Category: 2nd Marriage

‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”’ Mark 10:45(NLT)

‘Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ‘ 1 John 3:18(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Harvard Law School lists about two hundred action words that students can use to describe their experiences and accomplishments. There are words like adjusted, balanced, counseled, illustrated, and served. Guess what word is not in this extensive list? Love. 

The dictionary lists three different uses of the word love as a noun. But when I use the word love relating to marriage, I use it as an action word. Love is how I express my affection for Nancy by the way I do life with her. I want to serve her, cherish her, and have fun with her. Those desires may originate in my heart, but the way she sees them is through my actions—the things I do for her, the way I treat her, the activities that we do and enjoy together. I can tell her a thousand times a day that I love her, and she likes that; but what turns her head are the actions that are born out of love. What about you? What is an action of love you want to do for your spouse today? 

Today’s One Thing: Turn your love for your spouse today into one action of love! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.’ Proverbs 17:17(NLT)

‘Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. ‘ 1 Peter 4:8(NLT)

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

It seems that most couples who enter into marriage think they know each other pretty well. That was certainly true of Nancy and me, but it did not take us long to realize that living together as husband and wife revealed lots of new things we did not know about each other. Some new things we really liked, but a few new revelations were unsettling. (Honestly, Nancy had a lot more to deal with than I did.) 

In our first year of marriage we found ourselves clueless as to how to deal with a few things about each other that were a little difficult to accept. What about you? Is there something about your spouse that is hard for you to accept? How does that affect you day to day? There have been a lot of things in marriage that have taken me years to make sense out of, but this is one I figured out pretty early. When I stood at the altar and said, “I do,” there were no conditions on that commitment. My vows covered everything I knew about Nancy and everything I did not know. I took her as my wife, and it was never going to be my job to change her—that was God’s job. That one reality was truly a lifesaver for our marriage.

Today’s One Thing: If there is something about your spouse that is difficult for you to accept, turn it over to God today! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ‘ Ephesians 5:29(NLT)

‘Do to others as you would like them to do to you.’ Luke 6:31(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Do you know how to make sure the romantic thing you are doing for your spouse is really romantic? This is not rocket science—just ask your spouse! My dad was a romantic. He did so many things for my mom that she loved. So when I entered into marriage, I had a long list of romantic things to do for Nancy. Yet, there was one problem: Everything I did for Nancy was not always received the way I intended. I thought something was wrong with her! 

It took me a little too long to figure out that what my mom thought was romantic and what Nancy thought was romantic were often different. My mom’s love language was gifts, and Nancy’s is quality time. Nancy liked the gifts I bought, but when I set aside time each day to spend with her, that was when she really felt loved. That was romance for her. Think about it this way: If you are going to carve out time, put out effort, or spend money to be romantic, why not be sure you hit a home run? 

Today’s One Thing: Ask your spouse one thing they consider romantic—then do it! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)

‘Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:22-24(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Whether you are just married or have been married for many years, answer this question for me: When did you know that he or she was the one? For me it was pretty early in our dating relationship. Since I thought Nancy was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, I’m sure I thought on date one that I could marry her! Yet, as we dated, I began to see the ways she was different from other girls that I had dated, and they were differences I really liked. She also had all the things that I had liked in other girls I had dated (not that I had dated very many girls). I knew she was the one when I took time to add everything up. She was beautiful, caring, fun, interesting, strong, opinionated, smart, adventurous, and my best friend. Best of all, she loved me and wanted to build a marriage on God. What about you? When did you know? What was on your list? 

Today’s One Thing: Tell your spouse when you knew and why today!

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ‘ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT)

‘Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.’ Proverbs 3:3-4(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Say your marriage makes it 50 years and on that 50th anniversary, as family and friends gather to celebrate with you, someone asks, “What is your secret to a lifelong marriage?” How would you answer? 

If someone had asked me that question on our wedding day many years ago, I think my answer would have been “love.” At 22, I was seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. I knew I loved Nancy and she loved me, and that was all we needed. I just knew that we were set for a great life together. 

Today I would answer that question differently. Sure, love is still important, but love alone will not get you to the finish line. I think my answer today would be commitment—commitment to each other and to God; a deep, etched-in-stone commitment that covers the good days, the bad days and all the days in between; a commitment that never wavers, no matter what. That is the secret to going the distance.

Today’s One Thing: Renew your commitment to your spouse and to God! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘ Colossians 3:12-13(NLT)

‘Yes, this was their unanimous decision. They signed a treaty as allies against you—’ Psalms 83:5(NLT)

‘Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!’ Matthew 18:21-22(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Have you ever wondered why the hardest people to forgive are sometimes the ones we love the most? Maybe it’s because we let our guard down with them and become very vulnerable. Maybe it’s because we don’t want to give them a chance to hurt us again. The paradox is that even though we know that the possibility of reconciliation will never happen without forgiveness (which is usually what we truly desire), we hold on to our unforgiveness. 

So what about your marriage? Is there something you are holding on to that is limiting your marriage? Is it keeping you from embracing all God has for your marriage? If there is, maybe today is the day to forgive. If you’re not currently withholding forgiveness from your spouse, focus on keeping a heart of forgiveness for your spouse. It really goes back to God asking us to forgive—He has forgiven more than any of us can ever imagine. He is our model of what forgiveness is all about.

Today’s One Thing: If you have any unforgiveness toward your spouse, begin the process of forgiveness today! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.’ Proverbs 19:14(NLT)

‘You can make many plans, but the Lord ’s purpose will prevail.’ Proverbs 19:21(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Do you see your spouse as a gift from God? When Nancy and I look back over our story together, it is easy to see God’s hand all over our relationship. It starts with both of us ending up at a college that was not on either of our radars until the last minute. It continues with two friends who thought Nancy and I needed to meet. Our story still amazes me and also helps me see that Nancy really has always been a gift from God to me. He knew the kind of wife I needed and the kind of husband she needed. 

The longer we are together, the more we see the plan unfold. I know there have been (and still are) times when I’ve taken her for granted, but I always come back to the truth that God designed a gift that has been perfect for me. What about you and your spouse? Can you backtrack and see how God brought the two of you together? Can you see how perfect you are for each other when you embrace your differences? Can you see your spouse as a gift from God?

Today’s One Thing: Thank God for the gift of your spouse today! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.’ Proverbs 3:3-4(NLT)

‘But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Mark 10:6-9(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

What does “fighting for your marriage” mean to you? Maybe you’ve never really thought about it, or maybe you think it sounds like a lot of work! For me, fighting for my marriage starts with a solid foundation with three parts: Nancy, me, and God. It is the three of us working together for an Awesome Marriage. This picture keeps my perspective right. 

The three of us can stand together against anything that would come against our marriage. Together we fight a culture that does more harm than good to mariages. We fight temptations that could wreck our marriage if we gave in to them. We build and strengthen our marriage through actions and activities that connect us, such as praying together, worshiping together, reading the Bible together, having date nights, spending quality time together each day, and making time for sex. 

I look at it this way: If we do not purposefully fight for our marriage, we run the risk of settling for a marriage that is far from God’s incredible design. Now it’s your turn. If you are not fighting for your marriage, commit to start today! 

Today’s One Thing: Together choose to fight for your marriage by _____________ every day! 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:3-4(NLT)

‘For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. ‘ James 3:16-17(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

Today’s “One Thing” question is for me: How have you been selfish in your marriage this past week? Ugh! I hate that question because it always nails me. Selfishness is my greatest fault. It freaks me out that I see the results of selfishness every day in the counseling room and still know it is my number one issue. I know all the right answers. I know by putting everything in God’s hands, I can walk away from selfishness. There are days, sometimes weeks, when I do that well. I’ll be rocking along really well, but then I seem to put my guard down and do a 180 that removes God from first place in my life and puts me in His place. 

I wish it only affected me—that would be easier for me to take. But it doesn’t just affect me. You see, when I move God out of first place, I move Nancy out of second place, and it affects my marriage big-time. Then it trickles down to other areas of my life. Have I been selfish in my marriage this past week? Yes. Am I giving up? No. With God’s help, I will remove my selfishness and put Him back in first and Nancy back in second. It is the only way it works!

Today’s One Thing: If you have been selfish in your marriage this week, what do you need to do today? 

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling

‘Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. ‘ Romans 12:10(NLT)

‘But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. ‘ 1 Corinthians 3:13(NLT)

Devotional Content: 

What is the most romantic thing your spouse has ever done for you? A couple of things come to my mind when I think about my own marriage. Nancy and I had been married about three years and had lived in apartments the whole time. We were driving around one afternoon and literally stumbled into a new addition of homes that seemed to fit our price range. We looked at five show homes, but none of them seemed to fit us. As we talked to the builder, he said, “Why don’t you let me build the house for you that you want?” We had heard horror stories about couples building houses, but we said yes. We were determined to make this a great experience. 

As I was getting ready to leave work one evening, Nancy called and asked me to meet her at the new house. There was only the concrete slab, but on that slab Nancy had a tablecloth, candles, and a great picnic dinner. It was so romantic to me because I saw her being purposeful about making this a great experience. 

Another romantic thing Nancy does for me is when we go on trips for just the two of us, she always buys a new nightgown for the trip—just for me. Now that you have had a couple of minutes to think, what is the most romantic thing your spouse has ever done for you?

Today’s One Thing: Share with your spouse that “most romantic thing” they have ever done for you!

from One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day by Dr. Kim Kimberling