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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 7

‘He went inside and asked, “Why all this commotion and weeping? The child isn’t dead; she’s only asleep.” The crowd laughed at him. But he made them all leave, and he took the girl’s father and mother and his three disciples into the room where the girl was lying. Holding her hand, he said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means “Little girl, get up!” And the girl, who was twelve years old, immediately stood up and walked around! They were overwhelmed and totally amazed. Jesus gave them strict orders not to tell anyone what had happened, and then he told them to give her something to eat.’ Mark 5:39-43(NLT)

If you can’t think of a single reason to stay with your spouse, remember that Jesus went to the Cross for you when you were useless to Him. He kept His covenant with you when you didn’t give Him a single reason to.

•••

Do you feel like your marriage is hanging on by its last strand? Like the rope that once held you together has unraveled, and you are not sure how much longer it will hold? Despite what you may think, or what Satan may be telling you, it is not a lost cause! We serve a God of restoration and redemption. Stop looking at that unraveled rope and gaze upon our miracle working God. If there are people in your life speaking negativity over your marriage and pointing your attention to the unraveled rope, it’s time to remind them, and yourself, that if Jesus can resurrect a dead person, He can resurrect a dead marriage. God loves you and He loves your marriage. He longs to see unity in your marriage even more than you do. Your marriage is not a joke to Him and is not something He takes lightly. Hang in there and cling to God’s word and His faithfulness. He is fighting for your marriage. 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 6

‘Come, everyone! Clap your hands! Shout to God with joyful praise! For the Lord Most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth. He subdues the nations before us, putting our enemies beneath our feet. He chose the Promised Land as our inheritance, the proud possession of Jacob’s descendants, whom he loves. Interlude God has ascended with a mighty shout. The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring. Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises! For God is the King over all the earth. Praise him with a psalm. God reigns above the nations, sitting on his holy throne. The rulers of the world have gathered together with the people of the God of Abraham. For all the kings of the earth belong to God. He is highly honored everywhere.’ Psalms 47:1-9(NLT)

One thing we have learned is that it is really fun to be super silly with each other. To laugh and to cause laughter. But most of all to choose joy when Satan is screaming the opposite.

•••

Today is the day to dance in the kitchen. To go on a walk and call a race to the next stop sign. To have fun! Today is the day to choose joy. Satan is always trying to get us offended, fearful, stressed out, worried, and anything else that will pull us away from enjoying time with our spouse. But it is so necessary as children of God to rest in His promises and enjoy every day life. God is good, and we can count on Him to take care of things that we can’t. Choose joy today because your hope is in God. Don’t look at circumstances, look at your spouse and most of all look at your God. Remember that today is a blessing and make it a good one. 

Choose joy today!

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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 5

‘Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord .” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude’ Psalms 32:5(NLT)

There should never be anything you have to hide from your spouse. You, and everything you do, should be an open book to them.

•••

You should be someone that your spouse can completely trust 100% with no reservation. There should be nothing in the dark corners of your mind that aren’t brought into the light before your spouse and God. There should be nothing that you feel needs to be hidden. If there is, it’s probably because Satan has convinced you that it should be, because breakthrough is on the other side of your honesty. The truth isn’t always easy to accept or to confess, but it is always worth it. Let today be the day that if there is anything hidden, it is brought into the light. Ask God to lead you and help you live a life with no secrecy in your marriage. Gut level honesty brings a sense of freedom to be who you are and to feel accepted and loved. 

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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 4

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

The future is a stranger, but if the two of you focus on the One who holds your future then neither of you will have to worry about what it may hold. 

•••

Fear… Whew… Fear is such a liar yet is sometimes so easy to believe. It is so easy to freak out when the finances don’t amount to the bills. Or when a loved one is really sick. Or when the car breaks down. Or when ________… You fill in the blank. There are so many different circumstances and situations that pull us towards fear. Fear is always trying to creep its way into our lives and into our marriages. However, we serve a God that is far more worthy of our attention and energy than those lies that are trying to cripple us and put strains on our marriages. Today is the day to turn your worry into praise and thank God that you have nothing to worry about. Thank Him that you can literally trust Him with everything, and tell Satan that you’re not buying his lies. 

If fear tries to stress you out today, before you allow it to control you, ask yourself if God is stressed out about it. He isn’t, because He already has a plan. 

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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 3

‘We love each other because he loved us first.’ 1 John 4:19(NLT)

Do you put effort into being sweet, kind, patient, soft toned, etc.? If not, maybe you should try it today and the rest of your days. 

•••

What does your spouse love? Coffee? Tea? Hamburgers? Tacos? Walks? Board games? Take note of those things and go out of your way for them. Fix them a cup of coffee. Take a walk with them. Choose a something to do that shows them that you care, and that your relationship is not based on convenience but rather on the fact that you desire to serve them. Kindness isn’t always convenient, but it’s always worth it… especially in marriage. Hold hands in the car. Give a kiss when you arrive, another when you’re leaving, and many in between. Give a long hug. Give a massage. Be present. 

How can you go out of your way to be kind today? 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 2

‘Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.’ Psalms 34:14(NLT)

If you see a problem in your marriage, you don’t stop participating in your marriage, you stop participating in the problem.

•••

Sometimes it is easy to draw back and not communicate when we are frustrated with our spouse. It’s easy to listen to that little voice telling us, “Well I’m just not going to talk because ______.” You fill in the blank. However, speaking up and having those hard conversations is sometimes the key to not having the same frustration about the same situation again. If you want to read 1 Corinthians 13 before approaching your spouse about something that is bothering you, do it. But don’t dust it under the rug and hope that it cleans itself up. Have the attitude that you will do whatever it takes and have whatever conversation that needs to be had before you allow it to keep your marriage from thriving and being at it’s full potential.

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31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 1

‘So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ‘ James 4:7(NLT)

The most guaranteed way to turn your marriage away from destruction is to choose to turn yourself away from sin.

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It is so important in marriage to remember that sin is not just avoiding those big, “no nos.” Sin is disobedience, too. It’s not just avoiding things like adultery, it is also ignoring the voice and nudges of God. If God whispers for you to hug your spouse and tell them that you love them, in the middle of a difficult conversation or disagreement, and you refuse that is sin for you. If God tells you to send a text message saying that you’re sorry and your pride gets in the way, that is sin for you.  Satan would never tell you to be kind and forgiving towards your spouse, so when you feel those prompts, thank God for looking out for your marriage and obey Him. 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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Love Daily

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLT)

When we love others, it goes way beyond feeling an emotion that makes us smile and feel tingly inside. The love God showed toward us is our guide in showing love toward others. Loving our spouse daily includes actively putting their needs above ours and honoring them even when we don’t feel like it. Some days it’s easier to love our spouse, and some days it’s a choice. Here are some ideas that will help you truly love your spouse.

Shared Activity 

One of the things that may have attracted you to your spouse is that they’re completely different than you. Whether that’s the case or not, finding activities in common will build the friendship and bond you have. Consider serving at your church or a non-profit together. Maybe there’s a sport you could watch or an activity you could do. It’s not necessarily what you do, but that you find a shared activity to enjoy together. If this isn’t something you’ve ever considered, spend some time with your spouse and discuss some different options.

Prioritize Your Spouse

In the world we live in, there are a million different things vying for our time. We say yes to things that we probably shouldn’t have. When we do, it’s typically our spouses who get pushed to the back of the priority line. We assume they’ll understand, and they might, but consistently doing this will cause a rift that’ll be hard to overcome. So, choose your spouse over every other earthly relationship. Prioritize your time with them so they’ll feel valued, cherished, and loved. Take some time to ask your spouse this question: Do you feel like you’re my priority? Then, listen without defenses raised, and be willing to make some changes. 

Display Affection 

The word affection means a strong fondness, which can be displayed in a variety of ways. We aren’t all created equal when it comes to our needs, so it’s wise to learn how your spouse receives and feels loved by you. It could be words, or it could be hugs. Maybe your spouse feels how fond you are of them when you do something for them because it shows they were on your mind. Have a conversation with your spouse about what makes them feel that you are displaying affection toward them, and then make a daily plan to do just that. If you already know, what are you waiting for?

Reflection

In what area do you need to improve in your marriage? Sharing an activity, prioritizing your spouse, or displaying affection?

from Being Intentional In Your Marriage

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Protect Daily

‘Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. ‘ Galatians 6:2(NLT)

‘Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT)

‘Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ‘ 1 John 3:18(NLT)

Protecting others comes easily for some, but not so easily for others. This isn’t just about physical protection, although that’s part of it. Protecting our spouse will also protect our marriage. So many things are vying for our time, attention, and hearts that it’s wise for us to go into protection mode in our marriages. Here are a few thoughts as to how you can protect your spouse. 

Grow Through Conflict 

Conflict is inevitable, because we’ll disagree and become annoyed. Yet, conflict helps us grow deeper in our marriage because we’ve learned how to navigate that relational hurdle. How well couples repair the damage from their conflict is a vital component to a long and successful marriage. Don’t try to push an issue aside and avoid challenging situations. As you experience conflict, choose to fight for your spouse, not against them. Your spouse may feel hurt during conflict, but don’t intend to do that. Walk through conflict in a healthy way in order to protect your spouse. Spend time analyzing your marriage when it comes to conflict. Ask each other, “Do you feel that we fight fairly and handle conflict well?”

Gentle Honesty 

A marriage should have a culture of honesty. This is only built if both believe that being honest is absolutely necessary. Often, we don’t want to be completely honest for fear that we’ll be rejected by our spouse. It also could be that we don’t want to hurt our spouse with the truth. We think avoiding the truth will prevent pain, but in the end, it only causes more. Being honest with our spouse protects our marriage from deception. If we’re honest in the little things, that will lead us to be honest in all things. Take an honest look at your marriage. Discuss the culture of your marriage with your spouse as it relates to honesty or deception. Assess areas that need an adjustment. 

Be a Step Ahead 

This particular area of marriage is so very simple, yet it can make a significant impact. Each spouse has their own load to carry, burdens to bear, and hardships to endure. Seeking to be empathetic in order to see the responsibilities your spouse has will help you learn how to serve them. When you do this, you’ll be a step ahead and they won’t have to even ask. Look for ways you can protect their schedule from being overwhelmed. Surprise them by doing a chore they normally do, and do it for them. Incorporating these small things into your marriage will show your spouse that you truly care and desire to protect them. 

Reflection

In what area do you need to improve in your marriage? Growing through conflict, honesty, or being a step ahead?

from Being Intentional In Your Marriage

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Support Daily

‘Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. ‘ Romans 12:15 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.12.15

‘Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.’ Ephesians 4:29 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/EPH.4.29

‘Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.’ Colossians 4:6(NLT)

‘So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)

The world we live in isn’t always friendly. You’ll find disagreements and division about every single topic. Because of that, our spouse should be our closest earthly relationship, and we should be their greatest source of support. We are the ones who “have their back,” and who are “on their team.”  Here are a few suggestions on how to be your spouse’s greatest support.

Speak In Love 

Words carry a lot of weight. When we speak to others, we can delight or depress, compliment or condemn, help or harm. The words that leave our mouths typically do one of two things: build up or tear down. When voices everywhere chip away at our spouse’s heart, we get to be the one who speaks love, joy, and hope into their lives. Ask the Holy Spirit to be your internal alarm when words leave your lips that don’t build up your spouse. You’ll be amazed at the person they become simply because you adjust how you speak. As you go through each day, consider the words you speak to, over, and about your spouse, and let them know you plan to be their greatest fan. 

Display Empathy

Empathy is a quality that doesn’t come easily or naturally for most people. What is it? It’s simply the ability to see another’s viewpoint and attempt to understand their feelings by stepping into “their shoes.” When we do this, it allows us to adjust our actions in any given situation. Even though it’s typically unnatural for us, it can be cultivated and learned. All it takes is effort on our part to see its importance in our relationships. Your spouse isn’t you, and vice versa. When your spouse shares something with you or acts in a certain way, understand the history, experiences, and difficulties guiding their actions. Seek to understand why they do and say what they do because that will give you more compassion when you find it challenging to understand them. Before the day is over, ask your spouse how they feel you’re doing in understanding them. 

Champion Dreams

Everyone has dreams and desires, and that includes your spouse. Some dreams appear attainable and within reach. Others might seem monumental and beyond our abilities. As mentioned, this world can be ugly and people can say and do things to squish our dreams. Spend some time asking your spouse what their dreams and desires are, and truly listen to them. Encourage them to step out of their comfort zones and also let them know you’re willing to help. Sometimes their dreams will inconvenience us, which is an amazing opportunity to show them we support them and are willing to walk with them to achieve those dreams. 

Reflection

In what area do you need to improve in your marriage? Speaking in love, displaying empathy, or championing dreams?

from Being Intentional In Your Marriage