If we seek to be filled with Him and His love, we must walk with our hearts knit to His throughout the day, no matter how severe the storm or how great the distraction or how strong the temptation that comes our way.

Tomorrow we will see what this looks like practically, day to day.

Taking the Truth to Heart: Choose a Scripture to take to heart to renew your mind and transform your heart.

Putting Self to Death: What specific sin is being addressed in your life by the Scripture you wrote? Paul tells us very specifically to put off the old self.

Bringing the Truth to Life: Put on the new self–Christ. What very specific adjustments do you need to make in your thinking or attitude or behavior to submit to Him and apply His truth to your mind and heart?

from What Is True Love?

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How Do We Walk in True Love?

‘We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.’ 1 John 4:16-17(NLT)

‘So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”’ John 13:34-35(NLT)

Read 1 John 4:16-17 and John 13:34-35.

What releases love? How do we rid ourselves of sin and self-love and walk forward in true love?

We can’t do this without Him and without His help. It is so easy to lose focus or be thrown off. The love of Christ and the gospel is our only hope. Jesus came and lived, died, was buried, and rose again to overcome sin, Satan, and death. The Son of God who loved us also gave himself for us. He laid the path before us in His love. “Lord Jesus, I want to walk in this love. Help me put all of my hope and all of my trust in you.”

Reading the hymns of old saints can help us focus our mind in the fight. We hear their hearts exulting in God, worshiping Him, living lives of holiness, and loving Him with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. Consider these stanzas by Isaac Watts in his hymn “Awake My Zeal, Awake My Love.” Does your heart long to love the Lord like this?

Awake, my zeal; awake, my love,
To serve my Savior here below,
In works which perfect saints above
And holy angels cannot go.

Awake, my soul, to feed
The hungry soul, and clothe the poor;
In Heav’n there are none in need,
Their hearts are full forevermore.

Subdue my passions, O my soul!
Maintain the fight, God’s work pursue,
Daily my rising sins control,
And the vic’tries be ever new.

The land of triumph lies on high,
There are no foes t’encounter there;
Lord, I would conquer till I die,
And finish all the glorious war.

Let every flying hour confess
I gain Thy Gospel fresh renown;
And when my life and labors cease,
May I possess the promised crown!

Taking the Truth to Heart: Choose a Scripture to take to heart to renew your mind and transform your heart.

Putting Self to Death: What specific sin is being addressed in your life by the Scripture you wrote? Paul tells us very specifically to put off the old self.

Bringing the Truth to Life: Put on the new self–Christ. What very specific adjustments do you need to make in your thinking or attitude or behavior to submit to Him and apply His truth to your mind and heart?

from What Is True Love?

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Resistance to Love

‘So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. ‘ Galatians 5:16-25(NLT)

If Christ is love and to love as Christ is the goal, then there will be resistance to this pursuit. If God is love, then Satan our enemy is diametrically opposed. Life is not only difficult, it is a battle. Just like sheep need a shepherd to remain on the right path and to remain safe, we need to follow our Lord closely to keep from wandering, becoming entangled in the world, lost in ourselves, or deceived by the enemy.

We can see the frailty of our frame and cry out with the Puritan, “O Lord, I am a shell full of dust . . . I am no rare object of valuable price, but one that has nothing and is nothing . . . I am deeply convinced of the evil and misery of a sinful state, of the vanity of creatures” (from “Man A Nothing,” in The Valley of Vision).

If God is love and we have trusted in Christ as our Lord and Savior, we know we are loved. We also know that we have been rescued from the kingdom of darkness that opposes love and have entered into the kingdom of this true love. Now we want to know how to walk in it. How do we do this? By keeping our eyes on the gospel and being energized by the gospel:

-the gospel is the foundation of true love
-the gospel displays love
-the gospel defines love
-the gospel enables us to respond in love

Daily we have to ask the Lord to help us follow Him, walk in His love, love Him, and extend His love.

Taking the Truth to Heart: Choose a Scripture to take to heart to renew your mind and transform your heart.

Putting Self to Death: What specific sin is being addressed in your life by the Scripture you wrote? Paul tells us very specifically to put off the old self.

Bringing the Truth to Life: Put on the new self–Christ. What very specific adjustments do you need to make in your thinking or attitude or behavior to submit to Him and apply His truth to your mind and heart?

from What Is True Love?

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Self-love Must Not Obstruct True Love

‘Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ. Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.’ 1 Corinthians 3:10-15(NLT)

‘The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the Lord your God, who does these miracles for you. Never again will my people be disgraced.’ Joel 2:25-26(NLT)

‘But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.’ Ephesians 4:20-24(NLT)

Self-love not only prohibits true love, but also destroys it.

What is self absorbed with? SELF. Fear. Unbelief. Mistrust. Conflicting thoughts. Conflicting feelings. Ungodly self-centered passions and desires. Anger. Hurt . . . deep hurt. Haunting emotions and memories. Untruths. Success. Fame. Fortune. Self-aggrandizement. The root that seems to be common in all lack of true love is a focus inward on ourselves instead of a focus outward on God and others.

So where is your focus? How do you spend your time, your money, your resources, your talents, your affections? Where do your thoughts wander or even fixate upon during the day? What words come out of your mouth? In other words, what do you talk about or whom do you talk about? Is your focus on self?

Although we may have laid the foundation of Christ in our life, we can discover that we have been building on that foundation with the rickety and shoddy workmanship of self. But God can redeem and restore the years the locusts have stolen and take what the enemy desired for evil and use it for good. He can even use our sinful, selfish ways to reveal more of His love, His mercy, and His grace.

Take a moment to think this through and then pray this prayer:

“Lord, please open the eyes of my heart and let me see the inside. Is there love? Is there hurt? Pride? Anger? Selfishness? What is keeping me from knowing your love and living in your love? I want to know this true love in such a way that I would live and preach the true love of the gospel with my lips and with my life. According to Paul, if we have not love we are nothing. Have mercy on me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Taking the Truth to Heart: Choose a Scripture to take to heart to renew your mind and transform your heart.

Putting Self to Death: What specific sin is being addressed in your life by the Scripture you wrote? Paul tells us very specifically to put off the old self.

Bringing the Truth to Life: Put on the new self–Christ. What very specific adjustments do you need to make in your thinking or attitude or behavior to submit to Him and apply His truth to your mind and heart?

from What Is True Love?

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The Way We FEEL Is Not Necessarily REAL

‘See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is. And all who have this eager expectation will keep themselves pure, just as he is pure.’ 1 John 3:1-3(NLT)

‘This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. We must not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what was righteous. So don’t be surprised, dear brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. If we love our brothers and sisters who are believers, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them. We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ‘ 1 John 3:11-18(NLT)

Consider this: The way we FEEL is not necessarily REAL. We are so easily deceived by our emotions. Our actions and our attitudes tell us so much more about whether or not we love than our feelings do. And even when we self-examine, our view is distorted. We are blind and can barely see. We look at the one or two self-sacrificing things we might do in a day and yet the remainder of the day is following our own devices and desires.

What do your actions say?

How do we get to true love when we have been born and raised in a self-centered and self-loving world? How can we discern the difference and where do we even begin? We must look to who God is, for God is love. He is the source, and what He does and who He is gives us a proper understanding and definition of love.

Thankfully God’s love is not granted to us based upon merit. Praise God for His mercy because none of us deserve His love. But we graciously have been given His love in Christ. If so, we know the source of true love. In salvation we received His love, and we were given His love by grace–by His Holy Spirit. So we can:

love God and
love others.

This means that love is the spring of all our actions.

Do you know Christ’s love? Have you been a recipient of the love of God and Christ His Son? Do you know the reality of the gospel?

The Lord so desires that we humbly enter into His love and receive His love. He will meet us wherever we are–in sadness, in joy, in disappointment, in victory. He desires that we know that He truly loves us. And He wants us to trust His love. May we come to Him with all of our cares, with all of our fears, with all of our sin, and with all of our troubles and lay them at His feet and receive His grace, mercy, and love in exchange.

from What Is True Love?