Category: 2nd Marriage

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

You Must Act to Rescue Your Family

‘This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God. Noah was the father of three sons: Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Now God saw that the earth had become corrupt and was filled with violence. God observed all this corruption in the world, for everyone on earth was corrupt. So God said to Noah, “I have decided to destroy all living creatures, for they have filled the earth with violence. Yes, I will wipe them all out along with the earth! “Build a large boat from cypress wood and waterproof it with tar, inside and out. Then construct decks and stalls throughout its interior. Make the boat 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high. Leave an 18-inch opening below the roof all the way around the boat. Put the door on the side, and build three decks inside the boat—lower, middle, and upper. “Look! I am about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die. But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. Bring a pair of every kind of animal—a male and a female—into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. Pairs of every kind of bird, and every kind of animal, and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground, will come to you to be kept alive. And be sure to take on board enough food for your family and for all the animals.” So Noah did everything exactly as God had commanded him.’ Genesis 6:9-22(NLT)

‘“If you love me, obey my commandments. ‘ John 14:15(NLT)

Noah’s story is almost always told the same way, but we need to think about how hard it was to actually build the ark… God instructed Noah on how to construct it, but if he and his family had not followed through in obedience, salvation would not have come. God did not make an ark appear, Noah and his family had to build it.

God literally gave all the details necessary for building the ark. When we follow the Lord, He gives direction. His Word is filled with guidelines toward a blessed home, but the decision to build on it and execute His orders is ours to make. The Bible states that Noah did everything exactly as God had commanded him. Just as Noah, we must be attentive to his commands, bring them into our homes, and obey every single one of them. 

Noah had to work for it. If the ark had not been built, surely the family would have no shelter to be saved from the flood. To rescue our home and family, we must act as God dictates.

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

The Salvation of Your Family

‘The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. And the Lord said, “I will wipe this human race I have created from the face of the earth. Yes, and I will destroy every living thing—all the people, the large animals, the small animals that scurry along the ground, and even the birds of the sky. I am sorry I ever made them.” But Noah found favor with the Lord .
The Story of Noah
This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God. ‘ Genesis 6:5-9(NLT)

‘But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. ‘ Genesis 6:18(NLT)

Noah and his family lived in a time of moral depravity, so great that the Bible says the Lord saw wickedness and thoughts that were always for evil. However, the Lord showed his goodwill to Noah. In fact, the story is not just about Noah, but about his entire family. In the midst of the flood, God spared the lives of eight people, a whole family. Noah did not win alone.

Amongst all the wickedness, God found benevolence in Noah. Why? Because He found a family that would serve Him in Noah’s house. He saw a family shaped by godly standards and not by the society in which they lived. A family that serves the Lord is different, and even with all the ugliness of the world, God still saves them. A family that belongs to God does not stay in the storm, but has shelter inside the ark.

The world today can be compared to the society of Noah’s era. We live in a time of moral decay and many social, political, and spiritual issues. That is reason why we need to take care of our homes: so there is salvation in it. We need to attain God’s attention, just as Noah’s family, so we can receive the information on how to build and find protection inside the ark.

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Dead End

‘Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”’ Matthew 19:26(NLT)

‘“O Sovereign Lord ! You made the heavens and earth by your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you! ‘ Jeremiah 32:17(NLT)

‘For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. ‘ Philippians 4:13(NLT)

‘Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.’ Isaiah 26:4(NLT)

‘Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”’ Deuteronomy 31:8(NLT)

Last week I was driving home. I was coming a different way because I had been in a meeting in a different part of the city. I don’t go that route often because a train track crosses the road at one point and my experience is that the trains that cross there have a million cars (a slight exaggeration). As I approached the tracks, I saw a train was approaching and knew that by the time I reached the intersection the train would be stopping all traffic for some time. I quickly turned down a side street that I thought would lead me to a street that would allow me to go around the train. It would take me a little out of my way, but it kept me moving and would be better than waiting for the train to pass. So first a right turn for a couple of blocks and then a left to take me around the train path. I was feeling really good about outwitting the train and then I came to a sign that said ‘dead end’ but to me it did not look like a dead end. I could see pretty far in front of me. I thought it must be an old sign or was there to keep people from cutting through the neighborhood. With that logic, I went for it. I hate being wrong but I was wrong. The sign said ‘dead end’ and it was a dead end. No way out. Stuck. I turned around and retraced my path back to the train track. The train had passed and traffic was moving.  

As we have looked at a number of traffic signs during this two part reading plan, I want to close with this one. Never see your marriage as a dead end. Never give up hope. Stay committed. There is always a solution. Pray for your marriage. Fight together for your marriage. Heed the signs. STOP before you choose pornography or infidelity. YIELD to your spouse and fight the battle of selfishness. Stay on the ONE WAY street that God has given you in your marriage. Obey the DO NOT ENTER signs. Go SLOW and embrace your marriage. Do not run past the CAUTION signs. Protect your marriage and BUCKLE UP. Navigate the CURVES together. Finally, know that quitting is not an option. You have the God of the universe on your side. He has the answers that you do not. He puts the marriage relationship right under our relationship with Him. Your marriage never has to be a DEAD END.  

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What gives you hope in your marriage even when others might quit?

2. When Dr. Kim says that “You have the God of the universe on your side,” how does that change your perspective?

3.  What is something that might at first look like a dead end, but with God’s help is not?

Going Deeper:

If you ever feel your marriage is at a DEAD END, will you give it one more shot? God wants to work a miracle. He just needs you to ask Him in!

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Curve

‘“Watch out! Don’t let your hearts be dulled by carousing and drunkenness, and by the worries of this life. Don’t let that day catch you unaware, like a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on the earth. Keep alert at all times. And pray that you might be strong enough to escape these coming horrors and stand before the Son of Man.”’ Luke 21:34-36(NLT)

‘This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”’ Joshua 1:9(NLT)

‘Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. ‘ Colossians 3:2(NLT)

‘So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:9(NLT)

Curve signs warn us. We do not see them with every curve on the highway, but when we do see them, they tell us that there are some serious curves ahead. We need this information to help us prepare for what lies ahead. Curves are not disasters. They are just part of the highway system. If we are aware, we make it past them without a problem. If we were not aware of them, they could definitely cause us serious issues.  

Marriage is also full of curves. Last year I did a blog series on “Destinations.” In short, the premise was that we are all on a ‘marriage highway’ and we all want an awesome marriage. To reach that destination, we have to navigate the highway. The marriage highway has curves. The curves are the normal things every marriage encounters. You will have financial issues. You will have times that you do not feel emotional love for your spouse. You will not always agree on everything. You will have to work on communication and your sex life and resolving conflict. These are all curves and being aware that everyone encounters them helps you prepare. Your awareness lets you embrace these curves and work through them together. That is what keeps curves from becoming disasters. The good news is that navigated curves help build awesome marriages.  

Is your marriage on a curve today? WIll you let God navigate you through it? He wants to do that for you. So ask Him to join you today.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What are the curves you have experienced in your marriage thus far?

2. What curve is your marriage navigating today?  

3. WHat helps you as a couple to navigate these curves in your marriage?

Going Deeper:

Too often I see couples ignore the curve signs until they are at the brink of disaster. Remember that God always has an answer for every curve. Develop the habit of going to Him immediately as your marriage enters a curve.

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Buckle Up

‘Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18(NLT)

‘And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.’ 1 John 5:14-15(NLT)

‘“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”’ Matthew 18:19-20(NLT)

‘Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! ‘ Hebrews 13:1-2(NLT)

‘And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:25(NLT)

I barely remember riding in cars that did not have seat belts. Then seat belts became standard equipment but no one really used them much. In my family growing up, we wore them when we traveled out of the city but not in the city. Then people began doing studies which showed that seat belts actually saved lives. It was an evolutionary process from no seat belts, to seat belts, to seat belts work. Today there are signs that remind us to ‘buckle up’ but most of us already have before we see the sign. Buckle up: it makes sense and it saves lives.

Do you ‘buckle up’ your marriage? Do you do the things to keep it safe? Here are two suggestions.  

First, pray together. I can hear some of you saying, I can’t do that. That would be too weird. Yet, you can do that and yes, at first, it may be weird. People ask me, “what is one thing I can do to improve my marriage?” My answer 100% of the time is pray together. Pray for each other. Pray silently together. Pray out loud together. There is no magic formula. Just start today and pray.  

Second, worship together. There is something special that happens when we worship with our spouse. In Genesis 2, we see God spend time with Adam and Eve together. There was something very special about that and it is a model for us. Worship together every week with your spouse. It will make a difference.  

Buckle up. Keep your marriage safe. Pray. Worship. Start now.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What are you doing today to keep your marriage safe?

2. If the two of you are not praying together, why not begin today? Keep it simple and stay at the comfort level of the one who is least comfortable.

3. Do you worship together each week. If not, will you commit to begin this weekend?

Going Deeper:

Keeping your marriage safe is really about putting God exactly where He wants to be and that is right in the center of your marriage. Together commit to put Him there and keep Him there every day.  

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Slow

‘As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”’ Luke 10:38-42(NLT)

‘Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.’ Psalms 62:5-6(NLT)

‘Be still in the presence of the Lord , and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.’ Psalms 37:7(NLT)

There are traffic signs that tell us to go slow.  Sometimes it is for the safety of others.  It could be  a ‘school zone’ or an area close to a park. If I slow down, I become more aware of what is going on around me. There may be children crossing the street on their way to or from school. At the park, a child may be playing ball and be so caught up in the game that they do not realize that they have chased the ball into the street. By going slow, I can adjust to the situation. I am more aware and able to respond.  

There are other times that the ‘slow’ sign is for my safety. There may be a change in road conditions and by going slower, I can make the necessary adjustments. Where I live there is a lot of road construction going on. Going slower keeps me safer in construction areas.

My life is fast paced. There are many days that I do not get everything done that I either need to do or want to do. I get up early, have a quiet time, work out, get dressed and go – and go – and go – all day long. I need to slow down. I need to slow down for others – especially my wife. I need to take time to be with her each day. If I am always on the go, I do not listen well or interact well. Slowing down makes my marriage better.

Slowing down also helps me. Over time a hectic daily schedule is not healthy. My body needs a rest and time to relax. My soul needs a rest and I need more focused time with God where I can really hear what He is telling me.   

So the bottom line is slow down. Slow down and embrace your marriage. Slow down and embrace life. What can you do today to slow down and, more important, what is keeping you from doing it?

Today’s Challenge: 

1. In your life, what would a sign marked SLOW mean to you?

2. What is one why you could slow down and embrace your marriage?

3. How can you slow down in order to hear what God is saying to you?

Going Deeper:

As you think about the benefits of slowing down, what would keep you from making those changes? How can you overcome those obstacles?

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating ZZ

No Coasting

‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ‘ Hebrews 12:1(NLT)

‘So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.’ James 1:4(NLT)

‘for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.’ Philippians 1:5-6(NLT)

The apostle Paul hits the nail on the head for us as we wrap up this nine day study. He says in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” In lay terms, hang in there, never give up, and your marriage will thrive.

Look at it this way. Let’s compare marriage to a long distance race. The truth is that most of us did not prepare well for the race. We just jumped in and someone said go and we went. We did not train. We did not change our habits or behaviors. We just ran. So it is not surprising that not too far into the race some of us were ready to bail out. Others seemed to be hanging in, but they were really struggling. It comes down to this.

Everyone in the race needs hope. Hope that they can make it the distance. Hope that there are a whole lot of water stations along the route that refresh and energize them. Hope that their spouse is running side by side with them. Hope that their spouse is in it with them to the end. Hope in the truth that they are not running the race alone – God runs with them.

My prayer for you is that you have an Awesome Marriage. I often say that marriage is not rocket science. The 7 “Secrets” are not difficult. It is living them out day after day that can be difficult. I encourage you to persevere, because one day you will say it was worth it. One day as you look back you can see how far God brought you. I wish I could tell you that Nancy and I have always had an Awesome Marriage, but I can’t. We have had some really rough times, and once were at the edge of divorce. In many ways, I am thankful that our marriage took the turns that it did, because otherwise I do not think we would have learned all that God wanted us to learn.

Today our marriage is awesome. Here is your final takeaway: No matter where your marriage is today, God can make it awesome. All you have to do is turn it over to Him and walk faithfully each day in the path He sets before you. Take these 7 “Secrets” and let Him change them into steps that will build a marriage that you both will cherish and the world will look at and say, “What is their secret. They have such an awesome marriage.” Then you can tell them all that God has done.

Prayer: Ask God to encourage and guide you as you work with Him to turn the “secrets” into steps.

from 7 Secrets To An Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating ZZ

FIGHT: The Power of Fighting Together on the Same Team

‘For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”’ Matthew 18:20(NLT)

‘What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? ‘ Romans 8:31(NLT)

‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘ Colossians 3:13(NLT)

If in a Christian marriage the two truly can become one, why does it seem so difficult to fight together on the same team? In Ecclesiastes chapter four King Solomon says, “Two are better than one” and “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” and finally “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

Look at what happens in these verses. He makes his case first for a couple locking arms and standing together against anything and everything that the world throws at them. Then he takes it up to a whole new level with the “cord of three strands.” This is the picture of a husband and a wife and God bound together in the marriage. The God of the universe. The God of all creation. The God who is everything cares about your marriage. He cares so much that He will put Himself right in the middle where He belongs – if you let Him.

What stands in the way of you fighting together with God? Is it something from the past that is still unresolved? Maybe it is an issue of broken trust or un-forgiveness. Whatever it is, your first step is to let God search your heart and reveal what needs to change. That can be a little bit scary, because when you open yourself up and completely let Him in, things are going to change. The control passes from your hands into His. I promise you this, God will never do anything that is not the very best for you, your spouse, and your marriage.

Now you can do things differently. Now you can stand together instead of apart. Now you can lock arms with God and take on the world. Your life will be better. Your spouse’s life will be better. Your marriage? You cannot even imagine all that our amazingly good God will do.

Prayer: Ask God to fight with you and your spouse as you seek together the incredible marriage that He has for you.

from 7 Secrets To An Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating ZZ

MINGLE: Sex as the Mingling of Souls

‘Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:1-5(NLT)

‘My lover is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies.’ Song of Songs 2:16(NLT)

‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:2(NLT)

The first time I heard Tommy Nelson of Denton Bible Church teach the Song of Solomon I was amazed. I think I knew the book was a love story, but I had no idea it was that intense a love story. I listened as he described the couple making love two times. I listened as he told of their desire to make love all night long. I listened as he described sex in marriage in the most beautiful way I had ever heard. It was amazing! But then it hit me. I could not believe it. He was teaching from the Bible. You know what that did for me? It took sex from a cultural view to God’s view. It took it from the back seat of a car to the passion of the marriage bed. Sex was a gift from God, and He gave us in marriage a way to be joined to our spouse physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The Hebrew word is “dod.” It means a “mingling of souls.” It is sex at its deepest level, and it can only happen in a Christian marriage. Does it happen in every Chris-tian marriage? No, but it can. Let me give you a formula. (Guys really like formulas, and this is one that works.) When you turn the other six Secrets into steps and live them out with your spouse in your marriage, “dod” happens.

Every last one of us brings sexual baggage into our marriages. It is part of the curse of our culture. Yet God can and will heal your sexual hurts. For many of us, they are deep and the healing may take time, but we follow a God who heals and He can heal you. He wants to heal you.

So in this world we hear more about sex than ever before. It is always on TV, it is on the covers of most magazines, it is all over the internet, and it is the subject of most movies. The sad thing for our world is that none of these tell the story of sex the way God created it to be, and most people buy into the lies and thus miss out on the best sex ever.

Having a great sex life in marriage is important. Wherever it is in your marriage today, do not settle for less than God’s best. Commit to each other to let God renew your minds, heal the past, and help you have a sex life in your marriage that mirrors the Song of Solomon.

Prayer: Pray for God to heal your past sexual hurts. Then together pray for God’s blessing on your sex life as you seek to redefine it God’s way.

from 7 Secrets To An Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage Dating ZZ

BALANCE: Scheduling for a Better Marriage

‘They even did more than we had hoped, for their first action was to give themselves to the Lord and to us, just as God wanted them to do.’ 2 Corinthians 8:5(NLT)

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’ Matthew 6:33(NLT)

‘You can make many plans, but the Lord ’s purpose will prevail.’ Proverbs 19:21(NLT)

As a kid growing up, I had balance down to an art. I could do tricks on my bike that drew a crowd of other neighborhood kids every time I performed. It was awesome. Yet as a married young adult, I had no idea what balance in a marriage was all about. My balance in marriage was awful.

The first time that I heard the analogy of a man being the hunter who pursues the woman of his dreams, I did not get it. As hunters we pull out all the stops to get her, but once we do – once she says “yes” and the ring is on her finger – we go out to conquer other things. We quit pursuing her and move on to a career or a hobby or something else. (Thank you, Dr. James Dobson. I just wish I had listened.)

I guess the best way to define balance in a marriage is to keep your spouse number two. In the first years of our marriage, I did a really bad job of balance. I pursued a career and tennis and running and working in the yard and friends, and Nancy went from being my number two to way down my list. You would have to ask her where she felt she fell on my list of things that are important. So the time in our marriage that almost ended it was in direct correlation to a marriage that was terribly out of balance. God gave me a wakeup call and another chance. I had to get this balance thing down. You know what I learned? Getting our marriage in balance took a lot of work, but I found that I liked my life in balance a lot better that a life not in balance. I liked putting Nancy number two and when I put her number two, guess where she put me? Yep, I was now her number two.

This is the cool thing God taught me. I am busier today than I have ever been, but if you asked Nancy where she ranked in my life, she would without hesitation say she was number two! I ask God to show me what I need to do each day for Nancy to know how much I love her and how important she is to me. You know what? He does!

Prayer: Ask God to show you where you are out of balance in your marriage and then ask Him to help you put your marriage into balance.

from 7 Secrets To An Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling